The Chances We Take
by basketballchickie32
Summary: Three more years and I can finally escape this place. New grade, same pathetic excuses for my classmates. Nothing ever changes in this small ass town, although I wish it would. Maybe then my life wouldn't suck so badly. Maybe I could actually have a friend for a change. AU AH Warning: Abuse, language, and possible lemons. Mature themes. BxE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I've tried." - Mulan**

Chapter 1

BPOV

August 2008

I walk in to Forks High School for the first day of sophomore year with my head down low, just trying to blend in with the crowd. My goal in high school has always been to get it done as quickly as I can and without notice. I prefer it that way. The rest of the school seems to prefer it that way too, seeing as though they have made nominal efforts to interact with me.

I walk into the guidance office to pick up my schedule for the year. Many students are in the line in front of me waiting to see what kind of torture will be inflicted upon them in the form of classes this year.

I ignore the constant stares and snickers from my peers. Oh great, I thought, the constant laughing and teasing is already starting up. I frowned. They don't know me. They don't know about my life or why I've been through. They don't care, no one does. I've never fit in here. I don't fit in anywhere. It's not without lack of trying because I do. But when people take one look at you and decide you're not worth it, you kind of stop finding reasons to try.

Ever since the first day of freshman year when my first period teacher, Mr. Banner, called my name out during roll call and got pissed that I didn't answer verbally, I have been shunned by nearly everyone. He kept asking why I wouldn't answer him, to which I still wouldn't answer. This just made him angrier and angrier, for reasons I have no idea why. When he finally gave up he, being the dickheaded teacher that he is, not so subtly called me a freak under his breath. Lucky for me, the jackass in the front row, known to the rest of the school as Tanya Denali, repeated the nickname to the entire school until it stuck. Now, everyone calls me Freak because I won't talk.

I've always been quiet. I don't think I can even remember a time when I spoke. I can't help it. It's not that I can't talk, I just choose not to. People only talk because they have something to say. I've learned from past experiences that it's best not to say anything at all, that way you can't get hurt from it.

I'm broken out of my inner monologue when I walk straight into a rock hard chest that would have knocked me to the ground if said person hadn't of caught me on my way down. I look up to find a boy with the most beautiful green eyes staring down at me.

"Are you okay?" He asked while looking me up and down for any signs of injuries.

I nod my head, completely mesmerized by his simple act of kindness. Anyone else in this school would've let me fallen and laughed as I did. But this unfamiliar boy didn't.

We just stood there, gazing into each other's eyes for another minute. I was curious as to why he was treating me like a human being. He obviously didn't know about the Freak and to avoid it like the plague like everyone else did. Of this, I was completely thankful for. He must be new here. No one I knew would've helped me stay upright, let alone ask if I was okay.

Completely unaware of our surroundings, we stood there in the middle of the guidance office for what seemed like forever, but was probably only a few minutes. Still in the same position, his arms around my torso, holding me up even though I had already regained my balance seconds after I nearly fell, we just stood and stared. We were finally interrupted by the guidance counselor, an elderly lady named Mrs. Pope, who was telling us to keep moving up the line. We both snapped out of it instantly. He looked down at me as he ran a hand through his wild bronze hair.

"Sorry Ms. I didn't see you there." He said and started to walk away. He glanced back at me and smiled.

I was in a daze. I got my schedule and managed to find my first class even though I was still completely mesmerized by the boy.

I walked in the class and sat in the very back. As seats started to full up, I was brought back to reality when I noticed Tanya in the seat in front of me.

I groaned.

The bell rang and the teacher walked in. I hadn't even bothered to look at my schedule until now. I had AP Biology with Mrs. Wilson right now.

I sighed in relief. Mrs. Wilson was my physical science teacher last year and I loved her and the subject. As she started to explain the syllabus, the door opened and the boy from the guidance office walked in. He just stood at the front of the classroom as Mrs. Wilson looked over his papers.

I just stared at him. So he _was_ new here. This was the first time I got a good look at all of him, not just his face. Holy shit was he hot. He was about 5'11 and thin. He had a tall strong build. He was muscular but not overtly so. His brown hair and green eyes made him look young. He had a jawline that could give someone a paper cut. He wore a dark blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up at the elbows and jeans. He made such a casual outfit look completely extraordinary.

The teacher introduced him to the class as Edward Cullen. Mrs. Wilson told him to take any seat that was left. I glanced around the room and noticed all the seats were taken except for the one next to me. I gulped.

He looked up and his eyes found mine instantly. I blushed and had to look away. He made his way to the back of the class to the seat next to mine. I didn't look up as he sat down. Mrs. Wilson started going over our syllabus again. Edward turned and faced me and said hey.

I looked up. I was in shock. He was actually trying to talk to me. I didn't know how to answer him, so I didn't. I just stared at him instead. He's new here and he doesn't know anyone, of course he's going to try to talk to the first person he sees. He doesn't know what he's doing.

He tried to make a conversation with me for a few more minutes, but he eventually got tired of me not speaking back to him and quit. I sighed. He was done with me already.

About five minutes later, I saw him scribbling something on a sheet of paper. He slid the paper over to me.

 _You don't talk much do you?_

I looked up and shook my head no. He grabbed the paper again and wrote some more.

 _Okay then. I guess I'll talk to you here. I'm Edward._

 _Bella._ I wrote back.

 _Hi Bella, it's nice to meet you._

I smiled, like actually smiled, for the first time who knows how long.

The bell rang and I got up to get to my next class. To my surprise, Edward also showed up to my next class, Pre - Calculus with Mr. Molina. He didn't sit by me this class though. I was disappointed for a fraction of a second until I realized that I didn't even know the guy.

I sighed and watched as Edward goofed around with a bunch of football players for the whole class period. I wondered if he played football because he acted as if he already knew the guys when he went to sit down with them.

My next two classes pass by quickly and I am only bothered by a few kids in the hallway while changing classes. I don't see Edward again either.

The lunch bell rings and I wait until everyone else has cleared the room to get up and go to the lunch room. It's crowded when I walk in. I finally find an empty table in the corner of the room to sit down at.

I don't eat the school lunch mainly because it's disgusting, but also because my foster parents never give me any money for lunch. They just assume that I can do without. Not that they cared if I was hungry or not anyway.

I hear footsteps coming my way. To my surprise its Edward and two tan skinned boys I don't recognize coming my way. The three boys sit at my table. Edward sat beside me and the other two across from us.

"Jacob and Seth, this is Bella. Bella, this is Jacob and Seth. She doesn't really talk much." Edward introduces us.

Jacob is a big guy. He's got muscles on muscles and looks like the kind of guy you would see on a wrestling show. Seth on the other hand is small and lanky with an innocent presence around him. He's got a giant grin spread across his face.

I glare at both of them. I feel uncomfortable. I've never had anyone sit with me at lunch before and I don't know what to do, or how to act.

I snap back to the present when I hear Tanya's high - pitched voice. I narrow my eyes at her as she approaches my table.

"Edward, what the hell are you doing sitting here with that thing?" She asked sounding annoyed.

Edward looked confused for a second. He turned to me, looking for an explanation as to what she was talking about, but I was staring at my hands in my lap. Here we go. Here's the end of line for any possibility of making a friend this year.

"I'm sorry Tanya, but what is this 'thing' you're talking about?" Edward asked confused.

"The Freak Bella Swan, of course. Surely you've heard the rumors about her. They're all true too. I mean just look at her, she's ugly and disgusting and smells. She looks like she got her clothes out of the garbage can and she doesn't even talk. Like seriously who doesn't talk?" Tanya rambled.

Edward turned to look at me, but I couldn't make myself look up at him. This is it. I told myself. Say goodbye to the only person that's ever been nice to you in at this school.

I heard Jacob and Seth shuffle out of their sets with their food. I looked up and expected to see Edward starting to leave, but instead I found him staring at me intently.

He turned back to Tanya and said, "I don't see or smell anything wrong with her. She seems nice to me. A hell of a lot nicer than you are actually. Why don't you go find someone else to bitch on for a while, Tanya?" What I heard shocked me. No one had ever stood up for me before, let alone stood up to Tanya for me.

I wasn't the only one shocked at Edward's little speech either. Tanya stood completely still and just glared at him. Edward, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed by his words and resumed eating. After a few more minutes of glaring, Tanya finally gave up and walked back to her table, not even noticing she had Seth and Jacob right behind her.

Ten minutes passed and Edward didn't say anything to me; he just sat and ate his food. The bell was about to ring and I knew I had to thank him for what he said. He stood up to go throw his trash away, but I grabbed his arm. He looked at me expectantly so I mouthed 'thank you'. He half - smiled. He started to walk to the garbage can, so I took this as my chance to leave. I didn't want to have to face him again.

The rest of my day was pretty uneventful. I didn't see Edward again which was a little disappointing, but Tanya didn't make any more snide comments to me for the rest of the day which was something new to me. Maybe having the hot new guy stand up for you in the cafeteria wasn't such a bad thing.

The bus ride to my house doesn't take long enough. I'm not ready to see them. I can live with being ignored and ridiculed by my peers, but I can't take what happens at home.

I get off the bus and walk to the front door. It's locked. Great, just what I needed. This only happens when Phil, my foster dad, thinks I did something wrong with his breakfast this morning. He thinks this is an appropriate punishment for accidentally making his coffee a little too hot or cold or some stupid shit like that. I walk around to the back of the house only to find the door back there is locked too.

Having no other option than to just wait outside until he or Renee, my foster mom, get home, I go sit down on the grass against the house.

I sighed. I guess it can't get much worse than this. But, the universe seemed to hate me too because as soon as that thought crossed my mind, it began to pour down rain. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though, this is Forks after all, the rainiest place in Washington.

I sit outside for three hours while I wait for someone to get home. When Renee finally gets home, I'm relieved. Maybe I can make it to my room without adding more bruises to my collection.

I wait about five minutes after I hear Renee walk in the house before I head in. She doesn't give any inclination that she hears me as I walk in. I try to hurry to my room before she notices me, but I don't make it.

"Where do you think you're going?" She inquired.

I stop and stare at her. She knows I won't talk back to her, so she just smirks.

"You know the drill," she continued, "chores before you go to your room, useless bitch."

I look down and try to rush to the laundry room hoping to avoid any more of Renee. She expects me to do everything around the house - laundry, dishes, cleaning, and cooking because I have to live with them. She sees foster kids as free labor. If I don't work, I don't eat, according to Renee, not that they feed me anyway.

Renee works at the only local day care in the middle of Forks. She changes jobs almost every year because she doesn't like to be bored with her life.

I do the laundry and I wait until Renee leaves the kitchen to start cooking supper. I look in the freezer only to find fish and some rotten looking hamburger meat. Fish again tonight. I sighed. I start cooking when I hear Phil's police cruiser pull up in the drive way.

Shit. He's off work early. He's going to kill me if his food and beer isn't ready when he walks in. Shit. Shit. Shit. He walks in and immediately seeks out his food. When he sees me still cooking it, he gets pissed. "Bella! Where the fuck is my food at? I've had a long day at work and all I ask for you to do is to cook me my damn food! Did you not learn your lesson this morning when you made me burn my tongue on my coffee?" He fumed.

I turned around so he knows I heard him. I point to the almost ready fish, but that does nothing to appease him. "Do you even know how to speak you worthless piece of shit?" He raises his hand up and smacks me across my face.

I just stand there and take it. I don't flinch or cry or even make a sound. I've learned the hard way that that only spurs him on more. "Stop being such a waste of space and get me my damn food."

I nod and turn back to the stove. I quickly put his and Renee's food on the table and scurry off to my room before I can get punished again. I know better than to make or get food for myself. I only get to eat dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays because that's when Phil works the late shift at the police station. Renee lets me eat then, and only then, as to avoid suspicion that might arise at school.

I wait until I hear Phil and Renee head to bed before I step out of my room to take a shower. I'm grateful that Renee decided to take pity on me and not lock me in my room tonight.

I quietly go to the bathroom and start the shower. I step in and immediately cringe at the freezing temperature. Great, no hot water again. I scrub myself swiftly and soon I'm out and drying off.

I see my face in the mirror. I gasp in shock as I see what my reflection has become. I'm eerily pale and so skinny that I look anorexic. My hair used to be thick and beautiful chestnut brown, but now, with the lack of constant nourishment to my body, it's too long and raggedy. But what surprises me the most, is the hand shaped mark on my right cheek. Shit, how am I supposed to cover that up for school tomorrow? Phil is normally very careful about where he leaves his marks on my body. He's always avoided my face during school time. Now I've got to find something to cover it up. Maybe I can steal some of Renee's cover up and pray that nobody feels like screwing with me tomorrow.

I sigh and head back to my room. I lay down and try to go to sleep. I dream about Edward Cullen. I let myself dare to imagine him becoming my friend. I know it's foolish to hope for something so ridiculous, but it's the only decent thing going for me right now. Gah, I'm so pathetic.

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! This is my first time on Fanfiction, so I don't really know much about it. This is my first story so please review and tell me what you think! Constructive criticism is welcome. I will probably update every Monday, unless otherwise stated. This chapter is more of a filler chapter. Not much goes on, but it does have info needed for the rest of the story. It is also shorter than normal, so depending on reviews, I might post the next chapter early. Every chapter I'm going to switch POVs between Edward and Bella so you know what is happening with each individual. I will not retell the same chapter just in a different point of view. See you at the bottom!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **Sometimes, I'm clueless and I'm clumsy, but I've got friends that love me. They know just where I stand. It's all a part of me and that's who I am." – Jessica Andrews**

Chapter 2

EPOV

August 2008

The only thing worse than the first day at a new school, is the second day. Everyone still stares at you like you're some shiny new toy they get to play with. At least I'm not the only new student here at Forks High. My two best friends Jacob Black and Seth Clearwater transferred here from La Push High the same time I did. I moved because my parents didn't want me to continue to be the only "pale face" at a school meant for the kids on the reservation. Jacob and Seth moved because they wanted to be a part of the kick – ass football team Forks High was going to have this season.

My first day wasn't bad. I met up with a couple guys from the football team in my classes. I tried to avoid all the stares I got from all the girls who I caught checking me out. I knew I was hot, although the gentleman inside of me, raised by my mother, wouldn't let me take advantage of it.

There was one girl in particular that stood out to me. Bella, the girl I nearly knocked to the ground when we first met and doesn't speak for some reason. Out of all the bimbos and fake girls in this school, she captured my interest.

As I walk into the school building, I see Jake and Seth and head over to them. I hadn't been able to talk to them much after the whole lunch fiasco yesterday.

"Hey dude, what's up?" Seth asked when I got to them.

"Nothing man. What'd you two think of the first day yesterday?" I inquired.

It was Jacob who answered me. "School is school wherever you go, but the chicks here are so much hotter than on the res. If I had known, I would've transferred months ago. Especially that chick Tanya Denali from lunch. She has some of the biggest tits I've ever seen man."

"That girl who was saying all that shit about Bella yesterday?" I asked.

"Bella? Who's Bella?" Seth replied.

"The girl we sat with at lunch yesterday, until you two little shitheads decided to ditch us for Tanya." I was still a little pissed at how Tanya described Bella. She talked like she wasn't even a human being. But what pissed me off more, was the fact that Bella just stood there and took it. She didn't even try to defend herself in any way.

"You mean the Freak? Yeah. Tanya told us all about her. She's the police chief's daughter and she doesn't have any friends. Tanya also said that we shouldn't stay around her unless we wanted to end up without any friends here." Jacob answered.

There was a minute of silence between us.

"Well, I think that bitch, Tanya, doesn't know anything. Bella seems like a cool chick to me." It was Seth who spoke up this time.

"She reminds me of Alice." I said quietly as my shoes all of a sudden become very interesting. Jacob and Seth remained quiet. They know I hardly ever talk about my little sister.

Alice was 14 years old when she died. She, along with her boyfriend, Jasper, died in a car accident coming home from one of my football games last year. I remember how quiet she was. I remember how much she loved Jasper as more than her big brother's best friend. I remember her constant excitement over anything and everything she did. I remember how badass Jasper was at football. I remember our first little league touchdown. I remember throwing the ball to him as hard as I could so he could catch it all the way down the field. I lost my baby sister and one of my best friends that awful night. It's been almost a year since the accident, but I still have trouble talking about them sometimes.

It was Seth that broke me out of my thoughts. "Yeah Tanya doesn't seem that nice… As soon as we followed her to her table, but you didn't, she told us to scram."

Jacob snorted. "You mean she told us to fuck off."

"Well, I didn't want to put it that bluntly, but yeah, she told us to fuck off, right after she practically begged us to go with her." Seth added

"She may be a bitch, but she's still the hottest bitch at this school." Jake replied, looking very smug.

I just grin and shake my head at their comments, completely forgetting any thoughts of Alice and Jasper. The bell rand and the three of us head to our separate classes.

As I get to Biology, I notice Bella isn't in her seat. I glance at the clock and note that it's already after 8:00. I don't get much time to think about where she could be though because Mrs. Wilson jumps right into teaching about chromosomes and a bunch of shit I don't care about.

Before I know it, I'm on my way to my next class. I go in and sit beside Emmett McCarty, our defensive lineman for the football team. He smiles and says, "What's up bro? You ready for the big game next Friday night?"

I grin. All Emmett knows how to talk about is football. He's a giant beast of a man and one kick – ass lineman. Yet, despite his size, Emmett would never hurt a fly, off the field of course. "Hell yes I'm ready!" I said as we fist bumped each other and sat down.

Emmett grinned just as the teacher started class. I never really liked math, so I just pretended to listen as Mr. Molina dragged on and on about logarithms.

 ****TCWT****

At lunch, Jake, Seth, and I sit at the same table as Bella and I did yesterday. Tanya doesn't come beg for us to sit with her again, of which I'm grateful for.

Jacob and Seth talk about the big game coming up while I'm thinking of Bella. Where is she? It's the second day of school, what could cause her to miss?

Lunch goes by fast and soon we are all headed to the only class we have together: gym. We head to the locker room to change then we go back upstairs to meet our gym teacher Coach Clapp, who also happens to be the football coach at Forks too.

"Alright students, since this semester is the same time as football season, I will be working with all my players during this class." I look around and notice that most of our team is in the gym along with a few other random students in between. "While I work with them, the rest of you are to run laps around the gym, and on the few days we go outside, around the track. Alright, let's get to it." Coach Clapp yelled. And so for the next two hours, we do some drills and conditioning.

 ****TCWT****

The rest of my classes and practice fly by and I leave school to head home. As I pull into my road, which is enclosed by a forest of trees, I see that my mom, Esme, and dad, Carlisle, cars' are home.

I walk inside and I am immediately assaulted by the smell of freshly baked cookies. I can't help the grin that spreads across my face when I see my mom in the kitchen. I walk all the way to the counter tops before she notices my presence. "Edward! You're home! I made you some cookies. How was your day? Are you making any new friends? How's the team looking? Are the players being nice to you? You didn't get hurt did you? You know how much it scares me when you play football." She let out all in one breath. I guess I know where Alice used to get her excitement and energy from.

"Ma, breathe. You're going to give yourself whiplash. School was fine, boring as hell, but fine. I have plenty of friends Mom." I rolled my eyes. "We look good. Practices are hard as shit, but when we make it to the playoffs, it will all be worth it. Don't worry about me getting hurt, Mom. If it happens, it happens, but I'm not going to quit playing. I love it and Dad loves it too, you know."

"I know, sweetheart. I just don't want my baby boy to leave me." She told me sadly. I knew she was thinking about Alice. She didn't want her only other child to end up dead.

I go in to hug her. "That's not going to happen. Don't worry yourself to death. I love you and thanks for the cookies. I've got a shit - ton of homework I have to do."

"Okay sweetie. I'll call you when dinner is ready. Oh, and watch your language!" Mom yelled as I was headed up the stairs.

"Sorry!" I yelled back as I entered my room. I pulled out my notebooks and started doing my homework. I take one look at it and know immediately that I don't understand any of this shit. I toss my stuff to the side and decide to go take a shower instead.

As soon as I step out of the shower, hear my mom at the door saying that dinner is ready. I go downstairs to the kitchen only to see my parents trying to suck each other's faces off. I clear my throat to alert them to my presence. They pull apart and look up at me unashamed. "Sorry son, we didn't hear you come in." My father says.

I don't say anything back. I just make a gagging noise and head to the table. We're having lasagna tonight. Yum. We eat together and talk about our day. We finish and I tell my parents goodnight and head back upstairs to my bedroom.

I try to take another look at my homework, but I know it's no use. I pull out my iPod nano and decide to just listen to some music and think for the rest of the night.

I think about football. I think about how much I know the team is counting on me for our first game. Especially since Forks High has never had a good football team. Now especially with Jacob, Seth, and I, Forks could possibly win a state championship in football. I think about my friends Jacob and Seth and how happy I was when they told me they wanted to go to Forks High with me for football. I was so relieved that I would have some familiar faces around school. I knew that having my best friends since kindergarten around was going to make everything better. I think about my sister, Alice. I think about how much I miss her and how much I would take the night she died back and put myself in the car instead of her. I think about Emmett and how much he's helped me feel like a part of the team. I think about Bella and wonder why she wasn't at school today. I wonder why she doesn't talk. Can she talk and she just chooses not to? I think about what Tanya said about her yesterday. I think and wonder about why she would say that kind of shit."

I finally fall asleep to the sound of Chopin and images of chestnut brown hair.

 ****TCWT****

The next day of school goes by and Bella still doesn't show up. I go about my day and try not to wonder where she is. I think about asking Emmett if he knew anything about her, but decided against it when I thought of Jacob and Seth's reaction when we talked about her. I still didn't understand why the whole school called her Freak.

Classes and practice go by and before I know it I find myself trying to figure out my homework again. I look down at the biology worksheet Mrs. Wilson and can't even understand the directions. I put it away and move on to math. Logarithms again. Great. I try to do a few problems, but I end quitting before I get through half of the page. Shit, this crap is hard. I run my hands through my hair and look at the playbook for football. Now, this I know like the back of my hand.

A little after midnight, I hear a soft knock on my door. "Come in" I whisper yell, not wanting to wake my mom up.

"What are you doing up so late, son?" My dad asked.

"I'm just studying our playbook for football. You know getting ready for the big game next week. What are you doing up so late?"

"I just got home for the hospital. There was a big wreck on the interstate today and they needed some extra hands. Don't stay up too late. Don't worry about the game, you'll be fine, you always are. Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight dad." I sighed. I put the playbook and rubbed my eyes. I yawned. I guess I was more tired than I originally thought. I fell asleep within minutes after putting my head on my pillow.

The rest of the week went by the same as first couple of days. I go to class, go to practice and then go home. The first week of school and I'm almost failing half my classes because I don't understand any of the garbage they teach us. Bella didn't show up for the rest of the week either. I decided that if she didn't show up by Wednesday, then I would ask Emmett if he knew anything.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Tell me what you think in a review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! Sorry for not posting this on Monday, but I had some computer problems. Any mistakes are mine.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"'** **Betcha on land, they understand, that they don't reprimand their daughters." – The Little Mermaid**

Chapter 3

BPOV

August 2008

I wake up the next morning gasping for air as I come out of my nightmare. It's the same one I have every night. I'm in a house and I'm trapped inside a room. I keep trying to get out. I try to yell for help, but nothing comes out of my mouth. My breathing becomes labored as I inhale smoke and carbon monoxide. I start to choke and my vision gets all blurry. As soon as I feel like I'm about to die, I wake up. I've had this nightmare for as long as I remember. I don't know what it's about or what it means. All I know is that it still scares the shit out of me every morning as I wake up.

I glance at the clock in my room. It's 5:30 am. I roll out of bed and check my door to see if it Renee had locked it while I slept last night. Thankfully, she didn't. I wait and listen for Phil and Renee's movements in their bedroom before I head downstairs to the kitchen to make their coffee. I try to be extra careful as I pour the coffee into their thermoses as to not spill any. I check several times to make sure that their coffee isn't too hot or too cold. I don't want to chance being locked outside in the rain again by Phil. I guess I should be grateful. Phil hasn't been punishing me as much as normal, lately.

At the thought of punishments, I quietly run up the stairs to the bathroom and look at my face. What I see doesn't surprise me. The hand shaped mark on my right cheek still looks as angry as it did last night. I know I need to wait until Renee leaves to try and get some of her makeup to cover up the angry looking bruise.

I go back to my room and wait until I hear Phil and Renee leave for work. Not ten minutes later, I hear the front door shut twice. I take this as my chance to go to Phil and Renee's bedroom. I look around Renee's dresser and I see some cover up. As I'm about to put some on, I hear a voice from behind me. "Well, well, well, look what I have here." Renee's snarls out.

I look up at her and I know that there's no way I can get out of this. Instead of attempting to show Renee that I was trying cover up the bruise on my face, I merely hand the cover up over to Renee and get myself ready for what's about to happen.

"Were you trying to make yourself look as pretty as me?" She asked.

I don't look up. I know where this is headed.

"It wouldn't work, you know. You're the ugliest piece of shit on this planet. No amount of makeup is going to change that sweetheart." I looked up and nodded at her, knowing that is what she was wanted. "But, since you were trying to steal from me, I have no other choice other than to call Phil and let him discipline you."

I flinched. She noticed.

She grins evilly. "He's going to be pissed that you're making him late for work to come punish you."

I wait nervously as Renee calls Phil. It takes all of five minutes for Phil to turn his car around from wherever he's at and come home. I hear the front door open and slam shut. I hear him stomp up the stairs to the bedroom. I don't try to escape. I don't try to somehow explain my actions. I just look down and wait for my punishment, too scared to be face to face with Phil.

"You ungrateful little bitch! Is it not enough for me to provide a roof over your head and clothes on your back and food on the table? You have to steal from my wife?" Phil roared. "I am going to show you what happens to ungrateful little bitches who steal." I brace myself for the blow, but it doesn't come. I look up to find both Phil and Renee smirking at me. Phil roughly grabs my chin and says "Keep your eyes open, so you can learn not to ever steal from us again, you waste of space."

I do as he says and watch as Phil's fist connects to my mouth. I instantly feel blood fill the inside of my mouth. Phil's boot comes up and collides with my chest next. The force of the kick knocks me to the ground. I don't try to get up, I know Phil would think of it as an act of defiance, so I stay knocked down. His boot connects to my chest again and, this time, I can hear my ribs cracking. It knocks the breath out of me. Phil continues to kick my sides and my legs until he's had his fill of hurting me. I feel the sting of tears in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

"There, maybe now you'll think twice about stealing from us again." He kicks me one last time to the mouth and I start to feel the blood trickle down my face. "That's for making me late for work! Oh, and clean the blood off of the floor. I want this to be spotless by the time I get back home, bitch."

He and Renee walk out the bedroom door and I hear them laughing as they head down the stairs and out the front door. I just lay on the ground, motionless, until I know for certain that they are both gone. I try to get up, but my aching body tells me that's not a good idea. I lay there for a few more minutes until I get the will to try and stand up again.

I slowly bring myself to my feet, every move that I make causes to pain shoot throughout every part of my body. I walk to the bathroom to inspect the damage Phil did to my body. I look at my face and notice that my mouth still has blood coming from it. I open it to make sure I don't have any loose or missing teeth. Thankfully, I don't. I spit out the blood that had accumulated in there. Next, I lift up my shirt, wincing as I do so. I notice that the skin is already starting to bruise. I try to take in a deep breath and immediately regret doing so. I double over in pain because when I inhale, my chest and sides feel like tiny needles are jabbing at me. It takes me a few minutes for me to calm down enough to realize that taking short breaths doesn't hurt as bad.

I look back up at the mirror. There is absolutely no way that I can go to school like this. I probably already missed the bus, not to mention that I still have a hand shaped bruise on my cheek. With that mindset, I head to the kitchen to find some ice for my ribs. Going down the stairs was really difficult and I can't imagine what it's going to be like going back up them.

I find some ice in the freezer and wrap a rag around it so I don't freeze to death when I put it on my ribs. I think about heading up to my room, but think better of it when I see the stairs. I know better than to sit in Phil's big chair, so I settle for lying on the couch that no one ever uses.

As soon as lie down, my body groans in protest. The pins and needles are back with fury. My head feels like someone bashed it in with a crowbar. My chest feels like it's going to burst from all the sudden movement. My stomach growls and I know I have to eat something, consequences be damned. The only way I will be able to heal my bruised ribs and body, is to get the nutrients I don't normally get. So, I get back up, very slowly and carefully, and head back to the kitchen.

I try to remember what day of the week it is and I realize its Tuesday. Shit. Renee didn't let me eat last night because Phil didn't work as late as normal. She sure as hell is not going to let me eat tonight after the whole makeup fiasco. I groan as I realize that there is no way I can make myself something to eat without causing Renee or Phil to become suspicious. I finally settle for a glass of water and go back to the couch to lie down. I doze off quickly.

I wake later to the constant sound of raindrops hitting the roof. I try to get up off the couch and barely succeed in doing so. My entire body feels like I got ran over by a pick-up truck.

I go into the kitchen and notice that it's almost time for Renee to get home. Shit. I forget about my pain momentarily as I rush to get the cleaning supplies for Renee and Phil's bedroom. I quickly hurry up the stairs, luckily without tripping, to the bedroom and begin getting the blood off of the hardwood floor. It doesn't take me long. I get up off the floor and immediately feel the pain in my chest start again, ten times worse than it was before. I start coughing and coughing until I feel the urge to throw up. I walk to the toilet as fast as my body can take me and I double over and puke. Whatever food or drink I had in my body from Sunday night is now in the toilet, along with a little blood.

I gasp at the sight of my blood and regret it instantly. My chest is on fire. I can't breathe. I can't move suddenly. I can barely think straight because of all the pain that is shooting through my body. I flush the toilet, not wanting the aroma of my puke to stain the air.

I hear the front door open and I know that I have to get out of here before Renee sees me. I push the pain aside and run across the house to my room as silently as I can. I hear footsteps on the stairs and I fling myself on my bed. My entire torso groans in pain as I quickly shift so I'm laying down away from the door. I hear my bedroom door open. Renee comes close to my bed and grabs my shoulders. She shakes me violently and says, "Wake up you lazy bitch! Don't think I don't know that you've been laying around on your lazy ass all day! Now get up and do your chores before I get Phil to come home early to teach you another lesson!"

I merely nod and get to my feet as fast as I possibly can. I go downstairs to start dinner and to do the rest of my chores. I note that the amount of food in the refrigerator is getting low. I don't know how to tell Renee that we need more food for me to cook with, without her thinking that I'm saying that I am not going to cook. I sigh and put that thought out of my mind. I don't want to anger her any more than I have today already.

I hurry as fast as I can to get through with my chores. I really don't want to run into Phil again tonight. My entire body aches with bruises and cuts. I fix fish again for supper tonight. I am putting it on the table right as Phil's cruiser pulls up. I go up the stairs to my room as quickly as I can before Phil walks in. I go to my room and stay in there until I know that Phil and Renee have gone to bed for the night. Slowly, I walk to my door and try to turn the lock. Shit. Renee locked me in here tonight. This is probably her punishing me again for the makeup incident.

I go back to my bed and look at my school work. I do my homework easily and in no time at all. Despite, my awful peers, I have always enjoyed the learning aspect of school. I have always been naturally smart, not having to try hard to get good grades. I fall asleep while reading the chapters in biology that I know I missed today.

I wake up the next morning gasping for just like every other morning and go to my door to see if it is unlocked. It is and I slowly walk down the stairs. My body feels like I got hit by an 18 – wheeler. Every move I make feels like someone is taking a hammer to every bone in my body. There is no way I can go to school like this. I can barely walk the 10 feet down the stairs, let alone walk to all of my classes for the next eight hours.

I make Phil and Renee's coffee quickly and efficiently and hurry to the bathroom before they get a chance to spot me. I look at my reflection in the mirror. The bruise on my face is still too prominent not to be noticed. I lift up my shirt to expect my chest and ribs. The left side of my chest is a sickly blue and purple color. I know I definitely cracked something in there. The cut on my lip is nominal, but if someone looked hard enough, it is still visible.

I hear the front door slam shut and I know that I am alone. I turn on the shower and I find that for the first time in weeks, there is hot water for me to have a decent shower. I climb in and I let the burning water take over my senses. It soothes my bruises and I let the hot water consume. I stay in the shower until the water runs cold. I step out and wrap a small towel around myself. I step out of the bathroom and go to my room. I put on my only pair of sweatpants and a t – shirt. I don't put on a bra because I don't own one. Lucky for me, my breasts aren't very big, so I can easily get away without anyone noticing I am braless.

I do my chores early and fix supper for Phil and Renee. I wait up in my room until Renee gets home. She calls for me and I go downstairs. She is eating her supper when I get down there. "You better hurry up and eat before Phil gets home."

I hurry and grab a plate. I put tiny portions of food on my plate, making sure Phil has enough to eat. My stomach lurches when I eat my first bite of food in three days. I eat in a hurry, so desperate for any amount of food. I ignore the protest my chest gives me as I eat. I don't even taste the food as I chew and swallow it. When I finish, I clean my plate and then I clean Renee's plate. I wash the dishes and scurry to my room before Phil gets home.

Thursday and Friday go by the same way. I stay at home because I know my body is not ready to go back to school. My chest feels like it is on fire with every breath I take, and evidence of the bruise on my face still lurks. I know that if I don't show up by Monday, the school will call Phil or Renee to ask about my whereabouts. Bruise or no bruise, I have to go back. I will just have to ignore the pain.

In my free time when Phil and Renee are at work, I do all the reading I need for my classes so I don't get behind. I don't have any trouble understanding the material.

In a way, I am grateful to have a reason not to go back to that hellhole. I don't have to put up with Tanya or any of her fake friends. I don't have to put up with the constant taunting from my peers. I don't have to put up with my incompetent peers as I sit in class. I can stay home and learn by myself. But, in the end, I would rather put up with the constant bullying than to have pain shoot up my body with every move I make.

 ****TCWT****

On Monday morning, I roll out of bed knowing the inevitable has come. I walk out of my bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen to fix coffee. Even though I have never tasted coffee, my stomach still grumbles at the smell of it. My body craves so many more nutrients than I am getting. My body reacts so strongly to the smell of anything edible.

I head back upstairs to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. The bruise on my face is still visible, but it no longer resembles a hand print. I lift up my shirt and look at my ribs. They are an ugly yellow – green color and they stick out more prominently than normal. It still feels like pins and needles with every sudden movement I take. It still hurts like hell to breathe too.

I finally look away from the mirror, too disgusted from my appearance to see myself any longer than necessary. I brush my teeth in a hurry.

I go back to my room to get dressed in the same pair of jeans I wore last Monday and a ratty old t – shirt. I put on my only jacket, which is worn out well past using, and go downstairs. I walk out the door and go to sit on the edge of the driveway while I wait on the bus. Phil and Renee are already gone by the time I get there.

I only have to wait about five minutes before I hear the roar of the engine coming down the street. I get on and sit in the first open seat I find. I sit quietly, ignoring the conversations of the kids around me. The jostle of the bus makes every involuntary movement I make, ten times more painful. I start to find it harder and harder to breathe until I finally see the school come into view. I get off the bus as quickly as I can and then I head to my first class. I go straight back to my seat and sit with my head down.

I don't look up when I hear the other students come in. I don't even look up when I hear Mrs. Wilson start talking. I don't want anyone to see my face and give me hell for it. I hear the door open and shut in the middle of the lecture. It's not until I hear the chair scraping across the floor that I register that someone was sitting next to me.

"Bella." It was Edward. I looked up immediately when I recognized the voice. I had completely forgot about him. As soon as I see his face scrunch up in confusion, I realize my mistake. I look down instantly. He saw the bruise. Damn, is he going to make fun of me now? When he calls my name again, I realize I couldn't be more wrong.

"Shit Bella. What happened? Are you okay?" He lifts my chin up so I have to look at him. I try to avoid his eyes, but he is pretty persistent.

"Bella, look at me." I slowly look up at his eyes. "Will you tell me what happened for you to get that bruise on your cheek?" I shake my head no. He sighs and lets go of my chin.

He gets out a sheet of paper and writes on it. _Does it hurt?_

 _No._ I write back. He doesn't get the chance to respond because Mrs. Wilson calls on him to answer a question.

"Mr. Cullen, would you care to answer the question?" She asked.

"Uh, can you repeat it?"

"I asked, how many chromosomes do humans have in their body cells?"

The look on his face was one of horror. He didn't know the answer. I quickly grab the paper we were writing on and wrote _46._ He looked down and his face visibly relaxes.

He looked back up at Mrs. Wilson and said "There are 46 chromosomes in each cell." She looked pleased with his answer.

"Very good Mr. Cullen, but in the future, please keep your eyes on the board." She retorted.

He sighed in relief. He grabbed the paper and wrote _Thanks, I owe_ _you_ on it and slid it back over to me.

I didn't get a chance to respond because the bell rang. We wordlessly walked to our next class side by side.

 ****TCWT****

Edward and his friends, Seth and Jacob, sat with me again at lunch. They talked about football while I just sat there. Edward, thankfully, didn't mention my bruise and neither did Jacob and Seth. At some point during lunch, Edward slid his lunch box over to me and said, "Are you hungry?" I shook my head, but my stomach betrayed me by growling at the mention of food. He laughed and pulled out a sandwich.

"Here, eat this. My mom always packs me too much food for me to eat by myself." I look up at him warily. I really want the food, but I don't want him to know how hungry I really am.

"Just take it. Seriously, it's not a big deal." He smiles when I carefully take the sandwich.

Why was he being so nice to me? I haven't done anything to him and I can't help but wonder if he is somehow going to make me make up for it later. I don't linger on that thought for long because I don't want to believe it.

I look at the sandwich and finally decide to take a bite out of it. Holy shit was this good. It felt like heaven in my mouth. I tried to eat slowly, but it tasted too good and I was so hungry. I gobbled down the entire sandwich in a matter of a few minutes.

I looked up to find Edward looking at me with a confused look on his face. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he wanted to.

Lunch ended and we all headed our separate ways to our classes. No one said anything about the bruise on my face. Tanya didn't so much as even look at me in any of the classes we shared. I guess Edward's little speech really made an impact on her.

 ****TCWT****

The rest of the week goes by the same as normal, except, Edward started to give me half of his lunch every day. He claimed it was because his mom always packed him too much food, but I knew better. I knew that he knew that something was up.

On Friday in biology, Edward and I were passing notes like we usually do when he writes: _Are you coming to the game tonight?_

 _No._ I write back.

 _Why not? It's the first game of the season and I really wanted you to come._

 _Why would you want me to come? I'm not important._ I write begrudgingly.

 _Don't say shit like that Bella. You're my friend and I want you to be there._

I look up at him. He thought of me as a friend? What could I possibly have to offer as a friend to this perfect boy?

 _We're friends?_ I write _._

He looked at me with a confused expression on his face. _Well, yeah I thought we were. I mean I want us to be. If that's okay with you._ He looked up and I saw a boyish grin on his face.

 _Yeah, I'd like to be friends_. I smiled as I wrote it.

He grinned and wrote back: _So, you'll be at the game tonight?_

 _No. I can't go. I'm sorry._ My smile faded.

He looked disappointed.

 _Are we still friends though?_ I write, preparing myself for disappointment.

 _Of course, Bella._ He wrote as the bell rang.

We walk to math together and take our separate ways once inside the classroom.

I start counting down the minutes until lunch when I know I'll be with him again. I've noticed that by doing this, school seems to go by quicker and it is easier to ignore those that taunt me.

Lunch comes and goes as usual. Edward practically begs me to help him eat his lunch even though we both know he could do it easily himself.

Over the past few days, I have noticed that my stomach isn't as flat anymore. I am, by no means, at a healthy weight, but I can notice that I look a little bit less like an anorexic.

Edward doesn't bring up the bruise on my face again. He also doesn't comment on how fast I eat my portion of his lunch. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a boy like Edward would be wasting his time on a pitiful excuse of a human being like me. He must really feel sorry for me and laugh about me behind my back or, dare I say, he might actually give a shit about me. I hope it's the latter of the two because I don't know what I would do if my only friend I ever had, turns out to be as fake as everyone else.

 ****TCWT****

The weekend scares me. Phil is off of work for the entire weekend which almost never happens. The thought of me having to be around him for nearly 48 hours without reprieve, frightens me and for good reason too. I remember one time when I was about eleven years old, Phil was drunk and watching a baseball game. When the game was over, he was pissed that his team lost, so Phil took his anger out on me. I was in my room at the time, doing schoolwork. Phil busted through my door and dragged me out of my room. He was really drunk and I couldn't understand anything he was saying. I didn't know what I did to anger him so much, but it seems Phil doesn't need a reason to hurt me. He didn't hit me or yell at me until we got to the edge of the stairs. He kept mumbling something about how everything that goes wrong in his life is because of me. I was terrified. I had never seen him so drunk before. At the top of the stairs, Phil gripped my forearms tightly and he turned me to face him.

"This is all your fault, bitch." He screamed. He then threw me down the stairs. I tumbled down the stairs just like a ball would. I hit the floor hard. My head slammed against the hardwood floor and I immediately blacked out.

I woke up in the hospital sometime later with a concussion, a broken leg, and many new bruises to add to my collection. Phil told the doctors that I was riding my bike and fell off and hit the ground. Problem was, I didn't own a bike. Questions arose and to get everyone off his back, Phil threw himself into his work. He told the doctor that I wouldn't be able to say what happened because I can't talk. That's the closest anyone has ever come to figuring out the truth.

Phil has had a only few weekends off since then, but he has never done enough damage for me to go to the hospital. So, Phil being off this weekend terrifies me.

I do my chores and try to stay out of his way the entire weekend, which, thankfully, works. The bruise on my face is almost completely gone now, but my breathing is still a little labored. Not eating at night doesn't hurt my body as much now because Edward gives me some of his lunch every day at school.

I keep counting down the minutes until I am sitting in class Monday morning with Edward. It is the only thing that is keeping me going nowadays. It's funny how his small acts of kindness have nearly turned my life around. It is the only thing I have to look forward to.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Leave me a review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! You guys are the best! All mistakes are mine. Sorry this update is late. It's a short too, but a lot happens. See you at the bottom!**

 **I don't own anything.**

 **"** **I can't read your mind like a billboard sign and tell you anything you wanna hear, but I'll be your hero." – Sterling Knight**

Chapter 4

EPOV

August 2008

Even though Bella said she wasn't going to come to the game tonight, I still couldn't help but look for her in the stands as we ran out on the field. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed when I couldn't find her. We had been passing notes nonstop in biology all week. We talk about everything but at the same time, nothing at all. We talk about biology, football, school, everything except personal stuff.

Emmett snapped his fingers to get my attention. "Alright guys. Tonight is the night that we can show everyone what we know how to do. This is the night that we make the town proud of us. This is the night that we have been training for, for the past two months. Tonight is the night we've been waiting for. Tonight is our night."

We all yell in agreement and take our positions on the field.

The game goes by quickly. We are up the entire game. We end up winning 54 to 14. In honor of our win, the whole team goes to the local diner to celebrate. A lot of parents and students go to the diner as well to support the team. Our food had just arrived when Emmett banged on the table to get everyone's attention.

"I want to thank everyone to coming out tonight and showing support for your Spartans. It really means a lot to know that we have the town behind us this season. I also want to thank a couple newbies for their hard work out on the field tonight." Emmett looked over to where Seth, Jacob and I sat. "You three did great out their tonight. We really couldn't have done it without you guys."

"We're going to have a hell of a season boys!" Jacob yelled. This was followed by some cheers from the rest of the guys and a few cat calls from the cheerleaders.

We spent the better part of the night celebrating. It wasn't until my mom called me that I realized how late it was. I headed out the door of the diner to go home when I felt a small hand on my chest. I look up to see Tanya in the skimpiest little cheerleading outfit I've ever seen.

"Where do you think you're going handsome?" She slurred out.

Great. She's drunk off her ass.

"I'm going home, Tanya, which is what you need to do before you do something you're going to regret." I started to walk to my car, but she wouldn't take the hint.

"Why don't you like me Edward? I'm attractive. I'm funny. I'm popular. Everybody likes me! Why can't you?"

I sigh and say, "Look Tanya, I'm sure you're a great girl and all, but – "

"Oh, don't give me that crap. It's because of the Freak isn't it? I knew from the first day at lunch that you had a thing for her. I just hope you know what you're doing. I've heard some shit about her and her foster parents."

I stopped, shocked from what I heard. "What do you mean foster parents? I though her dad was the police chief?"

"Her _foster_ dad is. Her real dad and mom left her for dead when she was little." She grinned wickedly. "I guess even as a kid, her parents knew that she was a freak."

"What the fuck did you just say?"

She smiled and walked away saying, "When you're done with your little charity case, give me a call."

I was fuming all the way home. Was what Tanya said true? Did Bella's parents leave her to die? Was she really a foster kid? Did the whole town know about it?

I didn't even realize that I was parked in my driveway until my mom came out.

"What are you doing out here, sweetie?"

I looked up and just shook my head, not wanting to tell my mom what I had just heard. "Sorry I'm home so late. I lost track of time. I'm really tired, mom, I think I'm just going to go straight to bed. I love you."

"Okay Edward. You played well tonight. I love you too."

 ****TCWT****

Monday morning came too quickly. I was anxious to see Bella again, but I did not want to go to class, especially biology. We have our first test in here today and I could not be any less prepared.

Mrs. Wilson handed us our test. I looked at the first question and knew I was going to flunk it. I did my best to figure out some of the questions, but I struggled quite a bit. I looked around the room to see if anybody else looked as confused as I was, but I couldn't tell. I did happen to see that Bella was already finished with her test. I looked at her and she just shrugged and smiled.

The bell rang then and I looked at my test. I didn't even have answers down for any questions on the last page. Shit, coach is going to kill me when he hears about this. I, begrudgingly, handed in my test and quickly walked to my next class with Bella. We walked in together and before she went to the back of the classroom to her normal seat, I grabbed her arm.

"I need to talk to you about something at lunch okay?"

She nodded and went to her seat. I am going to ask her if what Tanya said was true.

My next few classes went by in a blur and before I knew it, I was sitting next to Bella at lunch. I started to ask her if she was a foster kid when I heard Jacob and Seth approach. If she really was a foster kid, I doubt she would want people knowing about it, if they didn't already. She looked at me with a confused expression on her face. I just shake my head and said never mind.

I hand her the extra sandwich and apple from my lunch. I can't believe that something so tiny could eat that so fast. I really want to ask her about it, but I think better of it.

Over the past few days at lunch, I've noticed something change in Bella. She smiles more often than she did on the first day of school. She doesn't look at the floor when Jacob, Seth and I talk about football; she looks at us, mildly intrigued. She has more color in her face. Her bruise is almost gone too. I really wish she would tell me the story behind it, but she won't budge and I don't want to push her. She seems happy and I don't want that to go away.

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch and my time with Bella for the day.

 ****TCWT****

I walk in to biology the next day with my head down. I'm terrified of getting my test back. I know that if I don't at least make a C, then coach will bench me until I can get it up. I go to my seat and smile when I see that Bella is already sitting down. Before class even starts, I get out a piece of paper and write: _How do you think you did on the test?_

 _Good. You?_

 _Awful. I know I flunked it. This shit is not what I'm good at._

 _Oh yeah, I heard you won the big game last Friday._

 _Yeah, we played well. I wish you could've been there to see me play though._ I smile sadly at her.

She looks away. _I'm sorry._

 _You can make it up by coming to my next one please?_ I smile hopefully.

 _I can't Edward, I'm really sorry._

And with that, Mrs. Wilson started to hand back our tests to us. I look at mine. 64. Shit, coach is going to freak when he hears about this. I look over at Bella to see how she did, but her test was already shoved away. Sheesh. Maybe she didn't do as well as she thought she did.

Class goes by fast. Bella and I start to pick up our stuff to go to our next class when Mrs. Wilson stops us. "Ms. Swan and Mr. Cullen please wait a moment."

Bella and I both halt in our steps. I look at Bella questioningly only to find her staring at the ground. I look back up to Mrs. Wilson.

"Don't worry Ms. Swan, you've done nothing wrong. It is quite the contrary actually." She looks over to me. "You, on the other hand, Mr. Cullen are failing my class. I do believe that Coach Clapp has no tolerance for failing." I stare at her unbelievingly as she continued. "I will not use any special treatment on you and ignore your past test because you are on the football team. I will, however, arrange for you to have a tutor. This is where you come in Ms. Swan. You've always been a phenomenal student. I hope by having you tutor Mr. Cullen here, you will rub off on him. Mr. Cullen you have one month to get your grade up in my class. I will inform Coach Clapp about your tutor and your effort to bring your grade up to try and soften the blow for you Edward." She says softly. "I don't want you to be sitting on the sidelines during games because of one class. I really do want the best for the football team this year and I know you are a key in doing that. Get your grades up."

Bella looks at her with a look of horror on her face. She grabs a piece of paper to write down what she would say and hands it to Mrs. Wilson.

"Don't worry, Bella. I will send a note home with you tomorrow after class to explain the situation to your parents. I am sure they won't have a problem with it. I'll send one home with you as well Edward." The bell rings then signaling that we are late for our next class. "Oh shoot. Here's a pass to your next class. Go on now."

I took the pass from her and started walking to math.

"Stupid teacher. Thinks she fucking knows everything. Making me get a fucking tutor." I mumbled. I hand the pass to Mr. Molina and walk to my seat, completely forgetting about Bella.

 ****TCWT****

Bella doesn't look at me when I sit next to her at lunch. She doesn't glance at me when I slide the food over to her. She just stares at the ground. Shit, what's wrong with her? I wait until Jacob and Seth leave when the bell rings to ask her what's wrong. She still doesn't look at me, instead she grabs the trash from the food and stands up. I try to grab her elbow to get her attention, but as soon as I make contact with her, she recoils as if I slapped her. She finally looks up to me with terror written all over her features. Was she scared of me all of a sudden? What did I do? I try to talk to her once more.

"Bella, hey, look at me. What's wrong? Why aren't you acting like you?" She doesn't answer. She just looks at me and shakes her head. "Bella, I can't fix it if you won't tell me what's wrong in the first place. She shakes her head once more and moves to get up to get to class.

What the hell just happened there?

The rest of school passes by in a blur. I go through the motions of class and practice because all I can think about is Bella. Why was she upset? Why did she look so scared of me? What did I do? How can I fix it? It is not until I get home that I realize the time. I find myself parked at my house just staring into the woods. I walk inside and find my mom searching for something in the kitchen. I walk to her and she finally notices me.

"Edward! I am so happy your home! Will you do me an enormous favor?" I nod my head, finally shaken out of my thoughts. "Great! Will you run to the store and pick me up some cinnamon for the pie I'm making for dessert tonight? Thank you so much, sweetie!"

I head to my car, once more, and head to the store. On my way there, it starts to pour down rain. I pull in and park in the first spot I see available and run inside to try to get a little less wet. I start to hunt for the cinnamon when I round the corner and see the one person that has occupied my thoughts since lunch.

 **"** Bella!"

She turns towards me, a small smile on her face. She gives me a small wave and turns back to what she was doing. I walk over towards her.

"Bella, wait up. I want to talk to you." She doesn't look at me. "Hey, what happened today at lunch?" Still, not even a glance in my direction. "Bella, please, tell me what I did or what to do." She still doesn't look at me. "Bella, please look at me."

She finally looks up to me and shakes her head. She walks away from me. As she goes, I take in what she is wearing. She has on some very well – worn pair of jeans that look a couple sizes too big for her. She has on a t – shirt that says "I love rock – 'n – roll" on it and a thin looking jacket that is not suitable for the weather outside. I see her walk to the cash register, pay for her food, and then walk out the door.

I finally snap out of it and go back to finding the cinnamon. It takes me about five minutes to locate it, pay for it, and then head back out to the pouring rain to my car. I turn it on and get on the road to head home. Not a mile down the road, I see someone walking down the side of the road in the pouring rain with their hands full of groceries. I slow down as to not hit the person when I notice that it is Bella.

What the fuck? Why is she walking? Where the hell does she think she's going with those groceries in the fucking rain?

I slow down even further, so that we are going the same place. I roll my window down. She turns towards the car and gasps when she notices that it is me.

"Bella, get in the car." She shakes her head. "Bella don't be fucking stupid. Get in the damn car!" She drops her head down and starts to walk again.

I can't fucking believe it. She won't let me give her a ride. I move the car up a little bit past where she is and pull off the side of the road. I put the car in park and get out of the car. I walk over to her – getting fucking drenched as I do so – and look at her, our bodies only inches apart.

"Bella get in the car. Let me take you wherever you are going please. You're going to get a fucking cold if you walk!" She looks up at me and nods her head in defeat. "Thank you. Now come on. You're soaking wet."

I take the groceries from her and go put them in the backseat of my Volvo. She follows me to my car. I open the passenger side door and usher her inside. I hurry over to the driver side and get back on the road.

I ask her where she needs to go and she looks over to me and mouths _home_. Because I didn't know where that was, I looked to her and said, "How do I get there?" She then proceeded to make signals when turns were required. When she pointed to the small white house on the corner of the street, I pulled in right beside the police cruiser that was in the driveway.

I looked over to her. She was nervously glancing at all windows of the house like she was trying to make sure we were not being seen. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. I started to make my way out to help her with the groceries when she put a hand up.

"What? I can't help you put all these groceries inside?" She shakes her head. I don't try to conceal my disappointment.

"Can I do anything to help you?"

She shakes her head no. She mouths _thank you_ and puts a sad smile on her face. I watch her as she goes inside without so much as a glance back in my direction.

 ****TCWT****

She doesn't write me back the next day in biology. She doesn't walk beside me on our way to math. She doesn't look at me at lunch. She barely eats the food I slide over to her. She completely ignores me and any efforts I make to talk to her. I don't try to touch her again, in fear of what might happen.

It is not until the end of practice that I decide I need to figure out what is happening with her. The only thing I can think of to do is to go to her house and talk to her. So, I change out of my football gear and head over to Bella's house, not knowing what I would or wouldn't find there.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Any guesses to why Bella is upset? Review and tell me what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! Some of your guesses as to why Bella is upset are very close! Sorry for having this up so late. I had exams all week that I really needed to study for and I didn't have time to write. Hope ya'll like this chapter! All mistakes are mine.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **I start walkin' your way. You start walkin' mine. We meet in the middle 'neath that old Georgia pine. We gain a lot of ground 'cause we both give a little. Ain't no road too long when we meet in the middle." – Diamond Rio**

Chapter 5

BPOV

August 2008

I am in my room doing homework when Renee calls me downstairs. I get out of my room and slowly walk to the stairs. Even though it's been almost two weeks since the makeup incident, my chest and ribs still hurt when I move too fast.

I get to the top of the stairs and look down and notice Edward standing in the doorway. Our eyes meet instantly. I gasp, completely shocked from seeing him and from the intensity of is gaze. I walk down the stairs, my eyes never leaving Edward's. Once I make it to both of them, I chance a glance at Renee. I immediately regret it. Renee is staring at me with an expression I can't decipher. She doesn't look angry, but she also doesn't look exactly happy from Edward's little appearance. While I am looking at Renee, I notice Edward is staring at me. Renee is looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Who are you, boy? What do you want with that thing?" Renee spits out and glances at me.

"My name is Edward Cullen. I am here to check up on _Bella_. I am also need talk to her about a time and place when Bella can tutor me in biology."

"Tutor? Hah! That's great. Bella is not a tutor, she's not even smart. I've met cows smarter than her. That's great kid, I needed a good laugh. Besides, even if she were even somewhat intelligent, she doesn't speak so how the hell did you intend on learning?"

"I'm sure we can figure something out."

Renee looked at me with an amused expression on her face.

"Too bad boy, she isn't going to tutor you." Renee turns to walk away.

I cast my eyes downward. I know I am about to lose him. My one and only friend I have ever had. I knew this would happen. I knew Renee and Phil would never allow me to tutor him. I knew this would happen sooner or later, so I have been avoiding him in an attempt to keep our friendship for as long as possible. I look back up to him knowing that this moment – the end of our friendship – was inevitable.

Edward's stared at Renee with a slight smirk on his face. "Ma'am, technically she has to. We both have a signed form from our teacher, Mrs. Wilson, saying that she has to be the one to help me." He pulls out the note from Mrs. Wilson and handed it to Renee. She glances at it while Edward continues.

"You see I am on the football team and I have to pass biology to be able to play. You know we are going to win state this year right, ma'am? If we win state, then that means more publicity for the town which means news reporters will be here. I think we can all agree that a face as beautiful as yours belongs on television."

I stared at Edward, completely flabbergasted at his speech. He's trying to charm Renee into getting me to tutor him.

Renee looked at Edward, almost bashful. "You know what boy, you have a point here. With my body and good looks, I really do need to be on television. It's about damn time somebody else realizes it too."

"Yes ma'am, you do. The only way that can happen is if Bella here, can tutor me."

Renee thought about it for a minute then said, "Alright, she can tutor you, but only if it doesn't screw up her chores and duties at home."

I couldn't believe it. Edward had just gotten Renee to agree! I can still have my friend! I could feel a huge grin spread across my face. Edward was looking at me and when I smiled, and his entire face lit up.

"Thank you so much, ma'am. I was thinking maybe Bella and I could discuss the time and place tomorrow during class? I need to get home to my parents right now."

Renee agreed and Edward walked out the door, but not before smiling at me. "See you tomorrow, Bella."

As soon as Edward was in his car, she turned to me. "You better not fuck this up. I need to be on television. Don't let this tutoring thing affect your chores either. Do as you are told and don't let Edward fail biology. The world needs this face where everyone can see it." She walked up the stairs.

Despite Renee's threats, I couldn't help but let an enormous grin consume me. I suddenly couldn't wait for biology tomorrow.

I start to work on dinner and do my chores. I work nonstop until Phil gets home. He doesn't say anything to me as I give him his food and beer. I go up to my room and wait for morning to come.

 ****TCWT****

I can't help the smile on face when I see Edward walk into biology. His eyes immediately seek out mine. He walks over to his seat beside mine and pulls out a sheet of paper.

 _That's why you avoided me, right? You didn't think you could tutor me?_

I was certainly not expecting that. I nod my head and write him back, my smile fading. _I thought you would think that I didn't want to be with you. I thought you might think I didn't want to tutor you. I thought you would hate me for it. I thought you wouldn't want to be my friend if I didn't tutor you._

Edward looked at me, shocked by my explanation. _I could never hate you, Bella. I wish you would've just told me instead of avoiding me._

I cast my eyes to the ground. He continued to write.

 _I thought maybe I had done something wrong._

I shake my head vigorously. _No you didn't, Edward. I promise._

He smirks. _So, when do you want to tutor me?_

I thought about it for a minute. It can't be anytime when Phil and Renee are off of work. I still have to be at home early enough in the morning to fix their coffee. I need to be at home at least an hour before they get off work in the afternoon. This does not leave us much time. There is no way I can have Edward come over when Phil is home. Renee may still be dazzled from their conversation yesterday, but I don't know how long it will last and I don't want to take any chances.

 _When can you be tutored? I mean you have football practice after school. I can't do it after school or during school…_

 _So, I guess that leaves us with before school, huh?_

 _Are you sure? I mean I don't want you to wake up earlier than you have to._

 _Don't worry about it. I gotta pass right? So, do you want to meet at the school around 7:00 then?_

Shit I didn't think this through very well. _I can't. My bus doesn't drop me off until about 7:45. I guess I could walk, but I don't know how long it would take me._

 _Don't walk. Don't worry about the bus. I'll come and pick you up from you house._

I looked at him, surprise written all over my face. Why is he doing that? Why would someone like him be so kind to someone like me?

 _What? Do you not want me to pick you up?_

 _No, no it's not that. I just don't understand why you would go to all that trouble for me… I'm not special. I'm a nobody. I am not worth it._

 _Bella, don't say shit like that. You are worth it. Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but kind to me. You've helped me out in class. You let me crash your lunch table. You talk to me for me, not for my football skills. You like me – at least I hope you do – for me, not for the guy the town is counting on to lead football to a state championship this year._

He paused for a moment and then continued to write _. You remind me of someone I used to know… someone I loved more than anyone in the world. When I am around you, sometimes I feel like I did when I was with her._

I don't know what to say to that, so we just stare at each other. The bell rings and we are broken out of our gaze to head to our next class.

At lunch, Edward hands me a to – go container from the only diner in Forks and another small container with a cinnamon roll in it. I look up at him wondering what the special occasion is for the food.

He grinned and said. "My mom forgot to pack my lunch this morning, so she stopped by the diner and dropped this off for me in my last class. I texted her and told her to get two of whatever she got. I hope you like cheeseburgers, Bella."

Cheeseburgers? I can't think of the last time I had a cheeseburger. I grin at Edward and nod, diving into the burger. It is _delicious._ I moan in appreciation. Edward looks at me and grins. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks in embarrassment.

We eat in a comfortable silence until the bell rings. As we get up to go to our next class, Edward tugs on my elbow. I try to hold back the involuntary flinch, but Edward still notices. His eyes sadden and he pulls his hand away.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at your house around 6:30, okay? Oh, and don't forget to tell your foster mom about when and where you'll be tutoring me."

My steps falter. How does Edward know Renee is my foster mom? Shit, shit, shit. How did he find out? I didn't think he knew about it… What is he going to do now that he knows? Will he make fun of me for it? I don't think he will, but I can't know for sure.

Edward notices that I stopped walking and glances back at me. "Bella, it is okay. She already agreed to let you help me as long as she knew about it. You can relax." I nod my head, not wanting to linger on the bad thoughts racing through my mind.

If Edward knew that I was a foster kid and he hasn't done anything by now, he won't do anything at all. Or at least I hope so. He could be waiting to embarrass me in front of the school. He could be using me to tutor him and pretend to be my friend. This way he could find out all my secrets and then exploit them all to the school later when he is done with me.

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop Bella. Don't worry about anything. Leave it all to me. Promise me you that you'll stop thinking about whatever you were just thinking about." His hand reached up to my face and I cupped my cheek affectionately. I couldn't hold back my flinch, but Edward acted like he didn't notice. "You looked like someone just kicked your puppy, Bella. I don't want you to look like that again." He smiles sadly, his eyes gaze into mine but I can tell his mind is far from here. "I have to go to class now. I'll see you tomorrow bright and early, okay?"

I nod and we go our separate ways.

 ****TCWT****

Phil is angry when Renee tells him that I am tutoring Edward. Every word he says causes me to flinch.

"What the hell do you think you are going to accomplish by tutoring this kid? You are not smart. Why would he even _want_ you to tutor him? You are a complete waste of space and time." He stalks over to me, raising my fist. I close my eyes and wait for the blow.

Surprisingly, Renee steps in. "Phil, don't hit her. She has to tutor that boy for football. He promised me I would be on TV when they won the state championship. I have to be on TV, baby. You know how that has always been my dream."

Phil lowers his fist and murmurs something unintelligent under his breath.

"If she is the only way for that to happen, then she has to tutor him. Why he wants _her_ to do it, is beyond me. But, I couldn't give a flying fuck how he gets tutored, as long as I get on TV!" Renee looks like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way. I half expect her to cross her arms and start stomping her feet.

"Please, baby. I really want to be on TV. Let the bitch tutor the boy."

"Anything for you, baby." He walks over to her and kisses her forehead then turns back to me. He grabs me by my shoulders and hoists me up so I am eye to eye with him. "Don't fuck this up. If my girl, over here, doesn't get on TV, I will hold you personally responsible." He drops my shoulders and I fall to the ground.

On one hand I am overly ecstatic to be spending time with Edward, but on the other, I am terrified for what might happen if Edward and his team do not win state this year. I know Phil's threats are not empty. I know he will hurt me if Renee doesn't get on TV, but how far will he go to hurt me? He has only ever put me in the hospital once from a punishments. I also think about how much better Edward is than me. He can do so much better than to be hanging out with the Freak, even if it is just for tutoring. I know I am not good enough to be his friend, I just wonder when he is going to realize it. It is going to hurt me so bad when he does. My body is so much healthier now because of him bringing me his lunch. I have something to look forward too now. People, meaning Tanya, leave me alone during school for the most part. I don't want to go back to going through the motions of life again. I just hope Edward is being truthful when he says he really wants to be my friend.

 ****TCWT****

Edward picks me up exactly at 6:30 the next morning. I walk out the door and head to his silver Volvo. He gets out of his car and gets to the passenger side before I do. He opens the door and says, "Good morning, Bella."

I wave at him, a small smile on my face.

"I was thinking we could go to the library and study." I nod my head and we pull out on the street.

A comfortable silence falls between until we get to the school. When we get there, there are almost no other cars in the parking lot. Edward, once again, opens the door for me as I get out of his car. He glances at my shoulders for a brief second. I look down to see what drew his attention and notice the finger shaped bruises that go around both shoulders that Phil gave me when he grabbed me last night. I quickly shrug my sad excuse for a jacket on, immediately regretting the short sleeve shirt I am wearing. I look back up to Edward to find him staring at me with a frown on his face. Thankfully, he doesn't say anything.

We walk up to the library and sit at one of the tables in the back. The librarian eyes us carefully then turns back to her computer. We both pull out our books and Edward gets out a piece of paper and hands it to me.

"It's for you to write on and tell me stuff."

I nod and write: _What exactly do you not understand?_

"Everything. It is all just so confusing and none of it makes sense."

 _Okay, we'll start at the beginning of chapter 1 and go from there then. I'll try to explain to you how I get it and we'll see how that works._

For the next hour, we work through the entire chapter with me explaining to him how I understand everything. I show him simpler ways to understand some of the harder concepts we have gone over. He seems to understand most of it by the time we leave the library to head to Biology. When Mrs. Wilson starts the lecture, I see Edwards eyes light up in recognition at what she says. I can tell he feels proud of himself by the way he keeps smiling at some of the lecture terms and concepts.

It is not until lunch that Edward actually proves my theory, though.

"A lot of the stuff sounds so much clearer, Bella thank you." I grin and nod my head, happy that I can finally do something for him for a change. "I will, however, need your assistance for the rest of the class. The way Mrs. Wilson explains everything just confuses me, but the way you explained it made everything so much clearer. I am going to actually try and attempt the homework tonight. Can you help me again on Monday at the same time?"

I nod my head, eager to spend more time with him.

"Hey Bella, are you going to come to the game tonight?"

I looked up to find Seth looking at me curiously.

"Yeah, are you coming? I know Edward here looked everywhere for you last week, but never found you." Jacob asked me, a slight smirk on his face.

I look to Edward to find him staring at me intently. I drop my gaze and look down at my ratty old tennis shoes. I shake my head.

"Aw that's okay, Bella. You'll come to the next one for us right? We know old Eddie boy here would love for you to be there."

I look to Jacob, who was still smirking. Did Edward really want me there? Or is this just some kind of joke between them? I look up at Edward to find him still staring at me.

"Alright, alright, guys that's enough. Let's not ambush her. If she can't come, she can't come. I get it, Bella, it is okay." His eyes never left my own. He seems so sincere. He acts like he really cares about me. I know it's just an act, but part of me still can't help but wonder if he is really does want to be my friend.

Edward is still staring at me. "Guys, can you give me a moment alone with Bella?" They both give him a confused nod and then leave. He turns to face me and says, "What did I say about that look? Bella, you're killing me here. Tell me what you are thinking about, please. You look so sad and I don't like it. Why are you sad? Was it something I said? Was it something they said?" I quickly shake my head. "Then what is it, Bella? I can't make you happy if you don't tell me what is making you so sad." He reaches up to cup my cheek. I flinch. I look away from his gaze, but he doesn't let go of my cheek.

"Bella, please."

I look back up at him and shake my head. _I'm sorry_ , I mouth. I stand and leave him in the cafeteria as I go to my next class.

 ****TCWT****

A few weeks go by and I grow close Edward. I have let myself get closer to him than I have to anyone ever before. He is perfect in so many ways. He makes me feel like I am a human being. He makes me feel alive. He is quickly becoming my best friend. Even though I have never had a best friend before, I know that he is the best friend anyone could ever ask for. He doesn't push me to actually talk to him, and yet he treats me the same as he does Jacob and Seth.

He hasn't brought up anything about me being a foster child, yet. A part of me thinks that he doesn't care that I am. The other part of me thinks he is just waiting for his opportunity to make fun of me for it.

He hasn't pushed me to go to anymore football games either. He still invites me to go every Friday night, but never says anything about me never going.

I keep waiting for the moment when he realizes how much better he is than me. I pray that that moment never comes. I hope Edward really is exactly who he is acting like. I don't think I could stand it if he isn't.

I still tutor him every school day in the morning. Despite what he thinks, he doesn't need my help anymore. He knows how to figure out the questions and problems on his own. Yet, he still insists on me helping him every morning. I want to believe it is because he just wants to spend the time with me, but I know better than to let myself hope like that.

Renee and Phil have been off my back lately. I don't know whether it's because the football team has been winning every game, which is bringing Renee closer to her being on TV, or because I just haven't done anything to upset them in a while. I am hoping that it is the former instead of the latter.

It is Friday today and I can't help but want to do something for Edward. I want to show him that our friendship isn't one – sided. He is always doing stuff for me – bringing me lunch, picking me up from school, being kind to me when no one else will – I want to do something for him. Even if he is just toying with me, he has been by far the nicest person I have ever met. He hasn't done anything to make me think that he is toying with me, though. He has been perfect. Perfect gentleman, perfect friend, perfect person and I want to show him how much his friendship means to me. All I need to do is figure out what I can do.

 ****TCWT****

"So, Bella you gonna come to our game tonight?"

I am about to shake my head no like normal, when I really think about it. This is it. This is how I can show Edward. I can do the one thing he has asked of me since the first week of school. I don't know how I am going to get past Renee and Phil, but I will go to the football game tonight. My mind is made up.

I look to Edward, who is only half paying attention to Jacob's question. I nod my head yes and watch Jacob's expression turn to shock.

"Really Bella? You're coming? That's so awesome!"

Edward's head snapped up. "What? You're coming? Seriously?" I nodded my head and smiled at his excitement. "Bella that's great!" He stands up and puts his arms around me in a hug. I tense under his arms, but his hold on me doesn't falter. "You don't know how much you coming means to me, Bella." I relax under his arms and slowly put my arms around him to hug him back. Everything feels right when he is holding me. I don't worry about how I am going to get to the game. I don't think about anything. All I can do is feel his arms around me and let everything else disappear. "I'll find you after the game is finished, okay? Don't leave until I do, please." I nod as best as I can with my head still crushed against his chest.

 ****TCWT****

It is 7:00 and the game starts at 7:30. The only way I am going to be able to get to Edward's game, is if I sneak out through the window in my room. There is a tree right beside the window and if I can manage not to be my clumsy self, I should be able to climb up and down it without being noticed. The only problem is Renee. She has the key to my room. She already locked me in for tonight, but if for someone reason she decides to unlock it and peek in to find I am not here, I am toast. She would literally have Phil beat me to death if they find out I am gone.

I think about the consequences for a minute. Renee has never come into my room after she locks it. What are the chances that she comes into night of all nights? She doesn't care enough to check up on me. I did all my chores and both Phil and Renee have been in really good moods lately. What are the odds that I would get caught if I went? Is Edward even worth it?

 **A/N: So, what did ya'll think? Was it worth the wait? Do you think Bella will sneak out to see Edward? Will she get caught if she does? Leave me a review and tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you to all of those who reviewed/favorited/followed! Over 1,000 hits! Thank ya'll so much! All questions about Bella and her past will be revealed in later chapters. All mistakes are mine. Hope you enjoy this chapter! This is a very important one!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her. And you don't know why, but you're dying to try, you wanna kiss the girl." – The Little Mermaid**

Chapter 6

EPOV

September 2008

The only thing I can focus on is the fact that Bella is going to be at my game tonight. I am completely distracted all through pre – game and the whole team can tell. All I can do is think about the fact that the girl who has become such a lifesaver to me, is actually coming to watch me play the game I love tonight.

"Bro, what is going on with you man? You've been stuck inside a day dream for the past two hours! Get it together before coach sees you off in la – la land." I look to Emmett, ready to defend myself when Jacob beats me to it.

"Cut him some slack, Em. He's got a girl coming to see him play tonight."

Emmett smirks. "What girl are we talking about here? Someone I know?"

"Bella Swan." I answer before Jacob gets the chance to.

"Bella Swan? The little girl that people call the Freak?"

"Yeah, Bella is coming to see me play and if you have a problem with it, you can go fuck yourself." I say, suddenly feeling protective over her. Why do people call her Freak? They don't even know her because if they did, they would know how awesome and cool she really is.

"Chill, dude. I don't have anything against Bella. I don't know her. I am actually glad that someone is being nice to her. She gets too much shit for shit she can't control. It's about damn time someone does something for her and not against her. She doesn't deserve it either. Let me know if people start giving her shit again. I'm tired of just sitting by and watching that poor girl get bullied no reason."

I look at Emmett unbelievingly. Did he really basically say he likes my friendship with Bella? That he would help me if shit goes down? "Thanks, Em. I appreciate it. Bella is really the only reason my ass isn't on the bench for the season." He looks at me in confusion. "She's tutoring me." I clarified.

"Oh, okay. I got you man. You gotta keep the grades to keep the spot on the team."

"Yeah, that's it all right."

We head on out to the field to warm up. It is almost time for the game to begin. The bleachers are starting to fill up quickly. I keep glancing around to see if Bella is here yet, but I never see her. Emmett, our wide receiver James, and I go to the middle of the field for the captains meeting. Still no sign of Bella. We do the coin toss and head back to our benches. The game is about to begin. Once it does, I can't keep searching for Bella unless I am off the field.

Maybe she is not coming. Maybe she couldn't make it. Maybe I just can't see her. I let my thoughts drift away as I take my spot on the field. Thirty seconds until kick – off. I glance around the bleachers one last time to search for her. The ref grabs his whistle right as my eyes catch the chocolatey brown eyes I have been searching for all night. She's here. I feel the sudden need to impress her – to show I am good at _something_. I smile at her and she waves timidly. The ref blows his whistle and my attention is immediately brought back to the game in front of me.

Every chance I get, I look at Bella sitting on the bleachers, away from everyone else. I am so happy that she is here, but I also feel bad because she is sitting through an almost three hour game by herself. My worries disappear every time I see her smile at me.

When the game is finished, I don't rush to meet my parents to celebrate our win like I do after all my other games. I rush to find Bella. She is in the crowd somewhere trying to get out of the bleachers. I sort through the crowd ignoring all the parents that yell, "Great game Edward!" When I spot Bella, she is barely underneath the bleachers away from the rest of the crowd. She is scanning the giant crowd near her, probably searching for me. My eyes meet hers and a giant grin spreads across her face.

When I get to her I pull her in for a hug. "Bella! I am so happy you came!" I feel her smile against my chest. I pull back to look at her, like really look at her. This moment is the moment that I realize how beautiful she really is. She has the most stunning brown eyes I have ever seen. Her face has tiny little freckles, hardly noticeable if you're not looking for them, all over it. She has long brown hair that cascades down her shoulders to the middle of her back. She has glowing pale skin a contradiction to her hair that makes her all the more attractive. She's beautiful.

I cup her cheek and to my sheer joy, she doesn't flinch. She doesn't lean into my hand, but at least she's not flinching at my touch anymore. I brush my thumb across her cheekbone. Before I realize what I am doing, I lean in and softly brush my lips against hers. I feel a slight shock when my lips finally reach hers and I know Bella felt it too because she elicited a tiny gasp at that moment. Bella stands completely still. I don't deepen the kiss in fear of how she might react, but I keep my lips firmly planted on hers.

After a few moments, I pull away and look directly in her eyes. A blush spreads across her face and she breaks away from my gaze, clearly embarrassed. She bites her lip hard.

"Hey, don't do that. You're going to bust it." I pull her bottom lip from the death grip her teeth have on it with my thumb.

A few moments pass and we stay frozen. One of my arms is still around her and the other is cupping her cheek. Her gaze still cast towards the ground. Why won't she look at me?

"Bella, hey are you okay?" Still not even a glance in my direction. Is she mad that I kissed her?

"Are you mad at me? You know, for kissing you?" That gets her attention. She looks up at me, her blush still very prominent. She shakes her head and looks away.

"Well, why won't you look at me?" She doesn't move. "Bella, please. Don't make me apologize for kissing you. I don't regret it and I don't want to apologize for it, but I will if it gets you to look at me again." I meant it too. Kissing her, however brief it was, was the smartest thing I have done since I met her.

Minutes pass and nothing happens. We just stand there, ignoring the people passing the bleachers like we are in our own little world. I continue to stare at her, hoping she feels my gaze and will look up. She never does though. I really feel like I screwed up by kissing her. Maybe she just wanted to be friends with me? Maybe she doesn't even like me like that? Hell, I didn't even know I liked her like that until I kissed her. Maybe I should apologize? I already told her I wouldn't mean it though…

Slightly annoyed that she is hardly acknowledging my presence, I move my arm that was around her waist, up to cup her other cheek. I pull her face up and finally, her eyes meet mine. There is confusion written everywhere. "Bella, please. What is going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

For a moment, I am scared that she might start crying. Just as I was about to let her go, she did what I thought she would never do.

"I just don't know what you want from me, Edward." Her voice was raspy from going so long without ever talking.

I stare at her, unbelievingly. For one, she just talked. From everything I knew about her, no one has ever heard her talk, even as a child. She also basically just said that she doesn't trust me.

"Bella." I gasped. "I just want to be your friend, maybe more if you wanted it. Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"People like you don't belong with people like me." Her voice was barely audible.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm not good enough for you?" She shakes her head vigorously and I immediately understand what she meant.

"You don't think you're good enough for me… Bella you can't honestly think that!"

"But, it's true." She tries to get out of the grip I have on her cheeks. I keep my grip on her firm, but not to the point that it would hurt her.

"You know it's true." She is barely even whispering now.

"No, it's not true. Do you want to know why?" Our gazes lock. "Because you see me for me. You are the only person in this school that doesn't see me as the 'football hero' or the 'hot guy' or the 'popular boy'. You are the only person from this school who seems to like me for me. You are the only person who doesn't treat me differently. Bella, don't you see? You are the only one who treats me like me." With that, I slammed my lips against her once more, not bothering to care if she wanted this or not. I needed to kiss her again. I need to prove to her that she is good enough for me. Hell, she's better than me, better than I deserve.

I pull away from her. Instead of staring at the ground, hiding herself from me, she looks right at me. Her face is covered in that blush.

"Believe me, Bella."

"I can't. I'm sorry."

I let go of my grasp on her cheek when I hear Emmett's voice approaching us.

"Yo, Ed! There you are! We've been looking everywhere for you, man!" He turns a corner and sees Bella. "Woah, man. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything." He smirks. "Hey, Bella! You want to go with us to the after party at the diner?" She blushes at Emmett's words and shakes her head. "Too bad, Bella. It is going to be awesome. You coming, Edward?"

I look to Bella then back to Emmett. "Not this time, man. I think I'm going to take Bella home then I am going to go home." I glance at her, daring her to disagree.

"Too bad, man. Well, I guess I'll see you Monday. Bye Edward." His gaze shifts to Bella and he smiles. "Bye Bella."

I turn my attention back to Bella and find her staring at me intently. "Come on. I'll take you home." I grab her hand to lead her to my car. I open up the passenger side door for her and help her in. I make my way back to the driver side and see her scribbling something on a napkin that I had in the floor.

 _You don't have to take me home you know. I can get home the same way I got to the game._

"Which is how exactly?" I gave her a knowing look.

 _I walked here and I am perfectly capable of doing it again._

She started to climb out of my Volvo before I could answer her. Great, I pissed her off even more.

"Bella wait." I gently grabbed her elbow. "I know you are perfectly capable of walking, but please humor me. It's dark outside. It's probably about to rain. It's late and you don't know what kind of people come out at night." She still didn't look convinced. "Please Bella, for me." I gave her my best puppy – dog look.

She sighed and stopped walking away from my car. She turned around to face me. I grabbed her hand once more and led her to my Volvo.

Once I got in, she started writing again.

 _Can you drop me off a few houses down from my house?_

"What? Why?" I looked at her incredulously. Why is she so hell – bent on walking? Something in her expression changed suddenly. She looked nervous. A million scenarios raced through my mind. Was she scared of me? Why did she need to be dropped off away from her house? Did she want to get away from me that badly?

I looked back at her and then it dawned on me. She snuck out. I couldn't believe it. She snuck out just to watch me play football?

"Your parents don't know you went to the game tonight, did they?" I asked carefully.

She shook her head.

"Just for me? You snuck out to see the game just for me?" She nodded, that blush spreading across her face once more.

"Well, thank you. Bella, I can't tell you how much this means to me." She smiles and if physically possible, her face gets redder.

I start to drive to her house. I stop about four houses down from her house and turn my lights off. She turns to get out of the car when I grab her elbow.

"What made you do it, Bella? What made you _talk_ to me? Why then? Why right after I kissed you? Why did you stop talking again? Why can't you trust me?" I needed answers.

She got the napkin and pen once more.

 _You are the first person to treat me like I'm important. I can never repay you for that. You don't understand what these past few weeks have meant to me, Edward. I don't want to lose you or our friendship. I want to trust you, Edward I do. But, how do I know you're not screwing with me? How do I know your friendship is real? When you kissed me, it was the greatest feeling ever. I've never felt anything like it and because I don't know if I can trust you, I didn't know how to react to it. I talked to you because the small shred of hope I have in you was screaming at me to trust you, to let you in. So, I did, even though it's not much. Please don't, make me regret this._

By the time I got through reading her note, she was already out of my car and out of site.

 **A/N: Little bit of a cliffe. So? What did you think? Edward finally kissed her! Was it good? Was it bad? Did you expect it? It's so exciting! Next BPOV. Do you think she's going to get caught? Let me know what ya'll think in a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. So very sorry for not updating in so long. I play basketball at my college and our season started to get too much for me to be able to balance life, practice, sleep, school, work, and socializing. I'll try to start updating as regularly as I can now that the season is at the end. I hope ya'll like this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubts suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer..." – Christina Perry**

 **Chapter 7**

 **BPOV**

 **September 2008**

As soon as I got through writing to Edward, I ran. I didn't want to confront him anymore. I didn't want to see the look on his face after he reads it. He makes me so confused. Part of me believes that he is the guy he is trying to be – that part being the more dominant one – while the other part still thinks that he is just using me.

Every part of me screams to listen to him – to trust him. When he kissed me, everything felt right. I felt like I was right where I needed to be. I was home. His warm embrace made me feel so secure and safe. It was as if nothing can hurt me as long as he was with me. Renee can't make me feel bad about myself. Phil can't hurt me. The people at school couldn't taunt me anymore. Everything in my world felt completely right.

That's why I know it's not real.

Edward is the most perfect guy by anyone's standards. He is the perfect gentleman – caring and kind. He's athletic. He's popular. Everyone knows and loves him. He could have anyone he wanted with just the snap of his fingers. Why would he choose me?

I am pathetic. I'm worthless. I'm ugly and pitiful. No one likes me. No one cares about me. Even my own parents knew I was pathetic when I was still a child. Why would Edward want to even humor the thought of even being seen with me? Why would he _kiss_ me tonight at the football game where anyone could see us?

The kiss. I never really thought of how my first kiss would go, but I definitely did not expect Edward to ever kiss me. I barely consider myself one of his friends, then he said he wanted to be more than that! I don't understand what he sees in me.

I get to my house and I immediately check to see if any lights are on anywhere. I don't see any. Good. I silently walk to the giant oak tree and pause before I start to make my climb. I turn around to vaguely see Edward's car in the distance, still unmoving. I turn around and get ready for the task at hand. I slowly climb up the tree, grateful that I don't come close to falling off. I get to the branch that is closest to my window and carefully move myself closer to it and the house. I slowly open my window, silently praying that I don't fall out of the tree in the process, and pull myself through.

I make a thud sound as I land on the ground. I immediately tense and listen for any indication that Renee and Phil have heard me. I stay on the floor for at least five minutes, just waiting for someone to come in here and catch me. I guess fate was on my side tonight because no one came.

All night, I was awake with worry, knowing that there was no way, no how I couldn't have not gotten caught. I never heard anything from their room. Because I was awake all night, I had time to think about everything that happened tonight. I snuck out of my house for a boy. I willingly went to a school event for said boy. Said boy _kissed_ me, like actual lip to lip contact. I can't help the smile that comes across my face every time I think about it.

I also can't help but think that he meant what he said. His words seemed so sincere, like he actually liked me as more than a friend. Could someone like Edward really want to be with someone like me? No, of course not. Why would Edward even want to be friends with someone like me?

I lay awake until my alarm clock goes off at 5. I slump out of bed to head to the kitchen and prepare for the worst. I make sure to pay extra attention to Renee and Phil's breakfast and coffee. When everything is perfect I head back upstairs in hopes of avoiding them.

The weekend passes by quicker than normal. It might have to do with the fact that Phil and Renee didn't pay any attention to me or it could be that I stayed holed up in my room thinking about Edward the whole weekend. It wasn't until late Sunday night that I realized one very important thing. I spoke to Edward.

I _spoke_ to Edward.

I used my voice and spoke to him like a normal person. He talked back to me like I was normal; that what I have to say is not meaningless. He didn't seem fazed that I had spoken to him. I hope he didn't notice. I don't want to have to face him tomorrow. It's the thoughts of this and our kiss from Friday that lulls me to sleep late Sunday night.

**TCWT**

 **November 2008**

It's been almost two months sense Edward kissed me and sense I had spoken to him. Two long amazing months. I never thought that I would have a friend. I never thought that Edward would accept me for me, or at least I'm about 75% sure he does.

I remember walking into class after that weekend when Edward had kissed me, thinking that he was going to overwhelm me with questions and push me to talk again. But he didn't. Edward didn't mention the kiss or my note or me talking to him. He acted as if nothing had ever happened between us at his football game. He, thankfully, listened to my note I left him, but he never said anything about it. He has been beyond perfect.

He still sits with me at lunch, along with Jacob and Seth. I've come to realize that Jacob and Seth are not as tough and mean as they look like. Jacob is really nice and funny. He always makes jokes at lunch and I, surprising myself and the others, laugh at most of them. Every time this happens, Edward will always lean in and whisper in my ear "I love it when you smile like that. I wish you would do it more often." My face lights up like a firetruck when he tells me this.

Seth is really calm and collected. He was the first one out of Jacob and him that I felt comfortable around. Seth just has this presence that makes you feel like mean something.

Edward and I still have our study sessions before school every day. He doesn't need them this often and when I try to tell him that, he brushes me off and changes the subject.

He still gives me half of his lunch every day. Because of this, I am actually starting to fully fit inside of my clothes. Edward must see this too because he keeps telling me that I look healthier.

Today at lunch, Edward, Jacob, and Seth were talking about their upcoming game on Friday.

"What do you mean you don't think we're going to win?" Edward nearly yelled. I flinched at his voice and he noticed. He apologized to me with his eyes.

I think he knows something is not right about my home life. He avoids the subject of Renee and Phil and he doesn't say anything when I flinch away from people touching me. I've gotten somewhat used to his touch, so I don't flinch as much anymore. But, loud voices do seem to still scare me.

"I _mean_ that Wilford has a record of 11 – 0. Our record is only 8 – 0. They are bigger, more experienced, and better than us, Edward." Jacob rambled.

Edward growls in frustration. "Look Jacob, just because we haven't played as many games as we have, doesn't mean they're better. We don't have to be bigger than Wilford, we just have to play smarter than they do and then we will win just like we always do." Edward puts his arm around me and I lean ever so lightly into his touch.

Jacob huffs in defeat because he knows Edward is right. I have been to every home game of Edward's since I first snuck out. I haven't gotten caught yet and I am fairly confident that I won't. I know Edward likes seeing me there, but he hates that I walk all the way from my house to the school, especially in the rain. He always insists on driving me home after every game, even though I know he wants to go to some of the parties with the rest of the team. He tried to convince me to go with him to one once and immediately regretted it when my face turned pale white and my eyes went wide like a deer caught in headlights.

Edward nudges me of out of my thoughts. "You okay?"

I smile and nod at him. He moves his hand from around my shoulders and put his hand on my cheek and cups it affectionately. I can't help but slightly flinch at the contact. He stares at me and his eyes soften. He whispers "one day" and drops his hand.

I have no idea what he means, but I don't have time to think about it because the bell rings signaling the end of lunch. Edward takes my trash and stands from his seat and waits on me to follow him. He walks me to my next class and says "I'll see you tomorrow morning to pick you up, okay?"

I nod and watch him walk away to his next class.

The rest of my day passes by uneventfully. I finish school, I go home, I cook dinner, I clean the house, and I go to bed. This is my routine for the rest of the week until Friday, the night of the big game against Wilford. I woke in a really good mood. I was excited about Edward's game tonight and I think Phil notices my change in demeanor.

"Why the fuck are you smiling? You got something going on?" Phil grabs me by my elbow and yanks me toward him.

I crumble beneath him in fear. God no. Why is this happening now? Edward is supposed to be here in a few minutes. I can't let him see this.

"I asked you a fucking question, bitch. Answer me."

I shake my head no reverently. My eyes are cast down so not to anger him. He doesn't seem satisfied by my answer. He grips my elbow harder and in the other hand he forcefully grabs my chin and jerks me up towards his face.

"Answer me, bitch." He spits all over my face and I start to shake from fear. Phil's hand is gripping my elbow so hard I'm scared it might snap.

I hear a car pull up in the driveway the same time Phil does. He relases his hold on my chin but on my elbow. He yanks me forward with him to the window. My elbow jerks in protests. I hear a pop.

"It's that stupid boy again." Phil growls out and then looks back to me. "He may have saved you this time, but don't think there will not be repercussions from this later." He lets go of my throbbing elbow and pushes me roughly towards the door. I stumble and fall and hit my head on the countertop on the way down.

My whole world is black for a few seconds and then I hear Phil and Renee's laughter as I come to.

"Get up you stupid girl, before that boy gets tired of waiting on you, bitch." Renee gets out in between fits of laughter.

I slowly get up, still dizzy from falling, and I clumsily make my way to the door. I get out of the house, barely, before Edward is right there in front of me. I start to fall again, but Edward catches me this time.

"Bella! Bella, what's wrong? Can you hear me? Bella?"

I slowly look up at him and shake my head yes.

"Come on, let's get you in the car." I nod and follow him to the passenger side. He opens the door for me and I somehow manage to crawl inside. He bends down to my eye level and asks again, "What happened?"

I shake my head.

He doesn't buy it. "Don't lie to me, Bella. Please. You can tell me anything, you know." He pleads with me. I want nothing more than to just cry my eyes out and tell him everything. I want to tell him how shitty my foster parents are. I want to tell him how much my head hurts and my elbow hurts. I want to cry so badly, but I won't. I won't let him see me like that. I haven't cried in years and I will definitely not start crying now, in front of the boy I call my friend. He doenst need to be bothered with my burdens. He won't care. I don't want him to look at me differently or act differently towards me. I just want him to stay my Edward.

"Bella?" He asks one more time.

I mouth the words, _I'm fine_ to him, but I know he still doesn't believe me. Yet, he sighs and goes over to the driver's side of the car and drives us to school.

When we get to the school, we wordlessly get out and walk to the library. I can't seem to focus on anything and I can't stay upright. It is not until we get to inside the building, about to walk up the steps to the library when my whole world goes black again.

 **A/N: So, what do ya'll think? Was it worth the wait? Next chapter should be up next week. I am almost done with it. Sorry this on is a little short, I just wanted to get it up as soon as I could for you guys. What do you think is wrong with Bella? What do you think is going through Edward's head? Let me know with a review**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **Never alone, I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye. My love will follow you stay with you. Baby, you're never alone." – Lady Antebellum**

 **Chapter 8**

 **EPOV**

 **November 2008**

Seeing Bella just collapse on the stairs like she did scared the hell out of me. I looked around in hopes of finding someone to tell me what to do, but there is no one in sight. I look back down at the unconscious girl in my arms and try to will her to wake up with my mind.

"Bella! Bella, please wake up. Come on." I beg her. I don't get a response. Suddenly, my phone rings.

"Edward honey, you forgot your lunch when you left this morning. Do you want me to bring it to you?"

Mom! I always knew every mother had a sixth sense in them. They always know when to call.

"Mom! Mom, please you've got to help me! Bella just collapsed at the school and I don't know what to do and she won't wake up and I don't know what to do. Mom, please you have got to help me." I sounded hysterical and I knew it. I was freaking out. I didn't know what the hell to do when someone just collapses.

"Edward calm down. Tell me what happened again. I'll head over to the school right now."

"I don't know what happened, Mom. One minute we're just walking and the next I see her fall. I barely caught her in time. She almost cracked her head on the floor. Mom, I'm scared. It's happening again."

I pause and wait for her to reply. She knows what I mean. This is exactly like what happened with my sister.

"It's going to be alright, son. Just stay calm. Don't think the worst, sweetie. I'm sure Bella is fine. I'll be there in 15 minutes. Can you wait on me until then? I need to call your father, Edward, and tell him what's happened."

Shit, why didn't I think of that first?

"Yeah I can do that, but please hurry."

"I am, son. Don't worry I am sure Bella will be fine." With that, she hangs up.

I look down to the beautiful girl in my arms. What could have happened to make her pass out like she did? It's probably the same reason she couldn't walk to the car when I picked her up from her house. Why the hell did she tell me she was fine if she clearly wasn't then? I mentally scold myself. I should've listened to my instincts and made her tell me what happened right then and there. Damn it. I could've avoided all this! She wouldn't be unconscious right now if I hadn't given up so easily. She can't end up like Alice. I won't let her.

I am so caught up in my thoughts that I don't even hear the footsteps of Mrs. Wilson approaching us.

"Goodness, Edward! What happened? What's wrong?"

"I don't know she just passed out. I don't know what to do. My mom is on her way and my dad may be too. My dad's a doctor so he'll know what to do."

"How long has she been like this for?"

"I don't know, maybe 10 minutes?"

"I don't think that's good, Edward. She needs to get to the hospital. Did you check to see if she's still breathing?"

Shit! Another thing I never thought to do! I'm such an idiot! I quickly put my ear right above her lips and rejoice when I hear the faint sound of her breathing. I sigh in relief and turn back to Mrs. Wilson who is kneeling on the ground beside me.

"She's breathing."

"That's good. I am going to go call and ambulance right now."

I nod my head and watch as she walks away.

"I'm so sorry, Bella." I whisper into her hair. I kiss her forehead and silently beg whoever is listening up _there_ for her to be okay.

**TCWT**

Five hours and a trip to the hospital later, Bella wakes up. I've been at her bedside since she got out of her CAT scan and refused to leave her side until I know she's okay. I can't help the smile on my face when I see her big brown eyes open and meet mine.

"Bella, you're finally awake. Thank God. I thought I had lost you there for a few minutes." I smile sadly at her.

She looks up to me and around the room and her eyes go wide. I hear her heart monitor start accelerating and once again I am at a complete loss at what to do. She is freaking out!

"What's wrong? Bella, please stop. You're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you, I swear." This seems to calm her down fractionally, but it starts again the moment the door opens. I look back to see my dad standing there in alarm.

"Bella, relax. It's just my dad. He's been the one helping you since the three of us got on the ambulance at school."

Her eyes go wide. What's going through her head right now? Why can't she see that she's safe here?

Finally my dad speaks up. "Bella, I am Dr. Cullen, Edward's dad. I need you to calm down or I am going to have to give you something to help you calm down." She visibly tries to calm herself. "That's great, sweetie. You're doing really well."

She calms down even further.

"Bella, can you tell me who you got those bruises on your elbow?" Bella's eyes go wide and she frantically tries to move her elbow, which was now in a sling, out of sight. She flinches at the sudden movement.

"It's alright sweetie, no one will judge you here. I just want to know what happened." She doesn't say anything. Instead, she looks to me, her eyes pleading for my help.

"Dad, she doesn't talk. She's not going to tell you what happened. Can I have a moment alone with her?"

Instead of listening to me he does the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear. "Edward, you need to leave the room, please. I need Bella to feel safe around me."

"But dad, I –"

"No buts, Edward. Now go. I'll come find you when I am done here."

I take one last long look at Bella and reluctantly leave. I know better than to try and argue with my dad when he's got his "Dr. Cullen" voice on.

I walk down the hallway and to the waiting room. When I get there I am surprised to find Jacob, Seth, and Emmett sitting in the chairs.

"Is she okay, Edward?" Jacob was the first to ask.

At first, I'm confused. "How did you know –"

It was Emmett who interrupted me. "When you didn't show up for class, I called your phone and you didn't answer. I thought that was really weird because you always answer. And, we kinda have a big game tonight, so I knew you wouldn't stay home. I may have had a little bit of a freak attack." He smiles bashfully.

"A little bit? You were ready to rip the math book into two! You scared Mr. Molina to death!" Seth turned to me and continued to speak. "All Mr. Molina tried to do was ask Emmett about the game tonight. This was at the peak of Emmett's freak attack and Mr. Molina caught him off guard. He snapped at him and stood up so quickly he almost broke the desk in the process!" Seth couldn't stop laughing as he was talking. I couldn't help but laugh too. I could easily see Emmett having a hissy fit and scared little Molina hiding in a corner.

After laughing at Emmett for a while, Seth continued, "When we didn't see you or Bella at lunch, we knew something was up. I eventually called Esme to see if she knew where you were and she said that you refused to go back to school. I guess Bella is a little more than a friend their buddy. For you to miss school on a game day and risk getting in trouble with coach." He smirks at me.

I ignore his comment and tell them what happened."I didn't know what the hell happened! She just fucking collapsed and I freaked out man. I froze. I didn't do anything. My dad's a damn doctor for fuck's sake! I've always been taught what to do in an emergency situation and I froze. I didn't do a damn thing to help her." I feel so guilty and I know it shows on my face when Emmett reaches out to me.

"It's okay, man. The important thing is that she made it here, right? She's okay now." He paused. "She is okay now, right?"

"I guess it depends on your definition of okay. My dad said she had a pretty bad concussion and she dislocated her elbow. They put it back into place while she was unconscious, but they couldn't seem to figure out how she dislocated it." I kept the part about the hand shaped bruise around her elbow to myself. I didn't want to say too much.

"That sucks man." I looked to Jacob and nodded in agreement. It was a few moments before anyone decided to speak again.

"When we found out you were here at the hospital, we told coach." Shit, I completely forgot about him.

Noticing the discomfort on my face, Seth continued, "He was pissed a little at first that you didn't tell him, but he cooled down after a while. He said you have to be back at the school by 5:00 for the game though."

I nodded my head. I was going to stay at the hospital with Bella for as long as I could. "So, uh, why are you guys here?" I was really curious. They didn't spend as much time around Bella as I do, so I don't understand why they would want to come all the way out this way for her.

"I can't help it, but Bella's growing on me, Eddie." Jacob smirked. He knows I hated to be called Eddie.

"Knock it off, Jake. You were just as worried about Bella as I was." Seth said. "She's our friend too, you know Edward. We were worried about her and you."

I didn't say anything. I just smiled at them. I couldn't ask for better friends.

My dad chose this moment to walk in the waiting room. "Son, can I speak with you?"

I turn to look back at my friends. "I'll see you guys at the game, alright?"

"Yeah okay man. Tell Bella that we stopped by." I nodded at Seth and turned to my dad.

I walked over to him. "What's wrong, dad? Did Bella say anything? Is she okay?" I start to head back up the hallway when he puts a restraining hand on my arm.

"Relax, son. Bella's fine, well mostly I guess. I couldn't get a single thing out of her. I am worried about her son. I know you saw the bruises on her elbow and jaw. They were hand – shaped bruises, Edward. Please, if you can get her to open up to you about anything, do it. I called her foster parents, and her foster mom is on her way. Now, go talk to Bella."

I nod my head and grab the notebook and pen from my dad's overcoat pocket. He looks at me suspiciously, but doesn't say anything. I head back up to Bella's room and smile when I see her. I walk in and her face brightens when she sees that it is me. I walk over to the side of her bed and said, "You scared the hell out of me today, Bella. I was terrified when you fell. I – I didn't know what to do. I am so sorry, Bella, I panicked when you need me." I couldn't help but think of Alice when I saw her in that hospital bed. That was my last memory of her, my sister, my _baby_ sister. I quickly get rid of those thoughts and focus back on Bella.

She smiles sadly and reaches out to place her hand on mine. I smile softly at the notion. Maybe she's not mad at me. I show her the pen and notebook in my hand and ask, "Do you feel like talking to me?" She nods her head yes and takes the notebook. She stares at me expectantly and I decide not to interrogate her about the bruises just yet.

"How are you feeling?"

 _I have a little headache, but nothing too bad. Thank you for helping me today._

"It's no problem, Bella. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." She smiles at this. "My dad told me you have a concussion and you dislocated your elbow. Do you remember what happened?"

She freezes for a split second before she responds.

 _No, I don't remember. I woke up with the headache and I don't know what I did to my elbow. Maybe I landed on it when I fell at the school?_

She's lying to me and she knows I know it.

"Bella, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened." She doesn't look convinced. "Bella, please it's me." I cup my hand around her cheek. "I'd do anything for you and you know it. I just want to help you." She doesn't flinch from my touch. Much to my surprise, she leans into it.

 _I know, Edward, but I honestly don't know what happened._

I look at her and sigh. She's not going to tell me the truth. I lean down to her face and kiss her forehead. "Maybe one day you'll trust me enough to tell me." She looks ashamed and her eyes look away from mine.

I can't stand her looking like that so I quickly change the subject. "You know Emmett, Seth, and Jacob came by here a few minutes ago. They were worried about us – me _and_ you. If we didn't have a game tonight, I'm sure they would've fought their way in here to check on you. They care about you too. You have friends that want to help you and be here for you, Bella. You just have to let us in. I –" Before I could finish the door opens.

We both look to the sound of the door opening at the same time. No knocking, whatsoever, whoever was at the door just barged in.

"Oh Bella, my sweet baby girl! What happened to you? I got a call from the hospital about an hour ago and had to wait until my lunch break to come over here."

It is Renee. I stare at her incredulously. Is this the same woman who I had to beg to let Bella come tutor me? The same lady who referred to her daughter as a worthless, stupid bitch? There is no way.

Bella seems to be just as shocked as I am, so I respond for her. "Hi Renee, remember me? I'm Edward Cullen. I was with Bella when she collapsed at school. My dad is the main doctor here and has been taking care of Bella since we got on the ambulance."

Renee didn't seem to notice my presence until I spoke. "So you're the boy who saved my precious angle's life? Oh thank you, thank you!" She reaches over to hug me and I automatically stiffen at the impact. She lets go of me and turns to Bella. "Sweetie what did you do this time?"

When Bella doesn't answer her, I take it upon myself to answer for her. "She has a concussion and she dislocated her right elbow. My dad was able to put her elbow back in place while she was unconscious, but from the severity of the concussion, my dad said she is going to be in a great deal of pain for a few weeks."

She looks angry for a split second then another emotion comes across her face. "You always did know how to find yourself in trouble, didn't you?"

I don't like the tone of her voice when she says this. I look down to Bella and notice her squirming away from Renee's penetrating gaze. I grab Bella's hand and try to get Renee's focus back on me. "Do you know how Bella got her injuries, Mrs. Swan?"

Her eyes dart to mine and replies a little too quickly. "I have no idea how she got hurt, boy, and I don't care for your tone very much either." She's lying; I can tell.

Before I get to respond, my dad walks in. Perfect timing.

"Ahh, Mrs. Swan, I am so glad you finally got here."

"Yes I came as soon as I could and I immediately got interrogated from this boy over here!" Renee starts to cry hysterically. "I just found out that my baby girl is in the hospital with a severe concussion and the first thing anyone says is "do _you_ know what happened?" This boy over here has been accusing me the entire time I've been here!"

Carlisle gives me a questioning look. Good. He doesn't believe her story. He knows I wouldn't do that. He turns back to Renee.

"'That boy' is my son and I will apologize for his behavior on his behalf. Nobody is accusing you of anything. We are a little curious as to how Bella go hurt. If you look around her elbow –" He moves to the side of the bed where Bella's elbow rests. Her eyes go wide, but calms down quickly when I squeeze her hand. Dad shifts the sling slightly to show where her hand- shaped bruise around her elbow is visible. "We can see bruising around the area of impact. It almost looks as if she had been grabbed and slung around hard enough for her humerus to become detached."

Immediately Renee looks angry. "I have no idea how she got hurt, damn it! Stop accusing me! All I want is to be able to take my baby girl home with me so I can take care of her!"

Dad tried to soothe her. "Ma'am no one is accusing you of anything. We just want to know what happened to poor Bella here."

Dad glances at Bella, hopeful look in his eye. Renee glares at Bella at the same time, daring her to speak. Bella shifts uncomfortably from underneath all the stares when I pipe in, "She told me she didn't remember anything and if she did, she would've told me, right Bella?" I say, trying to give her a reprieve. Between Renee's reaction to Bella being in the hospital and Bella's reluctance to tell me what happened, I know that Renee knows what happened to Bella. She is bullying her into not saying anything.

Bella nods at my statement and looks nervously at Renee. Renee seems pleased by my answer and drops the conversation.

"So, when can I take her home? I know how much my baby hates hospitals and I know she would much rather be safe at home with her mommy than anything else in the world. I want to get her out of here as soon as possible, Dr. Cullen. When might that be?"

"Well I would prefer it if she stayed overnight for observation, but I don't see any harm in discharging her in a few hours."

"Great! It's settled then! I'll be back to pick her up when I get off of work. I need to leave now, my lunch break is only so long you know. Bye Bella. I will see you later."

She bends down to whisper something in her ears and Bella goes white. All the color leaves her face. Renee doesn't seem to notice this and walks out of the room like nothing happened. I look to my dad and then back to Bella. Something is off about the way Bella acts around Renee. I just don't know what yet, but I will find out.

"I will need to see you back here in three weeks to check your head again and to get your elbow out of that sling, Bella. Until then, I need you to keep that sling on and take these pain medications. If you ever need to talk to someone about anything, I am here for you Bella. I don't have to be a doctor if you don't need me to. I can just be the dad of this little turd right here if you need me to be." He grabs me and puts me into a headlock. I quickly get out of it and laugh along with him. He looks back at Bella and says "Anything, just call." He writes his number on a piece of paper and slides it under the bottle of pain pills and then leaves.

I glance at the time. It's already 4:30. Damn, I need to get going. "I have to go to my game Bella. I am so sorry I have to leave. I wouldn't if I didn't have to." She smiles softly at me and grabs the pen and paper again.

 _It's okay, Edward, I get it. Go win your football game for me, okay?_

How she can think about me winning a football game at a time like this is beyond me. I smile at her and nod. "I'll pick you up Monday morning 6:30, okay?" She nods. I lean down to kiss her forehead and sigh. I turn and head for the door. I don't leave right then, instead I turn back to Bella and say, "If you need anything, I don't care how small or big it is, call that number." I point to the piece of paper that my dad had written his number on. "I'm just a phone call away. Stay safe, Bella." With that I turn around and leave.

 **A/N: So. What did ya'll think? What do you think is going to happen to Bella next? What do you think Renee said to her? Do you think she'll call Carlisle if something happens? I know in real life, Carlisle would never be able to ask Edward to do those things to Bella because of the doctor – patient confidentiality, but for the sake of the story he needed to. Please let me know what ya'll think in a review! See you next week.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! A couple of you guys guessed right about what Renee said to Bella at the hospital! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! It's an important one!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets. Let's take our time, say what we want. Use what we got before it's all gone, cause no, we're not promised tomorrow." – Meghan Trainer**

 **Chapter 9**

 **BPOV**

 **November 2008**

Walking into my house after being in the hospital all day, I should have felt relieved, but I didn't. I was completely wound up and nervous. After Renee threatened me not to say anything about what really happened in the hospital, I thought for sure that she and Phil would come up with some sort of plan to make sure I keep my mouth shut. And yet, neither one of them have said anything or done anything out of the ordinary.

I slowly cooked dinner with my one hand and throbbing head. I feel like I am walking around eggshells around Renee. I don't want to piss her off any more than she already is. If they are going to hurt me or threaten me, I wish they would just get it over with. I don't like playing the waiting game.

The pain in my head is getting more and more intense but I can't take any more pain pills. I've already reached the maximum you're allowed to take within 24 hours. Carlisle said if I take more than six in one day then I can go into a coma and possibly die. Maybe that's what I need to do. Save up some pills and kill myself. It's not like anyone would miss me. I'm sure Renee and Phil would be overjoyed. They wouldn't have to ever put up with me again. I wouldn't ever have to put up with them again. I would never feel pain again. They couldn't hurt me anymore if I were dead. I wouldn't feel anything. I would never have to go to school again and see everyone. I would never see Tanya again. I would never see Jacob or Seth or Edward again.

 _Edward_. I would never see him again. My heart breaks a little bit at the thought. I would never see the one person in the whole world that I care about. The last memory he would have of me is me in that hospital bed. Maybe that's for the best. Maybe I can just make a clean slate. He can have his normal life back and not be dragged down by some pathetic excuse for a girl anymore. It's not like he really cares about me anyway. But if he didn't care about me, why would he stay at the hospital all day with me and risk not being able to play tonight if he didn't care? Why would he give me his food every day at lunch if he didn't care? Why would he look at me the way he does if he didn't care? Why would he treat me so good and nice if he didn't care about me?

I stare up at space for 20 minutes trying to answer all these questions. Should I kill myself? Could I do that to Edward? No. He means too much to me for me to leave him behind. Even if I don't mean anything to him, he is still the best thing to happen to me. He treats me like I am the best damn thing to ever happen to him. Even though I know it's the other way around. I can't do that to him, even if it would end my suffering. I won't do that to him or to myself. He's too important. I don't want his last memory of me to be on that hospital bed and then dead a few hours later.

I'm broken out of my inner monologue when I hear Phil walks in the door. I'm just now setting the fried fish and salad on the table when he says, "You caused quite a scare for your mother today. She thought you had done something stupid like tell that idiot of a doctor that you got hit this morning. But I know you wouldn't do that." He grins wickedly. "You're too much of an idiot to talk to the doctor. You don't even talk to me or Renee. I know you're never going to tell anyone about what goes on in this house now, aren't I right?" I shake my head yes in hopes of placating him. "That's a good little bitch. Now hurry up with this damn food. I'm starving." With that I turn to the refrigerator and grab him a beer as he heads to his chair and flat screen. I sigh in relief that he didn't decide to hit me or threaten me once more today. I have a little reprieve.

The weekend goes by fast – faster than normal. Neither Renee nor Phil mention the accident and I don't either. If they aren't going to yell at me about it, then I'm not going to bring it up.

When Edward pulls up the driveway on Monday morning, I can't help but feel a smile break across my face. He gets out of his car and comes up to me and hugs me as best as he can with my sling on. I don't flinch at his touch at all. Instead, I hug him back just as forcefully. I've needed this. I needed _him_. I need the reassurance that there is someone out there that cares about me. All the negative thoughts about killing myself immediately are erased from my mind with one simple hug.

"I missed you, Bella. I am so sorry about what happened on Friday. You don't deserve to be like this." He gestures to my elbow. I am overwhelmed by the sincerity in his words, in his voice. He really does care about me.

I smile at him and I bury my head in his chest. I don't know who was shocked more, me or him. I pull away awkwardly and meet his eyes.

"Come on, let's go to school."

It's not until we are walking to biology that people start coming up to Edward.

"Nice job, man, way to kick their asses Friday night!" A guy named Tyler Crowley came up to him and said. They did that weird "bro hug" thing and he walked away.

What was he talking about? Edward was with me all day Friday.

Another guy, Ben Cheney, came up and said, "I always knew you guys had in it you. I never doubted you guys for a second!"

Again, I'm completely confused. Had it in them for what? Doubted what?

Emmett, Jacob, and Seth came up to us next. "Edward, man I can't tell you how many people keep coming up to me and talking about the game Friday night."

The game! Of course. I should've known. Oh shit! I forgot about Edward's game! I didn't go to it. Dammit! Well, maybe he knew that I wouldn't be able to sneak out because of my elbow and head. Maybe Edward won't be too upset that I didn't go. What am I thinking? He probably didn't even realize that I wasn't there.

I look up to find Emmett staring at me playfully. "Our favorite little quarterback was distracted on Friday night. I'll give you one guess as to who his mind was on all night instead of football." He looks at Edward pointedly and I blush. He can't be serious. "Yeah, that's right, Bella. We could barely get him to get his mind off of you. I don't know how many times I heard him say, 'Do you think Bella's okay? Should I just leave and go find her? What if something happens to her and she doesn't call? What if she lost my dad's number? Maybe I should just go guys. Are you guys going to be pissed off if I leave early? She could be in pain right now.'" I looked up at Edward in shock. He really said all those things? He spent his entire game worried about me? I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, but I don't let them fall. He cares about me. He _really_ cares about me.

"I thought we all agreed that we weren't going to tell people about that, guys." Edward chuckles nervously, glancing down at me. His hand moves from his side to the small of my back. It's a sign of comfort. He always seems to realize what I need, when I need it.

"Yeah, we did, but it is way more fun this way." Jacob says and the three of them burst out laughing as Edward flips them off, a shit – eating grin on his face.

Edward looks down to me and says, "Come on. Let's get to class and leave these idiots." He guides me with the hand that is still placed on my back.

In class, Edward and I pass notes like we always do.

 _I'm sorry I missed your game Friday night._ I wrote.

He glances at me, a weird look on his face. _You had just gotten out of the hospital, Bella. I wasn't expecting you to be there._

 _But, I told you I was coming. Accident or not, I should've been there. It was a big game and you shouldn't have been worrying yourself over me. I'm not worth it, trust me._

Anger flashes across his face as he reads what I put.

The bell rings, signaling then end of biology. Edward grabs me by the hand, careful not to yank me because of my elbow, but still forcefully enough to let me know he means business. He leads me to a semi – secluded part of the hallway where no one could hear or see us.

"What the hell are you talking about, Bella? Don't feed me this 'I'm not worth it' crap! I've heard it all before and it's nothing but a bunch of bullshit!" I flinch at his words. I've never seen him so angry. For a split second, I am concerned that he might hit me. But, all of my fears go away when his face softens. "Bella you are worth it, okay? You're worth more than you know. You're worth it to me. Do you believe me?" He stares at my face intently.

I don't know what to say. Part of me truly believes that he is telling me the truth, but the other part of me knows that it's not true. I'm not worth it. Not to him or Phil and Renee, not even to my real parents. My entire life I have lived by the saying "You are a worthless piece of shit." For 15 years, that is all I have heard from everyone in my life. I can't just start believing that someone else thinks differently. It's too painful to let myself hurt like that.

Edward is looking at me expectantly. I slowly lift my head to face him. I muster up all the courage in my body and say, "I can't." I speak so quietly I didn't know if he heard me or not.

Then his face contorts in pain as he says, "Bella…" He presses his forehead against mine. I don't flinch because part of me knows he would never hurt me, physically at least.

The way he says my name makes my heart constrict. My breath gets caught in my throat as we just stare at each other in the hallway. It felt like we were staring at each other for years, but I know it was only for a few seconds. In those sweet seconds, my gaze was trapped with his. It felt like it was him who held me to the ground, not gravity. It felt so perfect, so _right_. But just as quickly as it came, it went.

The moment was lost as we both turn to hear Emmett's boisterous laugh from down the hall. It broke the moment.

"Come on, I don't think Mr. Molina will be too happy about us missing two days in a row of his class." We walk down the hall to Mr. Molina's class and right as we are walking in, Edward grabs me to hold me back.

"We are _not_ finished with that conversation yet, Bella." His expression is completely serious and I know there's no way I'll be able to ignore it later.

What he does next surprises me. He looks me in the eyes to make his point clear, then he presses his lips to my forehead.

This is the second time he's done that to me.

Why is he doing that? Does he really like me like that? Even though I basically freaked out on him when he actually kissed me at the football game all those weeks ago? Do I like him like that? Am I even capable of liking someone like that? I am just barely getting over the notion that he might actually want me as a friend, but as a girlfriend? Is that even possible?

Yes. It is. It's the reason my stomach turns to butterflies every time he looks at me the way he does. It's the reason I didn't kill myself on Friday night, because of _him_. He's literally the only thing I have worth living for right now. I can't believe it. I, Bella Swan, have found someone on this earth that I like and that possibly likes me back! I can't help the giddy feeling inside my chest as Edward and I walk into math. I like Edward Cullen.

 **A/N: So what did ya'll think? Was it good? Was it bad? Did you expect any of it? Yes, I know this one is shorter than the last one, but this was the best place for me to stop and set up for the next chapter. Don't worry, I already have the next chapter written, so no more late updates! Please remember to review and tell me what you think! See ya'll next week.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: A few of you had a couple questions about the last chapter, so I'll do my best to answer them without spoiling the story. The hospital didn't start an investigation on Bella's accident because she kept telling (not speaking but you get what I mean) Carlisle that she couldn't remember what happened. Then when Renee came in, she said the same thing. Carlisle had a theory that the bruises on Bella were hand shaped, but without Bella saying "yes Phil hit me", the hospital can't do anything about it. Carlisle did not have strong enough evidence. Anyway, thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! It is by far the longest chapter I have written so far and it is one of my favorites out of the entire story. Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **But if I fall for you, I'll never recover. If I fall for you, I'll never be the same." – Maroon 5**

 **Chapter 10**

 **EPOV**

 **December 2008**

I'm waiting in Bella's driveway at 6:15 Monday morning. I am super early and I know it. I'm just so anxious to see Bella. Today is the first day back from Thanksgiving break and I haven't seen her in the two weeks we've had off for vacation. During this vacation, I have had no contact whatsoever with Bella. All I know is that dad took off her elbow sling and he told her she could ease off the pain medicine. He told me that she looked tired, as if she hasn't been sleeping very well. He said the medicine he gave her should have been enough to knock her out, but her appearance says otherwise. He wouldn't tell me when she had made her appointment during the break. Stupid doctor patient confidentiality. I couldn't very well stay at the hospital for my dad's entire shift every day for two weeks just to make sure she was alright. I wanted to, but dad put his foot down. He told me to just be patient and that I would see her soon.

I have never wanted to go back to school so much in my entire life. I just wanted to see Bella again. I had considered visiting her over the break, but my mom told me to leave her to her family. As if her foster parents are her _family_.

All I could think about over break was her. She consumed my every thought. I've never been so infatuated so much with someone in my life. She is such a mystery to me. She does not talk to anyone. She has only ever _spoken_ to me twice and I am still in shock as to why she would choose me to be the person she talks to. As far as I know, I am the only one who talks to her and is friends with her, except Emmett, Jake, and Seth of course. She honestly believes that she is not worth anything. She doesn't understand that she has people who actually for her. I mean actually care, not that fake shit that Renee tried to pull off at the hospital. I wish I knew how to make her understand that I think she is worth something. I _know_ she is worth something. She's worth it to me. I want to be there for her. I want her to talk to me, to confide in me. I want her to be able to tell me about how she got that concussion and how she dislocated her elbow. I have my theories, but without Bella's word, I have no actual proof. Something seriously sick is going on in her house and I _will_ get to the bottom of it.

If she will just let me in, I can show her how she should be treated. I can show her what having a _real_ family is like. I could make her mine. I need to do something to prove to her that I am here for good. She can't get rid of me, even if she wants to.

I glance up at Bella's house and notice that the light is on in what I can guess is the kitchen. I see someone moving around in there, but I can't tell who it is. I look closer until I hear my phone go off. It's Emmett.

 _Bro! Don't forget about my party this weekend after the game! Bring Bella! I want her to start hanging out with us more often!_

I snickered. As if I could forget. Emmett has been bugging everyone about it since he came up with the idea for the party. I spy Bella coming out the front door and I send a quick text back to him.

 _Don't worry, you big oaf. I am not going to forget about your party. I'll talk to Bella about it, but I wouldn't get your hopes up Em._

His response was immediate.

 _Beg her if you have to, Edward. I want her to feel comfortable around me. I hate that she looks all sad and lonely all the time._

I sigh and put my phone in my back pocket. I get out of my car to meet Bella at her doorstep. Dad was right, she looks exhausted. The bags under her eyes are big. She walks like she is about to fall over. Despite her obvious lack of sleep, she has giant grin spread across her face when she sees me get out. I halfway run up to her and wrap her in a tight hug. She holds me back just as tightly. When I finally let go of her, I cup her cheeks with my hands and lightly press my lips to her forehead. I hear her sigh in contentment. I'm glad she has stopped flinching when I touch her. I pull back away from her face and say, "I'm pretty sure I drove myself crazy thinking about you the entire break."

She blushes at my comment and pulls me in for a hug. She buries her head into my chest. I am so shocked by her actions, I barely have time to register when she pulls back, her face more flushed than before. I just smirk at her and she smiles and shakes her head. I grab her hand and pull her to my car.

We drive to the school and park in the parking lot, but we just stay in the car. She and I both know that there is no need to go to the library and study. Now we are staying in my car and I start to ask her random questions. I don't want her to feel like she has to answer me back verbally, so I give her my notebook and a mechanical pencil.

"What's your favorite color?"

 _Green._

"What's your favorite animal?"

 _Dog._

"Gee, can you be more basic?" I joke with her and she blushes. She playfully shoves my arm at my joke. I love seeing this side of her. She's not guarded. This is the only time that I feel as if she is letting me in.

 _What's wrong with dogs? Their loyal and they love you no matter what. Not to mention they're all adorable and cute and fun and furry and loveable and - ._

I cut her off as she is writing. "Okay, okay, I get why you love dogs. Next question: what's your middle name?"

 _Marie._

"Is that a family name?"

A melancholy look comes across her face as she starts to write down her answer.

 _They told me it was my mom's name, but I don't really remember. I don't really remember much about before my life with Phil and Renee._

I instantly regret asking her that question. I try to lighten the mood with a joke. "Hey, what do you call a fake noodle?"

 _What?_

"An impasta!"

The corny joke does the trick. She bursts out in laughter. I love the sound of her laugh. It's so carefree. It makes her seem younger than 15. Her laugh is contagious and it is not long before I am laughing along with her. As our laughter dies down, I take a moment to look at her, really look at her. Bella has really long brown hair. She has chocolate brown eyes. She has tiny little freckles on her nose that you can't see unless you're really looking for them. She has the perfect smile. She really lives up to her name, Bella, _beautiful_.

She notices me staring at her and to avoid her asking any questions, I question her. "What's your favorite subject in school?"

 _Biology._

I smirk at her answer. "Any particular reason?" I ask with a knowing look on my face.

She just blushes and looks away.

"Okay next question. Why do you let everybody in school treat you the way they do?" I am not entirely sure if she's going to answer me. I want to push her a little bit for answers because I have to find some way to help her. I need her to know that she can trust me and that I'll always be there for her.

 _No matter what I do, I'm always going to be a freak to them. I always have been. They just don't take the time to see me for me. Not just the girl who doesn't talk to anyone._

"But that's not true, Bella. You talk to me."

She smiles sadly, but doesn't answer. I start again. "You can always talk to me, you know."

 _Nobody has ever care for anything I've ever had to say. I guess I just got tired of trying. I mean, why speak if no one is there to listen to what you have to say?_

I turn my entire body towards her. I cup her cheek with my hand and I lean in closer. I look directly into her eyes and say, "I'll listen. If you ever have anything to say, Bella, I will always listen to you."

"I know." She whispered back.

Trying to get off the tension – filled subject, I start talking to Bella about football.

"My entire life I feel like my parents have just pushed and pushed me to play football. At first I loved it, but now, I don't feel that excitement that I used to get when I run out on that field. I know I still love it, but sometimes it just gets too much. Between the pressure of being good and the 'fame' that comes with it, I don't even know what I would be like if I didn't play. It has literally been my life for as long as I can remember."

"Edward I –"

"You don't have to say anything, Bella. Shit. I don't even know what I would say to something like that. Sometimes I just feel like people only see what they want to see in me. I mean, my parents, my friends, the town, all they see is the football player. It's like they don't even see me, you know? Sometimes I think that football is the only reason I have friends. I mean, I met almost all of them through football. They just don't get me. They only know the football player. I don't think anyone even knows who the real Edward Cullen is. I -"

"Edward." She grasps my arm in her small hands. "You are kind and wonderful and anyone would be foolish not to like you for you and I know for a fact that your parents know and love you for who you are. That's what parents do. I am sure they will support you in whatever you do with your life, even if it isn't football. Besides, if you don't enjoy football anymore, why don't you just tell them?"

"I don't want to let them down. They have literally given me everything that I have wanted in life, so how can I quit the one thing they ask for?"

"You could never let them down."

I don't say anything after that. I smiled softly at her and press a quick kiss to her forehead.

"Oh, and Edward, you're way more than just a football player to me."

I smile. The bell is about to ring, so Bella and I walk hand in hand to class together.

At lunch Emmett sits with us. His boisterous laugh fills the entire cafeteria. Everyone is staring and I can tell Bella is uncomfortable. I reach over beside me where Emmett is sitting and smack him in the back of the head. "Can it, McCarty. There's no need for the entire population of Forks High to know your dumb joke."

Emmett's face is one of hurt as he reaches behind his head to touch where I just smacked him. "Ouch, dude! That hurt!"

I give him an incredulous look. I didn't hit him _that_ hard.

"Okay, so maybe it didn't really hurt, but you didn't have to hit me, man. I have a reputation of being a badass to uphold."

I roll my eyes at him and put my arm around Bella. She is silently eating the chicken salad sandwich and carrot sticks that I brought her for lunch today. She notices me staring at her and stops eating, blush covering her face.

"If you're still hungry, Bella, you can have this Twinkie that my mom packed me." She looks at me and frowns. "I'm not going to eat it, so you might as well." She still doesn't look convinced.

"If she won't eat it, I will!" Jacob interrupted.

"I know you will Jacob, but I wasn't asking you." I give him a pointed look.

"Okay, okay. Gee, Ed. Remind me never to get in the middle of you and her and a Twinkie again."

Bella bursts out laughing at Jacob's side comment. All three of Jacob's, Seth's, and Emmett's faces are in shock. This is the first time they've heard her laugh, or make any kind of noise really. Soon their shock wears off and they are laughing again too. Like I said, Bella has a contagious laugh.

I can't help the smile on my face. Bella is opening up. She's letting more than just me in. I can't believe it! My eureka moment is interrupted when Tanya walks up to our table.

"Oh, wow! Look at the Freak! She's laughing! I think it's so nice that you boys have taken her on as your little charity case! I've always wanted to do community service, but I wouldn't want to waste my reputation on the Freak and neither should you boys."

I was the first one to jump to Bella's offense. I stood up and got in Tanya's face. "Oh, fuck off, Tanya. Can't you see no one wants you over here? Bella is seriously the only girl in this school who is not a whore like you. The only reason you can't see it is because you are too busy being a bitch. Why the hell can you not leave her alone?"

Our conversation starts to draw the attention of everyone in the lunch room.

"Wow, Edward I didn't know that poor and ugly turn you on. You either must be really desperate to get off or she must be an even bigger freak in the bed."

That did it. I was beyond pissed. No one should be talked about that way, not for any reason. My control is slipping away by the second. My mom always taught me to respect girls and to never, ever lay a hand on them, but I think she may make an exception in this case. Bella must have noticed my anger because the second I was about to punch her in the face and break her fake nose, Bella stood up behind me and grabbed my hand.

"Awe, look at this." Tanya turns around to the rest of the cafeteria who were just as engaged in our argument as we were. "The Freak is holding Edward's hand." She turns back to me. "I'd be sure to have that disinfected." She gestures to the hand Bella is holding. "We wouldn't want that perfect throwing hand to be infected with STDs or the Freak disease, now would we?"

I feel Bella tense up. I can feel the anger rolling off of her. She lets go of my hand and marches straight up to Tanya and slaps her across the face. Bella doesn't say one word. She just turns back around and takes my hand back in hers.

The entire cafeteria stays silent for a split second, then it erupts in laughter, applause, and whoops and hollers for Bella. I turn to face her. I can't actually believe she just did that. She stood up to Tanya by herself. I can't keep the smile off my face as I pull her in for a bone crushing hug.

"I can't believe you just did that." I whisper with a smile on my face. It's about time she started standing up for herself.

"Remind me never to piss you off Bells! You've got one hell of a right hook!" Emmett says in between fits of laughter. I laugh along with Emmett and let go of Bella.

I look down at her and I am surprised by what I see. She looks absolutely mortified at what she did. I immediately sit her back down at the table.

"No, no, no, no. Do not feel bad for that. She deserved that. You do not deserve to be treated the way that she treats you. You deserve so much more than that. You deserve to be treated like a fucking princess and that's what I am going to do." I grab both of her cheeks gently and force her to meet my eyes. "I am never going to treat you like anything else. Do not think that you did something bad to Tanya. She deserved everything she got and if you hadn't of hit her, I was about to."

She doesn't respond and her facial expression does not change. She looks so guilty right now, almost as if she was in pain.

"What is going on in here?" I freeze when I hear Principal Banner walk into the cafeteria.

Oh shit. I silently vow right then and there that I am not going to let Bella get in trouble for this. I will take the blame for everything.

The entire cafeteria grows quiet once more as Mr. Banner walks over to where Tanya is hysterically sobbing on the floor.

"The Freak slapped me, Mr. Banner! All I did was come up to her table and talk to her and she irrationally got mad and slapped me as hard as she could." She is completely faking everything: her story, her tears, and her attitude.

Mr. Tanner looks confused for a moment. "Who are you referring to when you say the Freak, Tanya?"

Tanya looks up from her tearful gaze at Mr. Banner to over where Bella and I sit at our table. "Bella Swan slapped me when all I tried to do was be her friend!" She starts crying harder this time. "She probably left a mark on my face, too. Look at me!"

Mr. Banner turns to her and says, "Are you sure that someone slapped you, Tanya?"

She looks angry at Mr. Banner's question.

"Of course I am sure that someone slapped me!"

He looks incredulous. "Are you sure that _Bella Swan_ is the one that slapped you?"

"Yes I am sure! Now are you going to fucking suspend her or not?"

"I am sorry Tanya, but I just can't believe that Bella Swan of all people would slap you. I can't suspend her without proof, either."

"Proof? You need fucking proof that she hit me? Look at my face!"

"I am sorry Tanya, but there is nothing on your face but smeared makeup. Unless you have some sort of proof or witness to Miss Swan hitting you, I am afraid I can do nothing about it."

"The entire fucking cafeteria saw her slap me! Just ask any one of them!"

Mr. Banner turns to Jacob, Seth, Emmett, and I first. "Did you boys see Bella slap Tanya?"

Emmett, Jacob, and I shake our heads no while Seth says, "No sir. Bella here is the sweetest girl in this school. She would never hurt Tanya, no matter how much she deserves it."

Mr. Banner nods his head and turns to the table next to ours. I knew most of the group that was sitting there. They were Lauren Mallory, Ben Cheney, Mike Newton, Angela Weber, Eric Yorkie, and Jessica Stanley. "Did any of you see anything?"

They all shake their heads no. When Mr. Banner asks the next group of people the same thing, they all say no. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. No one was saying anything.

Mr. Banner turns to face the entire cafeteria and says, "If anyone saw anything, now is the time to come forward."

No one moves or does anything. Tanya gasps in disbelief. "What? You all saw her slap me! Why are none of you defending me?"

The entire cafeteria gasps in shock when Tanya's best friend and fellow cheerleader, Rosalie Hale stands up and says. "Would you stop your bitching, Tanya? Bella Swan did nothing to you, so stop trying to get her in trouble. You're doing nothing but embarrassing yourself now. Stop playing this stupid charade and go wash that coloring book off of your face."

Tanya gasps at Rosalie's statement.

Rosalie walks over to Mr. Banner. "Bella Swan did not hit Tanya, but if Tanya does not stop acting like she is a fucking queen, I will."

"Alright Miss Hale, please calm down." He turns to Tanya. "It is pretty clear to me that nothing happened here, Miss Denali. I suggest you clean yourself up and come to my office to discuss what your punishment for causing such a ridiculous scene will be."

"WHAT?" She screeches. "My punishment? I am the victim here, Mr. Banner! How are you so dumb not to be able to see it? Are you really that fucking stupid?"

Mr. Banner's face scrunches in anger. "I suggest you stop talking Miss Denali before you say something that will get you in even bigger trouble."

"Oh, I can say a hell of a lot more. Like the fact that we have an idiot for a principal and he is sleeping with the Freak which is the only reason you're so fucking blind as to not see that she hit me! Or the fact that he –"

"Enough Tanya. You are to go straight up to my office and call your parents to come pick you up. You are suspended for the rest of the week, including the football game Friday night."

"WHAT? You can't do that! My daddy pays a lot of money to this school every year and when he hears about this he is going to –"

She is cut off by Rosalie once more. "Would you just shut up and leave, Tanya? Save yourself at least a shred of dignity and go without throwing a temper tantrum like a five – year – old would."

Tanya gasps in shock at Rosalie's statement, but she does what she says and shuts up.

"Good now if you will follow me to my office, I can fill out the paper work for your suspension." Mr. Banner starts walking out of the cafeteria.

Tanya follows him but stops when she passes Bella. She leans down to where we are sitting and whispers to Bella, "You're going to pay for this you little bitch."

Bella flinches at her words and I pull her into my side. "Fuck off, Tanya."

Tanya just glares at Bella and walks in the same direction Mr. Banner went.

As soon as they are both gone, the cafeteria, once more, bursts out in cheers. Everyone is rejoicing in the fact that Tanya just got thrown off of her horse. A few people even starting singing "Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead." I chuckled a little at that.

Rosalie starts walking towards us and I start to speak to her when she beats me to it. "I don't want to hear it, pretty boy." She moves past me and on to Bella. I see Bella freeze as Rosalie gets closer. "Anyone who can stand up to that queen bitch is a friend in my book. I have been waiting on someone to finally pay her back for all the shit she has caused since school began. No one deserves to be treated the way that she treats half of this school, especially you. For as long as I remember, you have never once said or done a bad thing to anyone." With that, Rosalie Hale walks away from us and out the door of the cafeteria.

I just stare at Bella, wondering what the hell just happened. The bell rings and everyone starts to leave and go to their next classes. When Bella starts to clean up and head to class, I gently grab her hand and pull her back to me. She looks at me questioningly. "I want to take you somewhere for the rest of the day." I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't want to go and risk getting in trouble. "Don't worry. I will make sure nothing bad happens to you. I will take care of you, Bella, I promise." Her resolve seems to slowly disappear and she nods her head.

I turn to Jacob, Seth, and Emmett who are waiting on me to go to gym with them. "Do me a favor and tell him that I got sick and went home after lunch, okay?" They look at me suspiciously. I roll my eyes at them. "Look I just want to take Bella somewhere for the rest of the day. She's had a pretty rough day and I don't want her to get too overwhelmed." They nod and say that they will cover for me.

I turn to Bella and pull her hand all the way to my car. "I want to show you the place where I go to think. I think you'll like it." She doesn't say or do anything to show me that she heard me. I sigh and open the passenger door for her and help her get in.

I drive for about 20 minutes until I see the familiar dirt road come into view. I pull off the road and turn the car off. I am suddenly grateful that today is one of the rare sunny days in Forks. Sunny, but not warm. I notice that Bella only has on the small jacket that she wears to school every day on. There is no way that she is going to stay warm in that for what I have planned for us. When I go to open the door for her I tell her to stay there for a second. I go to the trunk of my Volvo and get my football jacket and a blanket that I always keep in there. I bring the jacket to Bella and I slip it on over her arms and head for her before she has a chance to protest.

She mouths the words _thank you_ to me and I help her out of my car. I just smile and take her hand and lead her to the path heading into the woods. I stop when she tugs on my hand. I turn around to see Bella rooted in one spot and her shaking her head.

"Oh come on, hiking isn't that bad. I promise I won't let you fall." I give her my best dazzling smile, but she just raises her eyebrow. "Okay then, I guess I'll just have to carry you." I pick her up by grabbing her arms and throwing them across my neck. I hoist her on top of my back and her legs instinctively lock around my waist. Looks like I am just going to give her a piggy – back ride up through the woods.

I hear her soft protests. "Edward stop. You're going to hurt yourself by carrying me. I weigh too much."

"You know, you're lack of faith in my strength is kind of insulting."

"Edward, I don't want to hurt you. Put me down."

I scoff. As if she could hurt me by carrying her. "You're not going to hurt me, I promise. You weigh next to nothing. Now just relax and hold on to me until we get there." Her arms squeeze my neck and her grip on my waist tightens. I let go of my hold on her arms and move them to the back of her thighs, right before I get to her butt. She feels amazing pressed up against me like this. She's all warm and I can feel the heat coming from her –

Her voice brings me out of those thoughts. "Where exactly is there?" I hear the curiosity in her voice.

"You'll see. We are almost there."

She sighs and presses her face into my neck. A few minutes pass and I see the entrance to my place, my meadow.

"We're here."

She immediately looks up from my neck and takes in her surroundings. I let go of my grip on her thighs and she slides off my back. Fuck. I felt every part of her body just slide down off of me. _Get your head out of the gutter, Cullen_. I mentally chastise myself. Now is not the time to be thinking about that.

"It's so beautiful out here. How did you find this place?"

"One day when I was younger, my sister and I got into a fight. My parents took her side of the fight and I was so upset I ran away. I grabbed my favorite Scooby Doo backpack and filled it up with an apple juice box, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and a flashlight. I just ran into the woods and eventually I found this place. It was beautiful back then too. I thought I was going to stay up here for the rest of my life, but then I ate my sandwich and drank my juice. I got hungry soon after and decided that running away wasn't my smartest idea. I finally built up the courage to go home and face my parents and Alice. They were mad that I ran away for a few hours, but they were happier that I came home in one piece than anything. I didn't tell them about this place. I've actually never told anyone about this place, let alone bring them here with me." I look at Bella nervously.

"That's funny. I can just see little Edward running around in the woods carrying a Scooby Doo backpack." She teased

"Hardy har har." I can't keep the grin off my face.

"I didn't know you had a sister."

My grin drops. "Yeah, um, she died last year."

"Edward, I am so sorry."

I don't say anything. We just stand in the middle of the meadow in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

I put down the blanket I brought and lay it down on the ground. I pull Bella on the top of the blanket and we lay on it, facing each other.

"Why did you bring me here, Edward?"

"This is one of my favorite places in Forks. I come here a lot to think or to just clear my head sometimes." I look up at her. I gently grab her cheek and rub my thumb over it. "Today's been a pretty long day. I figured you could use the rest."

Moments pass by and neither of us say a word. She turns around so she's not facing me anymore. I think she's fallen asleep until I hear her soft sniffles. She wasn't exactly crying because there were no tears in her eyes, but she was clearly upset.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"I am a terrible person."

"What are you talking about? You're an amazing person, Bella. You could never be a terrible person."

"But I hit her, Edward. I hit somebody. I have always wondered what would make someone ever want to physically punish someone else, and now I know why. I am turning into _him_." I don't think that last part was meant for me to be able to hear.

"She deserved it, Bella. Don't forget that."

"Who am I to be the judge of that though? Who am I to be the one to hit her because of her actions? Who am I –"

"Stop. Stop overthinking this. You did nothing wrong."

"How can you say that? I hit somebody, Edward! How can you even look at me right now?" I can see tears forming in her eyes, but she doesn't let them fall.

"Baby, please. Don't beat yourself up over this. Why can't you see you've done nothing wrong?"

She doesn't answer but she rolls over to the point where she's not facing me anymore.

I sigh. "I can still look at you because you're so amazing, inside and out. You are sweet and funny and beautiful and strong. You see me for who I am, not who football player everyone else sees. You see me. No one, not even my parents have ever seen _me_ before, Bella, only you. You never judge people, even when they deserve it. You don't think any less of anyone because of what they've done. You're one of the sweetest, most selfless, and kindest person I have ever met." I pause for a moment as I stare into her eyes. She doesn't believe me. I sigh. "You don't realize how important you are to me, do you?"

"I'm not important to anyone, Edward. I never have been and I never will be."

Anger rages through me. Why the hell does she keep saying that? I turn her over to face me once more. "I never want to hear you say shit like that ever again. Do you hear me? You are so important to me, Bella. Why can't you see it? What can I do to make you believe me? I'll do anything, Bella, just name it."

"I want to believe you, Edward, I really do."

"So do I, baby, believe me."

"I want to believe you, but I just can't."

"I'll do anything to make you feel important because you are. What can I do to make you feel important?"

"I need time, Edward. Time to process all this stuff. It's hard going from no one caring if you lived or died to actually being important to someone."

"Bella, you are so important to me. I can give you time. Just don't push me away. Don't keep things from me. I want to know everything about you, insignificant or not. I want you to be mine."

"You don't know what you're saying, Edward. You don't know me because if you did, you wouldn't want me."

"Cut that shit out, Bella! Have I given you any reason to make you believe that I don't want you?"

She sighs. "No, but you will."

I grab her cheek in my hand once more and I look directly into her eyes when I say this, "I doubt it, Bella. There is nothing you can do to make me not want you."

She doesn't reply. We sit in silence, just staring at each other for what feels like forever.

When I give up thinking that she will say something back she whispers, "I want to be yours too, Edward."

I smile at her, "One day you will be. I am always going to be here for you. _Always_."

She looks up at me, unshed tears completely gone from her eyes. We stare at each other for what seems like hours. I eventually calm down. Just looking into her eyes makes me feel this peacefulness that I have never felt before. My gaze goes a little lower and I find myself staring at her lips. Her soft, plump, pink, delicious looking lips. The thought of her lips pressed against mine takes me back to the football game when I kissed her.

"I really want to kiss you right now." I blurt out before I have a chance to realize what I just said. Her breathing hitches and for a moment I think I have scared her.

She takes a moment to respond, but when she does, I can't believe the words coming out of her mouth. "So why don't you?"

I sigh. "I told myself when I scared you by kissing you that night after my football game that I wasn't going to allow myself to kiss you no matter how much I wanted to. I want you to be the one who kisses me. I need to know that you want this too. Until you're ready for that, I'll just have to kiss you everywhere but your lips." I smirk and lean in to her face. She stopped breathing. I lightly press my lips to her cheek, her nose, her chin, the corner of her mouth, and lastly, her forehead. I pull back, but only slightly. I like being close to her.

I hear her sigh and she surprises me by kissing my jaw. I pull her closer to me. I don't ever want to let her go. I notice the bags under her eyes and realize she's probably exhausted. "Sleep baby. I will wake you up when it's time to go."

I feel her nod and she grabs my shirt with her tiny hands and pulls herself impossibly closer to me. Her body molds perfectly with mine. I wrap my arms around her and pull the blanket on top of us. She needs to sleep and I can't think of anywhere better than in my arms. I set an alarm on my phone and slowly start to go to sleep with the girl I am falling for, resting peacefully in my arms.

 **A/N: Awwe! Isn't Edward the best person ever! What do you think of this chapter? Did you like it? This has been my favorite chapter to write so far! By the way, I do realize that most high school football seasons would be finished by December. For the sake of my story, it lasts all year round. I know it's weird, but just go with it okay? Let me know what you think with a review! See you next week.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! This chapter isn't as long as the last, but I had to stop it where I did! Enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **I don't want to be left behind. Distance was a friend of mine. Catching breath in a web of lies, I've spent most of my life…" – Kelly Clarkson**

 **Chapter 11**

 **BPOV**

 **December 2008**

I wake up and immediately feel Edward's strong arms around me. I slowly turn around to face him. He's so beautiful when he sleeps. He looks so peaceful. I can't help but think about how my feelings keep getting stronger for him. He is all that I think about now. He consumes my every thought, every action.

I stare at his lips and all I can think about is how his lips felt against mine. It had been months ago, but every time I think about it, I can perfectly recall the feeling of his lips on mine. I want to reach out and touch them, so I do. I softly press my thumb to his bottom lip and drag it down. I keep doing this until he wakes up. I can feel his stare on me as I continue to run my fingers across his lips.

"You're staring." I whisper.

"I'm gazing."

I roll my eyes. "It's creepy."

He chuckles at my statement. "It's romantic."

It's my turn to chuckle. I love the way I feel when I am with him. He makes me feel so free and cherished, two things I have never had the privilege of feeling before. I sigh and bury my head into his chest. He smells really good.

"As much as I would rather stay here for the rest of the day, I have practice I need to get to and you need to get home."

Shit. I had forgotten about home. I tense, unintentionally and I know Edward noticed.

"You can tell me anything, you know."

I wish he wouldn't say that to me. He's lying. No one _really_ wants to know about other people's problems. They only say that to may you _think_ they care. He doesn't really want to know, but I desperately need to tell someone. I can't keep living in fear of Phil. I can't even sleep at night anymore because I am so fucking terrified that something is going to happen to me if I do fall asleep. For the past three weeks I have been fighting tooth and nail with the pain pills on sleep. I have barely slept an hour a day since the accident. Neither Phil nor Renee have said anything about it, but I just know that something is going to happen. They don't let "accidents" go unpunished. I am literally living in hell at home. School has been my only reprieve. My thoughts turn back to Edward when I see him staring at me intently.

I don't say anything after that. I merely shake my head. I stand up and grab his hand. We walk back down the trail in silence. His hand stays firmly in mine. I miraculously make it down the woods without any incident. We get in Edward's Volvo and he drives in silence to my house. When we get there, I don't immediately get out. I don't want to leave him.

This has been almost perfect. I only wished I hadn't hit Tanya. I was, and still am, mortified that I am capable of hitting someone. I hurt someone they way that Phil hurts me. I felt like such a monster after it happened, but somehow Edward managed to calm me down. I still don't fully believe him when he says that she deserved it. No one, not even Tanya Denali, deserves to be hit. _I would know._

"So, there is this party at Emmett's house Friday night after the game. I was wondering, well more like hoping, if you would want to go, you know, with me." He looks sheepish.

I blush and shake my head no.

"You've been talking to me this entire day, Bella. Don't stop now."

I sigh and realize that he is right. I have been speaking to him all the time. He just makes me feel so comfortable and wanted. It's hard not to talk to him. "It's not that I don't want to, Edward. I just can't."

"Because of your foster parents?"

I nod my head.

"If I ask them and they say yes, would you go with me then?" He asks with a mischievous smile on his face.

"Well, yeah, but they won't say –"

"Shhhhh." He presses his finger to my lips. "You let me worry about them, alright? I'll take care of everything."

I nod my head and slowly get out of the car. I start to take off the jacket he gave me before we went to the meadow, but he stops me. "Keep it. It looks better on you anyway." He smiles when I blush.

I wave at him from the door to my house and go inside. I walk upstairs to my bedroom and take some pain medicine. I would never tell Edward or his doctor of a father this, but my head is still pounding just as bad as it did when I first hit it. I don't know what is wrong with me. The medicine doesn't seem to do anything but make me want to sleep even though I fight that back.

I don't have long before Renee gets home. As soon as I hear her car pull up, I rush downstairs and start cooking dinner. Renee made it very clear that once my elbow was out of that sling, I had to resume all my work around the house. I get to work on dinner and Renee completely ignores me when she walks in. I exhale in relief. I did not want her to ruin my near perfect day.

I quickly finish cooking and set everything out on the table and I scurry back into my room.

 ****TCWT****

The rest of the school week goes by really fast. Everyone I pass by in the hallway says something about the Tanya incident. Most people say something like, "Way to go Freak! You got rid of the wicked bitch of the west!" While others just merely say, "good job." They don't want to talk to the Freak any more than they have to.

While I am glad that people are treating me a little nicer, I still wish hitting Tanya was the reason behind it. But with each passing comment, I can always feel Edward's hand of reassurance on the small of my back. I know as long as he is with me, I can face anything.

Edward has still made no attempt to talk to Phil or Renee about Emmett's party. It's happening tonight after the game and I am slightly worried that Edward forgot about me. He hasn't mentioned it since he asked me. He probably just realized that he could take any girl in this school. I knew he was just settling by taking me. There's no way that he _actually_ likes me like that, is there?

I am so caught up in my thoughts that I don't even realize that Edward and I have stopped walking. He's staring at me like I am something precious, so I can't help but blush and break his gaze. He smirks at me and I playfully shove his arm.

"Come on, let's go to lunch." He says.

When we get to our usual lunch table, I am surprised to see Rosalie already sitting there with Emmett. I look to Edward in confusion, but he just smiles reassuringly and pulls me over to the table.

"So you two are both coming to my party tonight right? It's going to be lit, man!"

I chuckle to myself about Emmett's choice of words and look to Edward for his answer. Are we both going? Does he still want to take me? Worry starts to build up in my stomach until Edward finally says, "Don't worry, Em, we'll be there. It's still right after the game right?"

"Right, but only if we win. No way in hell, I am going to throw a party after a loss."

Edward rolls his eyes. "We're not going to lose, man. Have I taught you anything this year? Edward Cullen does not lose."

"That's a lot of cockiness for someone who is only a sophomore." Rosalie pipes in. "I mean seriously. Forks High School football has always sucked ass. Just because you guys have won a few games, doesn't mean that you're going to win every game."

"I don't lose, Rosalie. What can I say? I never have, and I never fucking will." I can tell Edward is annoyed at Rosalie's comment. He looks pissed off. I squeeze his hand and immediately his face softens. He squeezes back and he looks to me.

"I was thinking I could take you home after school and I could talk to your parents about the party then? Is that okay?"

I nod my head. Part of me knows that, logically, Phil and Renee won't let me go, but the other part of me is daring to hope that they'll let me. I want to be with Edward outside of school for once.

The rest of the days flies by and before I know it, the final bell rings. I walk outside my class to find Edward leaning up against the wall waiting for me. I walk over to him and he wraps his arm around me and pulls me to him. I sigh and hug him back. My body fits perfectly in line with his. My head comes up right below his chin and my body molds in with his. I don't know how long we stay close like that but eventually he says, "Come on, let's go get you permission to go to a party."

We walk to his car and head off towards my house. When we pull in, I am thankful that the cruiser isn't in the driveway. There is only Renee's Honda Civic parked there. We walk up to the porch steps until I feel Edward tug on my elbow. "Just play along with me, okay?"

I look at him suspiciously, but nod anyway. What is he planning?

We walk in to find Renee in the living room on the couch watching TV. She doesn't even look up when we close the door behind us.

"It's about damn time you got home! I want you to make chicken stir fry for dinner and the laundry basket is overflowing again."

I don't say anything. I am too embarrassed that Edward just heard her talk to me like that. Edward grabs my hand and starts stroking his thumb across my hand reassuringly. Eventually, he answers Renee for me.

"Hello Renee, how are you today?"

I see Renee's head whip around when she hears Edward's voice.

"What are you doing here, boy? Come to accuse me of hurting my daughter again?"

"Actually, I came to ask a favor of you."

She glares at him.

"Tonight is a really big game for football tonight, but we also have a biology test next Monday. I am afraid to say that I do not understand what is going on in class and I need more of Bella's help."

"Get on with the favor, boy. I am losing interest."

Edward dials up the charm. "I was hoping that with you being the wonderful parent you are, you would let Bella accompany me to the game tonight. We can study before my game and afterwards. I am sure you, being as beautiful and kind as you are, can let your daughter help me out, right?

"I don't think –"

"Of course you remember that if we win this game we are another game closer to getting your beautiful face on television, right? A face like yours belongs on television and the only way I can help with that is if I win my football games. I can't win my football games unless I pass my classes. If I can't have Bella's help with school, then I can't pass my classes. Do you see my predicament here? If I don't get your daughter's help, then your gorgeous face won't get on TV! We both know that we would be depriving the entire world of your stunning face, if this doesn't happen." He has on his best please – let – me – do – this – look.

Renee seems to be at a loss for words. She is quiet for a moment until she finally says, "Alright, she can go, but you have to do your chores first." She looks at me pointedly.

I look up to Renee in amazement. I frantically nod my head and rush to the laundry room. I can faintly here Edward talking to Renee some more. I hurry through my chores and cooking dinner. I finish in record time and I walk over to where Edward and Renee are talking to signal Edward that I am ready.

"I'll have her home by 11:30 like we agreed. I hope you have a night as wonderful as you are, Renee." And with that, we leave.

When we get to Edward's car, I wrap my arms around him.

"Thank you so much, Edward. I can't tell you what this means to me." I whisper.

He kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me before answering. "I told you I would do anything for you, didn't I?" He looks at me pointedly.

I nod my head and release my grip on him and get inside his car. We drive to the school in silence. His game is about to start. He leaves me by the almost full bleachers to go change into his uniform.

His game goes by fairly quickly and they win, just like Edward said they would. I can't help the excitement that builds up in me when he finds me after the game. I can't help but notice how good he looks in his dark wash jeans and light blue shirt. He runs up to me and picks me up in a giant hug.

"I am so happy you don't have to go home right now. Let's go before we're late."

We drive in silence to Emmett's party. We finally park at a huge house that has all the lights turned on and over one hundred people outside. I suddenly feel nervous. Maybe going to a school party wasn't my best idea.

When we get out of Edward's car, I tense up at all the noise. The music is so loud and there are people everywhere and we haven't even gotten inside yet. I grab onto Edward's arm tighter and he chuckles at me. "Don't worry, baby, I've got you."

He pulls me over to the front door and he takes me inside. It is even louder inside than it is outside, if that's even possible.

There are bodies dancing and grinding everywhere. I see Mike Newton grab onto Jessica Stanley's ass while she grinds her front into him. I start to feel extremely uncomfortable. Does Edward expect that out of me? I don't think I even know how to dance, let alone grind. And just the thought of anyone touching me anywhere other than normal makes me want to cringe.

I am pulled out of my thoughts when Edward says, "That's sick, isn't it?" He gestures to where Mike and Jessica are dancing. "The way they are all over each other in the middle of a bunch of people, it makes me sick. Come on, let's get a drink. Do you want a beer or a shot?"

The look on my face must have answered him for me. "Okay, no alcohol. I'm going to go see if Emmett has a water bottle in the kitchen. Do you think you'll be okay over here by yourself for a few minutes?"

I really didn't want him to leave me, but I feel the need to show him that I am just as strong and independent as everyone else. I nod my head and he lets go of my hand. I watch him walk off into the crowd of people.

I look around for anyone I might be able to be with while Edward is gone. I don't see Jacob or Emmett or Seth anywhere. I start to wonder around, hoping to find someone.

Ten minutes pass by and I begin to worry. Edward said he'd only be a few minutes, so where is he? I am so lost in my thoughts about Edward that I don't even realize that I am walking into the middle of a giant crowd of people until I bump into someone. Tanya. A small portion of her drink spills on me and she looks up to see that is me who bumped into her.

"You."

I gulp. I haven't seen Tanya sense I slapped her at school on Monday. I was hoping that the next time I saw her, Edward would be with me. _So much for wishful thinking_.

"You little bitch! First you get me suspended from school and the football game, you slap me, and now you bump into me and make me spill my fucking drink!"

By now almost the entire room is quiet. Someone turned off the music and now everyone is staring at the confrontation between Tanya and me.

"What? Cat got your tongue? Oh wait, the cat would have to come near you and we all know that nothing is desperate enough to touch _your_ tongue!"

I don't say anything. I try to turn around and go back the way I came, but Tanya grabs me by my arm and yanks me back. "Leaving so soon? The fun was just getting started. Who the hell even invited the Freak to this party anyway? No one wants to be around the smelly, ugly – ass creature that we already have to share our school with and now it gets invited to the after parties! What a fucking joke!" The entire room bursts out in laughter and my face becomes as red as a cherry. I lower my head in shame. I can't help if I smell. I only get to shower when Renee lets me – which is not very often. I don't exactly have a lot of clothes that I can wear every day either. I have one pair of jeans and three shirts, not even a bra. It is all I have ever had. "Make sure you don't get to close to _it_ either. You'll catch it's Freak disease!"

I need to get out of here. Where the hell is Edward? I just want him to take me home. I can't deal with this on my own. I try once more to escape the crowd of people that has surrounded me and Tanya. Once again, she yanks me back, this time by my hair. I yelp in pain. My head still hurts from my concussion, so yanking my hair does not help the pain factor.

"Where do you think you're going, you little shithead? I'm not finished with you. I think your outfit is missing something and I know exactly what it is." I glance down at my jacket at the exact moment that Tanya says, "This." I feel something wet and stick coat my face and my jacket. She threw her fucking beer on me. I am so embarrassed. I don't even look up at her as I run outside. No one tries to stop me this time. I hear their laughter as I run as fast as I can to the road.

I have no idea where Edward is, but I can't stay there anymore. I knew better than to come to this stupid party in the first place. I can feel tears burning the back of my eyes but I don't let them fall.

I haven't cried over anything since I was six years old. Renee told me that crying was a sign of weakness and if anyone ever saw me cry, they would think I was weak. I haven't cried since. I am not weak. I refuse to be. If this is the only thing I can choose in the world, then I choose to be strong.

I keep walking away from Emmett's house. I have no idea where I am going. I have only ever been to Forks High School, my house, the hospital, and the single grocery store in Forks the entire time I have lived in this tiny town. I am getting myself hopelessly lost. This is exactly where I want to be. Away from everyone and everything in this world.

I have been walking for about ten minutes when I start to realize how cold it is outside. The wind is blowing harshly and it's starting to rain. I am probably going to get sick from being out here. Another 20 minutes pass by and I hear a car pull up behind me. I don't stop to look back and see who it is. I keep on walking and eventually whoever is in the car, shuts their car down and gets out.

"Damn it, Bella. Will you stop walking away from me?" It is not the voice I expected to hear. It's Emmett. I slowly turn around and face him.

"Come on and get in the car, it's fucking freezing out here."

I snort at him, but I don't move from where I am standing.

"Come on, Bella. Don't make me drag your ass into my car."

I glared at him. He wouldn't. I raise my eyebrow at him, challenging him.

It's as if he read my mind. "Oh, yes I fucking would. I'm not fucking playing, Bella. Get in the damn car. I've already had one hell of a night and I really don't want to make it any worse."

I roll my eyes. His night couldn't have been any worse than mine.

"Are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way? Cause I can do both, it doesn't matter to me. Either way, you are getting in my car and we are going back to my house."

I huff and turn around, walking away from where Emmett is standing. I know he won't do anything, so I call his bluff.

Not five seconds later, I hear Emmett come up right behind me. "Don't say I didn't give you a fair warning." With that, he puts one arm under my legs and one arm around my back. He is carrying me back to his car. I can't help but scream at his sudden actions and I am immediately transported back to my first week living with Phil and Renee.

 _It was my first few days in Phil and Renee's house. They had been really sweet to me while the social worker was here, so I thought that's how they acted all the time. Renee even gave me ice cream for dinner the first night I stayed with them! I thought they were the coolest parents ever. Boy, was my four – year – old self ever wrong._

 _The day after the social worker had turned in all the papers that Phil and Renee had to sign to get the money for taking care of me, I saw who they really were. I hadn't spoken a word to anyone since the fire happened with my real parents. I was still too traumatized to do so. So, when Phil had asked what was for dinner one night when he got off work, I didn't answer. He was so angry. My little four – year – old brain was too small to realize that Phil came home drunk off his ass. I don't know why he was so angry at me for not answering his question, but I didn't have much time to react before he grabbed me by the hand and yanked me across the room._

 _"_ _I asked you a fucking question!"_

 _I didn't say anything. I just crawled into the corner and tried to make myself disappear. This only made him angrier. He walked over to me and grabbed me by my hair._

 _"_ _When I ask you a question, you better fucking answer it!"_

 _I finally get the picture and nod my head at him._

 _"_ _Good little bitch. I think it's time you get out of my hair and go up to your fucking room!"_

 _Phil bent down and yanked me up by legs. He put his arm around my back and cradled me a little too tightly to his chest. He carried me all the way upstairs like this. I can hardly breathe. He throws me up against the wall by my bed and I cry out on the impact._

 _"_ _I hope you learned your fucking lesson, girl."_

I don't even realize that Emmett put me back down until I feel the freezing cold ground on my ass. I hear a loud screeching noise, but I can't figure out where it is coming from.

"Bella, hey, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

Oh shit. The screeching noise is me. I immediately close my mouth.

"Good girl. I didn't mean to scare you, Bella. I am so sorry. Are you okay? I didn't hurt you when I picked you up, did I?"

I shake my head no. I still don't understand why he is here, out in the middle of nowhere, looking for me.

"Come on, we're going back to my house. Edward has been freaking out looking for you."

I look up at him when he said Edward's name. Where did he go? Why wasn't he there when Tanya poured her beer on me? Where has he been the whole fucking party? He just left me there, right when I needed him the most. Just like everyone else.

 _Oh no_. He's already done with me. I feel my throat tighten and my insides squeeze at the thought of it. My only friend is already sick and tired of me. I didn't think it would happen this soon. I can't go back to living in hell. Edward was the only thing I had worth living for.

I can't breathe I can feel my whole world get dizzy. I feel nauseous. I feel like I am going to pass out. My breathing gets heavier.

"Whoa, hey, calm down. I don't need you having a panic attack on my watch. Edward's already ready to kick my ass not finding you at the party."

What?

"Come on, Bella. You're going to get hypothermia or some shit if we don't get you out of the cold right now."

He offers me his hand. I stare at it for a moment. _I can do this. Just take his hand_. Emmett is not Phil. He won't hurt me. I slowly bring my hand up to his, but as I reach his hand, I can't help the flinch that comes out of me when our hands touch.

I hope he doesn't notice, but he does. His face scrunches up as if he is in pain. Then, his face softens. "I'm not going to hurt you, okay? I just want to get you somewhere safe and out of the rain, alright?"

I nod my head. I am freezing out here and I can't afford to get sick.

Emmett doesn't offer me his hand when I get up. He doesn't try to touch me and for that, I am grateful. I don't want any kind of physical interaction right now. Not with Phil on my mind, and not with the whole thing with Tanya that just went down.

He leads me to the passenger side door and shuts it behind me after I get in. We drive in silence back to Emmett's house. I can vaguely here Emmett talking on his phone to somebody. I shut him out.

I don't want to go back there and have to face everyone, but I don't have much of a choice. Edward brought me here and he promised he'd take me back. I hope he'll stay true to that even if he's done with me.

"Come on. We can get in through the back." I am so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that we had arrived back at the party. Emmett comes to my door and looks at me. "I'll get you a towel when we get inside, I just need to get you to Edward right now, alright Bella?"

I gulp and nod. I don't want to face Edward. I don't want to see the look in his eyes when he tells me that he is done with me. I won't be able to bear it.

I hop down from the jeep and Emmett tries to take my hand once more. I automatically flinch at his touch. His face drops and he looks so dejected, but I can't help it. He doesn't say anything as he leads me back through the house. People do stare at us as we walk inside the house. A few people even bumped in to me and said "Watch it, bitch! I don't want to catch your fucking Freak disease!" I just keep my head lowered in shame and embarrassment. Why the hell did I come back with Emmett again?

We finally stop and go inside what I assume to be his room. Inside, I find Rosalie and Edward almost nose to nose with each other. I can't help the gasp that escapes me as I realize what we just walked in on. They were about to kiss. He said he wanted _me_. He said he would wait for _me_. He said that we wanted to kiss _me_ and not even a week later, I walk in to find him so close to another girl. I can't believe I let myself hope for anything with him. I can't believe that I was naïve enough to believe that he gave a shit about me.

I am about to walk right back out the door and walk home when Emmett grabs me once more. I didn't expect it, so when he touches me, I screech and jump away from him. I didn't see where I was going, but I managed to jump right in to a wall and smack my head against it. The last thing I remember is Edward yelling my name before my whole world goes black. And for once, I welcome the darkness.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Anyone catch the Vampire Diaries quote at the beginning of the chapter? What do you think happened to Edward at the party? Why do you think Rosalie and Edward were in Emmett's room together? Tell me what you think! Reviews make me write faster!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Enjoy. This chapter starts when Edward left Bella at the party.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **We're being pulled a hundred different directions, but whatever happens, I know I've got you." – High School Musical 3**

 **Chapter 12**

 **EPOV**

 **December 2008**

I walk into Emmett's kitchen to find Bella some water and me a beer. All I can see in the kitchen is empty and half – empty red cups. There are so many people here. I guess Emmett never needed to worry about no one showing up. I walk around the kitchen some more and finally I find his refrigerator. I look inside and all I see is bottles and bottles of beer, vodka, and some pretty hard core liquor. I roll my eyes. I guess Emmett doesn't want anyone sober for the night.

I forgo getting drinks, knowing that I have left Bella alone for well over ten minutes.

I walk back to where I left Bella, but I don't see her anywhere. I figure Emmett must have dragged her somewhere. I walk around the house, but still no sign of Emmett or Bella. I walk upstairs to Em's bedroom, wondering if for some reason he took her there. I open in the door without thinking and walk into Emmett shirtless on top of some chick.

Emmett's head whips around as soon as I open the door. "Seriously dude! Didn't your mom ever teach you how to knock?"

I can't help the chuckle that escapes me. "Sorry man, I thought Bella might me up here. Go back to whatever you were doing." I give him a knowing smirk and start to leave.

"Wait, where's Bella?" He asks, concern laced in his tone.

My smirk drops as I realize that if Emmett is up here, he can't be with Bella. _Shit_. Bella is somewhere at this party all alone. "I don't know. I went to go get us something to drink, but when I came back to find her, she was gone. I thought maybe you found her and took her somewhere."

"Nah man. Rose and I have been up here since she got here." I look around Emmett and notice that the girl that Emmett was dry humping earlier was, in fact, Rosalie.

"I need to find her, Em. She doesn't need to be left alone in a party like this."

Rosalie speaks up for the first time. "Gee Edward. Give the poor girl some credit. I'm sure she's fine. She doesn't need to be babysat the entire time."

I roll my eyes. "You don't know her like I do. I don't want her to be left alone. I need to find her before someone like Tanya does. Sorry for interrupting whatever you guys were doing."

Emmett rolls his eyes. "Give us a sec and we'll help you look for her."

Rosalie glares at him, but nods my way too. "Thanks guys. I'm going to go back downstairs and look for her."

"Alright. We'll meet you there."

I nod and head out the door. I head back downstairs and see a small crowd forming around the dance floor. I dismiss the thought of Bella being on the dance floor and head outside. I walk around the front yard to find her, but stop when I hear a group of people talking about Bella.

"Yeah, the little slut named Tanya told me that the Freak pays Mr. Banner for sex." The guy with greasy blonde hair said. Laughter erupted between the three people talking.

The dark – skinned guy standing beside him says, "I heard that she used to fuck her old math teacher last year, too. I don't understand why the hell people even go near her. I mean, she's just so ugly and nasty. Who would want to fuck that? Nothing, not even sex, is worth touching her for."

My blood started to boil. _Fucking Tanya._ I walk over to where the little shitheads were talking. I don't recognize any of them, so I assume that they are seniors or something.

"Listen here fuckers, _Bella_ does not pay anyone to have sex. She has never had sex with anyone, especially not her teachers. Stop talking about crap you know nothing about."

"Awe, isn't this cute! The little baby sophomore is sticking up for the Freak. He's probably fucking her too. I didn't think anyone would stoop so low as to go for the Freak for sex." His breath wreaks of beer. He and his buddies' eyes are blood shot. _Oh great, they're drunk and high._

"We are _not_ having sex. She is a fucking person not a damn virus. You know nothing about her and if you did, you would know how fucking amazing she is." I look around subtly for Emmett and Rosalie. If this thing gets worse, I could really use some help.

The guy with the blonde hair rolls his eyes. "Listen here, its Cullen isn't it? I think you need to rethink about who you socialize with. There is still time for you to dump the Freak and come be with _real_ people. I mean I know you're knew here and all, but damn, grow some balls and find friends that are fucking normal. You're ruining yourself by being with the Freak."

His comment pisses me off even more. I move closer to where he is standing. I shove him as hard as I can, and to my pleasure, he stumbles into the guy behind him. "You don't know anything about her! She's not an object! She's a fucking person and if you had half the balls I had, you would know that for yourself." I mentally size up the guy and note that he is about my height, but he is built more muscular than I am. His dark – skinned friend looks like a fucking body builder in the making. The girl with them doesn't seem interested in our conversation. She is just staring at her nails like they are the most interesting thing in the world.

The guy I shoved grins wickedly. When his dark – skinned friend helps him get back on his feet, he starts laughing darkly. "You need to watch yourself, kid. This is the real world out here right now. You're mommy and daddy can't help you if you do something stupid like that again."

"The only stupid thing I did was not shove you hard enough to fall flat on your ass."

"I'd watch your tone, boy. You don't want to mess with me."

"Why would I want to mess with guy with a worm for a dick and no balls?" _Where the hell is Emmett at?_

He glares at me. "Look, I appreciate everything you're doing for the football team this year, Cullen, but that doesn't mean I won't mess up your pretty face."

"You couldn't do shit to me. You're too much of a pussy to do anything." He's goading me and I know it. He wants this to break out in a fight. I glance around once more in search of Emmett, but still nothing.

"I'm trying to play nice, boy. You need to fucking respect your elders. That's how the system works at Forks High."

"I couldn't give two shits about your little system. You keep saying shit about Bella and I'll kick your ass."

"I don't think you know who you're fucking with kid. I could kick your –"

"Oh give the boy a break, James. If he's infatuated with the Freak, let him be. It's his reputation, not ours. Besides, I don't want you to mess his face up. He's kind of cute." The red haired woman said.

"Yeah, _James_. Why don't you listen to her and stop fucki –"

He turns to face her, his nostrils flaring in anger. "This is between me and Cullen, Vicky. Why don't you let the big boys handle this, huh? Besides, if you think he's so cute, why don't you fuck him instead of me?" She huffs and starts paying attention to her nails again. He turns to the dark – skinned boy next and says, "I think we need to teach him a lesson on how you treat your superiors, wouldn't you say, Laurent?"

Laurent smiles sadistically and says, "Definitely." They both stalk closer to me and I know they're about to make a move. I know I can't win. It's two against one and they are both clearly ready to beat the shit out of me, drunk or not.

I don't back down from them. I can't let them talk like that about Bella and not do anything about it. As they get closer to me, James gives Laurent this look and now they are coming at me from both sides. I realize I need to make the first move or I won't come out of this pretty. I go for James first because he's closer. I make a quick move to step in front of him and punch him in the stomach as hard as I can. He doubles over in pain for a split second and then he's back up again. I feel a pair of arms grab my arms and yank them backwards.

Shit. I forgot about the other guy.

Once James has fully recovered from my one hit to his stomach, he walks to where Laurent is trying to hold me down. "You little shit. You should have left well enough alone and gone when we told you to fuck off. Now, you're going to fucking pay." I barely have a chance to process his words when his fist connects with my jaw. I feel blood rush into my mouth. I spit it out and aim for James' face. My blood infested spit lands right on his eye. He wipes it off and his face grows impossibly more livid.

"You really shouldn't have done that." He tries to bring his fist to my face once more, but at the last second I move to the side and miss his punch. Instead, he punches Laurent in the nose. I hear a crunching sound and he immediately lets go of my arms to grab his face.

"What the hell, James?"

I use this moment of confusion to get away from Laurent.

"Stop whining and grab –" My fist hits his face before he has the chance to finish his sentence.

"Fuck you, James." I hit him two more good times until Laurent finally manages to hold my arms down once more.

James doesn't say anything when he hits me this time. He just repeatedly punches me in the face. He got a few kicks in my stomach too. I keep trying to get out of Laurent's grasp and fight back, but I know it's of no use.

I eventually hear the sound of high heels clicking on pavement. "What the hell did you get yourself into, Edward?" I can hear the concern laced in Rosalie's voice.

"I didn't do shit. These motherfuckers were talking shit about Bella, and I just–" James cut me off by kicking me in the ribs. I can't help the groan of pain that comes out of me when he does it.

"You just what, Edward? You decided to play hero for the Freak? Newsflash Edward, if you play with the Freak, you're going to get its disease."

I glare at her unbelievingly. Is this the same girl who stood up against Tanya for Bella? "Fuck you, Rosalie."

She snorts. I don't realize that James has been checking Rosalie out this entire time.

"It's about time someone else told him about the rules around here. I guess it just had to be done by someone as beautiful as you, Ms. Hale." James says with a seductive tone to his voice.

"James, what are you –"

"Shut it, Vicky. It's time for the grownups to talk now." He turns back to Rosalie. "Is Cullen here a friend of yours?"

"Not a friend, more of a friend of a friend. I can take him off your hands now. I'll make sure to tell him all the rules of the social ladder of Forks High, so this type of thing doesn't happen again." She says sweetly.

"Are you sure you can handle him? He's a bit of a fighter."

"You have no idea what I can handle." She says suggestively.

"Well, in that case, he's all yours. Make sure he doesn't get in my way anymore or next time I won't be so nice."

"Oh, trust me, when I get through with him, he won't even breathe the same air as you, James." And with that, she grabs my arms and drags me back to the house.

"What the hell were you thinking getting in a fight with James? Do you have a death wish?" She whisper yelled as she dragged my sorry ass up the stairs to Emmett's room.

"Like you fucking care! You threw me under the fucking bus last time I checked!"

"Oh please, Edward. Are you really that naïve? Those guys weren't going to let you go if I didn't act like them! I saved your sorry ass from being beaten to a bloody pulp." She pauses. We stop walking and I catch my breath. "Look Edward, I didn't mean to offend you back there. I only wanted to help you."

I snort. "You sure have a funny way of showing it."

She huffs. "Look, you don't have any reason to be mad at me. I saved you from James _and_ I found out where Bella went."

My ears perk up at the sound of Bella's whereabouts. I completely forgot she was missing during my fight with James. I look at her expectantly, but she says nothing. I wait for her to tell me where Bella is, but she never does. We get to Emmett's room and she helps me sit on the bed. I groan at the change in positions.

"James really did a number on you didn't he?"

"I don't care about myself. Tell me where Bella is!"

She avoids the question. "You really care about her, don't you?"

I nod my head. _Of course I care about her_. She smiles sadly at me and walks away. "Where are you going? And why are you avoiding my question?"

"I'm going to get a towel to get the blood off your face."

I absently move my hand towards my face and I feel the dry blood everywhere. It's all over my face. My nose is still bleeding and I can feel blood oozing out of a cut from my lips. "Damn this hurts."

"You're the dumbass that got in a fight with a drug dealer."

I roll my eyes at her. "I wasn't just going to let him keep talking shit about Bella. I had to do something!"

"I know. I know. Calm down, pretty boy. You're going to give yourself an aneurism."

"Where is Bella, Rosalie?" I seethe out.

"Edward, she –"

Her phone rang and cut her off. "Hey, did you find her? Good. We're up in your room." She glances over at me. "Edward kind of got into a fight while you were gone. Hurry up and get here. He's about to have a panic attack about Bella." She hangs up after that.

"That was Emmett."

"I fucking figure that! Why the hell won't you tell me where Bella is at and why the hell did Emmett leave his own fucking party?" I scream at her. I know she doesn't deserve my anger, but I just need to know Bella is okay and nobody is giving me any answers. I try to get up on my own, but as soon as I get off the bed, I topple over in pain. Rosalie miraculously caught me and made sure I didn't face plant on Emmett's floor.

"Would you sit down? Gee Edward! It's like you have no sense of 'I am seriously hurt and I shouldn't be doing stupid shit like I just did!'"

"Ugh," was the only thing I could croak out. Rosalie helped me sit back on the bed.

"Come on. You need to lie down."

"Like hell I'm lying down in this bed. God knows what you and Emmett were doing up here before I showed up."

She rolls her eyes. "Please. We didn't get a chance to do _anything_ , no thanks to you. Emmett ran off as soon as you said Bella was missing." She says softly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your night."

She smiles at me. "Don't worry. I'm glad Bella finally has someone to look out after her, even if she did cock block me."

We both chuckle a little.

"I didn't even know that you liked Emmett."

She begins to wash the blood off of my face. She leans in closer. "Neither did I honestly. One day he just walked in my life and now I don't want him to leave. He's a really nice guy. I really need a nice guy, Edward." She whispers. Her tone is laced with pain. I start to ask her what she means by that when I hear a gasp.

Rosalie and I both look to the door at the same time. Neither one of us noticed that Emmett and Bella had walked in on us. I can see the pain on Bella's face. I look back to Rosalie and it's then that I realize what this looks like to her.

I turn back to try to explain to Bella, but I am too late. She is already walking out of the door until Emmett grabs her elbow. She yelps in fright and jerks back. I am already off the bed and moving as fast as I can when I realize what is about to happen. I am only a fraction of a second too late as Bella hits the wall and bounces off.

"Bella!" I yell as she crashes to the floor with an audible thud.

I turn to Emmett. "What the hell did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything to her man! She's been freaking out like that ever since I picked her up!"

I can feel the anger rolling off of me. "Picked her up? What do you mean picked her up?" I'm fucking seething right now. Why would Bella need Emmett to pick her up? Why not me? I stand up and face Emmett. I get closer to him to the point where we are almost nose to nose.

"Back off, Edward. I was doing the same thing you were doing. Looking. For. Her." He shoves me back gently.

"Where the hell was she that you had to go pick her up from?"

Emmett's face drains of color. "Ed, I don't think you should know."

"What? Why the fuck not?"

Emmett stands up to his full height. He is now towering over me. I forget sometimes how big he really is compared to me. "Because I don't want you to do something that you're going to regret later!"

"What? What are you fucking talking about, Emmett? Just tell me what the fuck is going on. I promise I won't do anything stupid. Besides, it's not like you couldn't stop me if I tried. Just please tell me what the fuck is going on here!"

He glances nervously at Rosalie. What was so bad that they think I would leave Bella to go do something I'd regret? "Edward, she –" Emmett starts, but is interrupted when Bella gasps.

The three of us immediately back off of her, giving her some space. I still stay close to her, in case she needs me. I take in her appearance as she tries to catch her breath. She soaked to the bone and shivering. Fuck, it looks like she's been outside. It was starting to rain when Rosalie pulled me out of my fight. Why the hell was she in the rain? "Em, go get her a towel. She's fucking shivering." I semi yelled at him.

Bella flinched at the sound of my voice. I feel my heart start to ache for her. I have to touch her, to know she's alright. I can't stand being away from her when she's like this. I slowly reach out to place my hand on her cheek and even though she is looking right at me when I do it, she still flinches and pulls back when I make contact with her skin. My heart sank. That hurt. I thought we were past that, but I guess not. I try not to let the disappointment show on my face.

Emmett finally comes back with that towel and hands it to me. "Good luck, man. Every time I come even close to touching her, she freaks out on me. I don't even know what I did!"

I ignore Emmett. She trusts me, I know it. She'll let me touch her, right? I mean, I've always touched her. What's so different now? I reach in to try and towel dry Bella, but before I even get close to her with it, she freaks out and starts trying to scoot away from me. _What the fuck?_ It's like she's trying to hide from us by burying herself into the wall. She keeps moaning in pain, yet no one has hurt her.

I start to take another approach in helping her. "Em, you and Rosalie need to leave. I need to talk to her. Alone."

"Edward, you don't even know what happened! Look Tanya –"

"Stop right there. You were right not to tell me before. I don't want to hit a girl, even if that bitch deserves and right now, Bella needs my help, okay?"

Emmett nods and walks out the door. "Rose, are you coming or not?"

I didn't realize Rosalie that she was staring at Bella. Bella had stopped trying to get away from me and now she and Rosalie are locked in a staring contest. It's like they're having some sort of silent conversation together.

"Rose, come on let's go." Emmett tried one more time.

She gave one more look at Bella and nodded towards her. She walked over to the door where Emmett was standing and said to Bella not to me, "I'll be ten seconds away. Just yell, okay?"

Bella nods, somehow understanding that Rosalie's words were meant for her. I, on the other hand, am confused as hell. Since when are Bella and Rosalie BFF's?

Once Emmett and Rosalie leave, I turn back to Bella. "What happened?"

She shakes her head.

"Bella, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Once again, she shakes her head. I sigh and look around Em's room for a notebook and pencil. I find one and bring it over to her. "Will you talk to me like this?" I walk back over to her and try to touch her hand lightly, but she flinches back so hard that she hits her head on the wall for the second time tonight.

"Shit Bella! Stop doing that! I'm not going to fucking hurt you!" I yelled at her. A look of panic flashes across her face. I feel bad immediately. I know she doesn't like yelling.

"Bella, hey I didn't mean to yell. I've had a pretty rough night too." I whisper to her. "I will never, ever hurt you, Bella. I swear."

Her face softens and she slowly reaches for the notebook and pencil that I brought to her.

 _What happened to your face? It looks like you got in a fight with a hammer and lost._

I chuckle at her attempt to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I may as well have been. I got in a fight with a couple of drug dealers actually."

 _What? Drug dealers? Was it James? He makes sure everyone in the school knows who he is upon arrival, Edward. He's a really dangerous guy. You could've been seriously hurt!_

"Yeah, I figured that out." I absently rubbed my stomach with my hand.

 _Are you alright?_

I smile at her concern. "Yeah, I'm fine." I see blood on the wall where her head must have hit. "Are you?" I am suddenly filled with worry.

 _I'm fine. My head just hurts a little bit. Why?_

"Bella, do you trust me?"

 _I don't know anymore, Edward. I thought I did, but now…_

My heart clenches at that. She doesn't trust me. "What did I do to make you not trust me anymore? I thought –"

"What were you and Rosalie doing in here when we walked in?" She whispered so softly I could barely hear her.

"What? You think that Rosalie and I were _doing_ something?

She lowers her gaze. "I just thought that –"

"Bella look at me." I gently grab her chin and pull her face up so she's looking right at me. She still flinches, but she doesn't try to get away from my hand. I put as much sincerity in my words as I possibly can. I look her in the eyes and say, "There is nothing going on between Rosalie and me. There will never be anything going on between her and me. I like _you_ , Bella, _you_."

"Then what were you doing when we walked in? I thought that you two were about to –" She sounds as if she is about to cry, so I interrupt her.

"Bella, don't even finish that sentence. First of all, I want _you_. I told you that I would wait for you and that's exactly what I plan on doing, alright? And another thing, Rosalie is in to Emmett, not me. I actually walked in on them earlier." I scowl at the memory. "Let's just say that I'm going to knock very loudly before entering from now on."

Her face lifts slightly. "So nothing is going on between you and Rosalie?"

I place my hands on both of her cheeks. "I swear to you, Bella. The only person I want is you." I try and put as much sincerity as I can into that one sentence. I need her to believe that she is the only girl I want.

"I want to believe you, Edward. I just –"

"Shh. I know. Don't worry about it right now. Let me take care of you." I say, remembering the blood on the wall. "Bella, can I look at your head? I think you're bleeding."

"What?" She lifts her hand to the spot where she hit her head and pulls it back to her face. Blood coats her fingers. "Edward, I – I'm not too good with blood. It makes me –" All the color drains from her face. She looks as if she's about to pass out again.

"Hey, hey, Bella stay with me, okay? I'm going to take you to my dad. He's the doctor who took care of you in the hospital, remember?"

"No, no hospitals." She manages to get out. I can see her eyes rolling to the back of her head. She really _isn't_ good with blood.

"It's okay. He's at home. I'll just take you to my house and he can take care of you there."

She moans.

How am I supposed to get her out to my car? I'm going to have to carry her. It's the only way. She's in no way, shape, or form able to be walking right about now.

"Bella, I need to pick you up and get you out of here. Can I touch you?"

She slowly opens her eyes and tries to nod her head. Good, maybe I've gained a little bit of trust back.

"I'm just going to wrap my arm around your head and under your knees, alright? I'll carry you to my car and then I'll get you some help. You've got to trust me, Bella. I will never hurt you."

"Okay." She mumbles out.

I reach out to touch her, and to my surprise, she doesn't flinch. When I pick her up, she leans in to me and I cradle her to my chest.

I walk down the stairs to find Rosalie and Emmett guarding the entrance. "Hey, her head is bleeding pretty badly, so I'm going to take her to my dad."

"Dude, I'll come with you. I want to make sure she's okay." Emmett says, his tone laced with worry.

"Alright. Come on, we should get going. I have to have her home before 11:30 and it's almost 10:45."

"Okay. Rose will you make sure nothing bad happens while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, don't worry. Just get her some help, alright. Call me if she starts to have another panic attack."

"Another one? When did she have –"

Rosalie interrupts me. "When Em touched her, and she freaked out. If she didn't hit her head, she was on the verge of having a panic attack."

"How do you know about th –"

"I just do, okay?" She says a little angrily. "Now just go get her some help!"

"Okay, we're leaving." I said, becoming a little frustrated.

"Come on, Em. Your car is bigger."

We get to his car and I slip into the backseat, Bella still in my arms. She's not unconscious, per say, she just isn't exactly lucid either. I can barely feel her breathing. The fact that she hit her head twice within a few minutes of each other and now she's not responding to my touch, is really starting to worry me.

"Hurry, Em. I don't want her to pass out on us again." I press a soft kiss on Bella's hair. "Stay with me, baby. Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

I feel her slightly nod into my chest. Her tiny little fingers grab a fistful of my shirt. It's like she is holding on to me for dear life.

When we get to my house, I don't even wait for Emmett to stop and park the car. I am running inside, yelling for my dad. "Dad! Dad! I need you! DAD!"

He walks out of the kitchen where he and my mom were drinking some wine. "What's wrong? Why are you home so early? I thought you were going to be at Emmett's until later?" When he finally sees me with Bella in my hands, he realizes the situation. "What happened to her, son?"

"Dad, please you've got to help her! She hit her head really hard on a wall a couple of times tonight and there was blood on the wall. Then she started freaking out over the blood and just please help her."

"We need to take her to a hospital, Edward."

"No, no hospitals." Bella mumbled out.

I looked at my dad pleadingly. He sighed and said, "Okay fine. Put her in your room and I'll meet you there with some equipment."

"Thank you, Dad."

My mom walks into the room then. "Edward, sweetie what's going on? Why are you caring an unconscious girl around?"

"She's not unconscious. She just needs some help."

"I'll go get her some water."

I walk Bella up to my room and slowly lay her down on my bed. "You're going to be okay now. Don't worry, my dad will take good care of you I swear."

She opens her eyes for the first time since we left Emmett's house. My dad walks into my room at the same time.

"Good, she's conscious."

I roll my eyes. "I told you so."

"Alright son, you need to step back and let me look at her." I do what he says. I watch him take her vitals and look at her head. He wipes the blood away from her scalp to get a better look at the cut. "It doesn't look like you did any permanent damage to it this time. It's only a superficial cut." He tells Bella. "I do, however, think that you need to be more careful. If you hit your head so many times, you can do some real damage to it." Bella nods. "I'll get you some pills for the pain." He walks over to where I am pacing and puts a soothing hand on my shoulder. "You did the right thing bringing her here. Try to get her to calm down and take the pain medicine I am about to give her, alright?"

I nod my head. He walks out the door and I walk over to Bella. I sit down beside her.

"You okay?"

She nods her head. She leans forward and places her head on my chest. I wrap my arms around her and whisper, "Everything is going to be okay. I'll take care of you, don't worry."

"I know."

I hug her as tight as I dare to. My dad walks back in my room and clears his throat. I pull away from Bella. I grab the pain pills from my dad and hand them to her. "Take these, please. They _will_ help."

Bella nods her head slowly.

"What time does she need to be home, son?"

"11:30, why?

"Because it's almost 11:20, right now. You need to go."

"Shit! Come on, Bella."

"Language Edward!"

"Sorry! I've got to go! See you when I get back!"

I grab Bella's hand and we walk as fast as we can down the stairs. I notice Emmett and my mom talking in the kitchen. I completely forgot Emmett was even here. "Come on, Em! I have to get Bella home in," I glance at my phone, "less than ten minutes!"

Emmett shoves a sandwich in his mouth and tries to say goodbye to my mom at the same time. If I wasn't so rushed, I would have stopped and laughed at the sight before me. Instead, I grab Emmett's keys and take Bella to the car. Emmett crawls in the backseat beside Bella. I see him smile his goofy smile at her. She timidly smiles back at him in return.

I drive as fast as I possibly can in order to get Bella home on time. I don't want to ruin my deal with Renee on the first night out. I somehow manage to get her back to her house two minutes before 11:30. I'm pretty sure I broke a couple speeding laws to get her here on time, but hey, we still made it.

I walk to the backseat door and open it for Bella. I take her hand as she climbs out. "I'm sorry tonight didn't go like I wanted it to." I say as I walk her to her front door.

She smiles sadly and says, "Don't worry about it. Shit happens all the time."

I frown at her statement. "Don't worry, I'll make it up to you somehow." Before she has a chance to respond, I peck her cheek quickly and softly guide her inside. "Go." I say before walking back to the Jeep.

Emmett is back in the driver's seat when I return. "You are never driving my baby again. I thought we were going to die from how fast we were going!"

I chuckle. "Don't worry Em. I'll make sure to go extra slow next time I drive with you."

"You better man. You scared the shit out of me tonight."

"Good. Now tell me where you found Bella."

He sighs. "Apparently, she and Tanya got into it at the party. Tanya said some pretty hateful things and Bella just took off running. Oh, and she poured her fucking beer on Bella, twice. I found Bella about three miles away from my house, walking in the freezing cold rain. I was surprised she didn't get hypothermia from walking in this weather. I mean I can barely go outside in sweatpants and a thick coat and not be freezing in this kind of weather. All she was in was a tiny little jacket and some jeans. She must have been free –"

"I get it man. Move on to the rest of the story." I interrupt.

"Okay, Mr. Sassypants."

I roll my eyes at his antics.

"Well I finally found her walking on the road and I got out of the car. She wouldn't even get in the car. I would've taken her wherever she needed to go, but she was just so stubborn. I finally went over to her and I picked her up and she just started to freak out. I put her back down and she continued to scream. I've never seen anything like it, man. I think she has some serious stuff going on if something that simple freaks her out like that."

"I know. I just wish she would tell me."

"She talks to you?"

"A little bit, yeah. I think she trusts me."

"What I would do to make her trust me, man. I just feel so sorry for her. I want to make up for seeing her get teased all the time and never doing anything to stop it. I knew it was wrong and I did nothing. I'm such a bad person." He hangs his head in shame.

"Emmett, you could never be a bad person."

He ignores me and continues with his story. "When she final calmed down, I talked her into coming back to the house and seeing you. She reluctantly agreed and I brought her back. I think you can figure out the rest of the story from there."

We pull up to Emmett's house and the party is in full swing still. I head over to my car and turn to talk to Emmett one last time. "Dude, you are seriously one of the few genuinely good guys in this school. If you want to make something up to Bella, start by being her friend first. She needs all the friends she can get."

He merely nods his head and walks off. I sigh and get into my car. I drive home thinking about everything that happened tonight. I got beat up by a couple of drug dealers. I almost lost Bella. I saw her pass out and have a panic attack. I kissed her again. Several times. Words can't describe how good her skin feels under my lips.

I pull into my driveway and get out. I walk into my house to find my mom and dad sitting at the kitchen table waiting on me.

"Did you get her home in time, Edward?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, we made it. I'm really tired guys. I'm just going to go to bed. Love you guys."

"Son wait." My dad said. "This girl has been coming up a lot lately. Is she important to you?" I feel my face heat up. I'm blushing like a little school girl.

"Yeah. She is."

"She's not going to get in the way of football, is she?" My dad asks pointedly.

I sigh. Of course that's all he cares about. It's all he ever cares about.

"No, she won't."

"Good. I know how hard you've worked for this championship, son. I would hate for a girl to get in the way of your dreams."

My mom answers for me. "Oh, Carlisle, let him have fun with this girl. I need grandbabies someday, you know."

"Ma." I whine.

"Oh, don't ruin my fun."

"But it's not even like that."

She smirks at me. "Not yet at least."

I blush even more. _I really need to get that under control_. I don't say anything. I just start walking upstairs when I hear my dad call out. "Don't forget the dream, son."

I sigh. I head up to my room and change out of my pants and shirt. I lay in my bed on the side that Bella was on only hours before. I can still smell her smell on my pillow, strawberries.

I fall asleep dreaming of the brown eyed girl that consumes my every thought.

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you." – Mariah Carey.**

 **Chapter 13**

 **BPOV**

 **December 2008**

I watch Edward and Emmett drive away. I sigh and walk into my house. Tonight has been the longest night ever. I thought for sure that Edward and Rosalie were about to kiss in Emmett's room, but something in Edward's eyes made me believe him when he said they weren't. Everybody always talks about how the eyes are the entrance to the soul and in that moment, Edward's eyes were staring so deeply into mine that I had no choice but to believe him.

The house is eerily quiet when I walk in. I can vaguely hear the TV playing in the other room as I walk into the kitchen. I just want to get a quick sip of water to take the medicine Edward's dad gave me and then I will go to bed. It wasn't until I was about to swallow the pills that I felt someone's presence behind me. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It's Phil. I gulp down the water and subtly hide the bottle of pills in my jacket pocket as I turn around to face him.

"Where have you been all night?"

I stare at him, not knowing what to do. I don't feel comfortable talking to him, I never have. I remain silent in hope that he will get bored of me and walk away.

It seems luck is not on my side tonight. "I asked you a fucking question." He growls at me.

I look him dead in the eyes as I try to think of what to do. I can't just start talking to him out of nowhere. Just because Edward listens to what I have to say, doesn't mean everyone else will. I plead with him with my eyes to drop the subject. It doesn't work.

Phil becomes even angrier. He grabs me by the neck and holds my throat with his two hands. He is not holding my throat tight enough to be choking me, but still tight enough to leave a mark. "Are you going to answer me or not?" His grip gets tighter.

I can just barely breathe now. I start to choke. I am gasping for air when I hear Renee walk downstairs and sees us.

"Put the girl down, Phil. I can't have you leaving marks on her for people to see." She says slightly aggravated.

"Why the hell would anyone care if I leave marks on her? It's not like anyone cares about her." He spits out, his grip on my throat never loosening.

"The boy that's going to get me on television and to do that, he needs her help in school. The girl tutors him. She is to be with him every Friday until 11:30 P.M. until he gets me on TV. The boy and I made a deal earlier today."

I look to Renee in surprise. She is letting me hang out with Edward _every_ Friday?

Phil's grip on my throat loosens slightly. "You say this boy is going to get you on TV?"

"Yes, Phil. You know that's been my dream for forever." Renee whines.

"And letting this bitch tutor the kid is helping you with your dream?"

"Yes. But, if you don't let go of her right now, then someone, probably that boy, is going to notice the marks on her neck. Then, my plan to get on TV will be ruined! I can't get on TV if we get in trouble for hurting this bitch! As much as I know the girl deserves to be punished, I can't have her jeopardizing my way to TV." Renee whines out.

Phil seems to ponder this for a second. After a moment, he lets go of my neck. I fall to the floor, gasping for air.

"Alright. No more marks on the girl." He pauses for a second then continues. "At least not where that boy can see them." He glares at me for a moment then he walks to his wife. "You know I'd do anything for you."

Renee smiles and takes his hand. They walk up the stairs and up to their bedroom.

Relief floods through me. Did I just hear what I think I heard? Did Phil just agree to stop hurting me? Did Renee, of all people, just tell him to do it? I could cry tears of joy as the realization hits me. _I'm free_. Free from Phil's constant tantrums and angry spells. Free from the constant hitting and abuse from Phil. All because Renee wants to get on TV. All because Edward promised her he would win. All because of Edward.

 _Edward_. How is it possible that I went from not having any friends to having the best person in the world for a friend?

I walk up to my room for the night with my mind on overdrive. So much has happened tonight.

When I start to take off my jacket and shirt, I realize how sticky they are. _Tanya threw her drink on me_. I lean down to smell the shirt and jacket. I don't have to lean very far because the stench of beer is still strong. _How did Phil not notice that I reek of beer? Probably because he did too._ I internally cringe at the thought of Phil. There is no way I'll be able to get the smell of beer out of my clothes.

Shit. These were my favorite jeans and this was my only jacket! Maybe I can try and get the smell and small stain out tomorrow. There is no way I can wear it to school if I smell like alcohol!

I sigh deeply. I need new clothes or at least some more clothes. But, how am I supposed to get some? I don't have a job. I don't have any money. I don't have any way to get money. I don't know how Renee will respond if I figure out a way to tell her. I mean, she just stood up to Phil about hitting me. I don't really think I'm in a position to be asking for favors from anyone right now.

I decide just not to think about it right now. Whatever happens, happens. I don't want to ruin this night any more than it already has been. I just want to go bed and not have to think about stuff like how to get clothes when I have no means of doing so.

I slowly climb in to my bed. I try to go to sleep, but part of my mind believes that the moment I let my guard down, Phil will come in here and punish me. I end up falling asleep around 3 in the morning.

The weekend goes by quickly. I cooked and cleaned and kept to myself. I am still very wary about believing that Phil is just going to let me go unpunished. But in the back of my mind, I know he won't. If Phil does anything good, it's doing right by his wife. He loves her more than anything in this world, so what she says goes.

Going to sleep every night gets easier and easier. By the time Monday morning rolls around, I feel as if I have slept more than Sleeping Beauty did.

Edward is patiently waiting for me outside his car when he comes to pick me up. I run over to him and wrap my arms around him. He squeezes me back, but eventually lets me go.

"Where's your jacket, Bella? It's like twenty degrees out here and it supposed to snow tomorrow! You're going to freeze!"

I sigh. I wasn't able to get the smell of beer out of any of my clothes from Friday night. Now I don't have a jacket for winter and I only have two pairs of jeans and one t – shirt left in my closet.

When I don't say anything, Edward sighs and takes his jacket off. He places it around my shoulders. "I wish you would talk to me about these things, you know. I would never judge you, Bella."

I don't say anything. He walks me to the passenger side of the car and opens the door.

We drive in silence to school. We stay in the parking lot like we have been for the past three weeks. Edward doesn't need my help in class anymore, but neither one of us want to stop having alone time together.

Wanting to get rid of some of the tension in the car, I ask Edward the question that has been burning the back of my mind since Friday night. "How did you get Renee to let you steal me every Friday night?"

He looks over to me, studying my face. "I did what I do best."

"And what's that?" I ask, confused.

"I charmed her. I'm pretty sure I could steal you from them completely and she would say yes. I have her wrapped around my little finger." He says with a smirk.

I chuckle a little and turn away. Renee would give me away to Edward if it meant she would still keep the foster parent checks that come in the mail. She'd be happy to hand me over to someone else. To let me be someone else's problem. I sigh.

We talk about random things until school starts.

When we walked in the building, everyone stared at me. I don't think I fully grasped how many people were at Emmett's party until I walked through the doors of the school. Everywhere I walked, I heard someone laugh or say something about me. I hang my head in shame. Edward stops walking in the hallway. He grabs my hand and shouts to everyone in the hallway, "Shut the fuck up! Don't you people have anything better to do?"

And with that, the laughs and taunting got quieter and quieter throughout the day.

 **One week later.**

Edward and I are in his car at the parking lot waiting for school to start.

"Tell me something no one else knows about you." I say quietly.

"Hmm. Let me think." He stares into space for a few minutes and then he finally says, "Okay, I've got a story. You have to pinky promise that you won't tell anyone." I laugh at his words, but agree. "Okay, good. When Alice and I were little, we were literally attached by the hip to each other. We did everything together. We would always play together at home and she would always bug me to play dress up with her. Well, one day I gave into her whining and let her dress me up. We put on her old Halloween costumes, so I ended up being Cinderella and she was Tinkerbell because she was so short. I remember letting her put our mom's makeup on me. I remember her making me dance around with her like I was a fucking princess." We both chuckle at that.

"Then I also remember her saying that my hair was the wrong color and size for Cinderella. So, she went to the kitchen and grabbed some scissors and food coloring. I don't think I'd ever been so scared for my life. I let my pixie of a little sister die my hair and cut it at the same time. I remember when my dad got home and saw what had happened with my hair. Alice started to tear up because she thought she was going to get in trouble. Neither one of us had ever seen my dad so mad. When he asked about what happened, I stepped in and told him that I did everything. To say my dad was shocked, was to say the least. At the time I thought he had believed me, but looking back now, I know he didn't. It doesn't matter though. I became my sister's hero that day. We had always been best friends, but there was something about my green hair and bald spot in the back of my head that made us even closer."

I smile at his story. I wish I had normal stories like that to tell people, but instead all I have is getting beat nearly to death by Phil.

"Your sister sounds amazing, Edward. I wish I had gotten the chance to meet her."

"She would've really liked you, Bella. Especially because you make me happy." I smile at the sincerity of his words. "Alright. Your turn. What's something no one else knows about you?"

I freeze at the question. A million things running through my mind. _Phil hits me. Renee lets him. Renee just sits there and laughs when he does it. My parents tried to kill me when I was three years old. Sometimes I wish they had succeeded._

Edward notices my reaction and changes the question. "Okay. How about this one. What is your favorite childhood memory?"

I immediately know what I want to say. "The first day that I started to live with Phil and Renee, they let me have ice cream for dinner." I say with a smile on my face.

Edward smiles at me. "That's a great memory, Bella. My parents always used to let Alice and I eat cookies on Christmas morning for breakfast." He pauses. "What are you doing for Christmas, Bella?"

I sigh. Phil and Renee normally go out and rent a hotel in Seattle for the weekend and I get stuck at home all by myself without food on Christmas. I can't tell Edward this though. I make something up in my head to appease him. I plaster what I hope is a convincing smile on my face and say, "Renee always cooks a nice dinner and Phil gives me fifty dollars to do whatever with. They've never really been into the whole holiday thing."

His smile turns into a frown. "I wish you wouldn't lie to me, Bella. You're terrible at it. You can trust me, you know."

I sigh. The car gets quiet for a few moments. The tension is palpable.

Edward is the one who finally breaks it. "If you could ask one wish, what would you wish for?" He asks.

I think about it for a moment. What _would_ I wish for? What else could I need? Phil has stopped hitting me. I actually _have_ friends now. I'm eating on a regular basis. What else do I need to be happy? I really think for a moment. Then, the answer hits me. My face must have shown Edward that I had answer.

"So what would you wish for?" He asks once more, his voice hopeful. My face falls. I can't tell him this. It's too personal. It's too deep. He'd treat me differently if he knew that this is what I wanted. I think of something else to tell him quickly.

"Uhm, a dog. I would wish for a dog."

Edward's eyes narrow. He knows I'm lying. I turn my face away from his gaze. I can't let him get me to say what I really would wish for.

I feel Edward's hand on my elbow, trying to get me to turn and face him once more. After a few minutes of his constant tugging, I give in. I look at him and expect to see him angry, but I don't. "Bella –"

The bell rings and cuts Edward off. I'm literally saved by the bell. "Come on, let's get to class. We don't want to be late." I say effectively ending the conversation. I hop out of the car and head to class. It doesn't take long for him to catch up to me. We walk the rest of the way to class without another word.

The rest of the school week goes by pretty uneventful. Tanya and her little followers still laugh at me in the hallways. Edward still yells at them when he's with me, but he hasn't said anything about that night. I never told him about what happened to me, but between Rosalie and Emmett, the rumors going around school, and Tanya, I'm pretty sure he already knows.

Our lunch table has grown. I don't think I've ever had so many constant people in my life before. There is Seth who acts like a little brother to me. He always talks to me, only yes or no questions, but he still talks to me about everything. He is such a sweet guy and I am lucky to even know him, let alone sit with him at lunch.

Emmett treats me like I am his little sister. He makes it his personal job to bring me candy every day to lunch. Ever since our table had talked about favorite candies and I told Edward that I had never had a piece of candy before, Emmett has brought me a new piece of candy to eat every day so I can have a favorite. So far my favorite is a Twix bar.

I smile to myself at the thought of Emmett. Lately, he has tried to become closer to me and I don't know how I feel about it. Emmett is such a nice guy all around. I don't want to burden him with all the shit that I go through. I already burden Edward with it enough. There is no need to add another person to the list. Sometimes he makes it so easy to want to talk to him, though. Sometimes I just want to bear my sole to him. He may look like a giant beast of a man on the outside, but on the inside he has such a kind soul. Every day he becomes a bigger and bigger part of my happiness. Well, him _and_ Edward. I have no idea what I will do when Em graduates at the end of this year.

Rosalie and Emmett have become almost inseparable these past few days. I like Rosalie, but I don't like how she seems to see right through me. Every time I flinch I see Rosalie staring at me. It's like she knows why I am flinching. Like she knows that Phil hits me, or at least he used to. She hasn't said a word about it, but I have a hunch that she knows exactly what has happened.

The only person that doesn't seem to like me is Jacob. He always stares at me like I am ruining his life or something. It's really starting to creep me out, but I don't want to tell Edward. I don't want to start something out of what could be nothing.

 ****TCWT****

It's the last week of school before Christmas break and everyone is excited. Everyone but me at least. We get an entire month off of school which means I have an entire month alone with Phil and Renee. Every year, something bad happens.

When Phil and Renee comes back home from their rendezvous Christmas weekend, Phil always seems to find something to be mad at me about. Whether the house isn't clean enough or the fact that I am "uglying up his house by living there," I always come back to school with new bruises.

So while everyone is talking about what they are wanting for Christmas, I am thinking about how I am going to survive. I have to somehow get some food when Phil and Renee are gone. I have to hope and pray that I get to eat when Phil and Renee are at home.

I tune back in to the lunch conversation. Apparently, Rosalie is going to the Hamptons for Christmas break. _Lucky_.

Edward pipes in and says that he is going on a cruise to the Bahamas for Christmas. I look to him in shock. He hadn't told me about that. I guess there was no way that I could see him over the break.

I sigh. Edward notices and grabs my hand without getting out of the conversation he was having.

 ****TCWT****

Today is the last day of school before Christmas break. My stomach is in knots about what is to come in the next month. No school. No Edward. No Emmett and his candy. I am completely dreading Christmas vacation.

Edward and I walk in to the school and I immediately feel a pair of giant arms surround me.

"Get off of her, you big oaf! You're going to crush her." Edward chuckles out.

"I can't! I'm going to miss her so much over the break! An entire month without my Belly-bear! I don't know how I'm going to survive!" I grin at the nickname Emmett has been calling me. Ever since he and Edward took me home after his party a couple weeks ago, Emmett has called me "Belly-bear" every chance he gets. I like it. It makes me feel special.

"I think you'll survive, Em." Edward says.

Emmett pulls back and takes my hand right out of Edwards. He marches me back outside and leads me to his jeep. "I have a surprise for you!"

I look at him, questioningly. He just grins.

He opens his back seat to reveal a giant bag of candy. I mean there has got to be at least 5000 pieces of candy in this thing!

"Damn Emmett! Are you trying to turn her into a piece of candy?" Edward asks from behind me.

Emmett huffs. "No. I just want to continue to give her a piece of a candy every day at lunch. I didn't want to miss it over the break, so I am giving them all to her now."

"Uh, I hate to break it to you Em, but I think you miscounted, by a lot." Edward can't seem to contain his laughter any longer as he finally starts to laugh really hard.

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up, Cullen. You won't be laughing when Bella realizes that I am her favorite friend." Emmett sticks his tongue out at Edward like a five year old would.

"Oh, stop laughing and help me get this to your car, Ed."

I can't help the smile on my face when I realize that for the first time in my life, someone is actually gave me a Christmas present. I wrap my arms around Emmett. He stiffens at the contact at first because my actions surprised him. I've never hugged anyone, on my own will, other than Edward. He eventually wraps his arms around me and hugs me back.

The late bell rings and Emmett lets go. We all rush to get to our first class.

When the lunch bell rings, Edward pulls me to the side and says, "You want to ditch the rest of the day with me?"

I smile and nod my head. He leads me to his car and says, "I thought I'd take you back to our meadow."

"That sounds great, Edward."

When we get to the meadow, the first thing I notice is the blanket on the ground in the middle. _He's been planning this_.

"Edward, what is all of this?" I ask softly. We walk closer to the blanket and I then notice a cooler on the edge of the blanket. _He didn't._

I look to Edward. He's nervously scratching the back of his neck. "I just wanted to show you what it feels like to have a Christmas. You know the other day at school we were talking about our best childhood memories and none of yours were about any holidays. I thought since you didn't have any good memories from past Christmases that we could start our own. Just the two of us."

I can't believe the words I am hearing. He's really thought this out. Why would he do this for me? Why has he done everything he's done for me since I met him?

 _Because he cares for you._ Something in the back of my mind says.

I stop walking. I stop moving. It all makes sense now. The lunch food, staying at the hospital with me, inviting me to the party, kissing me, all the innocent little touches here and there, sticking up for me, being there when no one else was. Something in my brain finally clicked.

Edward stopped walking and turned around to look at me. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks worriedly.

"You care for me." I say, my voice just barely above a whisper.

His face relaxes. He walks over to me. "Of course I do."

"I look up at him. I stare into my eyes. "You _really_ care about me."

Something in his eyes makes my heart break a little. "Bella, I have always cared about you."

"No one has ever cared for me before, Edward. You're the only person who has ever made me feel wanted." I break his gaze and stare down at my shoes.

"Bella. Bella, hey, look at me." I slowly lift my gaze to meet his. His emerald green eyes look into mine. I feel so vulnerable right now. "I care for you. I want you. Never forget that."

I don't say anything. I just nod my head. I pull him in for a hug. I need to feel him right now. I want to make sure that all of this isn't just a dream. I need to know that Edward is _really_ here and that he _really_ cares about me. I pull him closer to me. I inhale his scent as I bury my head into his chest. His arms wrap around me and pull me tighter to him. This moment feels so intimate and I never want it to end. I feel him kiss my hair before he pulls back.

"Come on. Let's sit down. I want to give you something." He smiles sheepishly at me.

I nod and let him pull me to the blanket he has laid out on the ground.

"Are you hungry? My mom made some food for us today, in hope that you would try some of it. She loves cooking for people and she always love their feedback, good or bad. When I told my mom that I was doing this, she jumped at the chance to try out a new recipe on someone other than me and my dad. So, dig in, if you're hungry, of course."

I smile and shake my head. "Your mom knew you were going to do this?"

The way he smiles makes him look like a little boy. "Yeah. She helped me with a lot of this stuff actually."

"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you?" I ask boldly.

"A couple weeks, yeah. Well, part of it at least. I knew I wanted to do something for you for Christmas, but it wasn't until yesterday in my car that I decided to do this."

I start to blush and look away from him. His gaze is just too intense.

I feel Edward's hand lift up my chin, forcing my gaze to reconnect with his. "You deserve to be treated like a fucking princess, Bella. I want to be the one to show you that." I try to look away, but he won't have it. "Please, Bella. You deserve so much more than you get. Let me do this one thing for you. Do you believe me?"

I feel the tears prick my eyes. I try my hardest not to let them fall, and to my surprise, none do. I grab his hand away from my chin and move it to my cheek. "Okay. I believe you."

"Oh thank God." He pulls me in for another bone crushing hug. Since we are sitting down, it's kind of awkward because I basically ended up sitting on top of his lap. Despite the awkwardness, I hug him back just as forcefully. I needed this. I needed _him_.

When we pull back, I notice his eyes staring at my lips. I unconsciously start to bite my lower lip. Once I do this, he looks back up at my eyes. He slowly leans in and I can feel the butterflies start to flutter in my stomach. _He is going to kiss me._ As soon as that thought popped in my head, something must have snapped in his head, making him realize what he was about to do. He moves his aim from my lips to my forehead. I sigh in disappointment.

"Why don't you start eating? I want to go get your presents from my car."

I smile softly at him and agree. I dive into the homemade sausage balls, mini sandwiches, cookies, fruit, and granola bars. I also find some sort of cake at the bottom of the cooler. I guess this is the new recipe that Edward said his mom made.

I am so caught up in eating all this food that I don't even hear Edward arrive back in the meadow. With him, he is carrying a giant black bag that is hoisted over his shoulder. All he is missing is a red suit and a beard and he could pass for a skinny Santa Clause.

"I see you liked the food?" He smirks at me knowingly.

I blush. "Well yeah. Did your mom really make all of this?" I ask incredulously.

He chuckles a little. "Yeah. She loves to cook. I think she went a little overboard with it this time, though." He smiles at me. "Are you ready to open your presents?"

I'm speechless. _Presents_? As in plural? "Edward, you shouldn't have done this. You know I have no way of getting you something. I have no money, no way to go places, no way to –"

Edward stops me by pressing his finger to my lips. "I didn't get you these so you would get me something, Bella. I did this because I wanted to. I want to show you that you are cared about and wanted. I wanted to show you what Christmas is supposed to feel like. And since you can't come over Christmas day, I decided that today, December 19, is _our_ Christmas. Only we can celebrate it on today and we will for the rest of our friendship. That sound good to you?"

I find myself wanting to cry at the sincerity and thoughtfulness of his actions. For the first time in my life, I feel what other people feel every day. "It sounds incredible, Edward. No one has ever done anything this nice for me before. I can't tell you how much this means to me. How much _you_ mean to me. Thank you."

He smiles. "You're welcome, Bella. Now come on, let's open up your presents."

He hands me a bag that is very heavy. "Be careful, there is a lot of stuff in this one."

I eye him suspiciously. I put the bag on the ground and take the first thing I find out of it. I pull it out and look at it. _It's a winter jacket_. Not like the tiny jacket I have that hardly keeps me warm, but a big, fluffy one that you see in movies about eskimos.

I pause and look at Edward. "Keep going." He encourages. His smile broadens at my reaction to the next things I pull out of the bag. I pull out ten pairs of jeans that look like they would fit me perfectly. I pull out at least 15 different shirts. Some of them were t –shirts. Some were dress shirts. I even think I saw a couple tank tops in there for the rare sunny days in Forks. The next thing I pull out shocks me. I pull out a separate bag inside the big bag that is filled with of bras and panties. _How did he know?_ How could he have possibly known about my need for clothes?

"Edward –"

He interrupts me. "Don't say anything yet, there's more."

 _More? What else did he get me?_ He pulls out a box that is wrapped very badly. "Sorry, about the wrapping. It was like 2 o'clock in the morning when I finished wrapping all this stuff."

I smile at him and continue to open the next present. Shoes. He got me a new pair of shoes. So many emotions wash over me in that moment. Before I realize what happened, I feel something wet on my face.

"Hey. If you don't like them, I can take them back and get a different pair. I just kind of guessed on what you might want. Don't cry, Bella."

"I'm sorry. I never cry. It's just that this is the single most amazing gift that anyone has ever gotten me, Edward. I've never really had a real Christmas before and so this is all really knew to me and I don't know how to react. I can never repay you for your kindness towards me, Edward."

He leans over to me and wipes the tears off my face with his thumb. "You deserve to be treated like this all the time. I will always treat you like the amazing person you are. Never doubt that." He presses a light kiss to my forehead. "Come on, there is still more stuff in there."

I smile at him and reach back down the bag. I bring up what looks like a makeup bag. Inside I find makeup, Chap Stick, lotion, perfume, a hairbrush, and a pack of hair bows.

"My mom said that all girls like stuff like that. I never would have known, but I thought you would like it."

"I do, Edward. Thank you so much."

"There is actually one more thing in the bag, Bella."

 _What_? He's given me everything I could ever want and then some. What more could there possibly be?

I reach down the bag and at the very bottom of it is a piece of clothing. I pull it out thinking that a shirt just fell to the bottom of the bag, but instead I find a jersey. It has the number four on the front and the back, and Cullen written on the back of it.

"It was my first high school jersey. I out grew it, but I thought you could probably fit in it. If you want, you know. It doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to mean. I just thought I'd give you a part of me that you can always have when we're not with each other."

"I love it, Edward."

The smile on his face makes something click in my head. Before I realize what I'm doing, I crash my lips to his.

 **A/N: Little bit of a cliffe, but hey, I think I deserve it after how long these past few chapters have been. I wish I had an Edward who would give me presents like that. I love Emmett and Bella's friendship. I think it's so cute! Thanks for reading! What did ya'll think? Leave your opinion in a review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Keep in mind when reading this chapter that Edward is only a sophomore in high school and only 16 years old.**

 **"** **I miss you. I miss your smile and I still shed a tear every once in a while." – Miley Cyrus**

Chapter 14

EPOV

December 2008

I can't remember how long we kissed for. The feeling of her lips on mine had me in a daze. Eventually, she pulls back.

"What time is it?" She asks, still out of breath.

"A little after 4:00, why?"

"Shit!" She flies up and starts hastily putting her presents back in the bag that I brought them in. I think this is the fastest I've ever seen her move without tripping and falling over something. The sight of her flinging clothes from all over our meadow back into a black bag is almost comical. I would've laughed if I had known what she was freaking out about.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to get home! Phil and Renee are going to kill me!"

I frown at her statement. Something about the way she says it makes me think she's not exaggerating.

I stand up and walk over to her. I put my hand on her shoulders and run my hands up and down them. "Hey, calm down. I have you until 11:30 tonight remember?"

She visibly relaxes. She sighs loudly. "You scared the hell out of me, Edward."

I chuckle softly. "I'm sorry."

We stand there is silence. My hands still running up and down her arms in comfort. Minutes passed by until we speak again.

"I kissed you." She says, blushing.

I smile and bring myself closer to her. I move my hands so that they are wrapped around her waist, pulling her towards me. "You did."

"You kissed me back."

I smirk at her this time. "I did."

She wraps her arms around my neck and she buries her head in the crook of my neck. "I don't know what came over me."

I gently pull her face away from my neck so I can look her in the eyes. "Do you regret it? Kissing me?"

She doesn't hesitate. "No."

I smile and I press my lips to hers. I can feel her smile into the kiss as well.

"Let's sit back down."

"Alright." She smiles. I lead her back to the blanket.

We talked mindlessly for a few more hours. When I noticed Bella yawning, I suggested that I take her home so she can sleep. She agreed and we gathered her things and went back to my car.

When I pull into her driveway, I turn off my car, knowing that we will talk more before she goes inside.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning. The cruise doesn't actually start until December 22nd though. My parents want to drive all the way to the port where the ship is going to take off. They said it was for 'bonding' purposes, but really my mom is scared of planes."

"I wish you didn't have to go away for Christmas." She whispered.

"I know. I don't know why we're even going. It won't be the same anymore."

"What do you mean?"

I look down. I really didn't like to think about this more than I had to. "It's our first Christmas without Alice. I don't know how we're going to do it. She was the one who did all the Christmas shopping and the decorating around the house. Every year she'd decorate our rooms on the cruise ship until someone complained about them." I chuckle a little at the memory. "You know, she is the reason that we always take a cruise to the Bahamas during Christmas every year. She hated to be in the freezing cold during such an important holiday. She thought Christmas would be better if we weren't literally huddled together for warmth. She always had the craziest ideas. It's one of things I miss most about her." I can feel tears prick the back of my eyes. I refuse to let them fall in front of Bella, though. I have to be strong for her. She shouldn't have to see me cry.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. No one should ever have to go through what you're going through right now. If there's anything I can do at all to help, I'll do it. I'm here for you, Edward, always."

I turn and face her. I grab her cheek lightly with my hand and lean over the console. "I know." I lightly press my lips to hers.

She sighs. "I should go inside now. I'll see you after break, right?"

"Of course. I'm only a phone call away too, Bella. If you need anything. If anything happens."

She smiles sadly and nods her head.

"Bella, if something really bad happens, will you do me a favor?"

She looks at me questioningly.

"Call Emmett. If something happens and you need help, just call him. You can trust him. He really wants to be your friend. He'll be here for you if you need him."

She starts shake head but, I keep going before she can speak.

"I'll feel a whole lot better if I know that you're taken care of when I'm not here. Bella please."

She sighs. "Okay. If it's bad, I'll call him."

"Thank you."

"I need to go."

"Goodbye Bella. I will see you next year." I smirk at her.

She blushes. "See you next year." And with that, she grabs her bag full of presents and heads inside.

** **TCWT** **

I smile the best as I can as I get on the cruise ship that I will be on for the two and a half weeks.

"Look at the bright side, son. There's a gym that we can play football in while we are here. This way you don't get out of shape on vacation. Then when you get back to school, you'll be ready to play."

I sigh. Everything he ever talks to me about is football. "Yeah, that sounds great, Dad."

"As soon as we get our luggage to the room, how about we go check it out? Play now, work out, then a cool down run around the ship."

I cringe inside. I was really hoping to get away from football for a while, but what else do I expect from the man who sees me as a football player instead of his son?

"Yeah, Dad, it'll be great." I grit out.

We get to our rooms – my parents have their room and I have my own – and unpack. I change into some basketball shorts and a cut off t-shirt for my workout with my Dad. I walk over to where our rooms connect through the bathroom to see if he is ready to go. I find him waiting for me in clothes similar to mine.

"You ready?"

I sigh. I just want to get this over with. "Yeah, let's go."

The workout was intense. I feel every bone in my body protest as I make my last lap around the cruise ship. We don't even run this much or go this hard in practice.

As I come around the corner, I notice a wet floor sign on the ground, but I ignore it. This is a cruise ship for goodness sake – there is water everywhere. I make the last turn and I see my Dad waiting on me by our starting point. About 10 feet away from him, I lose my footing. I slip on some water and crash to the ground. I hear my ankle pop as I land. _Fuck that hurts._ I look down at my ankle and see that it is turned the wrong way. I try to get back on my feet, but I can barely sit up. Dizziness takes over and the whole world becomes starts to spin.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

I try to make sense of my surroundings as I focus on my Dad. He's kneeling beside me.

"Did you hit your head when you fell?"

"No, I think my ass broke my fall."

"I'm going to ignore that comment."

I roll my eyes at him. "I think I did something to my ankle. I heard a pop when I fell."

His eyes narrow. He looks down at my ankle. "Can you move it?"

I slowly move my ankle around in circles. "It hurts, but it's doable."

"Well, I don't think it's broken, son. I can see it starting to swell. You need to get ice on it so it doesn't get any worse." I can hear concern lacing his voice.

I nod my head.

"I think it's just a sprain. You should still be able to move it fairly easily."

"Can you walk on it?"

"I don't know. I think so."

"Well try, okay? You still need to finish your last lap, son." Of fucking course. Finishing the lap is all he cares about. For a moment, I thought he was actually concerned about me.

"Gee, for a second I actually thought you were concerned for _me_." I spit out.

"I don't like your attitude, Edward."

I stare at him unbelievingly. "You know what? I don't need your help. I'm just going to find Mom and get her to help me."

He huffs. "You know, running away from all your problems never solves anything."

"Yeah well, maybe if I had a Dad who actually cared, I wouldn't have any problems to solve." I grumble under my breath, too low for him to be able to hear me.

I try to stand up on my own, but it doesn't work. I wince as I try to put pressure on my ankle.

"Stop doing that, Edward! You're just going to make it worse."

I groan. Maybe I do need his help.

"Come on. I'll help you finish the lap then we can go back to the rooms."

I roll my eyes and nod my head. He grabs my hand a helps me up.

"Don't put any pressure on it yet."

We hobble to the spot where I started the lap so I could 'officially' finish. "See? That wasn't so hard now was it?" Dad mocks me.

I want to say so many things to him right now, but instead, I hold my tongue. This is _supposed_ to be a vacation. Christmas vacation. I don't want to start something that will just ruin the rest of our time together.

We continue to hobble around the cruise ship until we reach our rooms. We go inside to find my mom in there reading. When she hears the door shut, she looks up. Her eyes go wide in alarm as she takes in our appearances.

"Edward! Baby, what happened? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Ma, I'm fine. It's just a sprained ankle… we think. There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine."

She turns to Dad. "I told you not to push him! This is vacation for goodness sake! Let the boy have some fun."

"We were having fun, right son?"

I plaster a fake smile on my face and say, "Right Dad."

My mom narrows her eyes at me. She doesn't believe me.

"Maybe should go in your room and rest for a while, sweetie. I'll bring you some ice in a few minutes."

I nod and smile at my mom. Dad doesn't offer to help me to my room, but I don't expect him to. He's never been much for sympathy, even as a doctor.

When I get to my room, I immediately check my phone for any messages from Emmett. I find none. I don't know whether to take that as a good sign or a bad one.

A few minutes later Mom comes in with a bag of ice for my ankle. It still hurts like hell, but at least I know nothing serious is wrong with it.

"Here you go, Edward." She stops and smiles at me. She looks like she wants to say something else, but she doesn't. She leaves without saying another word.

A few moments later Dad walks in. _Don't these rooms have fucking locks on the doors?_

"Here. I, uh, made you this playbook for you to look over on vacation." I snort and he walks back out.

No one bothers me for the rest of the night.

As I lie in bed, my thoughts are consumed with Bella. What is she doing right now? Is she on the verge of sleep like I am or is she in pain in her own home? Is she hurting? Is it physical or emotional? So many questions I wish I had the answers to. I eventually drift off to sleep. The last thing I remember thinking about is wanting to wrap Bella in my arms. I want to keep her safe. I want to hold her and show her that someone cares for her.

The next morning, Dad wakes me up at 7:30. "Rise and shine, son! I let you sleep in long enough. Time for your next workout."

"What the hell? What about my ankle? It still fucking hurts, you know."

"I'm going to ignore your language because it's Christmas Eve, but I expect you to still workout with me today."

"I thought you said it was sprained? As in, I need to let it rest so it can heal? You know, like not fucking push it the day after?"

"Stop your whining and get dressed. I'll be waiting outside. Don't make any noise getting dressed. Your mother is still asleep."

I grumble as he walks out the door. He's a fucking doctor! He should know that I don't need to push it!

Angry as hell, I begrudgingly put on another pair of basketball shorts, my tennis shoes and a t-shirt. With every step I take, my ankle protests. I can't put all my weight on it. I really don't think I need to be working out.

I limp out the door to the deck where my dad is waiting on me.

"It's about time! I thought you were a girl from how much time it took you getting dressed."

"Sorry. In case you haven't noticed, my ankle is the size of a fucking baseball, so it hurts to walk."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Stop complaining. It's only a sprain."

I scoff. "It sure hurts a hell of a lot."

He rolls his eyes. "Come on. We're going to jog around the ship once and then hit the weights. We'll save the football for after breakfast."

I groan. He wants to do _more_ after this? I feel like I'm in fucking boot camp or something.

We start our jog around the ship and soon enough, my ankle feels like it is on fire. Every step I take, I feel knives stabbing in my ankle. I don't say anything to my dad again, knowing that he'll just tell me to suck it up. I somehow manage to keep up with him for the remainder of the lap, despite my ankle.

We get to the weight room and he makes me start with bench press. I start off with a simple 200 pounds 10 times. I slowly increase the weight until I max out at 235.

Next up is squats. I look down at my ankle. I can see how swollen and red it is from here. I really don't think I should be working out. I walk up to my dad when I finish. "I think I'm going to stop for the day, Dad. My ankle hurts like hell and I don't want to make it any worse." I turn to walk away, but he stops me by grabbing my elbow.

"Son, it's just a small sprain. You'll be fine. Go do some simple squats now. Just do 10x190 and tell me how it feels."

"Dad, I really don't think I should be doing stuff on it. It really fucki-"

"Stop complaining. It's not that bad. Now I'm going to run to the restroom real fast and by the time I get back, I better see you squatting over there." He gave me a pointed look before walking away.

I sigh. I just want to get this over with and get off of my foot. I walk over there and start putting the weights on the sides of the bar. Once I finish, I take my place under the bar and start to lift the weight on my shoulders. I can feel my ankle start popping once I start to squat. I get all the way parallel to the ground and I start to go back up when it happens. At first, I don't feel anything. One minute I am facing the wall, the next I am staring at the celling. My ankle gave out on me. I fell trying to come back up from my squat. My ankle hurts 100 times worse than it did before. Lucky for me, the bar with all the weight on it got caught

I look around for my dad, but I don't see him. Instead, I see a middle aged guy running over to me.

"Are you alright?"

"My ankle." I manage to get out. I pull my hurt leg to my chest by bending my knee. I've never broken a bone before, but if I didn't break my ankle, I never want to feel anything worse than this kind of pain again.

"Do you think you can stand up?"

"No, I don't. My ankle fucking hurts." I squeeze my eyes shut in pain.

"What happened? I was on the treadmill over there and then I heard a crash. I turned around and saw you on the floor."

"I fell on it yesterday when I was running. My Dad said it should be fine if I rested, but I never got the chance. I told him that it still hurt, but he didn't listen. He is hell bent on making me work out on vacation." I grumble.

"Well, where is he now?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dad came back inside the gym. He saw me on the ground with this man over me and his eyes went wide.

"Don't touch my son! I'm a doctor; I know what I'm doing! He's fine." My Dad yelled.

"If you know what you're doing, then why did you allow the boy to work out when he clearly was hurting himself in the process?"

"He was fine! He told me so!" Dad said defensively.

I snort. The stranger looked over at me then glared back at my Dad.

"I'm going to get the doctor that's on the ship."

"I'll be right here waiting." I pipe in.

He nods. "It won't take me long." He heads out the door.

"Come on Edward, stop being such a wuss. Get up and we'll go back to the room."

You've got to be fucking kidding me. _He still thinks I'm faking this?_ "Screw you. My ankle hurts like hell and I'm going to get someone who actually fucking cares to look at it now."

He rolls his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic. I care."

"If you cared, why didn't you listen when I told you it was hurting? Why did you continue to push and push me even when I was in pain? Was it worth it? Here I am, collapsed on the gym floor, unable to get back up. I hope you're fucking happy."

He huffs, but doesn't say anything else.

The stranger walks back into the room with the doctor. The doctor and the stranger both help me to my feet and basically carry me to the emergency room that is on the ship. My dad doesn't try to help. He merely follows us to the room. The doctor starts taking X-rays of my foot as soon as we get in there. A few minutes pass until he tells us the verdict.

"Well Mr. Cullen, your X-rays show that you have a stress fracture on your ankle. I'll have to size you for a boot." He walks over to me and brings out a few different size boots for my ankle. We try a few until he finds the one that fits me the best. "You need to stay off of it for the remainder of the cruise. If you have to move around, use these crutches. I'm also giving you a couple of narcotics for your pain." I nod my head. I'm still fuming at my Dad for not even pretending to be concerned about my ankle.

The doctor hands me the crutches and pills and sends me on my way. I don't even look at my Dad when I pass him. I just wobble my way to the door to where my Mom is.

"Oh sweetie, what happened?"

I snort and point to Dad coming in behind me. "Why don't you ask him?"

I hear Dad huff from behind me. I roll my eyes and head to my room.

No one bothered me after I that. Dad seemed _kind of_ remorseful that he pushed me so hard when he brought me my lunch and dinner, but I'm not sure. I stayed in my room for the rest of the day so I wouldn't have to see or speak to my Dad again.

I must have fallen asleep at one point because I end up waking up to my mom squealing in their room next to mine. I sit up and grab my phone. Still no calls from Emmett. I hope this means that Bella is happy and safe back in Forks.

The squealing next door keeps getting louder and louder and I know that I can't avoid my parents forever. I sigh and head in to what I know will end in a disaster.

Things were tense as I walk over to the mini Christmas tree in the corner of my parents' room. It's not because of the incident at the gym from yesterday, but because this is our first Christmas without Alice. Christmas was always Alice's favorite part of the year, and now she'll never have one again. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes at the thought of it.

The awkwardness is palpable as we open our presents. Instead of it being filled with laughter, the room is completely silent. I've never experienced a Christmas like this before, and I instantly hate it.

We each open our presents up. We thank each other as we get through opening them up. I got a new leather jacket, some new football cleats, new socks, some new clothes, a Rolex, an iPhone 3G, a few things for my car, and some cash. All the gifts are completely meaningless. Material things don't mean anything to me anymore. For once, I want a gift that has meaning behind it. I want something that someone put thought into getting, not their credit card.

Sighing quietly, I quietly thank them for my gifts and hobble back to my room. I'm still angry at my Dad about what happened yesterday.

They leave me alone until dinner time. Another tradition we have is that we eat a huge Christmas dinner at night. I dress in the nicest clothes that I brought on the cruise and wobble over to my parents' room. They say that we are going to the main dining hall to eat. We all walk there in a creepy silence. We get our food and no one says a word. Everything is tense. We're all thinking the same thing: Alice should be here.

Eventually, I decide I can't take the silence anymore and speak up. Taking Bella's advice, I tell my Dad how I feel about football. "So I was thinking that I might not play football next year…"

My Dad drops his silverware on his plate. "Why on earth would you say something stupid like that?"

"Because it's true and it's not stupid. I'm kind of tired of football anyways." I mutter.

"Where is this coming from, sweetie? I thought you loved football." My mom says sympathetically.

"I just want to see if I am capable of anything else other than football." I say quietly. I start to explain when Dad interrupts me.

"No, I'll tell you where this is coming from. It's that girl that keeps popping up every time we turn around. Is she the one telling you to quit football? Is that it, son? I'll tell her to piss off if you need me to." Dad says with conviction.

I huff. He is really starting to piss me off. "No, 'that girl' has nothing to do with it and her name is Bella." I turn back to my Mom and continue. "I did use to love it, but now, I don't get that feeling I used to when I was younger. Things are different now. I want to see who I am without football."

"Who you are without football? You're nothing without football, Edward!"

I gasp in shock at his words. I figured that he would be angry when I told him, but I never thought that he would ever say something like that. I stood up from the table then, knocking my chair out of the way in my haste. "How the hell would you know? I've never done anything but football!"

"I know because you're my son and I know you! You are not capable of anything other than football! You proved that the night you let Alice die." He says bitterly.

I freeze. _He did not just fucking say that._

"Carlisle! That's enough!" Mom turns to me, tears forming in her eyes. No one has _actually_ mentioned Alice this entire trip. "He didn't mean that, Edward. What happened that night was too severe for anyone to do anything about it. Nothing would have helped her."

Dad snorts. "That Bella girl is screwing with your mind. You need to get rid of her and maybe then you'll start acting like yourself again. You're becoming too weak. I don't want to see you with Bella again. I don't like her. You don't want her to end up like Alice, now would you? Dead on the side of the road with an incapable teenager just watching from the side as she dies? Because that's what happens to the girls that get close to you son. I'm telling you this for your own good." He spits out.

I couldn't say anything after that. I didn't even know what I could say. Instead, I stormed off out of the dining hall. I don't want to be near them right now. _How could he say that to me?_ I feel tears prick the back of my eyes. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry_. I force the tears back. I feel so hurt and betrayed.

I get to my room and slam the door shut. I feel rage consume me. I just want to throw something or brake something to get all this anger out. I grab what is nearest to me – the playbook that Dad gave me the other day – and I throw it as hard as I can against the wall. It smashes against the wall and then falls to the floor.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my new iPhone 3G. I hobble over to it and pick it up. I take it out of the box and stare at it. If Alice was here, she would be freaking out right about now. She always loved the newest thing. She always had to have the newest clothes, the newest phone, the newest shoes, the newest everything.

Gah, I miss her so much. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes as it final hits me. She's gone. She's really gone. She's never coming back. This is what my life is like without her and I hate it. My parents only can talk to me about football. All my friends only talk to me about football. All except one. All anyone thinks I can do is football. It's the only thing I can do. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling so useless.

My thoughts are interrupted when someone knocks on my door. "Go away. I don't want to talk to anyone right now." My voice starts to crack. "Just leave me alone."

"Edward, honey." Mom walks in anyway.

I hobble to my bed and sit down, my back to her.

"I know how hard your father is on you and I am so sorry. He shouldn't have done what he did today. It was uncalled for." She pauses. "He didn't mean what he said about Alice either, sweetie, you know that. Nothing could have been done about her."

I snort. "It was more than fucking uncalled for! I don't get him sometimes. He thinks all I can do is play football and it's not. I tried to save Alice that night, but I couldn't. I tried Mom. I really tried!" The water works start.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Edward, but you know that's not true. He loves you for who you are, not because of football." She ignored what I said about Alice.

"Oh, he does? Then why is football the only thing he has ever talked to me about since Alice died? Huh? It's like I'm not even his son anymore. He only sees me as a player. It was always Alice who made him see me and now that she's gone…" I can't even finish my sentence as sobs wrack my body.

"I miss her too, but there's nothing we can do about it anymore." She's crying now, too.

"She was my best friend. How am I supposed to go through life without her?"

"The same way I do. The same way your father does. We get through it together. Family is the most important thing anyone can ever have. I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes, but your father and I are here for you. You can talk to us about anything. You are so much more than a football player to us, baby." She wraps her arms around me and I cry harder into her shoulder.

"Then why do you always take his side on everything? Alice always had my back and now no one does. Do you know how that feels? Because it fucking sucks."

"I am so sorry you feel this way. I'm going to go talk to your father. Calm him down some. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Just lock the door on your way out."

She sighs and turns to leave. When she reaches the door, she stops and says, "For the record, son, I do like Bella. I think she is good for you. I don't care what your father says, I want you to do what you think is right with her. I will always be here for you. Do what your heart says. Go after her."

My sobs get louder as she walks out the door. I can't hold it in anymore. I never cried for my sister's death, and now it's taking its toll on me. Everything hurts. My head, my chest, my ankle, my heart. All I can think about is that this is only the first of many years without Alice.

I cry until I fall asleep. I wake up the morning feeling hungover, but I know it's just from all the crying. I sit up in bed until the feeling goes away. I look around my room and spot my iPhone sitting on the floor. I sigh. I never hooked it up last night. I walk over and pick it up and start setting it up.

As soon as I got my new phone all hooked up, it starts to blow up. I had 23 new text messages from Emmett and 4 missed calls. _Shit_! What if something happened to Bella last night? I completely forget about my own problems with my family as all of my thoughts go towards Bella. I immediately call Emmett back. It rings for a few minutes and then he finally answers the phone. I don't give him the chance to say one word before I start interrogating him.

"Emmett? What's wrong? Is Bella okay? Are you with her? Is she hurt? What happened?" I got out in one breath.

"Hi Edward. It's me." Bella whispered into the phone.

"Bella." I sigh in relief. Hearing her voice for the first time in days sounded like music to my ears. Although, she sounds different – not like she was before I left. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to you." She sounds so sad.

"Are you okay, though? You sound upset."

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Emmett is here. I've just really missed you these past couple of days. It's been kind of hard."

"I know, Bella. It's been hard on me too." I pause for a second. "You said Emmett was there too. Did you call him?"

She sighed on the other end of the phone. "No, he just came over. Scared the hell out of me too."

"He did? I swear I'll kick his ass if you want me too."

I heard her laugh on the end of the phone. "No, don't. He's been helping me. I'm actually really happy he came over. I don't know if I could have gotten this far into the break without him, Edward."

I sigh. Relief floods through me knowing she's okay. I've been so worried about her during this trip. All I want is to get back home, to her. "I'm happy for you. I hope you had a good Christmas."

"I actually did, because of you," she pauses, "and Emmett." I hear Emmett laugh over the phone.

We talk mindlessly for hours. I've missed her so much. I can't believe that she let Emmett in. She's come so far from the time I first met her. From not talking to anyone at all to letting me _and_ Emmett in. It sounds like she and Em have been getting close since I left. I can't be happier for her.

For the rest of the cruise, I spent hours at a time talking to Bella. I didn't once play football or workout with my Dad. I still ate dinner and lunch with them every day, but other than that, I avoided them. They just don't understand me and they don't want to try. I know Mom tries, but she never tries to stand up to Dad about anything.

With the New Year around the corner, maybe things will start to change.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! What did ya'll think? Are you curious as to what happened to Alice now? Leave your comments in a review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **You've got troubles and I got 'em too. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. We stick together and we see it through cause you've got a friend in me." – Toy Story**

Chapter 15

BPOV

December 2008

I walk in to my house, not knowing what to expect. I had no idea how Phil and Renee were going to react to the gifts that I got from Edward. I walk in through the kitchen slowly, looking for any sign that Phil is downstairs, but I don't find any. I continue to head to the stairs, still wary that Phil might jump out at me somewhere, but he never does. I make it all the way to my room without seeing Phil or Renee. _That's weird_. I don't question it, though.

I take all of my gifts to my closet. I'll hide them tonight and then sort through them while Phil and Renee are gone for sure. I don't want to risk them seeing it. As soon as I hide them, I collapse on my bed. I'm utterly exhausted. Sleep finds me in less than five minutes.

I wake to find Phil standing over me. _Oh, God. What did I do wrong?_

"Wake up, girl." He spits out.

I crawl out of bed as quickly as I can without falling. Phil grabs me by my hair and basically drags me down the stairs and to the kitchen. He brings me to the kitchen where Renee is waiting. There are suitcases in the table and I am left entirely confused as to what is going on here.

Renee smiles sickly at me. "Good, you're awake. Phil and I are leaving for Christmas break. We won't be home until the afternoon on the day you go back to school. While we are gone, I expect you to clean the house. I put $20 on the table for you to get some food." I gasp. _They're leaving already_ and _they are actually giving me money for food._ I mentally smile to myself. This break might not be too bad after all.

Renee walks out the door with her suitcase in tote, but Phil stays behind for a moment. He looks at me, a devilish glint in his eyes. "I saw you in the car with that boy last night. You're fucking him, aren't you, you little slut?"

 _Oh no._ I shake my head no fervently. I thought for sure no one saw me. I guess I was wrong. Now, I can see in his eyes that I'm going to be punished. I thought the hitting was over with. I guess I was wrong.

"Are you calling me a liar? I know what I fucking saw." He growls out.

Before I know it, I am on the ground. Phil is stalking over towards me, his heavy boots making thud sounds with every step. He doesn't give me a chance to respond before he stomps on my chest with his boot. Pain radiates through me as I feel something crack. _What is it with Phil and breaking my ribs?_ I whimper in pain as Phil grins wickedly. "This house better be fucking spotless by the time we get back." And with that, he leaves. I hear the engine start up and go away as they leave the drive way, but I stay on the ground.

All I can think about is the pain radiating throughout my ribs. I try to take slow deep breaths, but that only makes it hurt worse. At some point during the day, I must have blacked out from the pain. The last thing I remember is seeing sun shining at its brightest. Then I woke when it was starting to set.

I try to get up, and eventually, I manage to drag myself off the floor. I slowly walk up the stairs and to my room. My t-shirt is too tight on me. I can feel the pressure it is putting on my ribs. I look in my closet for some more clothes and smile when I see the bag of gifts Edward gave me for Christmas. I know exactly what I can wear.

I shimmy out of my jeans and t-shirt. I grab a new pair of panties and bra, and grab Edward's old football jersey that he gave me. Clothes in hand, I head to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower. I haven't been able to shower in almost a week because of Phil and Renee, but now that they are going to be gone for a month, I can take a shower whenever I can.

I set the temperature for as high as it will go and step under the spray. The hot water instantly relaxes my body. The pain from my ribs dissipates. I haven't felt this good physically in a long time. I stay in the shower for at least an hour.

When I get out, I carefully put on my new clothes. The bra feels weird. I've never worn a bra before, and I'm kind of glad that I haven't until now. They're really uncomfortable. I huff in frustration, but keep the bra on. I need to get used to it now if I want to be able to wear it to school from now on.

I go back to my room and lie in bed. Even though I have literally done nothing today, I feel drained. I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I wake up the next morning in agonizing pain. My ribs are on fire. I slowly make my way out of the bed and take a shower. The water feels good on my sore ribs.

When I look in the mirror, I see black covering the left side if my rib cage. I try not to think about it. _Why does all the bad stuff happen to me? What did I do to deserve all this punishment? What did I do to deserve the life that I have?_ Tears pool in my eyes, but I won't let them fall. I'm not going to be weak. I push the bad thoughts out of my head.

I head downstairs to find something, anything to eat. I don't find a single thing. Knowing that I need to eat in order to help in the healing of my ribs, I grab the $20 Renee left me and start the five mile walk to the grocery store. It's freezing outside. I am instantly grateful for the jacket that Edward got me for Christmas. It keeps me warm against the cold as I trudge my way to the store. My ribs groan in protest with every move I make. I force the pain out of my mind, knowing that thinking about it will only make it worse.

As I walk, I mentally think of what I can get with my mere $20. I have to get stuff that will last me the month that we are off for break. I decide on getting a loaf of bread, peanut butter, grape jelly, a gallon of milk, and maybe a small tub of ice cream. I want to spoil myself just a little just because it _is_ Christmas time.

When I get to the store, I grab a cart and hastily make my way around the store, getting the food I need. When I am trying to find the jelly, I come across the medicine isle. I completely forgot that there was over – the – counter pain medicine that I can get. I look around the isle, trying to find something cheap yet effective. I spy a small bottle of Tylenol for only $4.49. My eyes go wide as I quickly grab the bottle and set it in my cart. Maybe I can finally have some relief from the pain.

I quickly find the jelly and head to the front of the store. I just want to go home and take some of this medicine and be able to breathe without feeling like I'm dying.

As soon as I get to the check-out line, I see it. I immediately thought of Edward. The bracelet was the same color as Edward's emerald green eyes. When I picked it up, I noticed that the bracelet was more of a rope. It looked like something a little kid had made, but I loved it. I hoped Edward does too. I look at the price. It's $4.99. I frown. If I get him this, I will have to get rid of some of the food I bought. I look at my shopping cart, trying to decide what to throw out. I spy the small container of Tylenol and decided that I would rather eat than be pain free. I grab the Tylenol bottle and place it on a shelf near the check-out lines.

Items ready to go, I pay for them and start my walk back to my house. It had started raining when I was in the store, so I'm not outside three minutes before I am drenched to the bone. About half way to my house, I hear a car pull up beside me.

"Belly-bear! What are you doing out here in the rain?"

It's Emmett! I turn to face him. I shrug my shoulders and start to walk back to my house again.

"Hey wait up! Don't you want a ride? Your food is going to be ruined if you walk all the way home, you know."

I turn back around. I bite my lip in contemplation. _Should I go with him?_

"Come on Bell-bear, let me take you home."

I nod my head. I walk back over to him. He helps me get inside his jeep. I point him in the direction of my house.

Emmett talks about everything on our way to my house. It's like he doesn't like the silence. I find myself becoming more and more comfortable around him. He's such a nice guy, despite his grizzly bear exterior.

When we get to my house, I mouth the words _thank you_ to him before getting out. Surprisingly, he gets out with me.

"Here, let me help you with your food."

I smile and let him take my bags. My ribs are thankful for the rest. Unconsciously, I begin to rub them up and down with my hand.

"Hey, did you do something to your ribs, Bella?"

I instantly stop rubbing. I shake my head and open the door. He carries my bags inside and sets them on the kitchen table.

"So what are you doing here all by yourself?"

I shrug.

"Are you not lonely?"

I grab the piece of paper on the countertop and write. _Yeah, I guess._

"Anything I can do to help?"

I smile at his kindness. _Don't worry about me, Emmett. I'm not important._

His eyes narrow at me. "I'll be over tomorrow at noon." And with that, he walks out the door.

Emmett comes by at 12:00 on the dot the next day and the next and the next. He says no one should feel lonely on the holidays. Every time I see him, I feel something break inside of me. I feel like something inside of me is turning. I want to tell someone about what is happening at home, but I don't want to burden them with all of my drama. Each day that Emmett comes over, he treats me like I'm someone important. As if I am important to him. Every day, I can feel my resolve not to tell him break away piece by piece. It keeps building inside of me and with every passing day, it's getting ready to explode.

On Christmas Day, he comes over a little later. Honestly, I didn't expect him to come over at all, but he continues to surprise me.

"Hey Bella, where are your parents?"

I grab the notebook paper that I've been writing on the past couple of days. _They always go on vacation during Christmas time._

"And they just left you here?"

I snort. Yep.

"You don't seem to upset about it." He points out.

 _It's just better when they are gone._

"What do you mean?"

 _Never mind._

"No, tell me."

 _Emmett, just drop it, okay?_

"No, tell me!" I can hear the frustration in his voice.

Irritated, I try to get up from the couch we were sitting on. I barely get half way up before my ribs start to hurt. It feels like someone is stabbing me with a knife over and over again.

"Bella! Are you okay?"

I double over in pain. _This isn't good_.

"Please tell me what's wrong with you! I know you did something to your ribs. You're always holding them like you're trying to take the pain away. Bella, please talk to me."

I shake my head no.

"I'm going to call Edward. You'll talk to him right?"

I shake my head. He sighs. "Bella, you need to tell someone about what is wrong with you. I can see how one side of your ribs is bigger than the other. I can see the swelling from here. You keep holding your arm to your torso like you're trying to keep yourself from falling apart. You need to talk to someone."

I turn away from him. He's right. I know he's right. I can't afford to tell someone, though. No one would believe me if I told them that Phil, the chief of Forks beats his foster child. Even if they did, they would treat me differently. They would look at me with pity. I would rather have people look at me with hate and disgust rather than pity.

"Did someone do this to you? Was it Edward?" I whip my head around so fast that I get dizzy from it. I shake my head no as quickly as I can. Edward would never do something like this to somebody.

"Okay, so it wasn't Edward. Was it your mom?" I slightly shake my head.

"Your dad?" I don't respond.

"Does he, you know, hit you and stuff?" He reluctantly asks. I look at him sadly. "Is that why you like that they aren't around?" Once again, I don't answer. "Bella I –"

"Don't." I cut him off. "I don't want people to pity me. I deserve everything I get."

I can see the anger build in his eyes. "What the hell do you mean you deserve it? Nobody deserves to be abused!"

Something inside of me snaps. I feel angry all of a sudden. I have the urge to lash out at him. _He doesn't know anything._ He doesn't know how shitty my life is. He doesn't know how Phil likes to hit me. He doesn't know how I'm a good for nothing waste of space. I don't know what comes over me. I just really want to yell. So that's what happens. "I do!" I scream at him. "Don't you get it, Emmett? I am a waste of space! I can't do anything right! I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm not good enough for anyone. I don't have any value. I am completely worthless. No one cares about me and they shouldn't! No one loves or cares me because I don't deserve to be loved! I am a worthless, piece of shit, terrible excuse for a human being! I don't deserve to be wanted or cherished. I don't deserve to be loved or desired. I don't even deserve the air I breathe. I am nothing." I yell at him. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand. No one does. I start to hyperventilate.

Emmett walks over to me and holds out his arms. "Don't touch me!"

"Shh. Hey I'm not going to hurt you, alright? I just don't want you to pass out on me. Match my breathing, okay? In. Out. In. out. In. Out. In. Out." I focus on the rising and falling of his chest. Soon, I am breathing normally again. He slowly walks over and puts his arms around me. I let him, wanting the comfort. An awkward silence follows my break down. Eventually, Emmett breaks the silence. "Bella, you can't honestly believe all that about yourself, do you?"

"It's the truth, Emmett." "No it's not! You are none of those things. You are worth something. You are cared for. You are loveable. You are beautiful and funny and you have an amazing right hook when you need it." He jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I'm not." I whisper.

He groans in frustration. "How can I say it in a way that you will believe it? You. Are. Not. Worthless. You have made such an impact on people's lives and you don't even know it. You are amazing and caring and wonderful and anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives."

I snort. "If that's true, then why do people avoid me like the fucking plague? Why do people call me the Freak? Why hasn't anyone in my entire life made me feel good about myself? Why do people hate me?" I dry sob into Emmett's chest.

"Bella you are one of the most selfless people I have ever met. If people don't like you, then that's their loss. They don't deserve you. They don't deserve to get to know you."

I ignore him. "Do you know what it is like to be tortured by your own mind?" He doesn't say anything. "Do you know what it is like to wake up in the morning and hate every inch of yourself? Do you know what it is like to live in fear of your own parents? You never know when they will lash out and you be the one that they take their anger out on."

"Bella stop."

I don't listen to him. "I'm a mistake. No one likes me or cares about me. No one wants to be around me. Do you know how that feels, Emmett?"

He sighs. "No, I don't and you shouldn't either. Listen to me, okay?" He pauses and forces my gaze to meet his. "None of that stuff is true. You –"

"But it is."

"Please let me finish, Bella" I nod. "As I was saying, you have people who care about you, who love you, who want you."

I scoff. "I do? Like who? Name me one person on this planet who actually gives a damn abo –"

"Edward." He interrupts me. I freeze at the mention of Edward. "Rosalie. Seth…" He pauses for a second then continues. "Me."

I look away from him. I don't want to meet his gaze anymore. I don't want him to see me this vulnerable. I have never told anyone the things I've just told Emmett. I don't want to know what he thinks of me.

"Hey, don't do that. Look at me, Bella. You've got to believe me. We all care about you. You are our friend. We care about our friends. We would do anything for our friends. We are here for our friends. You can depend on us because we are your friends. Bella please."

I look back to him. "How do I know you're not lying to me? How do I know that this isn't just some sick practical joke?"

He sighs in frustration. "Because you have to trust your friends!"

"Trust is earned. I can't just magically give it to you just because you tell me we're friends." I say coldly.

He doesn't say anything else. We just sit on the couch in my living room for almost an hour before he speaks again. "My dad was a drunk. He would come home from work every day reeking of alcohol. He wasn't much of a violent drunk, but still not a good drunk. He liked to say mean things to my mom. He didn't like me. He hardly knew that I existed, so I never saw the bad end of his drunken fits.

"My mom was a drug addict. She didn't work. She lost her job to her addiction. She was a nurse, but she got caught stealing pills to get high off of one day. She spent all of her time getting high so she wouldn't have to deal with life. She never cooked or cleaned. I remember loving school because it would mean I got to eat something that I didn't have to cook myself.

"One day, my dad came home more drunk than usual. Everything made him mad. He kept saying something about money. My mom was in their room taking a shower when he came home. He went in there and yanked her out of the shower. He brought her to their bed and beat her. He kept saying 'Where's all my damn money?' She didn't understand what he was talking about because she was so high. He finally just beat her until she became unconscious. I was hiding in the doorway when it happened." He paused, tears forming in his eyes. "My dad went to his closet and pulled out a gun. He shot my mom in the head. I screamed at the noise. I didn't even register that he killed her until later. He heard me scream and spoke to me. 'She hid my money from me. I had to get her back.' I didn't know what he was talking about; I was just a kid, you know?

"He kept looking back and forth between her body and me. Eventually, he brought the gun up to his head and shot himself. I stood there and watched both of my parents die in one night. I was only four years old. If it weren't for the neighbors, I don't think I would've moved from the door way. I was in shock. The neighbors had heard the gunshots and called the police before coming over on their own. They say me standing in the doorway where my two dead parents laid. They took me to the police station. I stayed there until my aunt came and picked me up. I've lived with them ever since."

He waits for my reaction. I just stare at him. "I've never told that story to anyone before. But I realized if I expect you to trust me, I need to trust you first."

"I'm so sorry, Emmett. I didn't realize –"

"You weren't supposed to. No one knew. It's my biggest secret and I am trusting you not to share with anyone, okay? I want you to realize that I am here for you. You can tell me anything. I will never judge you. I will never make fun of you about anything. You can trust me."

I believe him. I don't know why, but something in me is telling me to trust him. "He hits me."

"Who does?"

"My foster dad, Phil, he hits me and kicks me and throws me down the stairs. I don't – I don't know what I do wrong. He just –" I can't finish. I feel the tears burning the back of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I am _not_ weak.

"Words cannot describe how sorry I am, Bella."

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault."

"True, but school couldn't have helped either. For the past two years, you've been bullied and embarrassed and I never did anything to stop it. I knew it was wrong and yet, I never stood up for you until Edward came along. You never did anything wrong to anyone and yet you were always the butt of everyone's jokes. You were always the one that got picked on. Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. You're here now, that's all that matters." I smile sadly at him.

Before he has a chance to respond, his phone goes off. "It's Edward. Do you want to talk to him?"

"Yeah." He hands me the phone. I answer it, but don't even get a chance to say hi before Edward starts talking.

"Emmett? What's wrong? Is Bella okay? Are you with her? Is she hurt? What happened?" He got out in one breath.

"Hi Edward. It's me." I whisper into the phone.

"Bella." The way he says my name sends butterflies in my stomach. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"No, I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Are you okay, though? You sound upset." _That's because I was_.

"Yeah, I'm fine now. Emmett is here. I've just really missed you these past couple of days. It's been kind of hard."

"I know, Bella. It's been hard on me too." He sounds so sad. "You said Emmett was there too. Did you call him?"

"No, he just came over. Scared the hell out of me too." I give Emmett a pointed look.

"He did? I swear I'll kick his ass if you want me too."

"No, don't. He's been helping me. I'm actually really happy he came over. I don't know if I could have gotten this far into the break without him, Edward."

"I'm happy for you. I hope you had a good Christmas."

"I actually did, because of you," I pause, "and Emmett." Emmett laughs behind me. I smile at him in return.

We talk for hours. Emmett just sits on the couch beside me, watching me patiently. When we finally hang up, Emmett speaks again. "We have to tell someone about your foster dad, Bella."

I snort. "No one would believe me. It's my word against his. He's the chief of Forks! Everyone thinks he's a fucking saint!"

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

"Yes it does. You don't know what he would do to me if I started talking."

He sighs in defeat. "I guess I should go home now."

"Okay. Thanks for everything, Em."

"Don't forget what I said. Friends are here for you. I will listen to anything you have to say to me, Bella."

"I know." I say and I actually mean it.

"Good." He walks to the door.

"Thank you for talking to me today. It meant a lot knowing that you'd share that part of yourself with me."

I smile but don't say anything back.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

I smile. "Merry Christmas, Emmett."

Emmett comes by the next few days so I can talk to Edward. I briefly tell Edward that I hurt my ribs, but that it is nothing serious. Edward doesn't believe me, but he doesn't linger on it either.

Emmett has literally become my saving grace on Christmas break. He stays for hours at a time everyday just so I won't be all alone. I don't think he realizes how much his presence means to me.

The week before school comes and Emmett says that he has to go to Seattle for the rest of the week with his family. This is the first time in two weeks that I won't see him every day. I feel the loss of his presence instantly. I have come to seriously rely on Emmett as a friend.

 **January 2009**

I didn't get to see Edward until the first day of school. Anxiety builds in me with every moment getting closer and closer to the day when I see him again.

I am anxiously waiting on him to pull into my driveway. It's only 6:15, but I am so excited to see him. I'm wearing some of the new clothes that he got me for Christmas – a pair of dark wash jeans, a midnight blue blouse, and the new shoes he got me. It's not cold enough for the giant fluffy jacket that he got me, so I am wearing his jacket that he gave the first time we went to the meadow. I hope he doesn't mind that I am wearing it.

In the jacket pocket, I have the little green bracelet that I got him at the store. I hope he likes it. He gave me so much for Christmas. I just want to show him how much it meant to me. Words cannot describe how I felt that day, so I want to make Edward realize this.

Edward pulls into my driveway and I rush out the door to meet him. The pain in my ribs long forgotten. He slowly gets out of his car and I pause before I hug him. He has a boot on his foot.

Instead of hugging him like I wanted to, I stop a few feet from him. "What happened?"

He smirks at me and says, "What, I don't get a hug before the interrogation?"

I can't help but smile back. I walk over to him and carefully place my arms around his neck and pull him close to me. He places his hands on the small of my back and pulls me just as tight. I slightly flinch at the sudden pressure against my ribs, but Edward doesn't say anything. "I didn't know if you wanted me to or not because of your foot and all." I smile sheepishly at him.

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"What happened? You didn't tell me you got hurt."

He sighs. "I honestly thought I'd be out of it by now. I slipped and fell on the cruise ship. My ankle went the opposite way my body did. I didn't rest it properly and I made it worse. It's just a stress fracture. I'm fine. I'll be out of this thing in no time." He smiles at me reassuringly.

I frown. I don't like seeing him hurt.

"Let's go to school and talk."

I nod my head and walk back to the passenger side of the car. We drive in a comfortable silence to the school. When we get there, Edward parks in his usual spot. He tells me everything about his vacation while I tell him everything that happened to me while he was gone. I've missed feeling important to someone over the holidays. I haven't seen Em in about a week and I haven't seen Edward in three. Part of me forgot what how amazing this feeling is.

"So, what did you and Emmett do over the holidays?"

"Nothing. We just talked really." I smile to myself at the thought of Emmett.

"You talked to him? Like actually _talked_ to him?" Edward is grinning from ear to ear and I can't help but smile too.

"Yes, Edward _talked_. I trust him." I shrug.

"Good. I want you to be able to trust people. I want you be able to trust me." I don't think I am supposed to hear the last part, but I answer him anyways.

"I do trust you, Edward. I trust you implicitly."

He smiles and grabs my hand. He lightly presses a kiss to the back of my hand.

The bell rings, signaling the start of the school day. Edward and I both head to Mrs. Cope's office for our new schedules. Today is the first day of the new semester. I got lucky last semester and had Edward in two of my classes, but can I be that lucky again this semester?

We walk into Mrs. Cope's office along with the rest of the student population. We get our schedules and compare. I can't believe my eyes when I look at our schedules. We have every class except one together. I have AP English when Edward has Gym. I look to him in amazement. She grins at me and pulls me towards our first class.

"Did you do this?" I ask him quietly.

"I may have bribed Mrs. Cope over the break. I couldn't get them all changed. I didn't think you would want to take Gym and I, sure as hell, did not want to take AP English." He smiles.

I chuckle. I look up at him, but my gaze gets stuck on his lips. He hasn't kissed me since he got back yet. I really want him to.

Edward seems to get the idea and slowly leans down to brush his lips across mine. I smile when we pull apart. He chuckles at my reaction. "We better get to class before it starts." I nod and let him lead me to out class.

The day goes by pretty smoothly. No one says anything to me. I see Emmett at lunch. He gives me an apologetic smile and smile sadly back at him. He didn't ask to know about all my shit, but now he does. I just hope he keeps his promise and doesn't tell anyone.

I spent almost the entire day by Edward's side and it was amazing. He was always touching me in some way. Whether he was holding my hand or merely resting his leg against mine, Edward and I were always connected to each other in some way.

When the last class of the day comes around, I feel his absence. It's my AP English class, the only class that I don't have with Edward.

Walking in to this class alone, I immediately head to the back of the class. I don't want to be seen. I don't want to be noticed. Without Edward, I really don't want to have people around me. I walk in and keep my head down, hoping no one will notice me. I sit in the back and wait for the teacher to come in.

A few minutes after the bell rings, I see a man I don't recognize walk in. He is tall and looks to be in his forties. He is wearing a plaid shirt and jeans and he has one of those mustaches that makes you think of Hitler. I giggle to myself at the thought.

"Alright class. I am your new English teacher. My name is Charles Masen. I know you're going to want to pronounce it Mason, but it's _Masen_. You all can call me Charlie." He grins and writes his name on the board.

"Now, I don't know how your last English teacher did things around here and I don't care. Everyone gets a new slate. I don't care who you are or what you've done, or not done, everyone gets a new semester to make things right starting right now."

Everyone cheers at the new teacher's speech.

"Alright, alright, settle down. All we are going to do today is answer this simple question. Write me a letter in which you tell me what you would like to learn in this English course. If you don't want to learn anything, then tell me that. If you want to learn about William Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson, then tell me that. I am not here to judge you. I realize that English is not everyone's favorite subject, so I want to make this easy on everyone. I hate reading your essays just as much as you hate writing them. I do not care about the length of the letter, just make sure you get all you need to say out. Once you finish your letter, turn it in and then you can do whatever you want. Start now."

I immediately know what I want to write.

 _Dear Mr. Masen,_

 _I would like to learn about anything you can teach me. I love to read. I love to write. I love to learn. I don't get to read or write much at home, so I take full advantage of it at school. I love Shakespeare and Dickinson. I love almost everything I read. I would like to read_ Wuthering Heights _and be able to do something with it. It has been my favorite book since 7_ _th_ _grade. I honestly just want to learn anything and everything you can teach me, no matter the subject matter._

 _I really hope you mean what you said about the clean slate thing. The last English teacher here, Mr. Birdy, hated me. I never knew why. I always turned my work in on time. I always gave him quality work, yet he still failed me. I really need a good grade in this class._

 _Bella Swan_

When the bell rings, I wait for everyone else to leave so I can take my time walking out the door. I don't want someone to "accidentally" hit me in my ribs. I turn my paper into Mr. Masen's desk, I see him staring at me curiously. He's not judging me with his eyes, he is merely observing me. I smile at him and continue to the door.

When I finally get to the door, I find Edward waiting on me outside.

"So how did your last class go?"

I smile. "I loved it."

He smiles back. "I'm so happy for you." He pecks my cheek and grabs my hand to lead me to his car. "I'll just run you home real quick before practice starts so you don't have to ride the bus with your ribs."

I smile sadly at him. "Thank you." I whisper.

We walk to his car hand in hand. He walks me to the passenger side door and helps me up. My ribs haven't really bothered me much during the day, but now that I am thinking about them, they hurt like hell.

Edward seems to notice my discomfort. "You okay there, Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I gasp out. I bring my arm around my ribs protectively. Edward doesn't move from my side of his car. I put on my big girl panties and tell him, "Really, Edward, I'm fine."

He gives me a knowing look, but shuts my door anyway. I pull Edward's jacket tighter around me. I reach inside the pockets to warm my hands when I feel something inside them. I pull it out. Edward's bracelet! I forgot to give it to him earlier. The pain in my ribs all but forgotten as I excitedly wait for Edward to get in his car.

When he finally gets in, he immediately notices the change in my demeanor. "What?" He asks me, curiously.

"I have a Christmas present for you." I say, my grin getting bigger with each word.

"You know I don't expect you to get me something, Bella."

"I know, but when I saw this, I thought of you." I smile sheepishly at him.

He smiles at me. "Okay, what is it?"

"Close your eyes." He obeys me instantly. I put the bracelet in his awaiting hand. "Okay, you can open them!" I say excitedly.

He looks down at his hands and eyes the bracelet. He picks it up and examines it for a moment. Suddenly worried that he might not like it, I add, "I just want to be able to make you feel a fraction of what I felt the other day in the meadow. I've never felt something like that before and I loved it. I want you to feel the same." His face breaks out in a smile when I finish.

"I absolutely love it Bella. No one has ever given me a gift as great or meaningful as this. You want to help me put it on?"

I smile like a Cheshire cat. "I'd love to." I help him fasten the bracelet and whisper to him, "Now, no matter where you go, you'll always have a part of me with you."

"I'll never take it off." He grabs my cheeks and presses his lips against mine. This kiss is different from our previous ones. It's more forceful, more passionate. It's like he is trying to put emotions behind the kiss. When he depends the kiss, a small fear runs through me. _I've never done this before. What if I do something wrong?_

I feel Edward pull back. He looks me in the eyes and says, "Whatever you're thinking about, don't. Just do what feels right." And with that, he kisses me once more. When he depends it this time, I don't hesitate in tangling my tongue with his. I've never felt like this before. It's so mesmerizing. He tastes amazing.

When he pulls back, I whimper in protest. He chuckles. "I need to get you home."

"Okay." He pulls all the way back and drives me home. He keeps his hand on my knee as he drives.

When we get to my house, I kiss him one more time and then get out of the car. I don't want to leave him, but I know he needs to practice. I wave at him as he leaves and slowly trudge my way in to my house.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Do ya'll love Emmett a little more now? How about Charlie? Did you expect that?**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. You guys are freaking amazing! Just thought I'd let you guys know. (:**

 **"** **If you don't want to take it slow and you just want to take me home, baby say yeah, yeah and let me kiss you." – One Direction**

Chapter 16

EPOV

January 2009

As I am about to get out of my car and walk to the locker room, I stop to admire my bracelet. It's nothing fancy or extravagant. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she made it herself. She _did_ say that she didn't really have any money. But, none of those things matter to me. Bella clearly went out of her way to get this or make this for me. Her gift came from her heart, not her pocketbook. I can't remember the last time someone did something like that to me. Her gift is so thoughtful and meaningful. I am suddenly overwhelmed by my feelings for this girl.

I've seen her change so much in only five, almost six, months. She's becoming such an amazing girl. She's breaking out of her shell. She's talking, not only to me, but to Emmett as well. She kissed me. She fucking _kissed_ me and it was on her own free will! She did it because she wanted to do it, not because it's what I wanted. The sad little girl who didn't have any friends is no more. She has changed for the better. I can't be more proud on the fact that I was a part of that. I helped her become this amazingly wonderful girl who keeps getting more incredible by the day.

I can't help but think that she is changing me too. She makes me feel alive again, which is something I haven't felt since Alice's accident. She makes me feel whole again. I knew a part of me was missing when Alice died. I just never knew that someone could ever come and fix me up again, and yet, here I am. I never knew I could feel so strongly about a girl I've only kissed a handful of times. I know I could easily feel something more than just liking her, but I don't want to scare her. I don't want her to feel like she is being forced into anything.

I wish Alice was here. She would know what to do. She always knew what to do. I finally found a girl that I am completely intoxicated by and I don't even have my baby sister to help me sort out my feelings for her.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing. It's Emmett.

"Hey, Em. What's up?"

"What's up? Where the hell are you, Cullen? We have practice you know!" Emmett is using his 'serious football player' voice.

 _Oh shit_. I was so caught up in thinking about Bella and Alice that I forgot to actually get out of my car and go to the football field. "Sorry, man. I just got a little caught up in some things. I'll be at the field in ten minutes."

"You better hurry, man. Coach is going to be even more pissed when he finds you late."

"Even more pissed? What's he pissed off about in the first place? Did he break the scale in his house?" I joke.

"Ha ha very funny, Cullen." He pauses. "He's going to be pissed when he sees you in that boot."

"Then I'll just take the boot off, Em. No big deal."

"No big deal? You have a fucking cast on! You can't play!"

I start to snicker at his tone. He sounds like a little girl who didn't get to eat her ice cream because her little brother stole it from her. "Relax Emmett. The doctor on the cruise ship said that I only needed to wear the boot until the end of the cruise. I can take it off anytime I want."

"Then why the hell did you wear it to school today?" He sounds really pissed. I didn't think he'd be so mad about this.

"I only wore it to piss my dad off. I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure." I say as soothingly as I can. "Why are you getting all worked up about this, Em? It was only a stress fracture. "

"Sorry man. I didn't realize that I was doing it. It's just that this is my last year playing football and I really want to be able to win this year. We kind of need you to be able to do that."

I sigh. Once again, the only thing I am useful for is football. "Don't worry, Em. I can play. We'll win this year, just for you."

"Just get your ass to the locker room, Cullen."

I chuckle. "Yes sir, McCarty." I mock.

He chuckles and then we hang up. I start the short walk from my car to the football locker room. When I walk in, I am immediately bombarded with questions.

"What happened, dude?" One guy says.

"Can you still play?" Another one says.

"Does it hurt?"

"How long are you going to be out for?"

"Does Coach know about your foot?"

"How are we going to be able to win without you?"

I ignore all of the questions and head straight to my locker. Emmett is there waiting for me.

"You sure did take your damn time getting over here."

I roll my eyes and start to change into my practice clothes. When I take off my boot, I gasp at what I see. My ankle is completely blue. It's swollen up to the size of a tennis ball and it's numb. _Shit this doesn't look good_.

"That doesn't look good." Emmett says quietly.

I roll my eyes. "I know that. It's fine." I quickly pull my black Nike Elite socks over my ankle so no one else can see how bad it looks and continue getting dressed.

"Dude, maybe the trainer should look at your ankle. You know, just so we know for sure that you can play. I would rather you miss a couple practices as to you missing a game."

"I'm not going to have to miss any games or practices! I said its fine." I all but growl out.

"Chill man. I just don't want you to really hurt yourself. No football game is worth that."

I sigh. "I appreciate your concern, but don't bother. I'm fine. I won't miss a game or a practice or anything. I'll see you out on the field." I sigh and I grab at my hair.

I finish getting dressed and head to the field. I'm not terribly late – we are just now stretching. I take my place on the field and wince as I put more pressure on my ankle. _Maybe if I just ignore it, the pain will go away._

I go through a couple of plays until Coach stops us in the middle of one. "What is wrong with you today, Cullen? You're slower than normal. You're passes suck and you're favoring your right foot. Did something happened over the break?"

"No, it's nothing. I'm sorry. My head is just in another world today." It's not a complete lie.

"Well, get it together. We need you if we're going to win Friday night."

Of course. No one is actually concerned about me. They just want to make sure I can play.

I get through the rest of the practice without incident. That is until my blockers screw up and I get tackled to the ground. I groan in pain. Getting knocked on my ass hurts enough, but adding to that the fact that one guy landed on my left ankle, makes the pain almost unbearable. When the guys finally get off, I expect the pain to go away, but it doesn't. The pain in my ankle radiates throughout my entire foot now.

"You okay, Cullen?" One of the guys who knocked me down asked.

I take a deep breath and pull myself together. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just not used to getting knocked on my ass, I guess."

He chuckles and helps me to my feet. As soon as I put my weight back on my ankle, it buckles. My face comes in contact with the turf for the second time in one practice. It's a damn record.

"Edward! What's wrong?" It's Emmett.

I groan. "My ankle. It hurts like hell. I – I can't put pressure on it." I try to get up once more, only to be shoved back down.

"Well then don't try to get back up! Just stay down. Coach already left to go get the trainer."

"Ugh."

"Yeah, yeah. Keep doing this 'tough guy' act. You're lucky that this was just practice and not a game! You just barely got tackled and now you can't get up. Do you really think that you would be so lucky in a game?"

"You can stop lecturing me, Emmett. You were right. I was wrong. I should've gone to see the trainer to make sure it was okay before practice. You don't have to say 'I told you so.'"

He snickers. "I wasn't going to say 'I told you so.'"

"Yeah right."

The trainer gets here two seconds later. He and Emmett help me to my feet and help me limp my way to the locker room. When the trainer, Steve, starts to look at my ankle, his face scrunches up in confusion. "Why would you even try to play on this, son? It looks terrible and you don't need a medical license to see that."

I roll my eyes. "Yes, I know. It was stupid. What's the verdict?"

"Stay off of it for two weeks and then let me look at it again."

I sigh. He walks off and I just stay in the locker room until the team gets out of practice. When everyone starts to trickle in, I make my way to my locker ad change back into my clothes. Emmett walks up beside me and says, "You know you're not supposed to wear stuff like that to practice." He points to my bracelet.

"Bella gave it to me for Christmas. I told her I wouldn't take it off and I meant it."

"So that's what that was." He says casually.

"What?"

"The bracelet. Bella got you the bracelet for Christmas."

"She told you about it?" I ask confused.

"No, I, uh, found her walking home from the grocery store a couple days before Christmas. It was raining – almost snowing, so I drove her home. She didn't have much food in her bags, just stuff for sandwiches. She had this little thing wrapped in a separate bag inside a big bag. I meant to ask her what it was, but I forgot. I guess I know now."

"She was walking home in the rain?" I ask incredulously.

"Seriously dude, that's all you got out of that?"

I roll my eyes. "Just answer the question, Emmett."

He frowns. "Yeah, man she was walking home."

I sigh in frustration. "I told her to call you for anything, and yet, she still walks everywhere. I just don't get her sometimes." I bring my hand up to the back of my neck to play with the little hairs there.

Emmett sighs. "I think it's better if you don't know everything about people, man."

I stare at him unbelievingly. "Did she say something to you? I mean I have my theories, but she won't tell me anything like that."

He shakes his head. "Ed, man, there is just some stuff that you don't want to hear. She has a shitty life, man. Just remember that."

"Gee, way to be vague, Em. That helps me so much."

He laughs and slaps me on the back. "You're welcome, buddy. I do my best to keep people on their toes." He winks at me and walks back to his car. "Oh, and I forgot to tell you something." He yells as he gets to his jeep.

"What?"

"I fucking told you so, man!"

I roll my eyes. He gets in his car and I flip him off as he drives away.

When I get home, my mom bombards me with questions. "Hey sweetie. How was your first day back at school? Do you like your new classes?" This is why I love my mom. She always loves to hear about _me_.

"It was fine, boring as hell, but still fine. I have every class but one with Bella now." I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. _I really have to work on controlling this whole blushing when I talk about Bella._

"That's amazing, baby. How was practice today? Did you go see the trainer like I said?" Worry laces her tone.

"Uh, yeah about that." I say nervously. _How am is supposed to tell my mom that I practiced on my ankle instead of seeing the trainer first?_

I am interrupted out of my thoughts when my dad walks in to the room. "Yeah, son. How did it go with Steve?" I gulp. I can't lie to them. I don't want to tell them the truth though either.

"You see, well…" I'm at a loss for words. Dad looks at me expectantly, his face getting angrier by the second.

"Well what? What did he say?" _Shit. He sounds mad!_

"I can't practice or play for two weeks minimum." I mumble out. Dad still seems to hear it because the next second he's yelling.

"What do you mean you can't practice or play for two weeks? You have a small stress fracture, that's it! It's not that bad of an injury and you've been off of it for two weeks already. You shouldn't have to sit out anymore!" He yells angrily. "Unless…" He trails off.

"Unless what, Carlisle?" Mom asks quietly.

"Nothing." He mutters. Mom doesn't look convinced. "It's nothing. He's not that stupid."

For some reason, this pisses me off. "Not that stupid? You mean, I'm not stupid enough to try and practice on my hurt ankle without seeing the trainer because I know that he'll make me sit out? Because I know that my dad would be pissed if I couldn't play for a while? Because he's _so_ concerned about his son and not the football player? I'm not stupid enough to try and please my dad because I know that's what he wants. He wants me to play and be the big football hero. That's all he fucking cares about anymore!" I know I shouldn't say this, but I can't take it back now.

He huffs. In an annoyed tone, he says, "Are you done with your little tantrum now? I want to take a look at your ankle for myself."

"Oh, so you are actually concerned about my ankle now? Now that I can't play football for two weeks? Now you decided to show some compassion? You're a fucking doctor for goodness sake! You should've had my well-being in mind from the moment I slipped and fell on the ship! Not just now, now that you know I can't play your precious game of football for a little while!" I am seething. _How can he be so fucking heartless? How can he not care about_ me _?_

"Calm down, Edward. I always have your well-being in mind. You are just over reacting." His calmness is pissing me off even more. _How can he be like this?_

"Over reacting? Seriously? Some Dad you are." And with that, I go to my room. I purposely stomp up the stairs and slam my door shut to emphasize how pissed off I actually am.

I stay in my room for about an hour before I get too restless. Not wanting to stay in this house any longer, I grab my coat and walk back down stairs. "I'm heading out. I don't know when I'll be home." I say as I make my way to the door.

"Edward wait. We need to talk." Dad says quietly.

"We have nothing to talk about."

"I'll be the judge of that. Edward wait." He grabs my arm. He looks down and see the bracelet that Bella gave me. "What is this?"

I jerk my arm away from him. "It was a Christmas present."

"From who? Your mother and I didn't get you anything like this."

"I never said it was from you." I say, slightly annoyed. _Why can't he just let me leave in peace?_

He stares at me for a long time. " _Bella_ gave you this, didn't she?" The way he says her name makes it sounds as if she were a monster instead of the girl I liked.

"Yes, she did. If you have a problem with that, then feel free to keep it to yourself. I'm done trying to please you."

He sighs deeply. "Look son, you know I only want what is best for you, right?"

I snort. "If you knew anything about me, then you would know that Bella is what is best for me. She's the best thing in my life right now. She's the only thing that is helping make it through right now during this time of the year. She's the reason I have any joy in my life right now! Why can't you just accept that she is a part of my life?"

I don't give him a chance to respond before I rush out the door and I run to my car. I don't even know where I'm going, I just know I can't be with them right now, but I don't want to be alone either.

 _Bella._

Not wanting to overthink it, I start making my way to Bella's house. When I get there, I notice a police cruiser parked in the driveway. _Guess I get to meet her foster dad today._

I walk up to the front porch and knock on the door. Bella answers it a few seconds later. When she sees me, her eyes go wide. She quickly looks behind her before turning back to me. "What are you doing here? Are you crazy?" She whisper yells.

"I just needed to see you. I'm sorry if it's a bad time. I'll just go now." Dread and disappointment wash over me. I thought at least _she_ would have been happy to see me, but I guess not.

Before she has the chance to answer, Renee comes to the door with who I am assuming is her husband, trailing behind her. I speak before she gets the chance to.

"Um, hi Renee. I was wondering if I could steal Bella for a few hours tonight. We have finals at the end of this week and I could really use the extra help." I lie, hoping that they don't know that the new semester just started today.

I see Renee and her husband exchange looks before she sighs. "Have her home by 11 and not a moment later."

I try to contain my grin. "Of course. She'll be back by then."

Renee all but shoves Bella out the front door and into me and slams the door behind her. I notice her clutch her ribs and her face contorts in pain. "You okay?" I ask, worried.

She looks up to me and nods.

"We don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. You can just go back inside if you don't want to be with me right now or if you were busy or something…" I can feel disappointment spread through my entire body as I wait for her rejection.

She looks back to her house nervously before answering. "No, it's not that. I always want to be with you, Edward. It's just that…"

"Just what? What's wrong?"

She sighs before continuing. "Nothing is wrong, per say. Phil is just in a really bad mood tonight and I just thought that seeing you would put him over the edge."

"So you weren't mad that I came over?"

"No! I would never be mad at that." She says hurriedly.

I chuckle, all the disappointment leaving my body in hat one sentence. I can feel myself relax. "Would you like to go with me to our meadow?"

She smiles. "I would love to."

We sit in a comfortable silence as I drive over to our meadow. It's just barely dark outside when we finally get to it.

"So, what happened?"

"Something has to have happened? I can't just come see my girlfriend?" I say, trying to lighten the mood up a little bit.

"So I'm your girlfriend, am I?" She asks sheepishly.

I smile at her shyness. "If you want to be, then yes."

She smiles and puts her hand on my face. She cups my cheek and says, "What's wrong, Edward?"

I sigh. Part of me loves that she can see right through me, but the other part hates it. "My dad and I kind of got into it… He just doesn't get me. All he cares about is football. I just wish for once that he would care about me."

"He does care about you, Edward. Maybe he just has a different way of showing it."

I snort. "You sound like my mom."

She giggles.

"I love that sound."

She blushes and looks away. "I'm sorry you and your dad got in to a fight. Why don't you just try and forget about it? At least for right now. Just be here, with me. Nothing else matters. It's just you and me."

"I can do that."

We stare at each other for what feels like forever. Eventually, my gaze falls to her lips.

I seem to be staring at her lips for forever before she notices. "What?" She asks sheepishly.

I smile. "All I can think about is kissing you right now." It's all I can do not to tackle her right now. It's been too long since I've felt her lips on mine

"Then why aren't you?"

Surprised at her newfound confidence, I raise an eyebrow at her. She laughs. I love the sound of her laughter. Everything in the world just fades away when I hear her laugh. It's my favorite sound.

"Are you going to kiss me or what?" She asks again.

I don't respond verbally. Instead, I crush my lips to hers and give into my instincts. I drown all my worries and bad thoughts from today in this kiss. I feel complete when my lips are attached to hers.

 **A/N: I know this one is shorter than the previous ones, but they will start getting longer in a couple of chapters again.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **You make me wanna pull this truck to the side of the road, slide on over, let me hold you close and tell you everything I'm thinking." – Thomas Rhett**

Chapter 17

BPOV

February 2009

Walking into Mr. Masen's class, I feel a sense of anticipation was over me. Ever since the semester started, I have always been too eager to go to this class even though it's my only class without Edward. Mr. Masen has proven to be a really great teacher. He's witty and smart and he knows how to handle a bunch of high school kids without being a dick about it. He's by far my favorite teacher that I've ever had.

Not only is he cool, but he gets us as students. Ever since we all turned in our letters about what we wanted out of this class, he has specifically made adjustments to the class based on what we all said. For the people who wanted to work hard and really learn, he gives us plenty of challenging books to read and write about. For the people who know they will never use this stuff in the real world, he gives easier books to read and write about.

Our entire class loves him, especially me. I thought that I would hate this class because it was my only one without Edward, but I was completely wrong. Mr. Masen is the best teacher I've ever had.

"Alright class, I need you to finish up what you all are doing and turn your attention to me." I turn to face the front of the class where Mr. Masen is standing. "Next week, we will be starting a research paper. You can choose any topic of you want, but you have to be in class that day. If you aren't, I will be choosing your topic and I will make it something that you will not enjoy." He tries to smirk at us before he starts dying from laughter. It's so hard to take him seriously sometimes. "I'm just kidding about not enjoying you're topic." He pauses. "Or am I?" The entire class bursts out in laughter. "Now I don't care what you write about, as long as it is well written with a strong thesis. You need three outside sources and it must be 1500 words. You have until the end of the semester to finish it and turn it in. Sound alright?"

The class groans collectively, except for me. I immediately know what I want to write about. _Wuthering Heights_. I can feel the anticipation grow in my stomach. I can't remember ever being this excited about an essay before.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go whine to your friends and have a good weekend, everyone! If you all are going to the football game tonight, make sure you stay warm!" He yells as we pack up our things and leave.

I walk out of class to find Edward by the door waiting on me. He sees the smile on my face and asks, "Good class?"

I smile even bigger and nod my head. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He places his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. He buries his head in the crook of my neck. "You want to go to the game tonight or go do something else?"

"I'll go wherever you want to go."

I can feel him smirk on my neck before replying. "So if I wanted to go jump off of a cliff, you'd go with me?"

I pull back from him so he can see me roll my eyes at him. I playfully smack his chest before replying. "You know what I mean."

"You sure you don't mind going to the game tonight? I can't even play and it's supposed to start getting really cold. It's supposed to snow next week too." I can feel him go stiff beside me. _What's that all about_?

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be fine. I have a giant new coat to keep me warm." I smile at him, ignoring his stiffness. He smiles and leans in to kiss me.

He pulls back slightly and says, "You do, don't you?" All the stiffness has left his body now. He's completely relaxed in my arms.

"I do now, because of you." I smile and lean back in to kiss him.

"Oh, for Pete's sake, would you two just get a room so I don't have to see this every time I am around you guys?"

Edward and I abruptly break away upon hearing Emmett's outburst. I look to see him with the rest of our friends. Standing a few feet away from us is Emmett, Rosalie, Seth, and Jacob. Jacob is staring at me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. I try to ignore him and focus on Edward and Emmett.

"Oh, just let the two lovebirds have their fun. I'm just happy that it's _Bella_ that Edward is thinking about this week…" Seth says, a somber edge in his voice.

He and Edward exchange a look. I'll have to ask Edward about it later.

"Are you two coming to eat with us before the game or not?"

"Yeah, we'll meet you there. Come on, Bella." Edward takes my hand and leads me to his car.

We talk about mindless things on the car ride to the restaurant. Our conversations goes from everything to types of cars to favorite foods to things we want to do with our lives. Edward seems to have his entire life planned out for him. He'll finish high school then go to some big college somewhere. Then he'll meet a girl and get married. They'll have 2.5 kids with a dog and a white picket fence around their yard. He has nothing to worry about. He has everything going for him. I, on the other hand, don't even know how I am going to survive into next year.

Sensing my somber mood, Edward changes topics and starts talking about this book about a sparkling vampire that people are talking about.

When we all meet up at the restaurant, we split up. Edward suggests that he, Rosalie, Seth, and Jacob get the food. He turns to Emmett and says, "Why don't you and Bella go get us a place to sit, Em?" He nods and Emmett and I head deeper inside the restaurant, away from our friends.

I can feel Emmett's eyes look me over as we go find some place to sit. "I'm fine, Em. Nothing has happened since Christmas."

He sighs. "I'm sorry. I just wish you would tell somebody else, anybody really."

I give him a knowing look.

"Just think about it, please?"

I don't get a chance to respond before the others catch up to us. Eating goes smoothly after that. Edward gets me a grilled chicken sandwich and french fries to eat. We all eat and then head back to the game. When we get there, Edward pulls me to the side.

"Don't go anywhere alone tonight, okay? Stay as close to Rosalie as you can."

I look to him in confusion. "What? Why?"

"I just don't want you getting hurt. Since I still have to be on the bench, I need you to be safe and the only way I know how to make sure of that is if you stay with Rosalie."

His answer only makes me more confused. I've spent every game of his that I've been to alone. What's so different about this one? "Edward, is something wrong?"

He smiles tightly. "No, nothing is wrong. I just need to make sure you are safe."

"Um, okay. I'll stay with Rose during the game." I don't know what is going on with him, but he's clearly freaked about something happening to me.

He sighs in relief. "Thank you. I have to go now, but I'll meet you after the game to take you home, alright?"

"Alright. Good luck." He smiles and quickly presses his lips against my forehead before running to catch up with Emmett, Seth, and Jacob.

I go find Rosalie and patiently wait for the game to begin.

Halfway through the game, it starts to rain. It's barely thirty degrees outside and now it's raining on top of it. I'm going to get sick from all this. I wrap my coat around me tighter and pull the hood up over my head in an effort to block the rain from getting to me. Rosalie must have noticed my discomfort, despite her constant cheering to the crowd behind me. She walks away after she gets through with a cheer and heads over to me.

"Are you okay?"

I nod my head, but she doesn't seem convinced.

She goes back down to where the rest of her fellow cheerleaders are cheering to get her bag. She reaches inside and pulls out a giant green blanket that looks amazingly warm right now. She brings it up to me and wraps it around my shoulders. "It may not keep stop the rain from getting on you, but it will keep you warmer for the rest of the game. Edward would kill me if I gave you back to him half frozen to death." I smile at her and she leaves to go back to cheering.

The rest of the game goes by quickly. We ended up winning the game, despite Edward not being able to play. The stands cheer and the football team whoops and hollers at their victory. I spy Edward amongst them not looking even slightly interested in their win. _What is going on with him_?

I'm literally shaken out of my thoughts when Rosalie comes back to me on the bleachers. "We're storming the field, Bella come on!" She says excitedly. She grabs my hand and hauls me to the edge of the field where everyone is waiting to storms the field. As soon as the opposing school's team walks off the field, we all run toward our team. I frantically search for Edward amongst the sea of people. I see white uniforms everywhere, but no Edward. I start to worry until I feel hands sneak around my waist. I immediately relax in them.

"I know the kind of person you really are, bitch." I flinch and try to get out of this guy's grip on me. "You can pretend all you want that you have actual friends, but deep down inside, you're just a worthless piece of shit. You know it. I know it. Even you're foster parents know it. I mean, why else would they hit you if it weren't true? It's only a matter of time before Edward and the rest of his little gang of friends realizes it too." I can feel his hot breath against my ear. I shudder at the thought of someone else knowing what goes on inside my house. "Tell anyone about our little encounter, and I'll make sure pretty boy over there knows what exactly goes on inside your house." He points to where Edward is standing with Emmett and Rosalie. "I'll see you soon, Isabella." He lets go of me and I instantly turn around to find out who it is. No one I know is around me.

I search the crowd frantically, looking for the mysterious man who had just grabbed me. I don't know who it was, but I did slightly recognize his voice. I could tell he was a guy from that much.

Scared out of my mind, I frantically try and find Edward once more. I try to run to where I last saw him, but everything starts to blur. I can feel the tears in my eyes, begging me to let them fall. I refuse to let this man get to me that easily. I force the tears back and continue my search for Edward. Minutes pass before I feel the familiar hand grab my own.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Edward whispers softly in my ear.

As soon as I hear his voice I turn towards him and throw myself at him.

"Whoa, hey, I'm happy to see you too." He stares at me. I know he can tell that I almost cried. He brushes his thumb across my cheek. "Are you okay?"

I nod my head and bury it in his chest. "I am now." I don't even know if he heard me, but I don't care. I'm safe and in Edward's arms now. Nothing can hurt me.

"Did something happen?" He asks worriedly.

I shake my head and he drops the subject for now. "I need to go see the trainer about my ankle. Do you want to come with me?"

I nod my head and pull away from his chest. He takes my hand and pulls me to the locker room. I expected to see all the football players to be in here, but I am mistaken. No one is in here and it's kind of creepy. We walk in to a small room where a man about thirty years old is waiting for us. "Steve, this is my girlfriend Bella. Bella this is the trainer Steve." Edward introduced us.

I smile at him and he smiles back.

Steve immediately gets to work on looking at Edward's ankle. He presses down on it at certain spots. He asks Edward to walk on it. He asks him to hop on it. In the end, Steve says that Edward can play on it now, but he has to be careful. He said that if it starts to hurt then to immediately stop and see him once more.

Utterly fascinated by what's going on, I completely forget about the time. Edward pulls me out of my thoughts and tells me it's time to take me home. I nod and we head to Edward's car.

"Are you sure you're okay Bella? When I saw you in the field, you looked really spooked."

"I'm fine." I whispered, barely audible. He frowns, unconvinced and opens the car door for me.

We drive to my house in silence. I don't know what to say. I can't tell him about what happened on the field. He can't know about what goes on in my house. He can't know how useless and worthless I really am. I don't want him to pity me when he finds out that my "dad" hits me. I don't want to ever see the look on his face if he ever finds out.

When we arrive at my house, I don't speak as I slowly get out of his car. I just want this night to be over with. I just want to get out of my soaking wet clothes and go to bed. Edward has other plans though.

"Bella, what happened on the field? Did someone say something to you?"

I shake my head. _He can never find out._

He tries again. "Did you get hurt or something?"

I shake my head once more. Part of me feels bad that I am leaving him in the dark like this, but the other part of me knows it is what has to happen.

He sighs. "Why aren't you talking to me?" He runs his hands through his hair and pulls on the ends roughly.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but nothing happened! I swear! I was just searching for you with Rosalie, but then I lost her. I couldn't find you or her. I got lost in the crowd and got freaked out a bit." At least it's not a complete lie.

He sighs. He doesn't look convinced, but doesn't speak of it again. "Go inside. It's freezing out here. Go warm up." He grabs me by my face and swiftly kisses me on my mouth. I smile and nod. I turn to go inside when Edward playfully slaps my butt.

I turn to face him, completely embarrassed. No one has ever touched me like that before and I don't know how to respond to it. I feel my cheeks burning. Edward looks at me sheepishly as I stare at him.

"What? I'm just marking what is mine. Now go inside and get warm. I'll see you on Monday."

When I reach the door, I turn around to look at Edward once more. "Be safe, my Bella." I smile and walk inside.

Next week at school, Edward doesn't mention the incident at the football field, which is good. I also haven't had any more visits form the guy either. I don't like living in fear of my own shadow again, but I don't have a choice. I can't risk Edward finding out anything. I try not to think of it. I hope it was just a fluke and the strange guy was just a figment of my imaginations

Edward has been acting really strange lately. It's as if he is just waiting for something to happen. It's weird and he is kind of freaking me out, but I don't tell him that.

Day after day goes by and every time I leave Edward's sight, he says to be careful. If I go to the bathroom, he says be careful. When I go to Mr. Masen's class without him, he says be careful. When he picks me up from school every morning, he says be careful. When he drops me off after school and before his practice, he says to be careful. It's like there's something going on with him, but I don't know how to bring it up. For the first time in my life, someone cares enough about me to want me to be safe and I don't want to ruin it.

We are currently on our way to my house after a long day at school. I love the fact that Edward wants me to be careful for him, but at the same time I don't know how to react to his protectiveness. I decide just to go with it and be grateful that he cares so much about me.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when we reach my house.

"Be careful, okay?" He says as I get out of his car.

I smile softly. "I will."

The next day, it snows really badly. There was snow, sleet, hail, ice, anything and everything cold and it was everywhere. Walking was proving to be very difficult for the uncoordinated as soon as I stepped out of my front door. I slipped on a sheet of black ice and busted my ass on the steps. I'm just happy that I didn't break a leg on my trip down because given my past lack of coordination, I would have.

Edward must have saw me fall because as soon as it happened, he was right there helping me up. "Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?"

I chuckle a little. "I'm fine. Ice doesn't really help the klutz inside of me." I joke, trying to lighten the mood. I can see bags under Edward's eyes. It looks like he hasn't slept in a month. "You're tired." I state. I bring my hand up to his face and cup his cheek.

He brings his hand up to where mine is and pulls it away. "I'm fine." He walks me over to his car with a reassuring hand on my lower back. "Let's just get today over with." He mutters vaguely. Something is definitely up with him today. He's acting more weird than usual.

The car ride to school is silent. The roads are really icy and I am somewhat concerned that we might accidentally hit some. Despite the road conditions, they didn't call off school today. I am extremely happy for this because today is the day that Mr. Masen is letting us choose our research paper topics.

Coming to the only traffic light in the only town of Forks, Edward makes a right handed turn. Everything happened so suddenly. I didn't realize I was screaming until I ran out of breath. Edward hit a patch of black ice when we turned. We weren't going fast enough to tip over, but still fast enough to spin around a couple of times on the road. There was no one around us that could have seen it happen. It was only 6:43 in the morning after all. I completely forgot that Edward was even the car. After I stopped screaming, there wasn't any sound at all. It was eerily quiet. I look over to him to find him gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning as white as the snow outside. His eyes were glazed over.

"Edward? Are you okay?" I whisper. He doesn't answer. I lightly grab his arm in an effort to shake him. He still doesn't respond. _Shit, what am I supposed to do?_ "Edward! Please answer me. You're scaring me." I shake his arm a little rougher now. Nothing.

I look around the street some more, but there is no sign of life anywhere. We're currently in the middle of the road where a car could come any second and hit us. We need to get out of the middle of the road.

"Edward please!" Still no response. I do everything I can think of to wake him up out of this trancelike state. I shake him. I try to loosen his grip on the steering wheel. I all but crawl into his lap in an effort to get him to come back to me. I cup his cheek. I move his head to face me, but his eyes tell me that he is far away from being in this car with me. I lightly kiss his cheek.

Not knowing what else to do, I start thinking about what I can do to help without Edward. I can't walk anywhere to get help because there isn't anywhere to walk to. I certainly can't drive because one, I never was taught how, and two, there is no way I could ever move his body from the seat. I start trying to think of who could help me if they saw us.

 _Emmett!_

My heart fills with relief at the thought of him. _But how am I supposed to get him down here?_ I think for a few moments before I come to an answer. I can just call him on Edward's phone. Edward showed me how to use it the other day. My plan is perfect. I'll just call Emmett and tell him what happened and he'll come help me. Maybe by the time he gets here, Edward will be back to me.

"Edward." I try to get him once more. "I'm going to call Emmett, okay? We can't stay in the middle of the street for much longer." I slowly reach over his lap to his front pocket on his pants where I know he keeps his phone. "I just don't want us to get hit by another car or anything." I grab his phone and with shaking hands, unlock it. "We could get hurt being out in the road like this. A car could hit the same patch of black ice that we did and spin like we did. It could get really bad."

Something in him snapped at what I said. He lets go of the steering wheel immediately. I see his eyes fill with tears. Before I get a chance to say anything, he turns to me. He brings his hands up to my face and starts rubbing his thumbs across my cheek gently. "Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay. I don't know what I would do if you weren't okay. What happened? I remember hitting the ice, but after that I –"

"Edward, calm down. I'm fine. You're fine. Everything's fine. You just scared me. As soon as we hit the ice, the car started to spin. You were able to stop the car without flipping or too much sliding. After that, I don't know what happened with you. I couldn't get your attention for the life of me. It's like you were somewhere else. It's been about ten minutes since I last heard your voice. You scared the hell out of me…"

Tears are freely running down Edward's face right now. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't – I was – I'm so sorry." His voice cracks at the end. He covers his face with his hands.

"Hey. Hey. Look at me." I gently move his hands from his face. "You did nothing wrong. We hit a patch of ice, that's all. Nothing bad happened. We are _okay_." I take his hand in mine.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You can't help that you hit ice. It is not your fault. You couldn't have done anything about it." I try soothing him by running my hands up and down his arms, but it doesn't help. Now, he is shaking uncontrollably from his sobs. I want to help him, I just don't know what to do.

"Edward, maybe we should get out of the middle of the road now." I say softly.

He looks at me. "I'm sorry." He shifts gears and starts driving to school once more. When we get there, he doesn't park in his regular spot. He looks at me apologetically. "I can't go to school today. I'm sorry, Bella. I just can't do it. I'll be back to pick you up when school ends." He looks out the window and away from me.

My heart breaks seeing him like this. I can't just leave him like this. Not when he is so vulnerable and clearly in pain. "I'm not going anywhere without you, Edward." I says softly.

He looks at me, shock clearly written all over his face. "What?"

"You heard me. I'm staying with you." I say with conviction. No matter how excited I was to go to Mr. Masen's class today, I know Edward needs me more.

"Even after I nearly killed us this morning?"

I scoff. "I've had plenty of near death experiences, Edward, and that does not even come anywhere close to one."

"But I hit ice. I lost control of my car and we spun on the road. We could've been killed." His voice cracks a little more with every word. His tears are coming in faster and faster.

"Edward."

"You're not safe with me. I – I –"

"Shh. Don't. I trust you. I'm always safe with you. Take me with you, wherever you're going. I don't want you to be alone right now."

He stares at me for a few more minutes before nodding his head. "Okay, we can go back to my house."

"Okay." His house it is then. I've never been to his house. I don't know what to expect. Are his parents going to be home? Will Edward get in trouble for ditching school? Will they call Phil and tell them that I am ditching school?

As if reading my thoughts, Edward speaks up again. "Don't worry. My parents are both working. They won't be home until later tonight. We'll have the entire house to ourselves." His tears are still freely flowing down his face. I reach over and grab his hand in mine, wanting to comfort him in some way.

I don't know what I expect when we pull into Edward's driveway, but I definitely didn't expect him to live in a mansion. There is three floors, a giant front yard, and a beautifully decorated garden around the house. It's so big that you could fit at least three of my house inside his.

We get out of the car and Edward grabs my hand and leads me through the garage and into his house. It looks even bigger on the inside than it does on the outside if that is even possible. We walk straight up the three flights of stairs and into what I am assuming is his room. My hand still in his, he pulls me to his bed and lays down. He pulls me down beside him to where we are facing each other.

I slowly bring my hand up to his face to wipe away some of his tears. "What's wrong?"

It takes him a moment to get his composure. "On this day last year, I lost the most important person in the world to me…"

I don't say anything. I just wait for him to continue. I can tell he is about to pour his soul out to me, out where I am able to see all of him. He's completely vulnerable right now and I just want to help or comfort him in some way. He takes a deep breath and then begins.

 **A/N: I know, I know I'm evil by leaving it here. What do ya'll think happened to Alice? Why do you think Edward froze up like that? Any thoughts on who grabbed Bella on the football field? Leave me what you think in a review! See you next week.**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! It is the chapter you have all been waiting for. All questions about what happened to Alice and Jasper will be answered here! A couple of you were confused last chapter, but this is the first time Bella has been to Edward's house. When Esme cooked for them before, Edward brought it as a picnic to the meadow. Bella hasn't been to Edward's house until now. Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **You can see the world you brought to life, to life. So love me like you do, love, love, love me like you do." Ellie Goulding**

Chapter 18

EPOV

February 2009

"Mom said I could've stayed home today. Now I'm thinking I probably should. I just – I just thought that I could do it. I thought I could make it through the day without…" I feel the tears building in my eyes and I just don't have it in me to hold them back. "I haven't slept in days. I just keep reliving that night over and over again. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back at the accident. I'm back at that night. I can feel her blood on my hands. I – I…" My sobs consume me. I don't want to talk about this right now. I can't relive it anymore.

"Shh. Hey, it's okay. You're not there anymore. You're here in your room with me now. You're okay now." Bella rubs her hand on my arm to my shoulder and back down again. Her small gesture means more to me than she'll ever know.

I stop her ministrations by grabbing her hand bringing it to my lips. I lightly kiss her hand and intertwine my fingers with hers.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, you know…" She says softly.

I look up to her. I stare into her big brown eyes. I see nothing but understanding and kindness in them. "No, I um, I need to get this out. Maybe talking about it will help me get over it somehow."

"I'm here for you, Edward, whenever you're ready."

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. _I need to get this out._ "One year ago today, my sister and my best friend got into a car accident. We were all coming home from one of my football games when it happened." I take a deep breath. "My parents wanted to go eat to celebrate the win, so we did. Alice and Jasper were in one car, I was in my own, and my parents followed behind us.

"It was snowing harder than it had in years. There was ice everywhere, but the thought of us hitting it never crossed our mines. I was a great driver and so was Jasper. I trusted him with my baby sister's life." I choke back a sob. Bella runs her hands up and down my back and I feel myself calm at her touch. I take a deep breath and start again. "It was late and dark. It's hard enough to see black ice in the day time and in the night it's impossible.

"We were almost to the restaurant when it happened. I saw everything go down. It's like time slowed down so I could see every excruciatingly painful moment. Jasper turned down a street corner. He hit a small patch of ice and panicked. His car spun out of the road and flipped. The car stopped rolling once it hit the tree line. I got out of my car and ran to them. I found Jasper first. There was blood everywhere. The coroner said that he had suffered blunt force trauma to the head. He said that his head hit the steering wheel so hard that it killed him. They said it was instant. He didn't feel any pain as he went. Alice on the other hand…"

I start crying harder than before. I can't take it. It's like I'm back there right now. I can still see her body all covered with blood. It's too much.

"Edward. I'm right here. Be here with me. You're not there with your sister or Jasper. You're with me. I'm right here. Feel me. Feel my heartbeat. Match my breathing. You are here with me right now. You're okay."

I grab her hand give her a gentle squeeze. Words cannot describe my feelings toward her in this moment. "It's okay. I need to get this out."

She nods her head and I continue.

"The police said that Alice wasn't wearing her seatbelt. They say that if she had, she might have made it, but she didn't. I found her body lodged through the windshield and on to the ground of the forest. She was still breathing when I made it to her. She was unconscious, but still breathing. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. My dad had forced first aid training and how to do CPR down our throats since we could learn and when the moment came that I needed to do it, I froze. That's why I freaked so bad when you passed out on me at school. It was happening all over again and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I'm so sorry, Bella."

She shakes her head frivolously. "You did nothing wrong, Edward, with me or Alice. If anyone else was put in your position, they would have reacted the exact same way and you know it."

"It doesn't matter. I was her big brother. I was supposed to always protect her and when she needed me the most, I failed her. I just stood there like an idiot. I could have saved her, Bella. There was so much blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do. All I could do was just stand there and watch my baby sister die a painful and slow death. By the time I realized that she stopped breathing, my brain kicked in. I rolled her over onto her back and started the CPR.

"Eventually an ambulance came. The EMT's in the ambulance pulled me away from my sister. They checked for a pulse, but never found one. They tried to shock her back to life with a defibrillator, but to no avail. Same thing happened with Jasper. They pronounced them both dead on arrival. I had her blood on me and all I could think about was if I had only started the CPR sooner, then she wouldn't have died.

"My parents showed up soon after. They had taken a different route to the restaurant and was waiting for us when they heard the ambulance. Forks is a small town and everyone knows each other. Someone saw the accident from the town and called 911. They called my parents too and told them what happened. When they got to the scene of the accident, my mom rushed over towards me to make sure I was okay. My dad on the other hand, went straight for Alice. She was always his favorite. When they told him she was dead, he lost it. He broke down right there in the middle of town in front of everyone. That night when we went home, he looked at me with such hate in his eyes. He knew that it was my fault that Alice was dead. He knew I could've saved her and I didn't. He never said his thoughts aloud until we were on the cruise ship on Christmas. The only reason he doesn't completely hate me is because I continue to play football for him."

"I am so sorry, Edward. No one should ever have to go what you've been through. It's cruel and I can't even imagine the amount of pain that you must have gone through."

"I choked and now my sister is dead because of it." A new wave of sobs crash over me. I start shaking uncontrollably and soon enough, I can't breathe. I forcefully try to take a deep breath, but it only makes things worse.

"Edward, you have to calm down. You're having a panic attack."

I try to match my breathing with hers, but it doesn't help. My breaths are coming in shallower and my chest starts to prick in pain. Bella notices this and does the one thing that confused me even more. She kisses me. Out of instinct, I kiss her back. Her lips mold perfectly with mine. I taste her lips, her mouth, and her tongue. Abruptly, she pulls back. My eyes are trained on her lips as I ask, "What was that for?"

My eyes drift upwards to meet hers. That blush of hers covers her face as she starts to speak. "I read somewhere once that if you hold your breath during a panic attack, then it will stop. I didn't know how to tell you to stop breathing without freaking you out, so I kissed you. I guess it worked."

I didn't even realize that my breathing was back to normal until she mentioned it. I lost myself in the kiss that everything else faded away. I immediately wanted that feeling back. I lean in slowly to kiss her once more. When my lips touch hers, a sort of frenzy begins. I suddenly don't have control of my actions anymore. My hands abruptly have a mind of their own. They begin roaming Bella's body. They move from her face, to her neck, to her back, down to her ass to cup it.

"Don't." She whispers. I promptly remove my hands from her ass and disconnect my lips from hers. She slowly opens her eyes and grabs the collar of my shirt to bring me closer to her. "Don't stop, please." She whimpers out.

I instantly reconnect my lips to hers once more. My hands take their place back on her ass and I gently squeeze them. Hearing her moan at my touch has got to be one of the best things I've ever heard in my entire life. I gently pull her body on top of mine.

As I deepen the kiss, my hands move from her ass to roam cautiously under her shirt. I feel her stiffen for a split second before she leans in to my touch. Her skin is so soft. I slowly creep my hands up further until I reach the edge of her bra. I pause here, not knowing if it's okay to move forward or not.

Bella's hands start to work on my shirt. I feel each button of my shirt come undone. Her hands tentatively begin to pull my shirt apart. I help her out by lifting up off of the bed and pulling it the rest of the way off. When I pull it off over my head, I feel her gaze drop to my chest. I smirk. "See something you like?" She bites her lip in response.

I slowly grab her hand and place it on my chest. "Everything that's mine, is yours. Touch me." She gingerly raises her hands and roams her hands over my chest and stomach. I lean in to kiss her again and my hands resume their place under her shirt.

Getting bolder, I slip my hands under the fabric of her bra. Bella pulls away from me simultaneously and whispers, "Take it off."

I lock my eyes with hers to make sure she's serious before removing her shirt and bra. I slowly lift it up off of her and inch by inch, I see more of her than I ever have before. The first thing I notice is how beautiful she is. Her skin is pale white and so soft. I've never felt anything like it. The next thing I notice is the scars that cover her stomach. Thoughts on how she got these fill my mind, but the look on her face makes me push them to the back of my mind.

I can see worry and fear come across her features. She promptly moves her arms to cover her breasts. "I'm sorry. Doing that was a mistake." She hastily looks around my bed for her shirt and bra.

I rapidly stop her searching. "Don't hide from me." I gently grab her arms and pull them away from her chest. I pin her arms beside her head and lean in close to her. "You're so beautiful." Relief floods her face and I lean in once more to kiss her. I pull her body down so I am on top of her this time.

Our kisses become more and more heated as our hands explore each other's bodies. Our bodies move together in tandem, as if we have been doing this our entire lives together. Time ceased to exist as our bodies moved in sync with each other. I have never in my life felt some complete than when I am with Bella like this.

The only times that my mouth wasn't on some part of her body was when I had to breathe. Both of our breaths came in deep pants. We could have continued like this for forever if it weren't for a knock on my door.

Bella and I realized that someone was coming inside at the same time. I immediately throw my covers in an effort to cover Bella. _No one gets to see this part of her but me._

"Edward, sweetie are you home?" My mom walks in without bothering to wait for answer after she knocked. She gasped in surprise when she saw that I wasn't alone. Her face turns beet red and she instantly shields her eyes. _I guess I know where I get my blushing from._ "I'll um, be down in the kitchen if you want something to eat."

Trying not to laugh at my mom's reaction, I yell down after her, "We'll be down in a sec, Ma!"

I cover my face with my hands and then turn back to Bella. She has a look of horror on her face. I immediately reach my hand out to comfort her. "What's wrong?"

"You're mom just walked on us making out! How can you _not_ be freaking out about this?"

I chuckle. She huffs out at my laughter and starts to get off my bed. Before she gets more than a step away I grab her hand and pull her back on top of me. Our bare chests are flush against each other once more. I immediately see the blush return to her cheeks. "I love that blush." I softly begin to stroke her cheeks with my thumb.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"My mom knows how I feel about you. She understands that part of me." I say softly, not stopping my ministrations.

"How do you feel about me?" She asks so softly that I barely even heard it.

I think to myself for a moment before replying. I know how amazing I feel when I am with her. I know how she makes me feel. I know how I feel when I'm with her. I know how I feel when I'm not. Words can't describe how incredible she makes me feel. It's an amazing feeling that I've never felt before. It consumes me. My every thought and action revolves around this girl that I am completely in love with.

I smile at my recollection.

Bella giggles. "What are you smiling about?"

My smile gets impossibly bigger. "You."

She giggles more and I attack her with my mouth. I kiss her everywhere my lips touch, her lips, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, her neck, her throat, her breast, her stomach, everywhere. Her breathing starts coming in gasps when I start going lower. Not wanting to scare her or do something she's not ready for, I make my way back up to her lips. "You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?"

She bites her lips and smiles. For the first time since I met Bella, which was almost seven months ago, she seems blissfully and utterly happy. She is completely relaxed around me and I don't want to ever mess that up. Every bone in my body tells me that I need to tell her that I love her, but my head knows that she's not ready to hear it. I decide to hold off telling her until she's ready.

"Come on. Let's go downstairs. I want you to officially meet my mom." I roll out of bed to find her bra and shirt. When I find them, I toss them to her and try to find my shirt. Once we are both dressed, we walk hand in hand downstairs to find my mom.

Mom is trying to hide her grin when we walk into the kitchen. I can feel Bella tense up when Mom finally turns around to acknowledge us. I squeeze Bella's hand in encouragement and start talking to my mom. "Mom, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is my mom."

As soon as the words left my mouth, my mom ran over to Bella and pulled her in for a hug. "It's so nice to finally meet the girl who has my son so smitten."

To my surprise, Bella hugs my mom back.

"Ma, stop embarrassing me." I nervously chuckle. I don't want her to freak Bella out.

"Oh, hush. Let me have my fun. It's not every day that Edward brings a girl home, especially not one as pretty as you, Bella." She says, completely ignoring the fact that I am in the room.

Bella's face lights up in a blush at my mom's words. She bites her lip, a habit out of nervousness I've noticed.

"I made some sandwiches for all of us. Edward, why don't you go clean up so I can have a few minutes alone with Bella?"

I look to Bella for her permission. I don't want to leave her alone if she feels uncomfortable. Knowing exactly what I'm asking, Bella squeezes my hand in reassurance. I reluctantly leave them alone in the kitchen.

I quickly run up the stairs and to my room to wash my hands. I run back downstairs, but pause on the last step when I hear my mom talking.

"I haven't seen my son so happy in months. I have you to thank for that, Bella. After the accident last year, I never thought Edward would be the same person he was before. We made him move schools so he could get a fresh start. We wanted him to find happiness again, and now he has, in you. I will never be able to repay you for bringing the light back into my son's eyes. I knew today was going to be a hard day for my son. So, imagine my surprise when I find you in bed with my son when I came home earlier." Bella's cheeks flush. "No need to be embarrassed, child. I've never seen my son so happy before. Then I saw how he was in there with you. I thought I would come home to find him in tears, hating the world. Instead I found him happier than he's been in a long time. I never thought I would see him smile like that again, but there he was. I am forever in your debt for that, Bella."

My heart constricts at her words. I never knew that they made me move schools because of that. Dad always insisted that it was because of football, nothing else. I guess I am not the only one who realizes what Bella is doing for me. It means the world to me that my mom is telling Bella all of this.

I start to make my presence known in the kitchen when I hear Bella speak up. Shock overcomes me as I hear her _speak_ to my mom. "You're wrong, Mrs. Cullen. I will be forever in your debt, in your son's debt. He is the one who is bringing the life back in me. I owe him everything. He has helped me in ways he will never know. You have no idea what my life was like before him… and now I don't ever want to imagine what it will be like if he ever leaves it."

My mom brings Bella in for a hug. "Oh sweetie. You have impacted this family in ways you will never know. I owe my son's happiness to you. You will always be welcome here. You have no idea what you mean to me because of what you've done for my son. You have a family here."

I can see the tears forming in Bella's eyes from here. I decide that now is the best time to make myself known. I walk in to the kitchen and Bella pulls back from my mom's embrace. Tears are still threatening to fall out of Bella's eyes, so I try to change the subject to something else. "So, are we going to eat those sandwiches or what?"

Bella giggles and walks over to me. She throws her hands around my neck and hugs me tight. With Bella facing the opposite direction, I face my mom and mouth the words _thank you_ to her. She nods and I can tell she is fighting back the tears too.

We all sit down to eat. I make light conversation with them both. Mom does the same. She tells Bella not to call her Mrs. Cullen again. She says it makes her feel old. Mom tells her to either call her Esme or Mom. My heart constricts at her words. I never thought this would happen and yet it did. My life feels complete.

At about three o'clock, Dad pulls in the driveway. He walks in the door and sees Mom, Bella, and I sitting at the table talking. I am the first person to notice Dad's presence. His eyes are red and puffy. It is clear to me that he has been crying all day, same as Mom and me.

Mom eventually follows my gaze to her husband. She notices the first thing I did and runs up to hug him. Dad and I lock eyes for a moment. The same thoughts running through our minds: the only reason either one of us got through today is the thought of our girls. He nods his head to me in understanding when he notices Bella's hand grasped firmly in mine. I turn to face towards Bella and kiss her forehead.

"Come on. I should get you home." She nods her head and follows me out the door to my car. I walk her over to the passenger side of the car and before I open the door for her, I lightly press her against the car with my body. Our bodies fit together so perfectly, I do my best to suppress a moan that forms when I feel her entire body lined up with mine. I begin to kiss her slowly and sensually. When I break apart from her to breathe, I lean my forehead against hers. "You don't know what today meant to me, Bella. You completely turned my day around. I am so thankful that you are in my life now." The words I love you are on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back.

"I'm always here for you, Edward. Don't forget that." She says softly.

"I know."

I help her into my car and head to the driver's side. I begin the drive to her house with her hand in mine. When I pull into her driveway, Bella speaks. "I really like your mom, Edward."

I smile at that. "Yeah, she's pretty great."

"You're lucky to have a mom like that." She pauses. "She's lucky to have a son like you." I smile at her kind words.

"I've never known what it feels like to have a real mom, but if I could choose anyone in the world to be my mom, it would be Esme. She didn't even know me and yet she treated me like family. She walked in on us half naked and she encouraged me to follow my heart when it comes to you. I'm basically a stranger to her, but she treated me like I was her own daughter. I've never felt that before, Edward. I can't tell you what it means to me." I don't know how to reply, so I don't. I merely kiss her forehead and whisper my goodbyes to her.

Seeing Bella walk away from me, back to her own house made me realize something. I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. It didn't even take me three months to fall in love with my girlfriend. Then, I realize something else. I didn't fall in love with Bella just as my girlfriend. I fell in love with Bella as my best friend, as a person, and as a girlfriend.

I go back home once I know Bella is safely inside her front doors. I park my car and the first thing I see is my dad sitting on the steps of the garage that lead to the house.

"I've been unfair to you about Bella. I see that now. You need her just as much as I need your mom. I'm sorry for not realizing this sooner. I hope you can forgive me, son."

I don't say anything. I nod my head in acknowledgement of his words, but I have nothing to say to him. He can't just act like he doesn't care one day and be completely fine with Bella the next.

Sidestepping my dad, I walk in the house to find my mom sitting in the kitchen table looking through old photo albums.

"Do you remember this picture, Edward?" She points to the picture of Alice and me on our first day of Kindergarten. I was dressed in a bright pink t-shirt and blue jeans. Alice was in a bright pink summer dress.

I chuckle at the memory that comes with the picture. "Yeah, I do." A sad smile crosses my face. "Alice wanted us to match on our first day of school. She made me wear that damn pink shirt at least once a week for the entire year. She kept saying that I was going to be a ladies man because of that stupid pink shirt."

I didn't even realize that tears were flowing down my face until one hit the picture. Mom turns to face me. She pulls me in for a hug. No words are needed. Just the feeling of my mom's embrace is enough. I don't know how long we stayed connected, but eventually the tears stop coming and I pull away.

"I really like Bella. I think she's good for you."

I smile from ear to ear. "You don't know how much hearing you say that means to me, Mom."

Mom studies me for a moment. "You're in love with her aren't you?"

I smile and nod my head. It's crazy how Mom understands this part of me sometimes.

"I wasn't sure until today, but I have had my suspicions since the cruise. I've seen the way you act when you're around her, son. You're protective of her. She moves. You move. I've never seen anything like it. She's changing you. You seem happy. It's a good look for you. I've missed seeing it on you."

I smile sadly. "I've missed _being_ happy. Mom, she's like no one else. She's amazing and beautiful and smart and, and, and… she's everything I could have ever asked for in a girl. She's perfect." Even I can hear the love in my voice now. It's a wonder if Bella doesn't realize it.

"All I've ever wanted is for you to find someone who you can talk about like that, and now you have." She smiles at me affectionately. "Don't screw it up." She says with a stern look on her face before we both burst out in laughter.

"I won't. I promise." I start to make my way up to my bedroom when Mom calls out for me one more time.

"Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"I want grandbabies, but I don't want them being made when your father and I are in the house." She gives me a pointed look.

I feel the heat rise up in my cheeks and rush off to my room before she has a chance to say something else.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Anyone catch the Teen Wolf reference in there? What do ya'll think about Alice and Jasper's story? Tell me what you think with a review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **It's amazing how you can speak right from my heart without saying a word you can light up the dark. Try as I may I could never explain what I hear when you don't say a thing…" – Alison Kraus**

Chapter 19

BPOV

February 2009

I wait for everyone else to leave Mr. Masen's class before I walk up to him. He hasn't said anything about me missing his class the other day. He hasn't said anything about my topic for the paper either. Because I ditched the day that we were supposed to choose our topics, Mr. Masen now gets to choose my topic for me. I hope it will be something interesting. I nervously walk up to his desk and wait for him to acknowledge me. He looks up at me after a few minutes.

"Isabella, it's nice to see you. What can I do for you today?" He asks kindly.

I smile at him and grab a pen and paper from his desk. _I was wondering if I you had picked my paper topic picked out already._

I see his eyes quickly read over my paper and set it down. I expect him to tell me my topic next, but what I hear instead surprises me.

"Why don't you speak to people, Isabella?"

My breathing hitches. _How am I supposed to answer that?_

"I have theory about you, Bella. Would you like to hear it?"

I don't know how to respond to that, so I just wait for him to speak once more.

"I've been teaching for the better part of ten years now, Bella. I've seen everything in students. I've seen students who find themselves during high school. I've seen students crack under the pressure of high school. I've seen students who have parents that try to live vicariously through them. I've seen students whose parents push them incredibly hard in school. I've seen students who have been beat because of their actions in school."

He pauses there for a minute. I don't look at him. I can't. I don't want him to see the pain in my eyes.

"My point is I have seen everything in school. Hardly anything surprises me anymore. Throughout my years of teaching, I have become very good at reading students and knowing what their intentions and actions are or will be. All these years of feeling like I know everything, and then I see you walking into my class last month. You sat where no one can talk to you. You don't try to socialize with anyone in here. In the group assignments, you choose to do all the work alone instead of working with others to make everything easier. Now normally, I would chalk all this up to the fact that you don't care about school or how you do in it, but that isn't the case now is it?" I slowly shake my head, unaware of where this was going. "I've read your papers, your short assignments, your letter and everything points to the fact that you want to exceed in school.

"I have never seen you actually speak to a single person in this school. You are always around that Cullen boy, though. So, I start thinking to myself, what is a girl who doesn't talk to anyone at all, the girls who seems to be a social outcast at this school, doing with the star of the football team? You're not related, but you two are close. I can see by the way you two are when you are together." He smiles sadly at me. "My theory is you are afraid of people. You're afraid of what people will think of you if you open up to them. You're afraid of getting your hopes up because you don't want to be let down. You've been burned too many times in the past to let yourself live any more.

My eyes go wide. _How can he know all of that? It's as if my life story is written on my forehead in bold letters._

I reach for the paper and pen again, anger and sadness that he can read me so well, running through me. _What is your point in telling me all of this? Are you just saying all of this to make me feel bad about myself? Do you want to tell everyone your little theory and humiliate me?_

I can feel angry tears prick the back of my eyes as I shove the paper over to him.

He scans it quickly and looks back up at me. His face softens immediately when he's sees my face. "Isabella, it was never my intention to make you upset. As a teacher, I am merely curious about the way you seem to act. I've never seen a student go from completely isolating herself in a room full of her peers straight to in the arms of a boy waiting outside my classroom. I've never heard teachers talk about this bright and amazing student that only shows that there is a spark of life in her, through her school work. This brings me to your research paper topic." He searches through papers and papers on his desk before he seems to find the right one. He hands it to me and I glance down at it before he starts talking again. "I'll sum it up the best I can for you right now. I know Edward is waiting on you."

 _Edward!_ I completely forgot that he was waiting on me. I whip my head around and see Edward peeking through the door window with a worried expression on his face. I give him a small smile in hopes that he doesn't try to break down the door to make sure I'm alright. I turn back to Mr. Masen and wait for him to finish explaining my topic.

"Basically, I want you to tell me about people and why they act differently when they are around their peers or friends or parents or teachers. That's your topic Isabella. I want you to write your paper about people's actions and motivations. Why do we act the way we do? Why is it human nature to keep secrets? I want you to tell me about why we respond to people differently. Tell me about how we act differently and why we do it."

I nod my head and stuff the topic in my backpack. _Why is he giving me this topic? Why me?_

"I am looking forward to it, Ms. Swan." He says as I am about to walk out the door. I don't say anything. I just turn my head around so he knows that I heard him.

I walk out to find Edward and I instantly throw myself in his arms.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I don't answer verbally. I just pull him closer to me. He responds by kissing my forehead and softly stroking my hair. We stay like this for a long time until Edward says he has to go to practice.

Not one word about Alice or the accident passes between us.

Friday comes quicker than ever and before I realize it, I am exiting Mr. Masen's class to find Edward. Today, we are going to Port Angeles to eat before their game tonight. I quickly grab Edward's hand and we make head straight to Emmett's jeep. The rest of our friends are there waiting for us. Everyone except Jacob that is.

Jacob has started to become really distant with everyone lately. He stopped eating lunch with us and now he hardly talks to the guys during football practice, that is on the days he actually shows up for practice. I asked Edward about and he just shrugged it off. He doesn't seem to care about Jacob's whereabouts these days.

The entire time we were with our friends, Edward and I were always touching in some way. If we weren't holding hands, then Edward would have his hand on the small of my back. If we were sitting down, then his hand would find its way to the inside of my knee. It is oddly reassuring and comforting having a part of him with me at all times.

All too soon, we had to head back to the school so the boys could get ready for their game. As per usual, I head with Rose to the stands and wait for the game to start.

Halfway through the game, I hear a voice from behind me.

"Is that seat taken?"

It is Mr. Masen. _What is he doing here?_ I haven't tried to talk to him about my paper or at all since Monday.

Realizing he is still waiting for an answer, I gesture to the seat next to me.

"Thank you." He pauses for a moment. He looks like he wants to say something then changes his mind. "This is actually my first football game since moving here. Is our team any good?"

I smile at his attempt at a conversation. Despite his odd behavior on Monday, I still think Mr. Masen is a really cool teacher. I nod my head enthusiastically in response to his question.

"I guess they'd have to be with your boyfriend leading them." He gives me a knowing smile.

I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I know that Edward is my boyfriend, but having other people, especially a teacher, saying that he's mine is still so surreal to me.

He chuckles when he notices my blush. "I actually didn't come over here to ask about football… I came to apologize for how I acted in class the other day when I gave you your research paper topic. I didn't mean to be so intense. The subject matter is… well for a lack of better words, it's really close to me."

I stare at him, understanding written all over my face. I reach in my pocket and pull out a piece of paper and pen. _I get it. Sometimes it's hard to talk about things so close to us. You have nothing to apologize for, Mr. Masen. You don't have to explain your actions in class to me._

He smiles at my response. "That's very kind of you, but I do still want to give you an explanation. This past year has been very hard on me. I lost a student of mine that I was close to, to suicide. About a month before, I lost my wife, Sue and my daughter, Emily to a car accident. I was in the car and survived, but they didn't. I lost every family I had in a matter of a few weeks. One was to his behavior and the other was to the behaviors of the people around them. I stay up at night wondering about what would drive someone to commit suicide or why a group of underage high school students would drink and drive. I know my opinions on the subject matter. I know the facts that I have gathered, but I want to hear someone else's for once. That's why I gave you the topic I did. I want to hear your opinions on people's actions. I want to know your facts that you find."

I grab the paper back from his hand. _I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Masen. I know how hard everything must be on you right now. I can't even imagine how much pain you must be in right now, but you don't have to go through it alone. There are people all around you who can help you through your pain._

I slide the paper into his hand when I am finished. He reads it quickly. "Your words are very kind, Isabella. I didn't mean to bore you with my back story tonight. I only wanted to explain myself. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the weekend and I will see you in class on Monday." And just like that, his entire demeanor changes from somber to the perky teacher I have always seen him to be. He walks to the stairs before turning back to me. "Call me Charlie, Isabella."

I smile and nod my head. He walks off of the bleachers and I am alone once more.

I find Edward after the game without running into the creepy guy from the last game. I have, thankfully, not had any interactions with him since he found me last week.

 ****TCWT****

When Edward picks me up for school on Monday, I ask him if we can go to the library so I can work on my research paper. He complies and I spend over an hour reading articles about people's motivations. I wrote a few key points down that I intend on using for my thesis.

My eyes scan over the articles. Every word describes me perfectly.

 _Your feeling of control over situations may be disturbed if someone evaluates the circumstances differently from you, and particularly if they enforce their understanding upon you, saying what you should or must do or not do. A criticism of what you have done or of your capability, may equally cause disturbance. Accompanying these factors are the decisions that have been made in the face of stressful situations and anxiety, and that have become fixed ideas and serve as defense mechanisms, to keep you safe from the same situations possibly occurring again. It is emotional pain, or the threat of such pain, which holds such distorted ideas in place, even when they are no longer rational._

Based on what Charlie told me about his wife and daughter and the student he was close to, I also looked up articles about why people blame themselves after something tragic happens and I found this.

 _Individuals, who react to trauma with a sense of self-blame, feel that they are responsible for the negative events that occurred in their lives. A misguided sense of power over uncontrollable events has strong demoralizing and self-defeating consequences. Furthermore, self-blame is linked with more distress, anxiety, depression, harsh self-criticism, low self-worth and poorer recovery from trauma. Self-blame is in fact an additional and internal trauma that individuals, who survived the unimaginable, inflict upon themselves. The survivor keeps thinking about the event and what he or she could have said and done differently. The individual feels responsible for what he or she did not feel/do or guilt for what he or she did feel/do. The images keep re-occurring in the individual's mind and dreams. A re-enactment is an attempt to replay the situation and make it more acceptable. In the hope to relieve the burden and the self-blame, one remains stuck with the images, a fact that also causes a degree of psychological incapacity._

Reading through all these articles make my heart constrict not only for Charlie, but for myself. Some of what these articles are saying apply to my life. I feel like they are talking about me.

I feel my hands start to shake as I continue to read the articles. I try to control it before Edward notices, but I can't. My body is soon overrun with tearless sobs. I find myself wrapped in Edward's arms. He doesn't say a word. He just gives me the comfort I need until I can control myself again. I feel him press his lips against my hair as I pull back from his embrace. He brushes my hair out of my face and looks directly into my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Concern laces his voice.

"No." I answer truthfully. "But I will be."

"I'm here for you."

"I know."

 **March 2009**

Week after week goes by and with every passing day, I grow closer to Edward and Charlie. Edward has become my light at the end of the tunnel. My feelings for him grow stronger every day. I can't even explain how he makes me feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I have never felt so happy in my entire life. He makes me feel special and cared for. Sometimes it seems too surreal that he is in my life as more than just a friend.

And then there is Charlie. Over the past few weeks, I have been spending more and more time with him. Whether it is staying a few minutes later at the end of class or sitting with him during Edward's football games, Charlie has become a constant figure in my life. He is such a bright and happy person, despite what he has been through in this past year. He never lets any of the bad things that have happened to him affect his life now. By hanging out with him, I am starting to realize how I should act. Just because my life is complete shit, that doesn't mean that I should let it affect me when I am around my friends, Edward and Charlie. If Charlie can be strong with his life then so can I. I want to be just like him. He's become such an amazing role model to me.

Every Friday night, Charlie and I sit and talk, well he talks and I write. He tells me stories about his family and his old life. He tells me stories about when he was a kid. He tells me about the first time he fell in love. He tells me about all the things that a father would normally tell his daughter. I can literally feel the love and admiration Charlie had for his daughter. It's an amazing feeling, one I have never felt before. _This_ is how a father is supposed to talk about and feel about their daughter. _This_ is how they are supposed to talk about them. _This_ is what I've been missing my entire life.

The third Friday in March is a bye week for football. My foster parents are completely oblivious to my whereabouts all that night, so I spend it at Edward's house, in his room, on his bed.

I spend hours scanning through article after article for my research paper. I read everything that I can in an effort to be able to write the perfect essay for Charlie. I haven't had any more break downs when reading the articles either. Part of me is slightly apprehensive about why he gave me this topic still, but the other part of me believes Charlie's story about his family dying.

I feel a dip in the bed before I hear Edward whispering in my ear.

"Are you ready to be done for the night? I'm bored." He whines.

I smile at his playfulness. "I'm almost finished. Some of this stuff is really interesting. Did you know that something as simple as a person's diet can affect how they act around people?"

"Nope, can't say that I did. Now can you be finished?" His hands slowly make their way to under my shirt. His touch is so light that would hardly be able to feel it except for the trail of fire he leaves on my skin with each touch.

I unconsciously stop reading the articles on the computer and lean in to his touch. His lips start leaving a trail of kisses on my shoulder then to my neck. I let at a strangled moan and before I have the chance to be embarrassed, Edward spins me around and places me on his lap, making the laptop fall to the floor. The moment his lips touch mine again, I know I'm done for. There is just something about the way his lips mold perfectly with mine that makes me go crazy. When his lips force mine apart with his tongue, I comply. The taste of his mouth against mine is my favorite thing in the entire world.

Edward rolls us over so that he is on top of me now. He lightly nudges my legs apart with his knee. He lets his body fall on top of mine. Every crook and crevice of his, molds perfectly in line with mine. This is the first time I have felt Edward's entire body wrapped completely with mine, and I've never felt anything better.

As our bodies move together in tandem, I start to feel something start to poke against my stomach. I don't know what it is, but it's completely hard and rocking in the most delicious way against me. Curious as to what it is, I lightly pushed Edward off of me to look.

"What's wrong?" Edward asks, completely out of breath.

"Nothing, I just felt something poking me and I wanted to know what it is." I start to push Edward's body off of mine before he stops me. "What?"

"Bella, I uh, don't know how else to say this so I am just going to put it bluntly." His face is completely red right now, and I have no idea why. "It's my dick, Bella. My dick is hard…" His face becomes impossibly redder and I am positive that mine mirrors his.

"Oh, um…" I try to hide my face in embarrassment. _Of course it was his dick. I have heard about guys getting hard, but I've never actually felt one before. I feel like an idiot now and he probably thinks so too._

"Hey, Bella, if it bothers you we can stop or I can make sure you can't feel it again, if you want."

 _Is that what I want? No. I love the feeling of him being so close to me. I love the feeling of all of him on me._

I pull his body back on top of mine. "No, I like the way it feels against me." His face breaks out in a giant grin and his lips latch on to mine once more.

Our kisses become heavier and heavier. Edward's hands slowly roam back up my body, bringing my shirt along with it. Feeling bold, I reach for the buttons on his shirt and start undoing them. I get all the way to the last one before Edward helps me. He lifts up off of me for a split second and slides his shirt off his shoulders and down his back.

I stare in awe of his body. There isn't an ounce of fat on his body. His abs are clearly defined. His skin is pale and smooth. He's completely beautiful. I subconsciously start to bite my lip.

"See something you like?" Edward asks cockily, yet playfully.

I smile and nod my head. I lift myself off of the bed and bring my body to his. We both moan at the feeling of our bare chests colliding. It's got to be one of the best feelings of the world.

Edward's hands come up to massage my breasts. His hands are big and calloused from years of playing football, yet filled with pleasure. His hands gently knead my breasts. He brings his thumb and forefinger to pinch my nipple and I moan very loudly at the action.

 _Holy shit that felt good._

Eventually, I start to slowly push Edward on his back so I am on top of him. His hands find my ass and starts to show it the same attention he was paying to my breasts. Kneading it slowly then pinching it lightly. His hands eventually make their way to the front of my jeans and in between my legs.

"Fuck, Bella, I can feel your heat from the outside of your jeans. You're so hot. Am I doing this to you? Is this what my touch does to you, baby?"

I could only moan in response. My head is spinning. I can't think of anything except for the fact that Edward was touching me in my most sensitive of spots. His fingers start moving in slow circles. I writhe against him. I arch into his hand, forcing more pressure against the crotch of my jeans.

"Does this feel good?"

I let out a breathy "yes" in response. His movements keep getting faster and faster. I feel something start to coil in my stomach. I've never felt anything like it, but it feels amazing. I feel like I am about to explode. A few minutes of Edward's circling combined with his lips sucking on my neck, I finally explode.

It felt like nothing I had ever experienced before. It felt like I could fly. I swear I saw stars everywhere. The feeling didn't last nearly as long as I would've like it to. When I came down from my high, I saw Edward staring at me intently.

Realizing what he just did to me, my face turns red and I bury my head into his chest in embarrassment.

"Don't be shy, Bella. Don't hide from me." He slowly brings my face up to his. He kisses me on the lips and all my embarrassment fades away with one look. _I feel completely comfortable around him, emotionally and physically._

"You should probably go get cleaned up. The bathroom is through that door right over there. I'll get you some clothes to wear too. I'll take you home as soon as you get cleaned up." With a peck on my forehead, I head to the bathroom.

 **A/N: Thoughts? The italicized articles that Bella wrote down are not mine. I got them from several different websites. I do not own them, nor am I copywriting them. All rights go to their respective owners.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, but I'm holding you closer than most, cause you are my heaven." – Ron Pope**

Chapter 20

EPOV

April 2009

I watch as Bella walks in her house to make sure she gets in safe. The moment she is out of my sight, I drive back to school for practice.

I rush out of my car and to the locker room. _Fuck, I am so late._ Everyone is already out of here and onto the field. I quickly take off all of my school clothes and put on my practice jersey, pads, and cleats. I run out to the field, but a movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I walk back to behind the bleachers.

I see two people pressed against the poles of the bleachers. I walk a little closer to them, trying to figure out who is dry humping underneath the stadium bleachers. The closer I get, the louder the pair seems to be. I can vaguely hear moaning and soft grunting.

"Right there, Jake. Fuck."

I stop dead in my tracks. That's Tanya and she's with… Jacob? What? That makes no sense. _I thought Jacob hated Tanya for what she did to Bella._ Rage consumes me as I realize what's happening before me.

"Fuck Tanya, I'm so close."

Sick of what I'm hearing, I let my rage take over me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yell furiously.

Abruptly, they pull apart. Tanya smirks at me. Jacob glares at me.

"You jealous, Edward? Or did you want to join in?" Tanya asks cockily.

"Fuck off, Tanya." She rolls her eyes and starts to sip up her pants and straighten her shirt. After she looks like she didn't just get a quick fuck behind the bleachers, she stomps off towards the parking lot. "What the hell were you doing with her?"

"I'm trying to get some ass, you cock block. What the hell is your problem?" He yells back just as angry while zipping up his pants.

"My problem? My problem is you! I just saw you screwing fucking Tanya, of all people, underneath the bleachers! You know, Tanya, the girl who fucking tormented Bella for God knows how long? The girl who dumped her beer on Bella at a party not too long ago? How could you do that? I thought Bella was your friend?" All I can see is red. If he doesn't have a good explanation for his shit, I'm going to beat the shit out of him. _How could he do this to me, to Bella?_

"She was never _my_ friend. She was always your play thing. She never gave me the time of day after you claimed her as yours! You got yourself a piece of ass, so why can't I have mine?" A sick grin comes across his face.

The words are barely out of his before I punch him in his face as hard as I can. I hit him so hard, I heard something pop. "Bella is not my 'play thing'. She's my fucking girlfriend and I am in love with her, you dick!" I freeze for a moment. This is the first time I've actually admitted that to someone besides my mom. I don't let it faze me and continue my outburst. "There are plenty of other girls in this school. Why the hell would you go after the one girl that completely tortured Bella? What did Bella ever do to you?"

"She wanted you! Everyone always wants you! I never get anything or anyone! Everything is always about you. I have stuck by your side through everything and I never get any credit for shit! I was the one who was there when you fell in love with football. I was there on the first day of practice in high school. I was there when Alice and Jasper died. I was there when we moved schools just to play football with you. It was always me! I am done with you, Cullen. Everyone always bows down to the almighty Edward Cullen, but not me, not anymore. I am sick and tired of being your little bitch. I finally have someone of my own that is not yours!"

I'm speechless. "Jake, I –"

"Save it, Cullen. Let me fuck whoever I want to fuck and know it has nothing to do with you. If I want to fuck Tanya, then I am going to fuck Tanya. So do us both a favor and fuck off." And with that, he storms off in the direction Tanya went.

Even though I am completely shocked by his outburst, I somehow make my way to the football field where everyone was waiting on me. Still in shock, I don't even realize that coach was yelling at me until Emmett nudges me out of my trance–like state.

"Where on Earth have you been, Cullen? You are almost an hour late to practice! Do you have something better to be doing, Cullen?"

"No sir."

"Then why the hell are you late to practice? In case you haven't noticed, we are only six weeks away from the national championship game! I am trying to build a national championship team! I can't do that if my quarterback can't show up to practice on time!" Coach Clapp is now so close to my face that I can tell that he had chilly cheese fries for lunch.

I try not to gag as coach keeps getting closer and closer to my face as he continues to chew me out. When he finally finishes his lecture, he tells me I have to run three miles after practice for being late. I nod in acceptance of my punishment and practice begins again.

The entire practice, my head is not focused on football. All I can think about is about my interaction with Jacob. Why would Jacob want to fuck Tanya? How long has he felt that way about me? Why hasn't he said anything to me about it? I had no idea he felt that way about me. Jake has always been such a great friend. I had no idea how he really felt about me.

Practice goes by quickly considering I missed half of it. I start to run my three miles around the track when I hear someone start to run beside me. I look beside me to find Emmett there. "What are you doing, Em?"

He doesn't look at me as he speaks. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm running three miles with my quarterback because he took his girl home from school and was late to practice. I'm the captain. It's what I'm supposed to do."

I smile. "Thanks, Em, but you know you don't have to do this. I'm sure you've got something going on with Rosalie after practice."

"It's okay. She understands how important this championship means to me. She knows I will do anything to get us that trophy and title." He gives me a pointed look.

I grimace. "Sorry. I know you must think that I don't care about it, but I do. I want to win this for you and the rest of the team."

"I know and it's okay. Bella needs you. I just want you to remember that we need you too. I need you here man. We can't do this without you. I can't tell you how important this is to me. I have my entire future riding on this championship, man."

I look at him in confusion. "What do you mean? I thought you weren't playing in college."

He grins slightly. "I didn't either. I haven't told anyone yet, but I got a call from Washington State last week. They want me to play for them next year. They said that if we win the national championship game, then I'll get a full ride there." I can tell he is trying to hide his excitement, but is failing miserably.

I can't keep the smile off my face as I say, "That's great, man! I'm so happy for you."

"I wasn't even planning on going to college until they called me. My aunt and uncle just can't afford it, you know? But this changes things. I could go to college. I could do the sport I love and get fucking paid to do it. I'm going to be living my dream. I can hardly believe it."

"I'm so happy for you, Emmett. You really deserve it. I swear I'll put everything I have in these final weeks for you. I want you to be able to fulfill your dreams more than anything. We are going to win this for you, okay? You're one of the best players in our league and by far one of the most deserving, Em. We _will_ win this for you."

He smiles. "Thanks man. It means a lot."

"And uh, I wasn't late because of Bella." I pause. "Well, not completely. I did drop her off after school, but I got here about 20 minutes after practice started."

He looked confused. "You got on the field almost an hour late, Ed. Where were you?"

As I think about my confrontation with Jacob, I feel my blood begin to boil once more. My hands start to curl into fists. "I saw Jacob screwing Tanya underneath the bleachers beside the locker room." I say tightly.

Emmett stops running. "What?"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

We slowly start to pick up our pace again. "Are you sure he was screwing Tanya?"

"Yeah, I'm completely sure."

"That doesn't make any sense. Why would he do that? I thought he hated Tanya like the rest of us."

"That's what I thought, too, but I guess not. He said something about me having everything he wanted. He wasn't making any sense though."

"Damn, Ed. This really sucks. I know how close you two used to be."

"Yeah, I know. That's what makes this so hard and confusing. How could he do that to me or to Bella?"

"I don't know, man. I don't know."

We finish the rest of our laps in silence, both of our minds too shocked to say anything else. As we head to the locker rooms to change, Emmett stops me. "Hey, can you hold off on telling people about the whole maybe scholarship thing? I don't want to get my or anyone else's hopes up and then it not happen."

"Yeah, no problem. You're going to get it, Emmett. We are going to win the national championship. You are going to get a full ride to Washington and you are going to make all of your dreams come true. It's going to happen. I promise."

He smiles softly at me. "I hope you're right."

"I am always right." My tone full of cockiness.

He laughs and heads out of the locker room and to his car. I do the same and head home.

Wanting nothing more than to take a hot shower and go to bed right when I get home, I can't help the groan that comes out of me when I see my dad waiting on the steps to the house as I pull into the garage.

I get out of my car and begrudgingly head over to where he's at. I've barely spoken to him since the anniversary of when Alice died, almost three months ago.

"What?" I spit out. I can't help the iciness in my voice. He infuriates me to no end.

He looks up from the ground and motions for me to sit down next to him. "Can we talk for a minute?" He sounds upset. Somewhat curious to what he has to say, I sit down next to him.

"Look son, I've been doing some thinking," He looks me dead in the eye as he continues, "and I want you to play football because you want to play football. I don't want you to feel obligated to play anymore. I am so sorry for how I've been so adamant about it this past year. Something about the anniversary of Alice's death made me realize how shitty I've been to you." We both flinch at the mention of Alice. "Seeing you with that girl." I give him a pointed look. " _Bella_. Seeing you with Bella made me realize that I just want you to be happy. If being with her makes you happy, then be with her. If not playing football anymore makes you happy, then don't play football. I just want my son to be happy again."

For the second time today, I am completely shocked. I don't know what to say. He wants me to be happy? He's okay with me and Bella? He's okay with me not playing football anymore?

"What brought all of this on?"

He chuckles lightly. "Like I said, I've been doing some thinking. I've been looking at home movies and old photo books. I've seen a change in how you act. When you were little, you were so care free. You loved playing football. There was one tape in particular where I literally had to drag you off of the field, kicking and screaming. You wanted to stay and play so bad, but it was almost 10 o'clock at night and you had to go to school the next morning. It took everything I had to get you home that night."

"I remember that. Alice was already asleep in your right arm and you picked me up in your other one while mom kept the video camera rolling." I find myself chuckling at the memory along with my dad.

"You were so happy back then, but over the years, I've seen that happiness fade away. I thought I wouldn't see you be the same Edward Cullen that you were after Alice died. You were always so sad. I never thought I'd see you smile again. It broke my heart seeing you so upset. I thought if I pushed you into playing football, you'd have a little part of happiness back in your life. It didn't work though.

"You hadn't smiled in months. Then, you started Forks High and met Bella. You came home with a smile on your face for the first time in almost seven months and it was because of Bella, not football. I wanted to be the one to help put that smile back on your face. I wanted it to be football, not a girl.

"What I said to you on the cruise ship… it was uncalled for and completely wrong. It wasn't true. I was bitter and upset that my baby girl wasn't with us on her favorite holiday. It's a shitty excuse and I know it. I had no right to act the way I did. I had no right to say those things about Bella, either. I think she's a wonderful girl. How I've acted this past year is completely unforgiveable. I was so stupid. I realize that now. Seeing you with Bella has changed you for the better. I'm sorry for not getting it sooner. I hope you can forgive me…" He trails off.

"I don't know what to say." I want to believe him, but I don't know if I can.

"You don't have to say anything, son. I just want you to be happy." He says with a small smile on his face.

"I am happy. Bella is the most amazing girl I've ever met."

"Don't let your mother hear you say that." He jokes.

I smile at his attempt of being my dad again. "She already knows."

He smiles. We sit there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence before he speaks again. "I would like to meet Bella. Not as a doctor or an upset husband, but as your father who wants to know the girl that has brought my son back to life."

I smile. I never thought I'd ever hear him say that. "I'd like that, too."

I go to sleep that night with a feeling of exhilaration building inside my stomach. My dad, the dad that taught me how to love football, to love in general, wants to meet the first girl I've ever loved.

Friday comes quicker than ever before. I told Bella that I was going to formally introduce her to my dad at tonight's game and I don't know who is more nervous, me, her, or my dad. He seems to really want to meet Bella as my girlfriend.

School goes by fast and before I know it, Bella and I are on our way to eat with my parents before our game.

The awkwardness is palpable when we get out of the car and walk to my parents who are waiting inside the restaurant. I grab Bella's hand and pull her to the side, right before we go inside. "You don't have to do this, Bella. I wouldn't blame you, considering the way he's treated you in the past."

She shakes her head and looks up at me. "No, I need to do this. You said he's trying to be the dad he was when you were little, right?"

I nod my head. He really was trying.

"Then I need to do this. We need to do this. If he's making the effort, then I should at least meet him half way."

It's in this moment that I realize how much I care for this girl. She is everything I could ever hope for in a person, let alone a girl. I want nothing more than to tell her exactly how I feel, but I am afraid she's not ready to hear it. I want her to know what she means to me. I want her to know that she fills the gaping hole in my chest that Alice left when she died. I want her to know that the only reason I wake up with a smile on my face is because of her. I love her and I want nothing more than for her to love me back. But, she's not ready. I don't want to scare her off so I keep my feelings to myself as we head inside the restaurant.

My mom notices us first and runs up to hug Bella. "It has been too long since I've seen you, Bella. I've missed you. Edward doesn't bring you around the house nearly as often as he should."

I see her blush.

"Ma." I complain on Bella's behalf.

"Oh, hush you. Leave me to my fun."

I roll my eyes and move on to my dad. I look to Bella in anticipation. "Bella, this is my dad. Dad, this is Bella."

"It's nice to officially meet you, Bella."

Bella smiles and shakes Dad's hand. We head to our booth and talk continuously for the next hour and a half. I haven't enjoyed a family meal this much since Alice died. I owe it all to Bella. I would have never had the talk with my dad about everything that has happened if it weren't for Bella. This hole in my chest that I thought would never go away is now completely filled because of her. My family is acting like a family once more, because of Bella. She has no idea the impact she has made in my life and I love her so much for it.

When Bella and I finish our food, we quickly make our way back to the school for the game. I drop Bella off by the bleachers where she always sits. Waiting on her is her AP English teacher, Mr. Masen. Over the past few games, I've noticed Bella sitting with him during the game. The smile on both of their faces when they see each other makes me feel amazing. She's branched out so much since the beginning of this school year. She's grown so much as a person and I feel completely honored to have been a part of that.

I leave Bella and Mr. Masen to go get ready for the game. Tonight, we play a team from Vancouver, Washington. Whichever team wins will advance to the national playoffs. The team sounds good based off of stats, but they don't seem to have our skill or determination. In the end, we win 54 to 17. As per usual, the crowd of people rush on to the field at the end of the game. I hurry to find Bella, and when I do, I sweep her in my arms and kiss her passionately. Words cannot describe the high I feel as Bella kisses me back just as passionately out on the field where I just secured my team's spot in to the national playoffs just moments before.

Elation runs through me as I feel the need to celebrate. All I want to do is take Bella back to my house and be with her for the rest of the night. So, that's exactly what I do.

I sneak Bella into my room and immediately attack her mouth with mine. The moment her lips touch mine, I'm completely hard. These past few weeks have been the best kind of torture. Bella and I have slowly started to progress our physical relationship. She's so beautiful. All I want is to ravish her, but I know it would freak her out, so we have been keeping things slow for now.

I slowly lift off her shirt and mine follows seconds later. I gently push her into my bedroom wall and grind myself on her. "Do you feel what you do to me, Bella?"

Her only response was a moan.

Her hands slowly move from their place around my neck down my chest and stomach to the button of my pants.

My hands pause their movements on her breasts and move down to meet her hands at my pants. I, begrudgingly, stop her advancements on unzipping my pants. I look her straight in the eye and ask, "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything, Bella."

She smiles up at me, completely confident and unashamed of her actions. "I want to, Edward. I want to be with you like this. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel. I want to do this."

I nod my head and let go of my grip on her hands and let her undo my pants. My dick springs out, eager for some attention from someone's hand that's not mine. My head falls back in pleasure when I feel Bella's small hand tentatively wraps around my dick and squeezes.

"Fuck, Bella."

Needing something to keep my mind off her ministrations so I don't cum in two seconds, I quickly unbutton her pants and move her panties to the side.

Bella slowly starts to move her hand up and down my dick. She moans when I swiftly slide two fingers inside of her. Her movements on my dick become faster and faster as I thrust my fingers inside of her. We match each other's pace and it's not long before I feel that familiar coil in my stomach feel like it's going to burst.

"Are you close, baby?" I moan out.

In between breaths, she answers, "I'm almost there, Edward." I watch as her head falls back in ecstasy.

The combined facts that I haven't had anyone beside me touch my dick in so long and the fact that Bella is the one stroking me, makes me shoot my load faster than I ever have before. Seconds later, I feel Bella clinch around my fingers and her cum squirts out of her.

We stay close like that for a few more minutes. I pull my fingers out of Bella and bring them to my lips. She watches my every move as I suck each finger into my mouth. I watch her mouth go wide and I feel myself get hard again. _Oh, the things that mouth could do._ I lean in and place a wet kiss on her mouth. I moan at the fact that she is tasting herself on my lips.

When I pull back, I realize that I came all over Bella's hand, so I take her hand and lead her to the bathroom.

When I finish cleaning us, I kiss Bella's forehead. "That was amazing, Bella."

She giggles and says, "Yeah, it was."

We walk back into my room and I notice the time on the clock sitting on my nightstand. It's almost 10:45. "Fuck, Bella. We need to go. You have to be home by 11."

She nods her head and we quickly make our way downstairs and to my car. I speed the entire way back to her house. We get there in no time. I swiftly kiss her on the lips. We say our goodbyes and the words "I love you" are on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them back.

 _It's not the right time._ I reason.

I watch her walk into her house before heading back to my own.

The school week flies by. The entire school is just as pumped as the football team for the first round of the national playoffs. When Friday comes, there is a huge pep rally for the team. Principal Greene makes a cheesy speech about this year being the year of the Spartans. I spend the entire time searching for Bella amongst the sea of people. Because I am a part of the team, I am required to be on the gym floor with the rest of the team while the rest of the school is packed tightly into the small gym. It takes me a while, but I finally spot her near the door, standing with Mr. Masen. I smile at the fact that she's not alone in this school anymore. She has me, the rest of our friends, and now she has Mr. Masen.

At the end of the pep rally, I head over to Bella and ask her if she wants to eat with the team or go somewhere by ourselves.

She shrugs and smiles at me. I smile in return and take her hand to lead her to my car.

"I want you all to myself for as long as I can tonight… if that's okay with you."

Looking around to see if anyone is around us, she replies, "I am very okay with that." She stands on her tippy toes and kisses me on the lips before getting in my car. I smile at her actions and get in the car too. We drive to the local diner to eat before the game.

Just like usual, I drop Bella off with Mr. Masen after we get through eating so I can go get ready for the game.

My prediction was right. Mountain View High School from Vancouver, Washington was a good team, but we were better. We win the game 42 to 35.

As soon as the timer goes off, the entire team, stands, everyone erupts in cheers. We did it. We're going to the sweet sixteen in the national playoffs for football! The excitement hits me as I see the entire crowd from the stands run onto the field. I look around, expecting to see Bella coming towards me, but I don't. I don't see her anywhere. I start searching for her frantically, but nothing. Ten minutes go by and still no sign of her. I see Mr. Masen and run over to him.

"Where did Bella go?" I ask him.

His eyes widen in shock for a split second before answering. "She was right behind me when we ran onto the field. I had no idea she wasn't there anymore. I'll help you look for her." I nod my head and start searching for her again.

Another five minutes pass until I finally spot her. She's frozen in place right beside the gate around the field. I run to her and wrap my arms around her.

"Where have you been, Bella? You scared the hell out of me. I couldn't find you. Mr. Masen couldn't find you. I was so worried."

Bella doesn't respond. She doesn't even move. It's like she doesn't even know I'm here. "Bella?"

Once again, she doesn't respond. She's really starting to scare me now. I examine her from head to toe. She's pale white, as if she'd seen a ghost. She's freezing cold, despite the weather being near sixty degrees out. She's barely moving. She looks as if she had just been scared to death.

"Hey, Bella, what's wrong? Talk to me." I urge. I cup her cheek and lightly press my lips to hers. This seems to break her out of her trance–like state. She finally moves. She wraps her arms around me in a hug. I pull her tightly against me.

"You're okay. I'm here. I've got you." I whisper in her ear.

We don't let go of each other for at least ten minutes. No one bothers us, but I can tell people want to talk or congratulate me about the game, but I don't care. My girl needs me right now, and that's all that matters.

We eventually have to get off the field and I take her home. She doesn't say one word about what happened tonight, and I don't want to push her into telling me, despite how badly I want to know. I drop her off at her at her house without a word from her.

Seeing Bella shut down like this makes my heart break in two. I've never seen her so clearly upset about something. I want nothing more than to help her – for her to confide in me, but she doesn't. This breaks my heart even more.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Why do you think Bella froze up like that**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I have been told that I should start putting tissue warnings at the beginning of chapters like this, so here it is: TISSUE WARNING. I am also going to start speeding things up in this story. Hope you enjoy.**

 **"** **Trying hard to reach out, but when I tried to speak out, felt like no one could hear me." – Kelly Clarkson**

Chapter 21

BPOV

May 2009

He did it again. The guy mysterious guy on the football field who threatened me, he did it again. He told me that he was watching me. Every move I made, everything that happened in my life, he knew about. I've never been so terrified before. Edward found me seconds after the mysterious guy left. I was completely petrified and it showed. The guy told me that if I even breathe the wrong way, the entire school would know that my foster dad hits me for kicks. I can't let anyone find out, so I do what he says. I keep the fact that I am being stalked and harassed a secret from Edward, from everyone.

I've never been so scared in my life. Nothing Edward did that night made me feel safe again. I hated the fact that he noticed it too, but I can't help it.

Today is Monday and the first day I've seen Edward since the night on the football field. I know I have to act like everything is normal. I have to pretend that everything is okay. I have to act like nothing is wrong in the world and it kills me to do it, but somehow I manage to put a fake smile on my face when Edward pulls into my driveway on this cold Monday morning.

Inside, I can feel myself slowly falling apart. Between writing my paper on behavior and the guy who is tormenting me at Edward's football games, it's becoming harder and harder to keep my wall up from the rest of the world.

The moment I see Edward in my driveway, I rush to embrace him. I need him right now. I need the physical reassurance that someone is here for me that only he can give me. When my body connects with his, all of my worries and troubles fade away. It's only Edward and I in the entire world and that's all that matters.

Eventually, we pull a part and go to school. The entire day, Edward looks like he wants to say something to me about Friday night, but chickens out at the last moment. When he drops me off at my house before he goes to practice, I decide to try and ease his mind a little.

"I'm sorry for freaking you out Friday night. I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't find you in the crowd, that's all." I lie through my teeth. "I'm okay, really I am. You have nothing to worry about." I lightly kiss his cheek and get out of his car. I wave at him as he drives back to the school for his practice.

The rest of the school week passes by without incident. Edward doesn't mention my behavior on the field from Friday, and I don't either. We go about our normal business like normal.

When the school day is over on Friday, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Seth, and I all do our normal pre–game meal. If someone had told me a year ago that I would have friends that I had regular plans with now, I would have told them they were insane. But now, I can't imagine my life without these people and these precious moments.

After we get through eating, I ride with Edward back to the school. He drops me off in my usual spot near Rosalie and the rest of the cheerleaders. Tonight's game is against Peach County High School from Fort Valley, Georgia. We are in the second round of the national playoffs, or the Sweet 16 as the players call it.

I am alone for two seconds before I hear Charlie's footsteps beside me. He sits beside me, but I can tell something is off with him. He seems nervous about something, anxious even. I try to ignore it as he makes small talk about football and school with me for a few minutes. Before too long, Charlie takes a deep breath, preparing himself for his next words.

"Bella, I want to tell you about someone who was once very close to me." He pauses and I wait for him to continue. "At the school that I taught at before I came to Forks, I was really close to this student. His name was Robert. He was in my British Literature class in his junior year. I grew very close to him. He wasn't the smartest of students, but he always tried his hardest. I tutored him twice a week for an entire year. He came over to my house on Wednesday nights for dinner. He and my daughter were friends. My wife treated him as if he was her own. He was a part of my family.

"Towards the end of the year, I noticed a change in him. He stopped coming to our tutoring sessions. He stopped coming over for dinner. He avoided all contact with my daughter and wife. He never put any effort into his work anymore. He would come into class with long and heavy clothing, as if he were trying to hide his body. He started to become more and more anti–social. He completely stopped the little interaction he had with people altogether. His social life went from small to nonexistent in the blink of an eye. He avoided all physical contact with people. Every time someone would touch him, he would flinch or lash out at them. He was always angry at everyone. Hell, he was angry at the world.

"On April 27, 2008, my wife, my fourteen – year – old daughter, and I got into a car accident in which we were hit by a drunk driver. A kid, barely nineteen years old, was coming home from a party drunk and ran a stop sign. The crash was on the passenger side of the car. I was the only one on the driver's side. I came out of the crash with a few scrapes and a broken arm. My wife and daughter weren't so lucky. Sue, my wife, hit her head so hard against the dashboard that her skull cracked in two on impact. She died instantly. Leah, my daughter on the other hand, died a slow and painful death. A large shard of glass from the window broke off and sliced her neck up. The cuts weren't deep enough for her to bleed out instantly, but still deep enough to be life threatening. I slowly watched the life drain out of my daughter. She was conscious for a while after the initial accident. I tried to reassure her that she would be okay, but she knew she was going to die. I saw the light fade from my daughter's eyes and with each passing moment, I saw more and more blood trickle out of her neck and onto the ground. I was trapped in my seat, unable to move. By the time the ambulance got to us, she was dead. I watched my daughter die in the most agonizing way.

"I had lost my entire world, in a span of less than ten minutes. I had every reason to be angry and to hate the world, but I didn't. I grieved on my own time and I didn't let it affect my work or my students. So, I began to wonder, what gave Robert the right to be so angry when I wasn't?"

I see a tear roll down Charlie's face. My heart aches for what he has gone through. I don't know how it feels to lose someone I've loved, but I've been through so much pain and suffering that I can imagine it.

I tentatively reach my hand out and lightly place it on Charlie's back in comfort. He doesn't look my way or make any acknowledgement towards my soothing gesture; he's too caught up in his story.

"I threw myself into my school work. I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to grieve for my family. I didn't want to mourn. It was too hard. Instead, I started to become very observant of my surroundings. I started to pick up on things that I wouldn't have normally. I started noticing the patterns in Robert's behavior. I started to notice his flinching at loud sounds. I started to notice how he avoided talking to people. He had completely changed from the boy I tutored twice a week back in August.

"The last week of school, all Robert's anger and rage turned into despair and misery. Every time I saw him, he looked as if he were about to lose it. I started noticing the bruises on his neck. I found out later that they were in the shape of hands, as if he were strangled or choked by someone. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe that he was being abused. I mean, that kind of stuff only happens in movies and really sad books, right?" He looks at me with a sad smile on his face. I can't hold his gaze, so I turn and face the field.

"The last day of school, he came to me after the last bell had rang. He told me how much he was going to miss me. He said I was like a father to him and that he would have wanted to be just like me. He told me how grateful he was for all the effort I put into him. He said that it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him in his entire life. He said that I was the only person in the world who had ever shown any interest in him at all. I didn't understand why he was telling me all of this. It was only summer break, I was going to see him again in a few short months. I don't know if he was only trying to make me feel better because I had just lost my family or what.

"He left me so abruptly, as if he had to do something before he lost his courage. I was so worried about him. I thought about going after him, but thought better of it. Kids have mood swings all the time." He chuckles humorlessly. "A mood swing. I thought Robert was having a mood swing, so I let him leave that afternoon without a second glance.

"I was watching the news later that night when I saw his name pop up on my screen. The news reporter said that they found his car at the bottom of a cliff. A couple of teenage boys saw him drive off of it about thirty minutes after he left me at the school. He committed suicide and I thought he was having a mood swing." Sobs overrun Charlie's body. I quickly wrap my arms around him and hug him as best I can from my awkward angle. A few minutes later he gets a hold of himself and calms down. He puts a hand on my arms and nods. I let go of him and he finishes his story.

"I found out later that he had left a note on my desk when I wasn't looking. In his letter, he explained how throughout his entire life, his parents had neglected him. There were times when he would go without food for days at a time. He never heard the words 'I love you' from either one of his parents. His parents basically ignored his presence. He said the physical abuse didn't start until his dad lost his job in January of his junior year. Robert's dad would come home drunk every night and blame him for losing his job. His mother just sat there and watched. He said that on a good day, his parents would punch him in the gut and send him out the door. On the bad days…" Charlie pauses. "Well, the bruises on his neck came from the bad days.

"He said he never felt wanted until the day he walked into my classroom and I offered to tutor him. He never felt loved or cared for before in his life and then he did. He never had an emotional connection to anyone in his entire life before me.

"His letter said that his parents had always told him harsh things, but that morning, they said some really nasty things before he left for school. They said that everyone would be better off if he would just die already. They said he would be making the world a better place." Charlie scoffs unbelievingly. "Who tells someone that? Who tells a kid that they would be better off dead? How can a mom and dad say that to their child? I can't even comprehend how someone could say that. I don't even understand how Robert could do it. He knew he had me. Despite his home life, he had me. I would have taken care of him. I know I wasn't exactly in the right state of mind because my family had just died, but I could have still helped him. I would have done _anything_ to help him.

"He said that he made the decision to kill himself that day when he got to school. He was fed up of no one caring about him. He was done with hating the entire world for not giving him a better life. He was through with all the pain and suffering of his world. He wanted it to end. He was tired of fighting, so he let go. He gave up and decided to end his life."

I don't know how to react from Charlie's story. I can't imagine what Charlie felt when he got that letter. I don't want to either. Silence falls over us for the first time since the game started. It is minutes before Charlie speaks again and when he does, I can hear the guilt in his voice.

"I moved a week after he killed himself. I couldn't handle being in the town in which I lost my wife, my daughter, and now my student that I came to see as a son. It was all too much for me. I felt so guilty. If I had just stayed with Robert for a few more minutes that day, maybe I could have stopped him from killing himself. If I had just listened to my gut, he could still be here today, but I didn't. He's gone now and no one can do anything about it. I had to get out of that town. I was surrounded by bad memories. I thought I was going to lose it, so I left. I got offered a job here in Forks, exactly 5.2 hours away from my old life. It was far enough to get away from the guilt, yet close enough to remember what my actions and non-actions had caused.

"I was settling in and getting used to my new surroundings when you walked into my classroom. You could hardly walk faster than a snail's pace, yet you made it to class every day on time. It was clear to me that you were hurting in some way. It was like seeing Robert all over again. The signs were all there. The oversized clothes. The lack of a social connection. The bruises on your body that you thought were hidden. I was reliving the nightmare all over again, except this time I wasn't going to let the same thing happen." Charlie looks at me with such pain and determination in his eyes. "I'm going to let the same thing happen again, Isabella." He gives me a knowing look.

I break his gaze. I can't handle the intensity behind his stare. I feel that if I stare in his eyes for too long, Charlie is going to figure out all of my secrets and I just can't have that happen. His story is too much for me. It hits me harder than I expect. Charlie seems to notice my discomfort and eases back on his stare.

"I should probably leave now, Isabella. Remember what I said and know that I am here for you if you ever want to talk about anything. I mean anything."

I swallow thickly and nod my head.

 _He knows._ A little voice in the back of my head says. I shake my head, but my thoughts continue. _There's nothing I can talk about with you, Charlie. You wouldn't understand. No one does. The sooner you figure that out, the better it will be for everyone._

I want to say these thoughts aloud, but I don't. I simply watch as Charlie walks away. I stare in the direction he left in until the timer on the scoreboard goes off, signaling the end of the game. I look at the score. We won 36 to 7.

I rush out onto the field along with everyone else. I find Edward quickly and throw my arms around him, eager for the comfort I know he'll provide.

"Hey, I missed you to, Bella." He smiles down at me. He gently pulls me from him. The smile leaves his face as soon as he sees my expression. "Are you okay?" I hear nothing but concern in his words.

I do my best to smile for him. "I'm fine. I just heard a really sad story tonight. That's all."

He nods his head.

We continue to stay on the football field for a few minutes. Edward talks to a couple of people about the game, but I hardly pay any attention. I'm too consumed in my thoughts about Charlie's story. I'm so consumed by my thoughts that I don't even notice when Edward drives me home.

"Bella? Are you okay? You've been in your own little world all night. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head no. I don't want to worry him about something so inconsequential. Instead, I respond by saying, "I know that I don't say this enough, Edward, but thank you for coming into my life. I don't know what I would do without you."

Edward looks like he wants to say something back, but backs down at the last second. Instead, he captures my lips in a passionate kiss. I can feel all the unsaid words pass between us in this kiss. We both let all our emotions talk in this one kiss. We stay like that for a few minutes, before Edward claims that he has to go. He presses one more kiss to my lips then to my forehead before he leaves.

A week goes by and I find myself avoiding Charlie at all costs. I just don't know how I'm supposed to talk to him now that he knows. Avoiding him goes smoothly until the second to last day of school when Charlie reminds everyone that their research papers are due tomorrow.

I can feel my body tense at the thought of turning in my paper to Charlie. I know I'm going to have to talk to him about it and there is no way that I can get out of it.

 ****TCWT****

Edward's Elite 8 football game is away, so I am unable to go watch him play. I spend the entire week and weekend trying to figure out how to cope with his absence. I don't know how I do it, but I do. Our football team wins the Elite 8 game and they are now headed to the next round of nationals.

As soon as I get Edward back from one football game, I send him back to another.

For some reason, I can't sleep knowing that I won't see Edward the next day in school. He's off to his final four football game, and won't be back until Sunday night. It's only Friday. So here I am, lying awake at five o'clock in the morning thinking about Edward.

I'm really upset that I can't see Edward play in his final football games. They're all away. I'm almost tempted to ask Charlie if he would consider taking me to the games, but thought better of it. Things between he and I are… tense at best. His story about his wife and daughter and that boy who committed suicide is too much for me. It hits just a little too close to home. I don't like the fact that he knows that something is going on in my home life. If he ever got proof or told anyone else about it, Phil would kill me for sure. I just can't have people knowing. I just can't.

 _Speak of the devil and he shall appear._

Phil walks into my room with a sinister grin on his face. "Get your ass in the kitchen, girl. You're mother wants to talk to you." I unconsciously flinch at the thought of Renee being called my mother, but I do what he says in an effort not to anger him. Renee is not my mother. My mother left me for dead in the fire that burned down my house.

I don't even know what a real mother is. My foster mom stands by and taunts me while her husband gets his rocks off by kicking and hitting me. My birth mom left me to die in a house fire when I was young, so she's not any better than Renee is.

My walk down to the kitchen is swift. Renee is sitting down at the kitchen table that we never use. "Phil and I are taking a vacation for our anniversary. We are leaving in two days. We will return on June 14. This house better be fucking shining by the time we get back."

She reaches in her purse and pulls out one twenty dollar bill and one ten dollar bill. "This is for food and it has to last you until we get back."

I don't say anything. I don't even move. _They're giving me thirty dollars for food! I've never held that much money before in my entire life!_ I don't show any emotion on my face despite the giddiness I am feeling inside. This must have upset Phil because the next thing I know, my face is being slammed down on the kitchen table.

"Why don't you show your mother a little gratitude, you ungrateful bitch?"

He slams my face against the table once more. I can feel blood trickling out of my nose and mouth. The entire right side of my face is numb. I can't feel anything anymore as he continues his assault.

Eventually, he lets up. I take the money that Renee put on the table, nod my head in a 'thank you', and rush upstairs to the bathroom.

Looking at the damage that Phil has done to my face, I quickly come to the conclusion that I can't go out in public looking like this. The right side of my face is bruised and swollen. There's no way people wouldn't suspect something. I also don't want Edward to see me like this. I'm already ugly enough, there's no need to make me look even more like the ugly duckling.

 _Can I use some of Renee's makeup to cover this up?_ No. I ended up with a few broken ribs and a busted lip last time I tried to go down that route.

I think for a few more minutes before I remember the makeup that Edward got me for Christmas. I have been slowly wearing some of the outfits that Edward got me for Christmas so Phil and Renee don't get suspicious as to where my new clothes are coming from.

I make my way to my closet and get out the bag of presents from Edward. I quickly find the makeup and rush back to the bathroom before Phil or Renee finds me with it. I quickly put it on, just enough to cover the new bruises, and make my way outside to catch the bus.

The school day drags on and on. I'm in hell with Edward not being by my side. When I get to Charlie's class, I slide into my seat in the back and pull out my research paper. This is the day that we have to turn it in. I'm extremely apprehensive in turning in my paper. Between all the stories about Charlie's old life and all the articles I have read about behavior and abuse victims, I am one hundred percent positive that Charlie knows that something is wrong with my home life. Choosing this particular topic for me was just his way of telling me that he knows.

Class goes by quickly, but all I can do is look over my paper.

 _Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. Worse! You can heal broken bones; you can't heal a broken mind._

 _Even though an abuse child may escape their abuser, the feelings do not leave them. They are often ashamed of their past. They continue to let their abuser control them by constantly putting them down._

 _Trauma leaves 'fingerprints' on the victim. These don't fade like the bruises do._

Everything in this paper makes me feel like I'm reading my own biography. It describes my life to a T.

 _Did Charlie really give me this topic for him or did he do it for me?_ He knows. For the first time in my entire life, someone knows that something is up with how I get treated at home. 

I feel my body go rigid as the final bell rings. I know I have to talk to him about it. I can't have him saying anything to anyone else. It's too much of a risk.

I wait for everyone else to leave the classroom so it's only Charlie and me. I slowly walk up to his desk, not wanting to have this conversation.

"Isabella, it's nice to see you. Are you ready to turn in your paper? I'm really looking forward to reading it." Charlie says sweetly, as if he doesn't know how close this paper is to my heart. As if our last conversation at the football game about Robert never happened.

I take a deep breath and brace myself for what I am about to do. "Why did you give me this topic? The truth this time please."

Charlie's eyes go wide as soon as he hears my voice. "Isabella, I –"

"Was this just some kind of cruel joke? Having me read all these articles? Were you trying to get me to do something, Charlie? Because it won't work. Whatever you thought this paper would do to me, it didn't." I can't help the hurt that is in my voice. I loved this class all semester; it was my favorite. If he was just screwing with me this entire time, I don't know what I'd do.

"Isabella, that's not it at all. I gave you this topic because I need closure and I think you need help. I didn't want to do anything without you knowing or your consent first. I owe you that much." He says calmly.

 _What does he mean 'do anything without my consent'? Was he going to report 'it?' He doesn't even know exactly what 'it' is._

Slight anxiety falls over me. Part of me wants to tell him everything, but the other part, the rational part of me, knows that no one would believe him if he tried. Charlie makes me feel so safe when I'm around him because of things like this. He acts as if he genuinely wants to help me.

 _How can he make me feel like this? How can he make me feel cared for like a father is supposed to care for his daughter?_

With another deep breath, I say what I've been needing to say these past few weeks.

"I know why you gave me the topic, Charlie. I know what you want me to tell you, but I can't. All you need to know is that I'm fine. I'm not Robert. I'm not going to kill myself just because I have a sucky home life. You don't have to worry about me."

He visibly takes in a deep breath. "Isabella, I never thought you would. You're too strong for that. I see that now. I still don't regret giving you this topic. I needed the closure and you needed to know that you aren't alone. I'm here for you, Isabella. Edward is here for you. You just have to trust us enough to help you."

"I can't tell you how much that meant to me, Charlie. Over this semester, you've helped me not only in literature, but as a person. I do trust you. You've proved that you care time and time again. I can't thank you enough for that. Now, I realize that in the beginning you were only trying to get me to talk to you about 'it,' but I wasn't ready then. I'm not ready now if I am honest. I hope that you know that now. Know that I'm trying and I hear what you're saying," I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the biggest lie I've ever told, "but there is nothing you need to worry about."

I don't give him a chance to respond before I start to head out the door. If I stay any longer, I'm going to start revealing things I shouldn't. When I get to the door, I pause. I turn around to find Charlie staring at me. An overwhelming sense of thankfulness for all the effort he put into trying to help me washes over me.

"Oh, and Charlie?"

"Yes?"

"Call me Bella."

"Okay. Goodbye Bella. I will see you next year." And with that, I start summer vacation.

 **A/N: What did ya'll think? Leave your opinions in a review! All the quotes from Bella's paper about trauma and abuse that are in italics, are not mine. No copyright is intended. All rights go to their respective owners.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **You gotta move it slowly, take and eat my body like its holy. I've been waiting for you for this whole week. I've been praying for you, you're my Sunday candy." – Chance the Rapper**

Chapter 22

EPOV

May 2009

Two weeks. It's been two weeks since I've seen my girl for more than just enough time to give her a hug. I've been off playing football for the national playoffs. We would leave during the school week, play on Friday, then come back home for only a couple days. It takes the entire weekend to drive back home because we've been playing teams from out in the middle of nowhere, United States. We've gone to Texas and Georgia for our past two games and we slaughtered both of them. All of our hard work from the season is finally paying off. We are this close to winning the national championship and I am also this close to being rid of football for a little while. It's so close I can almost taste it.

The bus finally pulls into the high school parking lot. There is a crowd of people and reporters standing around waiting for the bus to pull up. Everyone stands us and is anxious to get off this stupid bus that we've been on for twelve hours. We all start to get our stuff and get off when coach stops us.

"I do not want any of you talking to the reporters or any news people. I want you all to stay focused on the game next week. I will handle all press business until we win ourselves the national championships on Friday!" The entire bus yells in agreement. "Until then, rest up. We practice tomorrow at 8:00 a.m." We all collectively groan and coach just smirks at us. "Good job, boys. See you tomorrow, bright and early!" And with that we all rush off the bus and to the awaiting crowd.

The first thing I do when I step out of the charter bus is find my parents. Although they came to both games, I was unable to talk to them because of coach. There were news reporters everywhere and he didn't want us to say anything to them, so he removed us from the football field as soon as the clock on the scoreboard went off, not even giving us time to celebrate the win. As soon as I see them, I rush over to them. I hug them and kiss my mom on the cheek.

"We are so proud of you, Edward." My mom says sweetly.

Dad smiles at me and pats my back. "You were amazing out there, son. You've worked extremely hard this year and now it's all paying off."

"I know. I am so close to finishing this season. I want to do it the right way. The only way that's going to be is if we win this national championship." I smirk as I hear the whoops and hollers from around me.

My parents laugh. They help me carry my luggage to my Volvo. "Can I bring Bella over for dinner tonight? I haven't seen her in a while and I miss her." I look to them hopefully. The only thing I want to do right now is bury myself in her presence.

"Of course you can, sweetie. I want to see her too."

I hug my mom once more because she sounds so sincere in her words. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I'm going to go get her right now."

"Be safe!" Dad yells as I fly out of the parking lot in my car. I speed all the way to her house, my stomach getting more and more butterflies with every mile. When I pull in her driveway, the first thing I notice is that her house looks deserted. The police cruiser is nowhere to be seen. All the lights in the house are off. It's only 4:30 on a Sunday evening, so I don't know where else they could be.

Despite the aroma of a ghost house, I get out of my car and knock on the front door. It's a minute before anyone answers, but as soon as she pulls open the door, I envelope her in my arms. "I've missed you so much, baby."

I feel Bella stiffen at the initial contact, but relaxes and hugs me back when she realizes it's me.

"Edward." It's all she says, but it's enough for me.

I pull back just far enough so I can attach my lips to hers. My hands cradle her face as I kiss her. I pour so much emotion into this kiss that I am shocked when she kisses me back in the same way.

When I need to breathe, I pull back and rest my forehead on hers. "I've missed you so much."

She giggles. "You said that already."

"I know, but it's true."

She giggles again. "I missed you too, Edward."

I smile and lean back from her. I take in the surroundings of her house and note that it looks like no one is home.

Bella must have read my mind because the next things she says is, "They left for vacation a couple hours ago. I'm by myself until June 14." A sad smile crosses her face and she shrugs like it's no big deal.

"What do you mean 'you're by yourself until June 14'? That's three weeks by yourself!" I yell.

She flinches slightly at my yelling and I immediately feel bad. "Shit, Bella. I didn't mean to yell." I try to cup her face once more, but she swats my hand away. "Bella…"

"Don't." She starts to walk away from me, but I grab her hand. She doesn't turn to face me, but she does stop walking. "They do this all the time, Edward. This is nothing new to me." She whispers so low that I can barely hear it.

I don't know how to respond to that. I knew her foster parents didn't really care about her, but leaving her alone for three weeks? That shit is unreal.

"Bella…"

"I said don't." She finally turns around to face me. "Just don't worry about me, okay?"

I narrow my eyes at her. How can I not worry about her? I'm fucking in love with her, not that she knows that yet, but still.

Trying to change the subject, she quickly asks, "How was the game? I heard you guys won, but nothing more than that."

I sigh and pull her to me once more. This time she lets me do it. I lightly press my lips to the top of her head and say, "It was fine. We smoked both teams. It wasn't really a challenge. I wish you could have been there. I missed seeing you in the stands." I start to rub soothing circles across her back, trying to get her to relax into me. It takes a few minutes for her to respond to my touch, but eventually, she melts in my arms.

"I missed seeing you play. I wish I could be there for your last game, too, but I can't."

"Why can't you?" I ask, a plan forming in my head.

Bella looks at me curiously. "Because I have no way of getting there." She says in a duh voice.

"You said it yourself, Phil and Renee are gone until mid-June. The championship game is on Friday. Bella you can totally come to my game now!"

She looks at me disbelievingly. "Edward, that may be true, but I don't have a way to get down there. I don't have money to stay in a hotel. I can't drive. It's just not possible. I'm sorry." She looks down at the ground. She sounds so dejected.

"Bella, yes you can. My parents are driving down there. You can just ride with them. As for the hotel, you know you don't have to pay for anything. You can stay with me." I freeze, not realizing what I said until it was already out of my mouth. I quickly rephrase my statement to make sure she doesn't feel uncomfortable. "Well, that is only if you want to. I don't want to just assume that you'd sleep with me." I feel the heat rush to my face. _Shit, that didn't come out right either._ "Not sleep with me like sex, I mean –"

I'm interrupted by Bella's giggles. "I know what you meant, Edward. I just –. I just don't know… I don't want to impose on your family. I mean they're going to see you play football not taking some girl up there to sleep with you." Her voice is so low at the very end that I don't think I was supposed to hear it. She looks back down at the floor.

I grab Bella's chin and force her to look me in the eyes. "Bella, you are not just some girl. You are _my_ girl. You're not going up there so you can sleep with me." I give her a pointed look. "You're going up there because I want you to be at the game. I need you to be at that game, Bella." I lean in close to her, like I'm going to kiss her, but I stop right before my lips touch hers. "Please Bella?" I beg.  
I pull away just far enough so I can see her eyes. We stare at each other for a few minutes before she finally concedes. "Okay. I'll go."

I smile and press my lips to her once more. We kiss until neither one of us can breathe. When we pull back, I rest my forehead against hers. "Come home with me."

"Okay."

We get in my car and drive to my house after that. As soon as we walk in the door, my mom engulfs Bella in a hug. When she doesn't let go of Bella for five minutes, I decide now is the time to rescue my girlfriend from my over affectionate mother. "Ma, don't crush my girl, please. I need her."

Mom eventually pulls away from Bella. She turns to me and says, "It's your fault." She presses a finger against my chest. "You don't bring her over as often as you should. I thought I taught you how to share better than that."

I roll my eyes at her antics and change the subject. "Are we going to eat or not? I'm starving."

Mom childishly sticks her tongue out at me for changing the subject, but answers me anyway. "Your father should be getting it out of the oven right now."

"Good. Let's go eat then." I take Bella's hand and lead her over to the kitchen table. Exactly as my mother predicted, Dad was putting the food, fresh out of the oven, on to the table. When he sees Bella, a huge grin comes across his face. He moves over to us and hugs Bella too.

"It's nice to see you again, Bella."

Bella smiles and hugs him back in return. We all take our places at the table, Bella beside me, and being to eat. Everyone makes small talk until I mention the game.

"So, uh, Mom, Dad, can Bella ride up with you to UDUB for the game? Her foster parents are out of town for the next few weeks, so they can't take her. Not that they would anyway." I say the last part too low for anyone else to hear. "I really want her to come, please." I give them my best puppy dog face.

My mom raises her eyebrow. "Your foster parents just left you at home, Bella?"

I feel Bella stiffen. _Oh shit. Not the part of my question I wanted them to pick up on._

Bella slowly nods her head, unable to form any other kind of response.

"So you are in your house all alone for the next few weeks?" My mom presses.

Bella nods her head once again. She slowly starts to hang her head in shame. I put my hand on her thigh and gently squeeze. She doesn't acknowledge my touch. I glare at my mom. _What the fuck was she doing? Trying to make Bella feel like shit? Cause it's working._

My mom continues, "Well, I won't stand for that. You will be staying with us until they get home." Mine and Bella's head snap up at the same time. "No one should be alone for that long. You can bring your stuff over tomorrow, but for tonight, I am sure Edward can give you some clothes to sleep in."

I turn to look at Bella who seems frozen in her spot. I begin rubbing circles on her back so she will calm down. "What my mom means is you can stay here if you want to. No one is forcing you to do anything."

"No, I am forcing her to stay here, Edward. A girl her age doesn't need to be home alone for weeks at a time."

I turn to look at Bella who now looks like she is about to cry. Before I have a chance to talk to her, she whispers, "Okay, I'll stay here."

Completely floored that she just agreed to this, a shit eating grin appears on my face. "Really?"

Bella nods her head.

I can't help but pick her up out of her seat and kiss her. It's not until I hear someone clear their throat that I remember that we are still at the kitchen table with my parents. I quickly set Bella down on her feet and we finish our food quickly. We are both eager to settle in for the night.

When Mom gets finished eating, she stands up and says, "I'll go get the spare bedroom ready for you, Bella."

My heart sinks at her words. I wanted Bella to stay in my room. I start to pout and Bella giggles.

Bella and I finish eating our food and head up to my room. I give her a t-shirt and some of my boxers for her to sleep in.

We stay in my room for a while after dinner to just talk. We talk about mindless things for hours until I finally build up the courage to ask her why she looked like she was about to cry at the table earlier.

Her response nearly killed me inside. "I felt like I was going to cry. I could feel tears stinging the back of my eyes, but I held them back."

"Why did you feel like you were going to cry though?"

She looks away as she answers. "Because it was the first time in my life that someone thought about my needs…"

I remain silent. I can't imagine how hard it must have been to tell me that right now. I don't know how to respond. I've never felt so wanted in my entire life and now… I feel like I have everything in the world."

"You are wanted more than you know, Bella." _I love you_. I want to say it so badly, but I bite my tongue. _It's not the right time._

"Will you just hold me, Edward?" She asks quietly.

"Of course."

We stay like that for a few more hours. Not saying anything, just being content with holding on to one another. Around midnight, my dad comes in my room and says it's time for Bella to go to the spare bedroom. I nod my head and Bella and I get out of bed.

I walk her to her room and kiss her lightly on the forehead. We say our goodbyes for the night and I leave her for the night. I get back to my room and try to go to sleep, but it doesn't work.

About three o'clock in the morning, I wake when I hear my door open and shut. I turn on my bedside lamp and find Bella standing in my doorway in my room.

"Are you okay, Bella?" I ask tentatively. I don't know if she's still overwhelmed from earlier or not, but I decide to act as if she is.

"Yeah, I just can't sleep. Strange house and all." She smiles softly at me.

I move the covers away and motion for Bella to climb in. She eagerly rushes to my side and gets under the covers. I pull her to my chest and wrap my arms around her. She puts her head on my chest and within minutes I hear her breathing even out. I find myself falling asleep not long after.

If my parents knew about Bella and me sleeping together, they didn't mention it. Every night, Bella would come to my room around two or three o'clock in the morning to sleep. Mom and Dad never mentioned anything about it and for that I am grateful. I like the feeling of completeness that Bella gives me when she is safe and sound in my arms at night. I want to keep this feeling for the rest of my life.

The next couple of days pass by way too quickly and before I know it, I am leaving Bella for football.

On Wednesday morning, I get on the bus that is taking the football team to the University of Washington, or UDUB for short. It's only going to take us about four hours to get from Forks to the school, but we're leaving two days early to get our heads focused for Friday's game. That's two days without my Bella. That's two days that Bella is home alone with my parents. I cringe at the thought of that. There's sixteen years' worth of embarrassing moments that my parents can tell her while I'm gone.

I kiss Bella goodbye and get on the bus to leave. I take a nap the entire bus ride there.

Coach gives us our room assignments when we get to the hotel. I'm with Emmett.

We spend the next two days practicing lightly and going over plays. Everyone is just anxious to play. We're all ready to win this championship.

The morning of the game, my mom calls me to tell me that they have arrived and checked into the hotel safely. Turns out, they are only two floors above Emmett and me. I don't get a chance to see Bella when they arrive because Coach has been riding everyone's asses about staying focused.

Before I know it, I'm lacing up my cleats and putting on my jersey for the last time of the season. When we walk into the stadium, I ignore the screaming crowd around us. I only focus on my team and this game. This game determines who wins nationals this year. This game determines whether or not Emmett gets to go to college. This game holds so much power for just a short amount of time. This game is it.

Our warm up goes by quickly and soon enough, the game is about to start. The national anthem is sung and we all take our places on the field.

The game is brutal. It is by far the hardest team we have played this season. At half time, the score is 14 to 17 and we are losing. We walk into the locker room with our heads down and hearts broken. Everyone looks like they are all out of fight. Instead of Coach picking us up and lifting our spirits an encouraging us, Emmett beats him to it.

"Would you guys cheer the fuck up? We are only down by three and we have an entire half left. We made it all the way to the national championship football game, guys. Now is not the time to sit around and pout about being down by a few points. All we have to do is score one touchdown and hold them for the rest of the game. We have worked our asses off all year for this! I am not going down without a fucking fight! My future is riding on this guys. Our entire town is counting on us to win. We can't them down. So pick your heads out of your asses and let's go play some football!" And with that, we rush onto the field a new team. Everyone seems to be reenergized or something because as soon as the game starts again, we score a touchdown in the first thirty seconds.

Our defense becomes unbreakable and our offense becomes unstoppable. This is the team that I know. This is the team that has fought tooth and nail for this championship for an entire year. This is my team.

With one 1:44 on the clock, it starts to rain like crazy, but that doesn't stop the game. The other team, Alabama's Hatton High, fumbles the ball and Seth picks it up right before it touches the ground. He quickly runs it to the other side of the field. He stealthily dodges all Hatton's attempts at tackling him and literally slides in for the final touch down. The buzzer goes off.

We did it! We won! Forks High School just won the national football championship. Cheers erupt from the stands I see people hop the rails and run onto the field. I instantly search for Bella. It's not long before I find her and run up to her.

"You were amazing, Edward! You did it."

The smile on her face is contagious and I find myself wanting to kiss her, so I do. When I pull back, a surge of emotions fill me. _This is it_. The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to overthink them.

"I love you, Bella. I love you so much." She looks like she wants to say something, but I stop her. "You don't have to say anything back. I don't expect you to. I just wanted you to know how I feel about you." She searches my eyes for something and I guess she finds it because the next thing I know, she is smashing her lips on mine. All our emotions and unspoken words are forced into this kiss.

We pull apart when Emmett runs over to us screaming, "I'm going to college! I'm going to college!" The giant beast of a man standing before us is jumping up and down clapping his hands in excitement like a five-year-old girl would.

I finally remember what he is talking about and congratulate him. "The UDUB coach gave you the scholarship?"

"Yeah. It is a full ride for all four years." His grin is contagious and I find myself smiling just as big right back at him.

"Emmett that's amazing!" It's Bella who beats me to the line. She lets go of me and eagerly throws her arms around Emmett.

"Thanks, little one. I'm so excited. I never thought it would actually happen, but now it is. Everything is just falling into place now. Even my Rosie is coming to UDUB. She got offered a cheerleading scholarship here a couple months ago. It's all working out and I couldn't be happier."

"That's great, Em. I'm so happy for you. You deserve this so much. Good luck in everything."

Bella lets go of Emmett so I can hug him. "I, uh, probably won't be back to our room tonight man. Rosalie wants to show me how proud she is of me tonight. If you know what I mean." He wiggles his eyebrows and I can't help but laugh.

"I so did not need to know that, Em."

"Of course you did, so now the room is all yours for the night." He looks suggestively between Bella and me. I try to laugh it off, hoping Bella doesn't pick up on his innuendos. Thankfully, she doesn't.

I talk to a few reporters and other fans from the crowd. Bella's hand stays firmly in mine the entire time. When everyone leaves the stadium and all the excitement dies down, Bella and I meet up with my parents after I change out of my football uniform.

Everywhere we go, people recognize me and congratulate me on the game. It feels like it takes forever for us to find someplace to eat, eat, and then make it back to the hotel. The entire time we are out, Bella and I are always touching. It feels so intimate and so amazing at the same time. It takes everything in me not to touch her like I want to touch her.

When we get back to the hotel and get on the elevator, my dad slips something in my hand. I glance down and find a couple of condom wrappers and a note in my hand. I look at my dad but he's looking away; I can still see the smirk on his face.

I quickly put the condoms in my back pocket before Bella has a chance to notice them and pull out the note.

 _I want grandbabies, just not while you're still in high school. We love you. Be safe. Goodnight._

 _Love,_

 _Mom and Dad_

I smile and roll my eyes. I love my parents.

When we get to my floor, I grab Bella's hand and pull her out of the elevator with me.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought you might be more comfortable in the same room as me tonight. Em isn't going to be back so it'll be just us. You can have his bed and I'll be in the other or you can have my bed or we can be in the same bed." I take a deep breath to try and stop my babbling.

I turn to look at Bella to find her with her hand covering her mouth, trying to hold in her laughter. "Why, Edward Cullen, are you asking me to sleep with you tonight?"

I feel the heat rush to my cheeks. "Maybe. Do you want to sleep with me tonight? I mean just sleep, like we've been doing this entire week?" I've never felt this nervous talking to her before. She probably thinks I'm a babbling idiot right now that is until her face breaks out in a huge grin.

"I would love to." She giggles and I lean in to kiss her. It's sweet and chaste and I immediately want more, but I don't push.

When we get back to the room, I start to ask her if she wants to take the first shower or if she wants me to, but I never get the chance. As soon as the door closes, Bella's lips are on mine. _Guess I'm not the only one who wasn't satisfied with the kiss in the hallway._

I react instantly. I turn her around and press her against the door. Her hands go to my hair and I moan at the feeling of her tugging at the ends.

"You fuck up my control, Bella." I whisper against her neck. I press my hips against hers firmly so she can feel what she's doing to me.

Her response is instant. "So stop holding back," she says boldly. She bucks her hips back at me in a way that makes me moan very loudly.

I move my hands down from her face to her breasts. I firmly cup them and she arches her back into my hand, begging me to touch her. My hands drift lower to the buttons of her pants, wanting to undo them, but pause when the reality of what we're doing hits me.

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" I ask tentatively.

She doesn't hesitate. "I've never been surer of anything in my life. I want to be with you. I want to tie myself to you in as many ways humanely possible, Edward. I want you." She pauses for a moment then starts again. "You asked me once, what I would wish for if I had one wish. I want to be loved, Edward. My wish would be to be loved by someone for the first time in my life. Love me, Edward." She whispers the last part so low I don't know if I'm supposed to hear it.

Not needing any other reassurance, I quickly yank both of our shirts off. I pick her up by the hips. Instinctively, her legs wrap around me. I continue my assault on her lips and walk us to the bed to gently lay us down on it. I take her bra off and immediately attach my lips to her breasts. Her moans get louder and louder as I move lower down her body. I come up between every kiss and say, "You. Deserve. To. Be. Loved. I. Love. You. So. Much. Bella." Her only response was a moan.

When I get to her jeans, I swiftly unbutton them and pull them off of her legs. Her panties follow soon after. I kiss my way up her leg and am almost to the apex of her thighs when Bella breathes out, "Edward."

I immediately stop my actions. _Maybe she isn't ready for this after all._ I make my way up her body to find a sexy smirk on her face. I look at her, confused as hell.

"You have on too much clothes, Edward." I can't help the chuckle that escapes me. I lean down to kiss her forehead. Her fingers go straight to the waistband of my sweatpants and pull them down. My boxers follow soon after.

My hands start to drift down to the apex of her thighs. I start rubbing circles around her clit. I start thrusting two fingers inside of her, trying to stretch her for what is about to come next. It doesn't take long for her to reach her climax.

After she comes back down from her high, I place myself at her entrance and look directly in to her eyes. "Are you ready?"

For the first time tonight, she looks scared. "Is it going to hurt, Edward?"

"Only for a second, then I'll make it go away, Bella. I promise." She nods her head and softly press my lips against hers as I push in. I feel her stiffen at the initial tear, but it doesn't take long for her to start moving her hips with mine, desperate for some friction.

We move in tandem during our love making. Every time I move, she moves. I feel so close to my climax, but I hold it back and make sure that she is close too.

"Are you close, baby?"

She moans. "I need more, Edward. I'm almost there."

I reach my hand in between us and start rubbing her clit at the same pace that I am thrusting into her. Seconds later, I feel her climax which triggers my own climax.

I stay on top of her for a few more seconds and then pull out. I roll over to my side so I can face her. She looks so beautiful right now. "You're glowing, baby."

She smiles and blushes at my words. "That was amazing, Edward. When can we do it again?"

My dick hardens immediately and I pull her on top of me. She's already wet and ready for me. She giggles and we start all over again. We make love all night and then I fall asleep, holding the girl that I love, in my arms.

 **A/N: So, what do ya'll think? Was it good? Was it bad? Let me know what you think in a review! See you next week!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Note the dates in this chapter. Time flies by fast in them, but I want to move on to the big part of the story so I had to do this. I have had these chapters written months in advance. I know exactly what is going on in this story and you guys will know soon enough. None of your questions will be left unanswered, I promise. If I didn't mention something important (not putting on a condom, Renee and Phil going on vacation at the time of the football game) there is a reason. Some of your questions will be answered in this chapter, but others will remained unanswered until the very end of this story. Everything happens in this story for a reason. Even little, inconsequential details from the first couple chapters that you probably didn't notice will come back and have a bigger meaning for the story. Just wait! Everything has a reason! Enjoy!**

 **"** **Like the tears we cried that day we had to leave. It was everything we wanted it to be the summer of nineteen you and me." – Dan and Shay**

Chapter 23

BPOV

June 2009

I stay with Edward and his family until June 13. The night before Phil and Renee are supposed to come back to Forks, I get Edward to take me home so I can clean and have the house ready for Phil and Renee the next morning.

Ever since the night of Edward's championship football game, he and I have been inseparable. We are constantly touching here and there, some are innocent and some are not. Everything about him is so perfect to me. He's beautiful and funny and smart and witty and best of all, he loves me, or at least he claims he does. For the first time in my life, someone has told me that they love me. I don't know if I completely believe him or not, but I definitely know he cares about me more than you would for someone who is just a friend.

Every time we go to sleep at night, he tells me loves me. Every time he sees me, he tells me he loves me. Every time we have to part, even if it's for a moment, he tells me he loves me. It's an amazing feeling just to hear someone say it. It's something that most people take for granted every day, but I don't and I hope I never will. Part of me still thinks this is all some sort of sick joke, but the bigger part of me ignores that little voice in my head.

Summer flies by quicker than it has ever before. For the first time ever, I am not at home everyday living in fear of Phil. On most days, I am with Edward and his family at his house. How he got Phil and Renee to agree to that, I will never know or understand.

My relationship with Edward makes me feel amazing. He makes me feel amazing. Emotionally, mentally, and physically, he is my everything. I trust him with everything that I am and I would do anything for him. To be cared for by someone like this… words can't describe what it feels like.

Every time he tells me he loves me, I feel slightly guilty. I know he wants me to say it back, even though he'd never admit it. I know I care for him greatly, but I've never been loved by anyone before, let alone love someone else. I don't know how it feels to love someone. I don't know if what I feel for Edward is love, but it's strong. I have no idea how to tell him this either, so every time he says 'I love you,' I simply smile because I have no idea what else I'm supposed to do. I don't want to tell him 'I love you' if I don't truly mean it.

At home, I go to sleep every night thinking about how he makes me feel, but by the time the morning comes around the next day, all thoughts of Edward have vanished. Every morning, I wake up in a cold sweat. I've been having these strange nightmares ever since I left Edward's house. It's like I'm trapped in this place and I can't get out. It keeps getting harder and harder for me to breathe. The more I struggle, the harder it is for me to get loose. It feels like I'm stuck for hours before I finally wake up.

I don't want to tell anyone about them because I don't want to burden them with all my drama. I keep this to myself even though I can feel myself slowly dying inside because of it. Edward doesn't seem to notice it either, or if he has, he hasn't said anything about it.

 **July 2009**

One particularly hot summer day, Edward asked me if I wanted to go to his house to play football. He said it was some kind of family tradition that they always did. Edward always got Jacob and Seth to come over to play against his Dad, Mom, and his sister. He said this year would be different thought because they didn't have it last year because Alice died, so they are reinventing the tradition. Jacob is also not coming this year either. Something is going on between him and Edward because every time someone brings up Jacob, Edward tenses up. He won't tell me what is wrong, but I can gather that they are not as close as they used to be. Instead of Jacob, Emmett will be joining us and I will be taking Alice's place. Seth will still be there and so will Edward's parents.

Edward is on his way to pick me up when Phil comes up to my room. Surprisingly, he and Renee have been fairly decent to me these past few weeks. No comments about their vacation or my whereabouts the entire time they were gone. They don't suspect a thing.

He walks in my room with a sick grin on his face. "Where do you think you're going today, bitch? My Renee never got to be on TV because we were on vacation, so that means I get to make up for all the time I've missed while you were off screwing that boy. It's time for your punishment, little girl. I know you've missed our special times together."

I don't move. I don't acknowledge his presence. I don't do anything. He's too angry. I'm afraid that if I actually do something, then I will make him angrier than he already is, if that's even possible.

Apparently not doing anything is the wrong choice of action. Completely outraged at my lack of fright from his threats, Phil angrily grabs ahold of my shoulders and slings me out of the bed.

"You will answer me when I am talking to you!"

He stalks over to where I am currently laying on the ground. He looks completely murderous. I cower away from him. This is the worst he's been in months. I almost forgot how scary he can be. Almost.

When he gets over to me, he picks up by my hair. Pain shoots through me, but I am able to contain my screams of agony. Phil literally drags me down the stairs, by my hair, to the kitchen. When he finally lets go of my hair, it is only to sling me against the table.

My chest and stomach take most of the brunt from hitting the kitchen table. I hit the table so hard that it starts to fall over on top of me. Instinctively, my arms reach out to cover my face from everything that is falling on top of me.

I hear plates crash on the ground, breaking. I feel utensils and papers slide on top of me. Just when I think everything has fallen off already, I feel a searing pain in my forearm. I immediately jerk my arm away from the sudden pain. The motion sends a knife flying across the room.

Phil stops stalking towards me and begins to laugh. I guess seeing me in pain not directly caused by him is more amusing than causing me pain by himself. His laughter is soon replaced by an eerie calm.

"My little bitch didn't bother to tell her loving parents that they would be gone at the time that all the TV crews were going to be in Forks. That wasn't very nice." The way he says this, so eerily calm, scares me more than his words do. "You know my baby actually cried when she found out she missed her shot? She fucking cried. You made her cry and for that, you're going to pay for every single tear she shed. You will suffer and you will not survive."

I freeze. He can't be serious.

As if he could read my mind, he continues, "Oh, I'm dead serious. You will see. I'm going to drag out your punishment, bitch."

He stands there and laughs at my reaction for a few more minutes before turning to walk out the door. I hear the cruiser leave the driveway and it's only then that I let out a deep breath. _He's gone. He's had his fill of torture for the day._

I'm going to die. I can feel it. Phil blames me for Renee crying and now he's going to suffer for it, even though it's not my fault. None of this stuff is ever my fault.

I suddenly get angry. _Why do all the bad things in life happen to me? What did I do to deserve it? Why does my life suck so badly? Why can't anything ever go my way? Why do all the good things happen to the people who take it for granted? If I had one good thing in my life, I know I wouldn't take it for granted._

I hear tires pull up in the driveway. I freeze. Maybe Phil isn't done with me after all. I try to get up off the floor before he comes back inside, but end up tripping and falling back down on the glass. I groan in pain as my skin comes in contact with broken dishes that slice my arms and legs up on impact.

"Bella? Is that you?" _It's Edward. Thank God_. "Babe, are you okay?" Edward opens the door, not bothering to ask for permission.

Words can't describe how happy I am seeing him in this moment. Then I realize something. This excitement I feel, it's an astonishing feeling. Edward is the good thing in my life. He's always here for me when I need him. He makes me feel amazing. He makes me feel like I'm actually wanted. He's everything to me. Being with him makes me forget all about Phil's promises of torture and I simply relish in my Edward's presence.

I'm so overwhelmed by my feelings and thoughts that I don't even register that Edward is still talking to me until he lightly touches my arm. I gasp in pain at the movement of my injure arm.

Edward frowns and turns my arm over, inspecting it. When he sees the giant gash about four inches long going down my forearm, he gasps. "What the hell happened to your arm, Bella?"

My mind is frantic trying to give him a good explanation. I can't tell him what really happened, so I think of the best lie I can on the spot. "I tripped and a knife fell on me."

He looks at me incredulously. "I'm serious. My leg got caught on the table leg and I fell. The table came down with me, thus the knife being on the floor."

"Bella." He gives me a knowing look.

"It's the truth, Edward." I huff and break eye contact with him. I hate that he can see right through me. I know he doesn't believe my story, but he lets it go.

Slowly, he helps me up out of the broken dishes. He picks everything up so I don't have to later. He takes me to his house and immediately gets Carlisle to patch me up.

Carlisle's eyes go wide when he finally sees all the cuts on me. "I think you are going to need more than just a few bandages for these. I think I have some supplies for stitches in my office. Bella, if you will follow me." He sticks his hand out and gestures for me to walk with him.

When Edward starts to follow us up the stairs, Carlisle stops him in his tracks by putting his hand up. "Go help your mother set up for the game in the backyard. Emmett and Seth are already back there." Edward's eyes shift to me. Carlisle notices and a small smile comes across his face. "I've got her, son. I am more than capable of giving Bella here a few stitches. Don't worry. We'll be down in a few minutes." Edward looks like he wants to argue further, but nods anything.

Carlisle and I continue our way to his office. I'm slightly apprehensive because this is my first time being alone with only Carlisle. All of the other times I've been with him, I've had either Esme or Edward with me.

My apprehensiveness disappears once he starts stitching me up. It's no wonder why this guy is a doctor. Carlisle's bedside manner is impeccable. He makes small talk with me, trying to get me to forget about the fact that he is repeatedly poking holes in my skin with a needle.

When he finishes most of the major cuts on my arms and legs, he starts bandaging up the smaller ones. When he is almost done, I hear Carlisle take a deep breath, like he is preparing himself for something big.

"I want to apologize for my behavior when I first met you, Bella. I want to apologize to you about how I treated my son when I found out you and him were together. It was inexcusable and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I made my son's life miserable because I felt miserable. I didn't want him to find happiness in something other than what I could do for him. I thought my son was ruining his life because he is thinking with the wrong head. I couldn't have been more wrong. I see that now. I hope you can find it somewhere in you to forgive me for my actions when we first met. If you can't, then I understand. Quite frankly, I don't think I deserve yours or my son's forgiveness at all, but my son has found it him to forgive me, so can you Bella?"

I am completely shocked at Carlisle's words. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect anyone to ever ask for my forgiveness about anything – I wasn't worth it to anyone – and yet her I am. My eyes well up in tears and I throw my arms around Carlisle, giving him my answer.

"Easy, Bella, I don't want you to rip open your stitches, not five minutes after I put them in there." He slowly untangles himself out of my grasp and checks my arms and legs to make sure everything is still intact. "So you'll forgive me?"

I nod my head yes and I can see Carlisle's eyes well up in tears. "Thank you, Bella. I can't tell you what it means to me."

I smile and he and I walk back downstairs and out the door to the backyard where everyone is waiting for us.

When Edward sees me, he runs up to me and pulls me in for a hug. He pulls back slightly and looks to his dad. "What's the verdict?"

"Nothing too major. I had to put seven stitches in that gash on her forearm. Everything else just needed bandages. She'll be fine. I do suggest that she sit out on the game today, though. I wouldn't want her stitches to tear unnecessarily."

Edward nods his head in agreement. He takes my hand and leads me to a chair on the porch that has a view of everything. "Just stay up here, okay? I'll come and check on you every couple of plays."

I smile and nod my head.

Emmett and Seth walk up to our place on the porch. "What's the matter, Bella? You get too scared to play against the big bad teddy bear Emmett here?" Seth jokes.

I roll my eyes and laugh along with the guys. I love feeling so free when I am around these people. _It's another good thing I have in my life._

"Are you three ready to play or are you guys just going to stand up there like a bunch of pansies?" My mouths drops and I have to fight to hold in my giggles. I never thought I would hear those words come out of Esme Cullen's mouth.

Em and Seth give each other funny looks before running back to their home mad field for the start of the game. Edward stays behind for a few more minutes to ensure that I am okay. With one quick peck on the forehead and an 'I love you,' Edward is off to the field too.

I watch them play for hours. Edward, Esme, and Carlisle smoke Seth and Emmett over and over again. No matter how hard Seth and Emmett tried, they just couldn't even compare to the Cullen's.

Throughout the entirety of their game, I sat back, watched, and enjoyed myself for what felt like forever. It felt amazing.

Around seven o'clock, the skies begin to darken and the inevitable happens. This _is_ Forks after all. The rain pours down in an instant. Seconds later, everyone is rushing to get inside. When everyone makes it in, Esme offers to cook some dinner before everyone leaves to go home. Everyone quickly agrees and we are now sitting patiently around the kitchen table.

The storm outside begins to get worse and worse. Not even an hour after we came inside, the entire backyard is flooded. The rain keeps pouring, too. The thunder and lightning keep getting louder and louder. Not that I would ever admit it, but I'm still terrified of storms like this. In an effort to not show how scared I really am, I curl up on Edward's arm and try to listen to the boys' conversation.

Not even two seconds later, Esme comes in, holding mountains of food for us all. Immediately, everyone starts to dig in. We enjoy the food and the time together for a little while longer. When everyone decides to go home, Esme absolutely refuses.

"Are you people crazy? It's raining cats and dogs outside! Not to mention the lightning every two seconds!" As if on cue, another round of lightning strikes, this one closer to the house than all the rest. "All of you are staying here tonight. The weather is just too terrible for anyone to be driving in right now."

I freeze. I look to Edward for help. _I can't stay here tonight! Phil and Renee are going to have a fit!_

Edward notices my reaction and grabs my hand reassuringly.

"Mom, can you call Bella's foster mom and tell her what's going on? I think Bella is worried that Renee will worry about her." I hold back a snort at Edward's attempt at making it seem like Renee actually cares about me, but it still gets the job done.

Esme calls Renee and explains the situation to her, and oddly enough, Renee agrees that it's safer over here and wants me to stay here for the night. I'm sure shock is all over my face when Esme comes back to the table and tells us what Renee said.

Edward's face breaks out into a giant grin. Carlisle and Esme must have picked up on what Edward was thinking because the next thing out of their mouths were room arrangements.

"Seth and Emmett, I am sure you two will be comfortable enough on the couches in the game room, right? Don't you think it's best that the lady of the group gets the spare bedroom?" Both Seth and Emmett agree by nodding their heads.

We all stay downstairs for a few more hours. Eventually, Esme and Carlisle retire to their rooms for the night. It's not until about an hour later that Edward notices me yawning. He announces to the group that we should all be going to sleep and with that, Edward walks me to my room. Like the perfect gentleman, he kisses my forehead and whispers 'goodnight' to me. Knowing I won't be able to sleep without him, I take my time in the room. I change into some of his clothes that he gave me and I shower. I want to give him time to do the same things before I head back to his room. I also want to give Emmett and Seth a chance to go to sleep so there is no chance that they will walk on Edward and me.

Just like I did at the beginning of the summer, when I finish my shower, I sneak all the way down the hall to Edward's room.

I haven't even opened the door completely before I'm engulfed by his embrace. "What took you so long, baby? I missed you." It is obviously a rhetorical question because he doesn't give me enough time to answer before he connects his lips to mine.

The moment his lips connect to mine, I moan. It's been too long since I've been with him, since he's been inside of me. We obviously are thinking the same thing because the kiss becomes more heated. I feel Edward's hands start to roam my body. We slowly start making our way to his bed. When we reach it, he carefully lays me down and stares at me like I am the most precious thing in the world. We make love the entire night before falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning, wrapped in each other's embrace.

 **August 2009**

I wake up in the middle of the night when I hear heavy boots stomping up the stairs. I silently pray that he's too drunk or too tired to come see me. It doesn't work.

I try to cover myself up as much as I can when I hear him open my bedroom door. I try to make myself as small as possible in hopes that he'll leave me alone.

"Wake up, bitch!"

I don't move. Maybe he'll buy that I'm asleep and go away. The universe seems to like screwing with me, so the moment that I think he's going away, I feel my thin blanket being ripped off of me.

"I said, it's time to wake up, you bitch!" Phil grabs my arm and yanks me out of my bed. I quickly stand on my own two feet, but that doesn't stop Phil from yanking me across my room.

"You've been gone all day every day for the past two months, I think I deserve some fun now too."

I whimper in pain for what I know is about to come.

Phil shoves me against the wall of my room. I hit it hard, my shoulders taking most of the brunt of the hit. Phil yanks me back from the wall by my hair.

"Are you having fun yet, you worthless slut? I told you that I was going to make you pay for how you screwed over my Renee. I'm here to collect another punishment."

Another whimper escapes me as he tightens his hold on my forearm – the same forearm that was cut with a knife a month earlier.

"We're going to go on a little trip down the stairs. Doesn't that sound like fun? I know it will be for me." His face is only a few inches away from mine now. For a split second, I think Phil is going to rape me. He's never done anything like that to me before. He's never crossed that line. I had marked off the chance that he would rape me because he has always said that I'm too ugly and nasty to touch like that, but the way he's looking at me right now makes me rethink the possibility that he might actually do it.

All thoughts of Phil raping me leave my mind as he yanks me towards the stairs.

"I want to play a game, girl. I want to see how many times you can bounce down the stairs before passing out! Doesn't that sound like a great game? I know I'm excited for it!" His voice grows darker as he continues, "Each bounce is for one tear that my Renee shed over not being on TV because of you. I want to see you suffer just as I saw her suffer. I want to see you cry."

I barely have time to scream before I am suddenly thrown down the stairs. My ass is the first thing to make contact with the stairs, about half way down from where he initially threw me. From there, I begin to tumble down to the bottom. Before I finally stop rolling at the bottom of the stairs, I hit my head, shoulder, and my leg.

The pain in my leg is unbearable. Before I can stop it, I find myself screaming in pain.

Phil comes down the stairs and picks me up once more. A sick, sinister grin crosses his face. "Looks like you've hurt yourself on the stairs again, bitch. You always were very clumsy."

He walks back up the stairs, me in his arms. This time when we get to the top of the stairs, he lays me down on my side and kicks me as hard as he can on my back. I begin to roll down the steps. Every time I hit the stairs, I can't help the yelp of pain that escapes me. It feels like every time I turn, my right leg hits something. The pain is so intense that I am almost to the point of blacking out.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs for the second time, I slowly lift my head up and try to see why my leg is in so much pain. The sight I find makes me throw up, literally. The bone is sticking straight up out of my leg. I can actually see my bone, the thing that is supposed to be inside my body. There is blood everywhere. It's running down my leg. It's gushing out of the spot where my bone is sticking out of my leg.

I feel the tears burn the back of my eyes, begging me to let them fall. I'm in so much pain right now and all I can think of is that I can't cry. I'm not weak. I'm not going to give Phil the satisfaction of seeing me cry from what he's done to me. I refuse to give Phil what he wants.

My entire body is on fire. There is not a spot on my body that doesn't feel like it isn't in hell right now.

I can't help the scream that escapes me when I feel Phil's hands on me once more. _Haven't I suffered enough for one night?_

He takes me to the top of the stairs for the third time and literally chucks me back down them. I don't remember hitting any stairs on my way down. The last thing I remember is hearing Phil laughing at me as I hit my head on the something very hard. Then my whole world goes black.

I wake up for the first time, in what has probably been days, in a pile of what I'm guessing is my own blood and vomit. I can't feel anything. I can't feel my entire body. I can barely keep myself conscious enough to hear Renee and Phil talking somewhere close to me.

"You have to take her to the hospital, Phil!"

"Why the hell should I waste my money on taking that bitch to the hospital? What has she ever done for me? And since when have you cared about this girl's well-being? I told her I would make her pay for what she's done to you! This was just the first step!"

"I don't care about the girl! All I care about is the monthly check we get from keeping her! If she's dead, then the checks stop coming, Phil."

Phil scoffs. "Dead? She's not dead, Renee."

"She may as well be! That girl has been lying in a pool of blood and vomit for almost three days! If she's not dead by now, she will be soon enough."

Phil mutters something under his breath.

I can't tell what happens next. Darkness starts to invade my vision once more.

 **A/N: What all do you think is wrong with Bella? What did ya'll think of Carlisle's and Bella's conversation? Do you think she was right to forgive him? Leave your thoughts in a review. See you guys next week! If you didn't read the first A/N at the top, then go back and ready it! It's important. If you still have questions about what happened with Renee missing the football game and not being on TV, feel free to PM me. If you have questions about the condom situation, wait a few weeks and you'll figure it out!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Enjoy.**

 **"** **Walking like a one man army fighting with the shadows in your head. Living out the same old moment, knowing you'd be better off instead, if you could only say what you need to say…" – John Mayer**

Chapter 24

EPOV

September 2009

I hear my parents talking in the kitchen when I come home from football practice. This is the first practice of the new school year and everyone's is still hyped up from winning nationals.

"You'll never guess who came into the hospital today, Esme." Dad said, a frown forming on his face.

"Who?" Mom asks worriedly.

"Bella."

"Edward's Bella? Why was she in the hospital?"

"She broke two bones in her leg. One bone was a clean break, but the other wasn't so lucky. The other bone was completely shattered. She needed surgery to repair the damage that the break did. She also had a severe concussion and cuts and bruises all over her leg. She said she didn't have any recollection of what happened, but I the signs are clear. I filed a report to social services before I came home. I just hope it does some good."

Dad takes a deep breath to compose himself before he continues. "The worst part of all this was that her parents didn't want her to have the surgery. They said something about not being able to afford it, but I looked at their insurance. They could have very easily afforded it. When I brought this to their attention, they quickly agreed to the surgery, but I could feel the tension flare up in the room. It was like they didn't want her to get better. It was all very sad, Esme."

I decide now is the best time to make my presence known. "What happened to Bella's leg, Dad? How did she break it?" I ask, worry and concern lacing my tone.

"Everything is alright, son, she's fine now. She's just a little banged up."

"A little banged up? A little banged up is falling down and scraping your knee. A little banged up is running into the wall and having a bruise on your forehead. You just said that Bella had to have surgery to fix her two broken bones in her leg! That's not just a little banged up!"

"Calm down, son. Yelling will not help you right now." I sigh angrily. I know he's right. "Good. Bella is fine now, Edward. She's in recovery at the hospital."

"I'm going to see her then." I start to walk out the door.

"Edward, you can't –"

I'm out the door and in my car before Dad has a chance to finish his sentence. He just doesn't understand. I have to know what's wrong with her. I have to know she's okay. It's crazy that I feel this strongly about her, but I can't help it. I'm completely in love with her and I would do anything for her.

Dread overcomes me with every mile to the hospital. What happened to her? Why didn't she try and contact me? How badly is she hurt?

When I get to the hospital, I all but run to the front desk. I quickly ding the bell until an elderly looking nurse comes around the corner.

"Can I help you with something, young man?" She asks, looking me up and down as if I'm some sort of parasite infesting her hospital.

"I need to find Bella Swan. She just got out of surgery for her leg. My Dad was the doctor who performed the surgery. His name is Carlisle Cullen." I add, hoping that she will let me through.

Her eyes light up in recognition. "Ah, yes. Your father called not even five minutes ago and warned us that you would be down here soon." I sigh in relief. "I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen," she continues, "but I can't allow you to see Miss Swan right now. It is family only visitation."

"WHAT?" I shout. A couple of nearby nurses glare at me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen. It's the hospital's policy. There is nothing I can do about it." She says calmly, as if my entire world wasn't suffering in a nearby room all alone.

"Please let me –"

"No."

"Please, can I just –"

"No."

"But what if –" I'm practically begging at this point.

"I said no, Mr. Cullen. If you have anything else to say, I suggest you take it up with our complaint box over there." She points to a small box sitting on top of the desk.

I huff angrily and start walking out the door when I hear a younger nurse begin talking to the old nurse that wouldn't let me see Bella. "Janice, the patient recovering from the leg surgery in room 204 is refusing to eat. If she doesn't eat, I can't give her the pain medication. I told her this and she still refused to eat. Nothing I have done is working and Dr. Cullen has her on strict orders not to be put to sleep for at least another hour because of her concussion. She won't talk to me, so I don't know what's wrong. It's all very frustrating."

 _She has to be talking about Bella._ Suddenly, an idea pops into my head and I rush to where the nurses were standing.

"I can get Bella to eat."

The older nurse, Janice I presume, scowled at me. "Who said anything about this being Bella?"

I scowled right back at her. "She did," I say, pointing at the younger nurse.

Janice rolls her eyes and turns her back to me. "I don't care what you have to say or do, just get the patient in 204 to eat. Shove it down her throat if you have to." And with that, Janice starts to walk off.

The other nurse looked at me with pity. I put on my charm and beg her to let me talk to Bella. It took a bit of convincing, but she finally led me to room 204.

"Do not tell Janice I let you do this. She would kill me. When she decides to eat, press the red button on the side of the bed. I'll come and distribute the food and medicine." A somber expression crosses her face. "She really needs these pain pills. She's fresh out of surgery with a concussion. I don't know how she's screaming in pain right now."

I frown. "I'll get her to eat, I swear." She nods and walks back down the hallway that we just came from.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what is waiting for me behind this door. I open the door and quickly realize that nothing could prepare me for what I see.

Bella is currently staring out the window, so she doesn't notice me immediately. I take this moment to examine her injuries. Her leg is definitely broken. It is lifted off the bed with a sling hanging from a machine. She has a bandage wrapped all the way around her head. She has tons of cuts and bruises all over her body. She looks so pale and fragile. My heart breaks knowing she's in so much pain right now.

"Bella," I whisper, but she still hears me.

Her head whips around so fast I am afraid she's going to get dizzy from it.

"Edward. You're here. Why are you here?" Her voice cracks with every word. I can see the unshed tears forming in her eyes.

"Why am I here?" I ask unbelievingly. "I'm here because you are clearly hurt and you didn't tell me about it."

She hangs her head in shame. "I blacked out when it happened. I'm sorry. I don't even remember how I got here in the first place."

"You blacked out? Baby, what happened? How'd you break your leg? How'd you get a concussion?" I ask warily. I want her to feel comfortable telling me the truth. I hate it when she lies to me about these things.

I move closer to her bed and move the chair so I am sitting right next to her head.

I can see the debate going on in her head from her face. She's like an open book sometimes.

"I, uh, tripped going down the stairs in the middle of the night. My leg and head broke my fall." She tries to smile and lighten up the mood, but I don't laugh at her attempt at humor. She quickly gets the message and continues. "It was dark and I couldn't see anything. You know me, I trip walking on flat surfaces in the broad daylight." Her answer sounds fake, like it's been rehearsed over and over again.  
I stare at her, warning her that I know she's lying to me and giving her a chance to tell me the truth. She hangs her head in shame, knowing that she's been caught lying. "Baby, you have to tell me what happened. The truth this time."

"I can't, Edward."

I frown. "Why can't you?" A million scenarios pop into my head as to why she can't tell me what really happened. None of them are good enough reasons not to tell me, though.

"Please, Edward. You just have to trust me. I can't tell you."

I give her a you – can – tell – me – anything look.

"Please don't." She begs.

The way she says it makes my heart break in two. It's like her entire life is riding on me trusting her fake story about her leg and head. Not wanting her to be any more broken than she already is, I give in to her.

"Okay, I trust you."

I visibly see her relax.

Moving on to another problem, I ask, "Why are you refusing to eat and take the pain medicine? Once you take them you'll go to sleep and you won't be able to feel a thing anymore. I know you want to stop the pain."

Her stomach chooses this moment to growl.

I chuckle when her face turns red. "I think your stomach is agreeing with me. You should eat."

She looks down, embarrassed. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

I sigh and continue. "Bella baby, you have to eat. You can't get better if you don't. They can't give you any pain medicine if you don't eat, babe. I know you're in a lot of pain right now. Why don't you want it to go away?"

I can see her internal struggle. It's written all over her face.

It's a few minutes before she responds. "If I take the pain medicine, then I get trapped."

"What are you talking about, baby?" Tears begin to form in her eyes. She looks completely terrified. I immediately try to comfort her. I grab her hand and bring it to my lips. I place a kiss on it and try to urge her to talk to me. "Talk to me, Bella. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

She takes a deep breath and speaks again. "I get these nightmares and it's like I can't get out of them on my own. If I take the pain medicine, I know it's only going to get worse. They will trap me in my nightmares and I won't be able to get out at all." She's becoming hysterical and I notice her heart monitor is starting to beat more frantically.

"Baby, I didn't know you had nightmares. I've never noticed when you've slept with me…"

"Because they don't happen when I sleep with you! It's every other time that I feel cornered and trapped. I hate it, Edward. Please don't make me take the medicine."

"Shh, baby, it's going to be alright. Everything is going to be alright." I lean in close to her in an attempt to calm her down. I place a kiss on her forehead and tell her, "Scoot over, baby,"

She looks confused. "What, why?"

"You said you don't have the nightmares when you sleep with me, so I guess that means you're just going to have to sleep with me. This way you can eat and take the medicine and sleep all at once." She looks at me, still clearly worried. "I won't let anything happen to you, Bella. I swear."

It takes her a few minutes to digest my words, but she soon scoots over. I crawl into the tiny hospital bed and put my arm under her head. She turns to the side as best she can with her leg and cuddles up to me. I take my hand and grab hers and bring it up to my mouth to kiss it before placing our intertwined hands back on my chest. She looks so small and vulnerable with her bandage and leg right now and I can't help but want to protect her. I don't know why she won't tell me what happened. I only want what is best for her.

"Are you comfortable?" I feel her nod her head in response. "You look so tired, baby. How much have you been sleeping?"

She sighs. "Not much. I can't seem to stay asleep longer for a couple hours a night for the past couple of months."

 _Damn, that's a lot of restless nights._

"I'm so sorry. I wish you would've told me sooner."

"I didn't want to burden you. It's not really a big deal Edward. It's just sleep."

I snort. "So what are you going to do when school starts next week? What are you going to do when you have tests and shit that you have to concentrate on and you can't because you're too damn tired?" I don't mean to sound so angry, but I hate that she didn't tell me.

She makes herself impossibly smaller against my body. Her movements cause her to shift her leg and she immediately moans in pain.

"Shit Bella. Stop. I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. It's just frustrating."

"I know and I'm so sorry for that Edward, just please don't…"

She doesn't have to finish. I know what she was going to say.

"Shh. It's okay, baby. I'm here. I'll always be here." I squeeze her hand in reassurance. "Are you ready to eat and take your medicine now, Bella?"

She looks up to me slowly. I can see the disbelief and hurt on her face. "You'll stay with me while I sleep, right?"

"Of course I will." She nods her head and I reach for the button that will bring a nurse in here.

It's not even five minutes before the same young nurse from earlier comes in with a plate of food and some pills.

"Make sure you eat all of this before taking the pills. We don't need you throwing up." She glances at me before continuing. "Take all four pills. They will make you sleepy which is a good thing because you need to rest. Dr. Cullen said that your twelve hours of staying awake because of your concussion will be over by the time you eat this. We just called him." She eyes me. "Press the button again if you need anything."

I nod and the nurse goes about her business once more.

I help Bella as she eats, well as much as I can without making her feel like an invalid. She finishes her meal quickly and takes the pills without hesitation. I guess she was in more pain than I originally thought.

We talk mindlessly for about thirty minutes before I see the medicine take effect.

"So when are the doctors going to let you out of here?" I ask her quietly, knowing she'll be asleep in moments.

She sighs. "I don't know. They said that if I showed signs of improvement after the surgery then I'll be out by next week. If my leg doesn't get any better, then I'll be here for at least two weeks." I can barely understand her. It's as if she's drunk

"So, you are going to miss the first week of school regardless." I sigh.

"Yeah." Her voice is barely above a whisper. The drugs are really starting to hit her.

"Go to sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."

She doesn't respond. By the time the words are out of my mouth, she's out like a light.

I keep my promise to her and stay with her until she wakes up. What I didn't plan on was falling asleep right beside her. When I wake up the next morning, the first thing I see is Bella staring at me.

"You stayed."

A smile forms on my face. "I told you I would." Suddenly realizing that I didn't tell my parents when I would be home, I frantically searched for my phone.

"Your dad already knows that you're here."

I snap my head to her. "What? How?"

He came in a couple hours ago. He said he was doing his rounds and wanted to make sure we were okay. He said that when you didn't call last night, they assumed that you were going to stay with me. He was very cool about it."

I let her words sink in. Dad was here. He saw me sleeping in the same bed as Bella. I hope he doesn't try to give me the safe sex talk again when I get home.

"What time is it?" I ask, suddenly worried. If Dad came in a few hours ago, then it's probably later than I thought.

"It's a little after 10. Why?"

"Shit! I missed the first round of workouts this morning. I've got to go! I'll see you when I have some time, okay?"

"Okay." I can hear the disappointment in her voice.

I sigh and kiss her forehead. "I love you."

She nods her head in response.

It breaks my heart when I see her face when I walk out the door. She looks so hurt, but I can tell she's trying not to show it. I don't want to leave her, but coach will have my ass if I don't show up for afternoon workouts.

I have every intention of going back to spend the night with Bella again, but it never happens. When I get home from practice, I head straight to my room to change clothes and shower and go back to the hospital. My mom stops me when I'm coming down the stairs.

"Edward, you can't go back to the hospital today."

"Why not?"

"Because you broke hospital protocol last night when you slept in the room with Bella!"

"Mom, you don't understand. She needed me there and she still does."

She sighs before continuing. "I know you care about her, sweetie, but the doctors, including your father, can't do their job if you are constantly around. I can't have you breaking anymore hospital rules, either. I know you're worried about Bella, but you're just going to have to rely on your father for communication with her, okay?"

"But mom –" I whine.

"Don't 'but mom' me. You scared us half to death last night because you didn't call. Your father had to call the hospital to make sure that you were still there. We didn't have any contact from you, Edward. I'm too old for you to be scaring us like that." She gives me a pointed look before I break out in laughter.

"Mom, you're not old."

She rolls her eyes and tells me that dinner will be ready in five minutes. I was going to use this time to call my dad so he could put me on the phone with Bella, but he walked through the door before I had the chance. I rush over to him and bombard him with questions.

"How is she doing? When is she getting out? Is she eating? Is she sleeping? Is she taking her medicine?"

"Whoa, calm down son. She asked me to give you this. I hope it answers all your questions. I'm going to eat I'm starving." He hands me a sheet of paper and I eagerly take it from him.

 _Edward,_

 _I'm fine. Your dad told me what you did to get in my room last night. Why did you break the hospital protocol for me? You're insane, but I can't thank you enough for it. I can't tell you how much you being there last night meant to me. I promise I'll be a good patient and eat and take my medicine when I'm supposed to. Try not to worry about me too much. I'm not worth it. Focus on school and football tomorrow. I know it's going to suck going back to school on Monday, but it'll be over before you know it. I'm hoping we can talk through your dad until I get out of here. I'll be waiting your response._

 _Yours,_

 _Bella_

So that's how we communicated. Every day for the entire first week of school, I would wait for Dad to come home so I could read my letter from Bella. I loved the fact that I could still talk to her since I have been all but banned from visiting her in the hospital. I also hate it because I can't actually see her, which sucks. I've even considered sneaking out, but reconsidered when I realized that I would probably end up running into Janice again.

The first week of junior year drags on and on without Bella by my side. I made sure that the guidance counselor put Bella and me in almost all of the same classes again. The only difference was I had Team Sports, which is basically football practice during the school day, and she had AP World Literature with Mr. Masen.

She's supposed to get out of the hospital soon, but no one will tell me exactly when. Between classes and football practice, I don't have time to beg my parents to let me go see her.

The end of the first week came in a blur and my weekend consisted of trying to figure out what happened to Bella and why she wouldn't tell me. I spent literally every waking moment thinking about her, but nothing made sense. I still don't understand why she would keep something like this from me. It just doesn't make any sense.

I was waiting on the front porch for Dad to get home from his shift for about ten minutes then he pulls in the driveway. Before I even get a chance to ask about her, Dad puts his hand up and says, "She'll be back at school tomorrow, son. I think she's expecting you to pick her up in the morning. She kind of hinted at it this morning when I checked on her and gave her your note. She's going to be on crutches for the next couple of months, son. She has to be really careful with what she does. "

My eyes go wide at the thought of seeing her tomorrow. A grin forms on my face and doesn't go away until I see her beautiful face the next morning.

 **October 2009**

One late October night after school and football practice, Bella and I are doing homework in my room. We are both currently stretched out across my bed, side by side. I have one hand writing notes from my textbook and the other is around Bella's shoulders, lightly stroking her arm.

Instead of doing homework like I was supposed to be, I was thinking about Bella, like always. Suddenly, a thought crosses my mind.

"Hey Bella?"

"Hmm?" She answers, lazily.

"You know what I've been thinking?"

"You can think? I never knew that." She jokes.

"Alright you little –" My sentence fades away as I crawl on top of her, mindful of her leg. I begin playfully tickling her stomach and I am rewarded with her beautiful giggles. Her giggles turn into moans as my hands drift lower down her stomach to the apex of her legs. I begin to slowly rub circles in a way that I know makes her go crazy. When I see her head fall back in pleasure, I abruptly pull my hand away. Her groan in protest comes immediately after.

"Tease."

I smirk at her, but it fades when I remember my initial intent on asking her a question.

She huffs and asks, "What were you thinking about?"

My frown deepens. "We've known each other for over a year, Bella."

"Yeah, so?"

"There's something that you've never mentioned over the course of this year, babe."

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Everyone has one. It only comes around once a year and on it people usually celebrate…" I trail off, hoping she'll get the hint.

Unfortunately for me, she doesn't. Bella rolls her eyes and says, "Stop speaking in riddles, Edward. Ask me what you want to know."

"When's your birthday?"

She freezes instantly. I guess there's a reason she's never mentioned her birthday before.

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters because I want to know when my girl was born. I want to know when she came into this world. I want to celebrate that day, because it was the best day ever."

Bella rolls away so that she is not facing me. _This is so not the reaction I was hoping for._

"The day of my birth is definitely not the best day ever, not for me, not for my mom, not for anyone." She gets off the bed as best as she can with her cast on. She picks up her crutches and hobbles over to the couch on the other side of my room.

"Bella, you know that's not true." I get up from my spot on the bed and go to where she currently resides on my couch.

"How would you know, Edward? You weren't there…" She trails off.

"No, I wasn't, but you can still tell me."

She huffs angrily and turns so she's not facing me. "There's nothing to tell! Not everyone likes their birthday, Edward! Can we drop it already?"

"Bella, hey. I didn't mean to upset you. I just want to understand. I feel like I hardly know you. I don't even know something as basic as what your birthday is. I just feel like I'm being at bad boyfriend by not knowing it. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Just know that I'm here if you do ever want to talk about it."

She turns back around so she can see me once more. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. You're just trying to be the most amazing boyfriend ever like always." She smiles sadly at me. "I've never once celebrated my birthday, Edward. Trust me when I tell you that it is really not a big deal. I've never had any reason to celebrate it before and I don't really want to start now."

"But I want to celebrate that day. I want to celebrate the day that you were born into the world. It's because of that day that I have you now. I want to celebrate it. Please tell me." I urge.

I can see the hurt in her eyes when she speaks again. Her voice is cold and forceful, unlike I've ever heard it before. "That day is the worst day of my life, Edward. There's absolutely nothing to celebrate, so can you please just drop it?"

I'm taken back at her statement. I drop the subject immediately and head back to my bed. She follows a few minutes later and we silently agree to ignore any thought of birthdays from this point forward.

 **November 2009**

Football season this year is really slow. We've played a few games, but no one has even come close to our skill level. The games drag on and on and all we do is smoke our opponents every time. It's not fun and everyone is waiting for a challenge again. The teams we play are so bad that we let our Junior Varsity team play the second half of the game. So, I end up spending half of the game watching Bella interact with Mr. Masen on the sidelines.

I watch in awe of how they are with each other. Mr. Masen seems to genuinely want what is best for my Bella. Over the first few months of school, I've seen an amazing bond form between them. Mr. Masen treats Bella as if she were his own. I know Bella looks up to him as if he were her real father. I love the fact that he is so good to her.

Bella has even sat in on a couple of our practices with Mr. Masen too. On those days, Mr. Masen always offers to take her home, knowing that I won't be able to get her home before Renee gets off work, especially with her cast weighing her down. That's what happened today. Bella and Mr. Masen sat and talked in the bleachers for an hour before taking her home. She waved goodbye to me when she left, even though she knows I'm in the middle of practice. I wave back and I get scolded at by coach.

Today, just like always, the team teases me about it in the locker room. I merely roll my eyes and go to my car. When I start to unlock the door to my Volvo, I hear footsteps coming from behind me. I turn around and I'm completely surprised by who I see. "What the fuck do you want, Jacob?" The venom in my voice is almost palpable. I can't stand him anymore. Ever since he started to screw Tanya behind everyone's backs, he hasn't been the same old Jacob. The Jacob I knew wouldn't have done that shit to me or to Bella.

"What? Can't I visit an old friend?"

I scoff. "Old friend? Is that what we're calling backstabbing assholes now?"

"Backstabbing asshole? Wow, Cullen. I forgot how dramatic you are."

I roll my eyes and turn to get in my car.

"Wait, I thought you should know something." He pauses. "It's about Bella."

I turn around immediately. "What about Bella?"

"I just thought I'd let you know that she's not the girl that you think she is. She's a liar and she's pathetic. She's not worth your time, bro."

Anger consumes me. I go over to where Jacob is standing and grab his shirt. I pick him up by his shirt and shove him against the car next to mine. "Don't you dare talk about her like that! She is not –"

He cuts me off before I can finish. "Oh look at that. Edward is protecting his little slut. Do you even know what goes on when you're not around? Do you even know what goes on inside her house at night?"

When he sees my reaction to his questions, a smirk crosses his face. "Didn't think so. I bet she doesn't tell you about all the naughty things that happens in there at night. I bet you don't even know what happened before you met her. You don't know shit, but I know it all."

All I see is red. In my outrage, I shove Jake against the car as hard as I can. I smile at myself when I see him topple over in pain. It serves him right. "Screw you, Black. Stay out of my life and stay the fuck away from Bella," I spit out.

"Why don't you ask her then? I bet you she won't tell you shit. She doesn't trust you." He barely gets the entire statement out before I kick him in his side. He's now on the parking lot coughing up blood and holding his stomach with his arm. "Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough. I'll be here when you realize I'm right."

"Fuck you, Jacob. You don't know shit." With that, I get in my car and head home. I try to figure out what he meant about the 'naughty things that go on in Bella's house,' but it only makes me angrier. Thoughts of rape and abuse fill my head. She would've told me by now if it was that bad at her house, wouldn't she? I shake my head to get rid of those thoughts.

Completely determined to get to the bottom of what is going on in Bella's house, I rush home. I know I can't go to Bella's house right now because of Phil and Renee, but I can go home and pray the night goes by fast. Tomorrow morning, she is going to tell me everything.

 **A/N: So what did ya'll think? Note that when Bella breaks her leg, it is August 30 and she is in the hospital by September 1. What do you think about Edward's and Jacob's conversation? Sorry for flying through time in this chapter, but time will be slower for the rest of the story. See ya'll next week!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. TISSUE WARNING. See you at the bottom! Edward is not an idiot in this story. He is very naïve. He didn't want to believe what he heard his dad saying. He believes that Bella would tell him if things were that bad at home. He believes that she trusts him enough to tell him if things were that bad.**

 **"** **I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry." – Sia**

Chapter 25

BPOV

November 2009

I know what I have to do. He's becoming too suspicious. I'm becoming too distant. I saw the hurt in his eyes when I wouldn't tell him what happened at the hospital. He tried to hide it, but I saw right through his façade. I broke his heart when I refused to tell him. I don't think I could bear it if I saw that look on his face again.

Currently, I am pacing back and forth – well, as good as I can pace on my crutches – in my bedroom, waiting for Phil and Renee to leave for work. I'm trying to build up the courage to tell Edward everything, but I don't want to think of his reaction to hearing it.

"I have to tell him. I have to tell him." I whisper my mantra to myself. "I have to. It doesn't matter the consequences. He deserves to know."

Suddenly, I hear something slam shut. I spin around a little too quickly and almost lose my balance in my crutches. One of them falls to the floor, but I am able to keep ahold of the other. As gracefully as I can, I bend down to pick the crutch up on my good leg. I turn to where I think was the source of the noise. It's my neighbor's house. I've lived in this house for almost twelve years and I have no idea who lives in the house next to mine. I have no idea who would slam the window across from mine shut either.

Slightly freaked out by the entire situation, I grab my things for school and hurry down to the front porch. Thankfully, Phil and Renee are gone to work now so I won't have to deal with them until later tonight.

When I get to the porch, I continue my pacing. I have to find the best way to approach the subject. I can't just walk up to Edward and say 'Hey, I've been abused for my entire life. Sorry for not telling you sooner.' That would probably raise some questions. How am I supposed to tell him this? I know I have to do it, but where am I supposed to start?

I hear someone come up from behind me, but by the time I try to turn around with my crutches, the person wraps their arms around me. The stranger puts one arm around my waist to keep me still and the other on my mouth to keep me quiet. I facing the door to my house and he's got me completely trapped in his embrace from behind.

"It's been too long, bitch." His voice is right in my ear. This is someone different. This isn't the same guy that's been stalking and threatening me out on the football field. This guy is someone new.

"You didn't think I forgot about our sweet times together, did you?" He's talking right inside my ear now. His hot breath that blows in my ear makes me very uncomfortable. "I have a message for you, girl. Tell your little boyfriend, Edward, the truth about your leg, and Phil pushing you down the stairs will be the least of your problems."

I freeze. _How the hell did he know about that?_

As if he read my mind, he leans down to whisper in my ear, "I know everything, slut. The only way for me not to tell everyone I know this information, is for you to keep your mouth shut." He looks around and lets go of me. When I turn around to try and see who the stranger is, I feel my crutches come out from under me. My legs buckle under the sudden weight and I instantly fall to the ground.

Thankfully, I don't bang my bad leg very hard on the way down. My arms take most of the brunt of the fall. I try to roll over to see if my stalker is still near me, but I can't seem to find him anywhere. Just like all the other encounters I've had with the other stalker, he is gone before I have a chance to regain my composure and look for him.

Ten minutes pass and I'm still on the ground, struggling to get up and back on my feet, when I hear a car pull up. I turn towards the sound of crunching gravel and find Edward rushing out to find me. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees me. I have some idea of what I must look like – on the soaking wet ground in pain, white as a ghost, frightened, on the verge of tears, and soaking wet.

"Bella? Oh my God, what happened? Are you alright?" He rushes over to me. He helps me get up off of the ground and sets me on my feet. He picks up my crutches and helps me retain my balance on them once more. His hands reach up to cup my face and he takes in my disheveled appearance.

I shake my head no. I'm not alright. I've just been threatened by some other stranger who is stalking me and I can't tell the one person I trust about it because I don't want to put him in harm's way. I don't think I could live with myself if Phil ever got his hands on him.

"It's okay. Nothing happened. I just fell on my way out here." I lie as best as I can, but it doesn't work.

"Why are you lying to me about this, Bella? Why do you lie to me at all?" He sounds irritated. His hands drop from my face to his sides.

 _I was going to tell you everything, Edward, but I can't now. I can't do it and I'm so sorry._

Those words are on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them back. I look away from him, I don't want to see his expression.

"Bella, is there something you want to tell me?"

I shake my head no, but heart is screaming at me to say yes.

"Are you sure? Bella, please, baby, you know you can tell me anything. I'm here for you. I'm always going to be here for you, babe."

I don't respond. I don't move. I can't even look at him. I'm too scared. He can't find out the truth. He won't look at me the same anymore, but what is worse is what would happen if Phil ever found out that Edward was suspicious of something. I shudder at the thought of Phil ever coming around Edward.

"Bella, please." Once again, I don't respond. I don't know how. I can't tell him anything anymore.

Edward takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Bella you have to tell me what is going on in your house. You need to tell me so I can help. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"I know, but I can't." I hear him sigh. "Believe me, you have no idea how badly I want to tell you, how badly I need to tell you…"

I see his calm façade snap. His entire demeanor goes from understanding and helpful to angry in an instant.

"So why don't you fucking tell me?" _Oh shit, he's pissed. I've never seen him this angry or this loud before._ "I tell you every little fucking insignificant thing that goes on in my life, so why don't you tell me anything about yours?"

"Edward, I –" My voice is small now. I don't know what to say to him. He's right and he knows it.

"You what, Bella? You can't tell me? Tell me what? You've never told me anything about yourself! I tell you everything!"

"Edward stop, please." My voice is small and timid and it's no surprise to me when he keeps raging on.

"You know what, Bella? For once in your life would you be honest with me? Everything you have ever told me was a lie! Why can't you tell me the truth for once, Bella? Just one time, that's all I ask."

"You don't understand!"

"You know why I don't understand, Bella?" His voice is eerily calm, just like Phil's is when he's completely livid. "I don't understand anything! I don't understand you! I don't understand why you won't tell me a damn thing about you! You won't tell me where the mysteriously bruises you get come from. You won't tell me what the hell goes on behind the locked doors of your house. You won't even tell me when your fucking birthday is, Bella! How the hell am I supposed to love you if you never talk to me?"

I can feel everything inside me freeze. "Do you? Do you love me, Edward?" My voice is so low I don't even know if he heard me.

Edward's eyes snap up to meet mine. "Bella, that's not what I – that didn't come out right. I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean? Because it sounded like you said that you didn't love me."

"Bella I didn't say that!"

"No, but that's what you meant."

"Bella, no. I didn't mean that. I –"

"Then what did you mean?" I practically spat out at him.

He takes a deep breath and continues, "What good is it if I'm the only person you speak to if you never tell me anything that is going on with you?"

My heart breaks at his words. "What are you trying to say, Edward? I thought you loved that I spoke to you! Now you think it's no good that I'm talking to you?"

"Maybe if you would tell me something every once in a while about yourself then I wouldn't feel this way!"

I don't know what to say to that. He's right. It's all my fault. He just doesn't understand. I can't tell him anything. If I tell him, Phil would come after him, my stalker could possibly go after him, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Edward got hurt because of me.

"You're seriously not going to tell me anything?"

I don't respond. I can't risk it. He'll just have to hate me for it.

He scoffs. "Jacob was right." He storms off to his car. I follow him as fast as I can with my crutches. He doesn't say anything when I get in and neither does he.

The entire day goes by and I don't speak to Edward once. He doesn't try to talk to me either. He's still fuming and he's not hiding it very well.

 _Maybe not talking to Edward is for the best. Maybe if he hates me, he'll stop looking into what's going on in my house. Maybe it'll be easier if he hates me. He has every right to. I guess everything happens for a reason._

 ****TCWT****

In the last week of November, I go to the hospital to get my cast taken off. Edward doesn't offer to pick me up and take me. He's still too angry. Charlie offers to take me instead.

The one thing good that has come out of this school year, is Charlie. I have him in class again and I love every minute I'm with him. I never expected to be so close to someone so fast, but Charlie makes it so easy. It took me months to welcome Edward into my life. It hardly took Charlie a couple of weeks. The best part of being close to Charlie is the fact that he knows about me and what goes on at home and he doesn't look at me any differently.

I wish I could say the same for Edward, but he just wouldn't understand. I hate the fact that I am slowly tearing us apart because of my secret, but I don't know how else to stop it. I can't tell him. I won't put him at risk.

Which brings me to the fact that I spend as much time with Charlie as I can. I don't tell him or confirm his theories about Phil and Renee, but I enjoy the comfort he provides me because he knows. It's different from the comfort Edward provides me. Charlie is what I think of when I think about what a family should be like. Our relationship is past student – teacher. It's more of a father – daughter bond.

If I were able to go back in time and pick a father, I would pick Charlie.

 **December 2009**

Weeks go by and I can feel my relationship with Edward begin to crumble. I rarely _speak_ to him anymore. Ever since the fight we had about me never telling him anything… things just haven't been the same. It just doesn't feel right talking to him anymore. Things have changed between us and I don't know if things will ever be like they were before. That kills me. The comfort that I've always felt when I'm in his presence is now replaced by awkwardness.

I never thought Edward and I would have these problems. He's the perfect gentleman. He's the guy that every girl dreams about having. He's my knight in shining armor and I'm pushing him away.

I'm the problem, I know I am. I know I have to be the one to fix our relationship, but I don't know how. I can't tell him. He just wouldn't understand why I didn't tell him before. He doesn't know what kind of person Phil is. He doesn't know what Phil is capable of. He won't understand. No one does. I can't risk him finding out.

Our relationship is tense, to say the least, and it's all because of me. You're not supposed to have to try hard when you're with the one person who means everything to you, but that's exactly what mine and Edward's relationship has become. I hate it. I hate feeling this way. I hate the fact that I am the only one who can stop this from happening, but I can't because I'm too scared of the outcome.

When Edward pulls into my driveway Friday morning, I see his smile. This is the first time in weeks that I've seen him genuinely smile and I immediately want to know the source of it.

"Why are you so happy this morning?" I whisper. My voice is hoarse from not talking for so long. I never realized it would be this easy to fall back into my silent routine.

Edward's smile doesn't faze. Instead, he walks over to me, grabs my hand, and pulls me to his car. "Emmett and Rosalie are back in town for Christmas vacation." My face lights up. "And Em is throwing a party tonight and wants to make sure we go…" He says hesitantly. We haven't really hung out outside of school in a while. I can feel the awkwardness in his car and I know he feels it too.

Wanting nothing more than to try and save our relationship, I nod my head in acceptance.

"Okay, great. I'll pick you up after I get out of football practice, okay?"

I nod.

The school day goes by quickly. I find myself turning in my assignment for Charlie's class and heading to my locker before I know it. Edward must have come up behind me at some point because the next thing I hear is him whisper - yelling.

"What the hell are those, Bella?"

I freeze. What is he looking at? I slowly turn around to face him. He's livid, it's written all over his face. He must have gotten angrier at my lack of response because he grabs my hips and lightly presses me against the lockers. He slips his hand under my shirt and lifts the material as he goes. He points at the finger shaped bruise right above my hip.

"Where the hell did this come from?"

I tense and he notices. I can't tell him about it. I can't tell him that Phil tortured me again last night by squeezing me so hard until I couldn't breathe. I can't tell him. He wouldn't believe me.

When Edward realizes that I'm not going to respond, he sighs angrily and pushes himself away from the lockers, away from me.

"You know what? I'll just get Rose or someone to pick you up for the party tonight around 7. I've got to get to practice." And with that, he walks away from me. He leaves me to take the bus home for the first time in over a year, and I can't help but feel a little betrayed by his actions.

I sigh in defeat and rush to catch the bus before it leaves. When I get home, I walk to my room and sit on my bed just thinking about what I could say to him. I have to tell him something to placate him. He's not going to stop asking for answers and I can't give them to him. I'm too scared.

I'm terrified about what Phil would do if I ever told someone about him. I'm terrified for Edward. If he keeps snooping and Phil finds out, I can't imagine what he would do to him. I don't want to imagine what he'd do to him.

True to his word, Rose rings the doorbell at precisely seven o'clock. When I open the door, she embraces me.

"It's so good to see you again, Bella! I can't tell you how much I've missed you. Oh, and Emmett too. Come on! Let's go to the party."

I make a face. I really don't think I should go to the party. Edward is angry at me and I know I can't spend the entire party with Emmett and Rose.

"Oh come on, Bella! I haven't seen you in months and neither has Emmett! Don't deny us your presence. We're only in town for a few weeks anyway." She gives me a puppy dog face and I feel my resolve weaken.

I sigh. Deciding that I should probably face Edward sooner rather than later, I take Rose up on her offer and get in her car to drive off to the party.

When Rose and I get to Em's house, the party is in full swing. People are everywhere. Despite the pouring down rain, people are still outside drinking and talking. Beer and bottles of vodka surround the yard. Rose and I carefully make our way to the front door of the house and walk in.

My first instinct is to find Edward. I need to apologize for everything that happened earlier. He doesn't deserve to be left in the dark. I know that, but he just doesn't understand what would happen if I told him the truth. No one understands and it kills me.

I tug on Rose's shoulder and mouth, _I'm going to find Edward. I need to talk to him, apologize._

She nods. "Okay, I need to find Emmett anyway. We'll all catch up later, okay?" I nod and we both take off in our own directions. The first place I check is Emmett's room, but it's empty. I go back downstairs and I find a crowd of people surrounding the couch in the middle of the room. Curious, I go see what everyone is so interested in.

I stop dead in my tracks when I see the pair on the couch. I see a pair of long legs matched with long blonde hair and a fake tan grinding on top of a pair of muscular legs and bronze hair.

 _It can't be him. It can't be him. He wouldn't do this to me. He cares about me. He's told me he loves me._

After a few more minutes the pair basically dry–humping on the couch pull apart. Tanya gets off of Edward and sees me standing there, gaping.

She smirks and gets off his lap. "He's mine now, bitch." She walks over to me and whispers in my ear, "He was always mine. He just wanted to toy with you. He made you fall for him, give your virginity up to him, and open up to him just so he could shatter your little heart. Everything he said to you was a lie, sweetie. He's been with me since he first walked into Forks High. You were only a game to him." She walks away, into the crowd of people, with a sick smile on her face.

I recoil as if she'd slapped me. It probably would've hurt less if she did. I look to Edward, praying that this is all some misunderstanding. I hope that he'll tell me that I didn't just see him and Tanya making out in front of everyone. I know we had a fight earlier, but he wouldn't do this to me.

Edward finally meets my gaze, but doesn't say anything. He just glares at me with an empty expression on his face. I can see his eyes are glazed over, as if he'd been drinking. I shift my attention to the person sitting next to him: Jacob. _I thought those two had a falling out of some kind?_ Edward hasn't mentioned anything about hanging out with Jacob in months, so why are they sitting together right now?

Completely devastated by the one guy who I thought would never hurt me, I lash out. I glare at him and keep eye contact as I spit my words out. "If this is how you treat the people that you love, then I am so fucking happy no one gives a damn about me." The entire room goes quiet and I soon realize my mistake. I just spoke. Out loud. No one in this room, save Edward, has ever heard me speak before and I just shocked the hell out of everyone, including myself. I didn't even know I had it in me.

My words have no effect on Edward. He keeps staring at me, in his clearly drunken state. Jacob on the other hand, has this shit eating grin on his face. He looks like he just won the damn lottery because of what Edward just did to me and my reaction to it.

Completely torn that he could do this to me, I rush out the door. I hear laughter behind me as I exit the house. I accidentally run into Rose and Em when I get outside. Noticing my distressed state, Emmett being Emmett, tries to help me.

"Bella? What's wrong? What happened? Where's Edward?"

I stop running and look up at him. I stare at him in the eyes for a long time trying to convey everything I'm feeling right now.

He gets the message and steps forward, reaching out to me. Knowing this is the last time I will probably ever see these two amazing people, I speak to them. "Thanks for being there when no one else was, Em, but it's just not enough anymore."

He looks upset for a split second before it becomes confusion. "What are you talking about? Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?" I can see the hurt form on his face when I back away from him.

"Because it is." Despite the ever present stinging sensation that I have in my right leg from breaking it, I turn around and run away from them as fast as I can. I can hear their shouts of protest getting softer and softer as I leave them further behind.

The rain still hasn't let up from earlier, so it's no surprise when I slip on the road about twenty minutes after I left Emmett's house. I land on my knees, but get right back up. I start running again. I can feel blood trickling down my legs, but I can't feel the pain. I'm numb. I've blocked everything out. All the emotions, all the heartache, all my physical pain from leg, it's gone. I can't feel anything. It's completely blocked out. I can't feel the wind and water slicing at my skin as I walk the ten mile hike back home.

When I finally get to my house, I walk straight to my room. I don't check to see if Phil or Renee are still up. I don't take off my soaking wet clothes as I crawl into bed. I don't do anything.

I lay in bed for hours doing the thing I swore I would never do, I cried. I cried harder than I thought was possible. I cried for Edward, for what I thought we had. I cried for my friends Emmett, Rosalie, and Seth **.** I know none of them are going to ever speak to me again now that Edward is done with me. I cried for the family that I thought I had with Carlisle and Esme. They are not going to want to have anything to do with me now that Edward is through playing his games with me. I cried because everything I thought I had is now being ripped away from me. I don't have anything or anyone anymore. I cried because I finally did the one thing that I swore I wouldn't: I gave someone my heart. Now it's shattered into a million different pieces.

Sobs continue to take control over my body as I fall into a dreamless, sleepless sleep.

 **A/N: And here it is, the big heart breaker. I'm going to go hide under a rock until next week. Did you guys expect that? What do ya'll think is going on in Edward's mind? Next up: Edward's point of view of the party.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I am so blown away by all of ya'lls reaction to that last chapter! Some of them mad me tear up a bit and others made me laugh. If I knew how to respond to reviews on Fanfiction, I would totally do so, but sadly I don't know how. This is a really short chapter, so if I can get up to 175 reviews on this chapter, I will post the next chapter early! Hope you guys don't want to kill me when you get through reading this one! See you at the bottom.**

 **"** **There is no pain you are receding… The child is grown. The pain is gone. I have become comfortably numb." – Pink Floyd**

Chapter 26

EPOV

December 2009

Things have been tense between Bella and me to say the least. She's lying to me and I know it. I hate that she does it. I tell her everything about me and she won't share with me some of the most important parts of her life. She won't even tell me some of the most insignificant parts of her life! It's so fucking frustrating. I don't think she understands how much she means to me and because she is constantly lying to me, I feel like she doesn't feel the same way about me.

I would do literally anything for this girl and I can't say that she would do the same for me. That's not how a relationship is supposed to work. Both of us should be putting in effort to make us work, but that's not happening. I feel like I'm putting in all of the work and I'm not getting anything but lies and secrets in return. I honestly don't know if I can go through this any longer.

When I saw the bruises on her stomach earlier, I couldn't even talk I was so angry. She never tells me anything and it kills me inside. Why should I care so much for someone who clearly doesn't want to be cared for? I mean, if she really wanted help, then she would've take me up on my one of my many offers, right? Sometimes I feel like it's not worth my time to offer her my help. I think that I'm just wasting my breath.

I try to take all my anger and frustration out during football practice, but it doesn't work. By the time I'm in the locker changing to go to Emmett's party, I'm still in a foul mood. Maybe if I can get my mind off of it, my bad mood will go away.

I head over to Em's house. When I get there, I walk through the front door and start to look for the beer.

"Edward, my favorite little quarterback, how have you been, man?" I turn to the source of the noise. It's Emmett. I can't help the grin that comes on my face. I've really missed this guy. Maybe he can get my mind off of Bella for a little while.

"Emmett! I'm fine. How have you been? How are you liking college football?"

"It's great, man. I love it. I still can't believe that I'm able to do it. It's all still so surreal to me sometimes."

I smile, genuinely smile. "I'm happy for you, Em. If anyone deserves it, it's you."

Emmett just smiles back. "So where's Bella? I thought you said she was going to come?"

And just like that, my good mood vanished. So much for not wanting to think about Bella. "I called Rosalie earlier and asked her to pick Bella up."

"Why?" The shock is clearly written all over his face. "Last time I saw you guys, you two were inseparable."

I snort.

"Trouble in paradise, Ed?"

I snort again. "Yeah, something like that."

"You want to talk about it?"

I sigh. "No, not really."

"It's okay, man. Everybody goes through these bumps in their relationship. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

I take a deep breath. I don't want to bombard Emmett with all of my relationship problems, but I need to talk it out with someone. "It's more than just a few bumps, Em. It's like a fucking never ending pothole that's happening."

Emmett furrows his eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"She doesn't tell me anything! She's constantly lying to me about the stupidest fucking stuff and it's really starting to bug me. I would do anything for her and yet all she does is hide stuff from me. I don't know how to handle it and she won't fucking talk to me about anything! I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if I can do this with her anymore…" I trail off, not knowing how else to put my feelings in words.

"What's she lying about?" He asks tentatively.

"Stupid stuff like how she got bruises all over her body and why she gets all tense whenever I mentioned her foster dad, Phil. I can't talk to her about life at home. She freezes up whenever I mention anything about talking to her foster family about anything. She won't even tell me her birthday for fucks sake! It's fucking exasperating, Em!" I can feel my anger building inside of me. I didn't even realize how worked up about this I really was.

"Edward." He sighs. "Look man, there's shit that goes on in Bella's life that is better if you don't know about. There's certain things about her that's better off left in the dark. If she wants to tell you about it, then she will on her own time. Don't try to push her into something she's not ready for. The amount of shit she's been through… most people don't even go through that kind of stuff in their entire lives… I would know too."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Emmett? Stop speaking in fucking riddles and just say what you're going to say! Bella is my girlfriend! I'm supposed to know every little insignificant detail about her life! Who cares about the shit she's been through? I've been through more shit than you have!"

Emmett visibly forces himself to stay calm at my comment. _Looks like I've hit a nerve._ "Edward, bro, stop. You need to calm down. You have no idea what you are talking about and if you did, you would know how much what you just said is completely wrong. You don't know anything, about me or Bella, so stop acting like you do. You're going to start asking questions that you really don't want to find the answers to."

"Here we go again with the fucking riddles! If you're going to talk to me, then be direct with me. I'm sick and tired of all the secrets and lies in my life. I just want everything to be out in the open!"

Emmett takes another deep breath to keep his composure. If I didn't know any better, I would be slightly intimidated by the giant man in front of me who is visibly shaking in anger right now. "Look, I'm not saying that she should keep everything from you, but I do think she does need to keep some stuff private. Trust me, you don't want to know everything about her. She's keeping you in the dark for your own good, man. Some shit she goes through, it's fucking messed up. You are better off not knowing."

"You say that like you know something that I don't," I say with conviction.

The look on Emmett's face gives me all the answers I need to know. He fucking knows something about Bella that I don't. I don't know what infuriates me more: the fact that Bella told him something so personal and deep and not me or the fact that Emmett had the balls to keep it from me when he knows how much I care about her.

"What the hell are you talking about, Emmett? What the hell do you know that I don't?" When he doesn't respond again, I get even angrier. "You have to tell me! What is it?"

"Edward look, I know you just want to help, but you have to understand that some things are just better left unsaid."

"Fuck, Emmett! Just tell me! I have a right to know!" With every word, I can feel my anger building and building, just waiting for the right moment to explode.

He shakes his head at me. "Edward, just stop. She'll tell you when she's ready."

Pissed beyond belief that he's keeping something about my girlfriend from me, I try to punch Emmett in the face. I get about two inches away from his nose when a hand stops mine. Fired up and ready to try and strike again, I turn to the person who interrupted my fist connecting with Emmett's face. It's Jacob. I stare at him unbelievingly. Why would he, of all people, stop me?

"Come on, Edward. I've got a better idea for you to do rather than beating the shit out of that dick."

I grunt and follow Jacob as he takes us over to the couch in the middle of the room. He hands me a bottle of vodka and pats the seat next to him. "I think you deserve the bottle, man."

I snort and nod my head in agreement. I take the bottle from him and immediately start to pour the clear liquid down my throat. I welcome the burn that it leaves on its way down.

"So, I'm guessing you figured out some stuff with Bella?"

"I didn't figure out shit. She doesn't tell me anything. You were fucking right, Jake. She doesn't trust me."

He snickers. "I'm always right. She's no good for you. She's just a piece of ass and you've had your fill of her."

I don't respond. I down the rest of the bottle of vodka and toss it to the side. When I turn to look at Jake, I see him holding another cup of beer out to me. I mumble my thanks and sit back and listen to him talk.

"She's not worth your time, Edward. She's worthless, always has been. I know you were only with her out of pity. You felt bad for the Freak and decided to take her out to play. Well, now it's time for you to come back to your real friends. She's nothing but a fucking lying slut. You deserve better. She's doesn't tell you anything because she doesn't care about you. She's using you just like you're using her. You get a fuck toy and she gets to milk off your popularity. She's been using you for over a year. Can't you see it? If I were you, I'd want revenge. She's been using you and you fell for her."

Despite being drunk out of my mind, I understand Jacob's words clearly. I don't know what to say or how to respond to him, so I just sit back and continue to nurse my beer. When I finish my cup, I turn to place it on the side table, only to find Jacob holing out another cup of beer in his hand when I turn back to him. I take the cup and immediately take a sip from it. This one tastes a little off, but I ignore it and continue to drink.

"She's not worth all the drama man. I bet she's not even a good lay. Wouldn't you rather be with a nice blonde with big tits and a nice round ass? There's no shortage of them anywhere. I can hook you up easy, just say the word."

I don't say anything. Part of me thinks Jacob is right. Bella's not worth all of the drama that I have to put up with, but the other part of me disagrees. I love Bella or at least I think I do. But how am I supposed to love someone when everything that comes out of their mouth is a lie? Why should I be the one that she lies to? I deserve better than her. I deserve for someone to be upfront and honest with me.

 _She's not worth all of the lies._

Why would she be with me just to shut me out? Why wouldn't she want to tell me about everything that goes on in her life? Maybe Jacob is right. Maybe Bella was only with me for my popularity in the first place. That in mind, I down the rest of my beer and take another one. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to think about anything anymore. I don't want to feel used right now, especially since I fell in love with the girl who used me in the first place.

 _You're better than her._

 _She doesn't deserve your love anyway._

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I register that Bella should probably be here by now and that I should start looking for her, talk to her, but instead I sit on this couch and let people surround me. It feels good.

 _She doesn't care about you._

 _If I truly meant something to her, why wouldn't she tell me anything? Why keep all of the lies? Why all the secrets?_

"If you want my opinion man," Jacob starts again, but I can barely hear him. Something doesn't feel right. My head is spinning and my vision is going blurry. I try to focus on the fireplace in front of me, but I can't do it. Everything is blending together and if someone asked me to, I wouldn't be able to tell you the difference between a dog and a whale. I try to get my bearings back for a few more minutes, but it still doesn't work. I try to focus on something and it's only then that I realize that Jacob is still talking to me. "Bella is nothing but a lying, cheating whore. She doesn't deserve you man. She's done nothing but use you during the duration of your relationship with her."

I stop him right there. "What do you mean?"

"I mean what have you gained through your relationship with her? Trust issues and a couple of fucks in between football games?" He scoffs. "That doesn't exactly sound like a relationship to me. Bella is the only one who is getting anything from you guys being together. She gets your popularity and the entire school is off her back. She gets access to your family and your friends. She gets everything she could have ever dreamed for and you get stuck with problems, drama, and secrets. It doesn't sound very fair if you ask me."

"She's been using me?" I ask in a haze. Something doesn't feel right in my mind. Despite my newfound apprehensiveness, I come to the conclusion that although it doesn't sound like Bella, what Jacob is saying would make a lot of sense.

"Yeah, man. That was her intent all along. She used you man."

I let the thought sit with me for a few minutes.

 _Bella has been using me this entire time._

I down my beer and Jacob promptly hands me another one. My body feels numb. Despite my anger about my newfound information about Bella, I have this nonchalance feeling overtaking me. It feels… nice. For the first time in forever, I don't have to worry about Bella or what's going on with her. I can just worry about me and relax. I can think about me for once.

Jake leans over to me and gives me another cup of beer. He's been steadily keeping my drink filled ever since we got over here. If I wasn't so drunk, I would think something is up with him, but the liquor helps me relax so I don't question it.

A few more drinks later, Tanya comes over to us and squeezes herself in between Jake and me. "Hi boys," she says in I think is supposed to be a sexy voice. She turns to me and asks, "Where's Bella?"

I snort in response. I'm too drunk to care about Bella right now. "Don't know. Don't care."

She smiles at me. "Sounds like someone could use a little distraction. What do you think, Edward?" She places her hands on my chest and starts toying with the buttons on my shirt.

I look over to Jacob when I hear his voice, "You could get back at her, you know, for using you for a year. It's a year you're never going to get back too. She deserves it, man. All the pain and anger that I know you're feeling right now, make her feel it too. She deserves to be in pain. Do it. Let yourself be happy and carefree for once."

I don't have a chance to respond before Tanya crashes her lips to mine. At first I don't do anything. This isn't me, I'm not a cheater. I would never do this type of thing to Bella, no matter how pissed off I am at her.

 _Just like she would never use me? Just like she would never lie to me?_ A voice in the back of my head says.

I think about it for a second, but I don't know if it's the alcohol or my mind who makes me respond to Tanya first.

 _I deserve this._

I need a distraction from all the lies and heartache and I don't care who it is from. Lips are lips and hands are hands. I don't even hesitate when I pull Tanya into my lap and let her grind her body into mine. She moans in response and it spurs me on. I move my hands to grab her ass and pull her body close to me. Her body against mine feels amazing, especially since Bella and I haven't been intimate in a while.

I hear Tanya moan and feel her start to grind her body more forcefully against mine. The motion goes straight to my dick. I'm about to pick her and take her to the bathroom so I can fuck her, but a gasp interrupts my plans. Tanya promptly gets off of me and turns her attention to our intruder.

It's Bella.

I thought I would feel bad about cheating on her like this, but I don't. I don't feel anything. It's exactly what I had set out to do. I don't feel the pain that she's clearly going through right now as Tanya goes up to her and whispers in her ear. I don't feel any remorse as I see her eyes fill with tears from whatever Tanya said to her. I don't feel anything of importance. I feel numb.

I do, however, get surprised, along with everyone else in the room, when Bella speaks to us. She looks directly in my eyes as she says, "If this is how you treat the people that you love, then I am so fucking happy no one gives a damn about me."

I want to scoff at her. 'No one gives a damn about her?' I give a damn about her! I fucking love her, not that she ever cared about me. She's the one who makes people feel like no one gives a damn about them. Her words literally shatter my heart into pieces, but I can't let it show.

As soon as Bella runs out of the house, the entire party erupts in laughter. Jake looks at me with a sick grin on his face. "Looks like the Freak just knocked herself down all the way to the bottom of the high school food chain. That bitch deserves it." Along with the rest of the crowd, Jake starts laughing too. In an effort to mask the pain I'm really feeling, I laugh along with everyone.

Bella is the talk of the party for the rest of the night and I know it's only going to get worse as time goes on. I tune everything out and just enjoy my nonstop flow of drinks, courtesy of Jacob.

The rest of the party is a blur. Tanya never came back to Jacob and me. There was a never ending flow of girls on my lap the entire night, another one of Jacob's courtesies. The last thing I remember is Jacob and I drinking and drinking until we pass out on the couch sometime around three o'clock the next morning.

I drive home the next morning without saying a word to anyone. I ignore my parents when they ask me about how my night went. I walk straight to my room, strip off my clothes, and flop on my bed.

I'm still so… numb. Everything inside me is completely numb. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel after last night. I cheated on Bella with Tanya and she saw me do it, effectively ending my relationship with her. I thought I was angry because of her constant lies and secrets that she hides from me, but I'm not. I'm… hurt. She broke my heart and she doesn't fucking realize it. That's why I listened to Jacob last night. That's why I made out with Tanya last night. That's why I didn't chase her outside the house last night. She broke my heart, so I want to break hers.

Now I'm… numb.

 **A/N: So now we have Edward's side of things. Does anyone hate him right now? Anyone hate Jacob? Anyone frustrated with Bella? I hope you all now understand a little more about why Edward did what he did. I hope you understand his side of things and what he's going through with his relationship with Bella. Edward is heartbroken at Bella's words, he is also numb from the alcohol. He knows that his heart is breaking, but he doesn't actually feel it because he's so far gone. Leave me what you think in a review! See you next week (if not sooner)!**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I know that we didn't quite get to 175 in reviews, but I thought ya'll deserved this one a little early. It's a little short, but still good! See you at the bottom.**

 **"** **Last Christmas I gave you my heart. Then the very next day, you gave it away…" – Wham**

Chapter 27

BPOV

December 2009

For the first time in over a year, I have to ride the bus to school and back home every day. I guess I never really appreciated the little things that Edward did for me. I guess I never really appreciated him at all.

It's been a week since he made his feelings about me clear. It's been seven agonizing days since Edward shattered my heart into a million little pieces. I've seen him in the hallways, but he ignores me. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't even look at me anymore, but I guess I deserve this. It's my fault that we're over. I was the one who kept pushing him away. If anyone deserves to be miserable, it's me.

When we arrive at school, I quickly get off the bus and head straight for my first class. I keep my head down low and ignore all the cruel comments aimed at me.

"Why do you have to be such a freak?"

"Why can't you do us all a favor and go die in a hole?"

"Don't even think about coming close to us, Freak. We don't want to catch your freak disease!"

"I didn't know you could speak, Freak, but I guess we all had to hear your creepy voice at some point!"

"Who would ever care about you? You're so… ew."

"Why would anyone ever want to be with you? I can't even stand to be near you."

"I don't understand what Edward Cullen saw in her. I mean, I know he only used her as a fuck toy, but seriously? I don't think my stomach could handle getting so close to it before vomiting ensued."

"You thought Edward Cullen loved you? Hah! What a joke! No one could ever love you! I mean have you met you? Have you looked in a mirror lately? What's there to love?"

I feel the tears prick the backs of my eyes. People really don't understand how much words really do hurt, even though I know everything they say about me is true. There's nothing about me that's lovable.

I'm almost to my class when I accidentally trip over something. I hit the ground hard. I moan in pain when my right leg hits the ground. Ever since my cast came off, my leg has been through hell. It hurts so bad some days that I think I've re-broken it somehow.

I try to get back up and continue on my way to class but, I feel a foot on my back, pressing me further onto the floor.

"What's wrong Freak? Can't get up? Oh, let me help you with that." Tanya reaches down to grab me by my hair and yanks me back up. I stumble forward and grab onto something to regain my balance. I feel a hand sturdy me, but then jerk away like I've just burned them. I move my head in the direction of the hand. I come face to face with the boy who obliterated my heart just a week prior.

When our eyes meet, I feel my eyes prick with tears. His eyes are so… dark. He looks so emotionless – like he couldn't care about anything in the world. He looks so… down.

Abruptly, he looks away. "Tanya, are we going to class or not?"

"Of course, Eddie. Let's leave this freak." Edward turns away from me and Tanya follows him. When Tanya passes me, she bumps her shoulder into my back, causing me to stumble into the lockers and fall to the floor once more.

I hold back the cry of pain that is inside of me. I don't want her to see that she hurt me. I don't want to give her that satisfaction. I wait on the floor for a few more minutes before I decide it's safe to get back up. When I do, I notice that more people have gathered around our little encounter and are now all staring at me.

I start to walk away from them and to class, but one girl's outburst stops me. "Ew! Get away from me, Freak! I don't want to catch your germs!" I turn around from the way to my classroom and run as fast as I can to the nearest bathroom. When I get in there, I go into the nearest stall and empty the contents of my stomach. My meager breakfast of a glass of water and half of a poptart is now in the toilet under me.

 _How could he do this to me? I thought he cared about me?_

 _It doesn't matter now. He's done with me._

 _He played me._

 _He cheated on me._

 _He used me._

 _He got what he wanted and now I've outlived my usefulness._

 _He left me, just like everyone eventually does._

 _He's moved on._

 _He has a new girlfriend._

 _He's happy now. Without me._

 _Don't I want him to be happy?_

 _I could have made him happy again._

I pause and think about that for a moment. Could I have made him happy again? I never could have told him my secrets. I could have never been able to stop lying to him. My heart breaks just a little bit more as I realize that I could have never made him happy.

For the second time, I start to cry over Edward. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never felt the urge to cry like this before.

I cried because I know now that all the time we spent together was for nothing because I never once made him happy. I am not capable of making someone happy. I'm not capable of doing anything except ruining people's lives.

The realization hits me harder than I thought and I find myself doubling over the toilet, my dry heaving and sobs consuming me.

 _I don't deserve happiness._

 _I don't deserve to walk around like nothing ever happened between us._

 _Edward deserves happiness, even if it's with Tanya._

 _He deserves the world._

 _He was so perfect._

 _I thought he was mine._

 _I thought wrong._

 _I was only used for sex._

 _I'm a whore, just like Phil always says._

 _I deserve all the malicious things that are being said about me._

 _They're all true._

 _I am completely worthless._

I don't know how long I stay in the girl's bathroom for. It could have been for a few minutes or it could have been for the entire day and I wouldn't have noticed a difference. I heard the door open and shut several times, but no one stayed for very long. I guess hearing the Freak sob uncontrollably in the bathroom was more trouble than it's worth. Girls would come inside, hear me crying, and then run back out to the hallways giggling. This just makes me cry harder.

At some point during the day, I hear heavy steps walk inside the bathroom. They come up in front of my stall and stop. The person there knocks on the door and says, "Bella, are you in there?"

It's Charlie.

I don't answer him. I haven't spoken a word since Emmett's party and I don't plan on talking ever again. No one wants to hear me speak. No one cares about what I have to say or how I'm feeling. No one cares. Period.

"Bella, I want you to come with me, sweetie. Let me help you." He presses lightly.

Someone actually wants to help me instead of put me down? Wow, that's a change right there. But what else should I expect from the man that has been there for me even when Edward wasn't?

I get off of the toilet seat and unlock the stall door. I look up to see Charlie's big brown eyes staring into my own. He brings his hand up to my face and wipes away a few of my tears. Instead of coddling me and telling me that everything is going to be alright like I expected, he says, "I've heard the rumors about what happened last week at that party. I know how much pain you're in right now. I understand that you need time to grieve for your loss, but hiding out in the girl's bathroom isn't going to help you." I let out a very unladylike snort. "I know you're hurting, Bella, but running away from all of your problems is only going to create more problems. You're hurting yourself by not facing up to everything."

I break away from his gaze. Everything he's saying is just too much. I don't want to hear all of these things, even though I know I need to.

Charlie holds his hand out to me. "Come on, I think I should take you home now. You've suffered enough for one day." Charlie takes my hand and leads me to his car. We drive in silence to my house. I guess he just ran out of things to say to me. It's hard to have a conversation when one person won't talk back.

When we pulled into my driveway, I go to get out of the car, but a hand on my shoulder causes me to stop. "For what it's worth, I truly am sorry for everything that is happening to you. You don't deserve any of it, Bella. Please don't let this change who you are. Don't let it affect how far you've come within this past year. Please, I need you to stay you."

I don't answer him. I can't. There is no possible way that he can understand all the pain I'm going through right now. It is affecting me, whether I want it or not. This is changing me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I guess Charlie is just going to have to accept the new me. Well, technically it's the old me, but still.

I get out of the car and walk to the door without a second glance.

At home, I hurry and cook dinner for Phil and Renee, hoping to get done before they get home. Much to my chagrin, I don't get finished in time.

Phil and Renee walk through the front door simultaneously. Renee stares at me, making me really uncomfortable and then she yells at me. "Why isn't my dinner finished yet?" She screeches.

I quickly finish stirring the soup and take the pot off of the oven. I get out two bowls and two spoons and quickly poor them each a bowl of soup and place it at their respective places at the dinner table.

I gesture to the now finished dinner on the table and try to sidestep to go to my room, but it doesn't work. Phil grabs me by the shoulders and shoves me back towards the kitchen.

"You are supposed to have dinner ready and on the table by the time we get home! I never ask you to do anything else, and now you can't even complete one simple task! Why are you such a fucking failure! Why did I get stuck raising a fucking failure?" I can see the smoke coming out from her ears in rage.

As if she just flipped a switch in her brain, Renee's mood goes from completely livid to menacing in the blink of an eye. "I haven't seen that boy around a little while." Renee starts, looking suggestively at Phil. "Is he still in the picture or did you finally screw up your relationship with him too?"

I gulp, but don't do anything else in response.

Apparently, that was enough of an answer.

"Phil, you have a year worth of punishments that the little bitch deserves. She needs to start making up for them. She needs to start it now." She says menacingly.

"No problem, baby. What would you like for me to do first?" Phil walks over to me and grabs my wrists, effectively bruising them in his harsh grip.

"I think we should show her how to use a stove effectively, since she obviously doesn't know how to use it to have our dinner ready for us on time."

"I think I know exactly what you have in mind, baby." Phil drags me over to the stove and turns the stovetop on to the hottest setting. He places my left arm on one the places where the pans go and presses my arm down on it. Hard.

I can't help the cry of pain that escapes me when I feel the heat from the stove shoot through my hand, up my arm, and through the rest of my body. I've never felt anything like this kind of pain. It's new and it hurts a hell of a lot more than throwing me down the stairs ever did.

After about fifteen seconds, Phil rips my arm off of the stovetop. I cry out in pain once more as I literally feel my skin being ripped from my arm. It's the most agonizing physical pain that I have ever experienced.

"How'd you like that, bitch? Do you know how to properly use a stove now?" Renee taunts from the other side of the kitchen.

I don't move or do anything because Phil does it for me. "I don't think she knows enough yet, Renee. How about one more go, huh bitch?" And with that, he grabs my right arm and presses my forearm down to the blazing hot stovetop. I scream in pain until he finally lets go of me.

When he does, I run straight to the bathroom and turn on the faucet. I run cool water on both of my forearms until the burning sensation within me stops. When I finally remove my hands from the water, I inspect all the damage that was done. The skin on both of my forearms are gone. Left in its place is a bloody and sensitive dermis.

I can't begin to explain how much pain I'm in. I feel like I just stepped inside a furnace and then someone scratched my burned body. It hurts so bad… I don't even have the words or emotions to describe it.

When I muster up enough courage, I quickly put some toilet paper around my burns. Hopefully, this will keep blood from getting everywhere and keep the newly burned skin away from rough surfaces.

I quickly scan the bathroom cabinet for any pain pills left from my broken leg, but I don't find any. Completely devastated, I make my way to my room to try and get some sleep, despite what just happened earlier.

The one good thing that came out of Phil resuming his punishments on me again is that I didn't think about Edward once. All the pain and heartache that I've gone through over this past week wasn't anywhere in my mind as Phil burned me tonight.

I never thought I would see the day or feel the moment when I don't feel the whole in my chest aching, but it did.

Days go by and the insults get worse at school.

"Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home so they wouldn't have to deal with you anymore?"

"If you died tonight, nothing would be different tomorrow. No one would notice that you were gone."

"How does it feel to be the most unwanted person on the planet?"

"Everything you've ever thought about yourself is true."

"You are the worst thing that has ever happened to Forks High School."

"You are a living joke and a fucking tragedy of a human being. You deserve nothing but failure and misery in life."

"How does it feel knowing that Edward Cullen took your virginity as a bet and he won? Now you can never get it back!"

It just seems like everyone in the entire school has found a new and improved hatred for me.

Jacob has been especially mean with his comments. Most of the time, people just say things when I pass them in the hallways, but he doesn't. Jacob likes to make a scene in front of everyone.

"You know what Freak? You're one of a kind and that's a good thing too. Do you want to know why?" I try to walk past Jacob, but he grabs me by my shoulder and shoves me back in front of him. "I'm not through with you yet, bitch. I said, do you want to know why?"

I don't respond, but he continues anyway. "Because the universe knew that the entire world would blow up if there were two of you!" Everyone around us bursts out in laughter.

Ever since the party, Jacob and Edward have been inseparable. Edward is always in the background whenever Jacob takes it upon himself to make sure that my day is as bad as it can be. He doesn't do anything about it either. Edward doesn't partake in the 'who can make the Freak cry in public again' festival, and yet he doesn't try to stop it either. It's so confusing to me.

Jacob's insults are always the worst too. I don't know if it's because I used to consider him a friend or because I know Edward is friends with him now. I don't know which one hurts the most. Both of them make me feel like I'm getting stabbed over and over again in the heart. Sometimes I think that actually getting stabbed wouldn't be as painful as this.

I don't know how much of this I can handle before I can't take it anymore. With every passing comment, I feel myself get sicker and sicker. Every day, I end up in the same place – the girl's bathroom. I always end up throwing up whatever I have eaten in the past twenty – four hours. Most of the time it's only water. Phil and Renee go out of their way to make sure that I only eat enough to be able to stay alive.

I avoid any physical contact with everyone. My arms are healing, bit by bit, but they are still very sensitive and bloody and painful. The baggy clothing helps a little because it never touches my injured skin, but the fact that I have severe third degree burns on both of my forearms makes it very hard to avoid physical contact with everything and everyone.

I stay in the bathroom until it's time for Charlie's class. Then, I leave and walk as fast as I can there. I still hear everyone's mean comments about me, but I do my best to ignore them. I already hate myself, what more can they want?

Charlie's class makes me feel a little bit better. He forcefully makes all the other students in the class refrain from taunting me while inside of his classroom. It feels good knowing that I can go somewhere to escape some of the constant teasing and torture.

My reprieve only lasts for that one class period though. As soon as the bell rings I go to the bus and go home. Ever since Phil and Renee realized that Edward is no longer in the picture, they've made it their duty to make up for the year of 'no marks on the girl'. I can't seem to catch a break anywhere.

Yet, I've gotten to the point to where I would rather be at home with Phil than be at school with Edward and everyone else who just loves to remind me how worthless I am. Well, newsflash. I already know.

Everyday ends the same. I crawl up to my bed when Phil is done with all of his punishments for the night. I don't bother begging Renee to let me take a shower to get all of my blood off of me anymore. It never works. She always laughs in my face and says that I'm not her problem to deal with and to fix it myself.

I try to get the blood off of me the best I can in the sink, but sometimes it doesn't work. I always pick out the baggiest clothing that I have to wear for school every day. This way, no one can see the dried blood on my arms and thighs. No one can see the bruises on my wrists and waist. No one can see the burns that cover my skin. No one can see anything out of the ordinary for the Freak. No one ever cared to look hard enough to find out how broken I really am.

 _Edward did once, or at least he pretended to care about me._

The more I think of him, the harder it is to live knowing that he hates me.

More and more days go by, and I find myself feeling more and more depressed. I can't stop it. I don't even remember what it felt like to be happy. All I know now is pain and suffering and more pain.

 ****TCWT****

I've been dreading this day for a while now. It's not going to be the same. It's only going to make things worse. It's only going to make me hate myself even more. I don't even know if that's possible.

December 19. Mine and Edward's special Christmas. On this day, one year ago, Edward promised me that he would be there for me. He told me that he cared about me. He told me that he wanted me. He told me that I deserved to be treated like a princess, and yet here we are, one short year later. He's got a new girlfriend who can actually make him happy. He has everything he deserves. He's got a life and loving parents and friends who care about him. And I have nothing. I lost him. I lost all the 'friends' that I had made over the course of our relationship. I don't even have a heart capable of feeling anything but pain now.

That's the only thing I deserve: pain.

Edward is off living the life that he always should have lived. He's happy and free of worries. I'm not dragging him down anymore. He doesn't have to worry about me. I'm no longer his or anyone else's burden. That's the way it always should have been.

Tonight, when Phil gets home from work, I welcome the pain that his punishment brings me. I welcome every kick and punch and callous remark that he throws at me. I deserve every second of pain that I'm given. I welcome the release. I can forget about Edward for a littler while and just focus on the physical pain.

I fall asleep the same way I have been since that night of the party: dreaming about what used to be. I always wake up on the edge of tears because of the one thing that is slowly killing me inside and out. It's not Phil's over active drive to get back at me for making Renee upset. It's not the nasty things that people say to me at school. It's because of him.

 _He's gone; he's never coming back and it's all my fault._

 **A/N: Thoughts? Leave your comments in a review! Can we get up to 190 by Monday? See you then!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Sorry, this chapter is really short again, but I'll I promise they will be getting a lot longer very soon. For those of you who are worried about Bella forgiving Edward in an instant, don't be. I have plans for them and this story is nowhere near finished in plot. Please be patient with Edward and Bella in my story. Their relationship is a slow burn. Just stick with me and you'll find out everything you want to know! So sorry about this long author's note. Now onto the story!**

 **"** **I don't want to be going through the motions, losing all my drive. I can't even see if this is really me. And I just want to be alive." – Buffy the Vampire Slayer**

Chapter 28

EPOV

January 2010

I walk downstairs for school without a word to anyone. I've hardly talked to my parents in weeks. I said a handful of "thank yous" at Christmas on our annual cruise, but nothing more than that. I haven't really talked to my parents about what happened that night yet. I don't want to. I don't care what they have to say about it, so what's the point in telling them about it?

I quickly grab a muffin and a water out of the refrigerator and walk out the door to my car. I ignore my parents' protest and get in my car without a single word to either of them.

When I get to school, the parking lot is nearly full. I find a spot near the end of the lot and get out of my car. As I make my way in to the school, more and more people surround me and walk inside with me. Jake and Tanya are soon by my side, talking about something stupid and insignificant. It's not until I hear Tanya snicker and say, "Ew, look at the Freak, everyone. This is example A of what not to be," do I look up.

It's Bella. Sad, chocolate eyes meet my own, but I quickly look away. I don't want to look at her right now.

Jacob joins Tanya in making fun of Bella, but I tune it out. It's not until I hear one particularly offensive comment that I tune back in to the conversation.

"I bet your mom wished she had an abortion. I mean look at you. How could anyone love you? You're so… you." Tanya's nasally voice squeaked out.

I glance around the crowd that had accumulated around us and Bella. I stand off to the side as Jacob and Tanya continue their verbal assault on Bella.

Bella tries to move out of the crowd, but Jacob steps in front of her. "Now where do you think you're going, Freak? We are not finished here. We've got an audience now. It's best we give them the show they came for, don't you think so?"

When Bella still tries to move past him, Jacob grabs her shoulders and shoves her back, causing her to fall on her ass. Laughter erupts in the hallway as she slides across the floor and against the lockers. She hits them with such a loud bang, that the commotion caused several of the teachers to come outside to the hallway to see what just happened. Immediately, the crowd dispersed. My eyes meet Bella's chocolate ones and I can see how much pain she's in.

I don't care. I don't feel anything for the girl who broke my heart. I don't feel guilty about how our relationship ended. I don't feel any remorse for what is happening to her right now. I don't feel anything. I'm numb, blissfully numb. I haven't felt a thing since the night of the party and I never want to feel anything again.

I break eye contact with Bella only to look in the eyes of Mr. Masen. His eyes are hard and disappointed. I don't understand why he is disappointed in me. I mean, I'm not the one who used someone else for popularity. If he's going to be disappointed in anyone, it should be Bella. She lied to me. She kept secrets from me. She used me. She shattered my heart into a million pieces. I didn't do anything except love her and now she's getting everything that's coming to her.

I make my way to the lunch room when Mr. Masen helps Bella to her feet. I don't want to be there when he asks her if she's alright because I already know the answer. She's not. She's dying on the inside. It's written all over her face, but I don't care. I don't care about her. I don't care about anyone or anything. I'm done.

I take my seat beside Seth at our lunch table. Since my breakup with Bella, I've been sitting with Tanya, Seth, a couple of Tanya's cheerleading friends, and Laurent, the guy from Emmett's party that beat me up two years ago. Thankfully, his buddies James and Victoria graduated last year along with Emmett and Rosalie.

Tanya and her annoying friends are having a stupid conversation about pom poms or some shit like that. This gives me the perfect excuse to not participate. I just want to relish in the background noise as I finally get the chance to think to myself. That is until Seth nudges me.

"Dude, what the hell is going on with you and Bella?"

I snort. "There is absolutely fucking nothing going on between Bella and me."

"Edward, come on, I know you. I don't care what the rumors say. I know you didn't go out with Bella because it was a game or for some stupid bet. You went out with her because you liked her and from what I could tell during the summer, you clearly love her."

"I don't love her. I couldn't love someone who refused to tell me about themselves. I couldn't love someone who wouldn't put in the effort to make our relationship work. I couldn't love someone who did everything they could to push me away. I couldn't love someone like that. Someone like that doesn't want to be loved. Someone like that doesn't deserve to be loved."

I hear Seth scoff. "Cut the bullshit, would you man? Like I said, I know you. You don't date someone for just a game. You only date people who you think you could be serious with. It's how you've always been. Alice taught you that. What do you think she would say if she saw you right now? Do you think she would be okay with the way you're treating Bella?" He raises an eyebrow at me.

I roll my eyes in response, ignoring the Alice comment. "I haven't done anything to Bella."

"Exactly. You haven't _done_ anything. You've sat on the sidelines and watched as the entire school treats Bella like shit. The Edward I know, the Edward that I grew up with, would never let them do that. He would stand up for the girl that he loves."

"In case you haven't noticed, Seth, I'm not the same old Edward. If you don't like what you see, then maybe you should just leave me the fuck alone," I say in a cold, hard voice. I've never treated Seth like this before and I know he doesn't deserve it. He just really knows how to push my buttons.

"I don't even know you are anymore," He says.

 _I don't know either._ A little voice in the back of my head says.

"Look, what's done is done. I can't do undo it and I don't want to." I hope he doesn't notice that I'm lying through my fucking teeth.

Seth shakes his head and stares at his food, effectively ending our conversation.

 ****TCWT****

Football continues to drag on. I don't get excited when Fridays come anymore. I don't get excited for anything at all anymore. I don't care that I have a game tonight. I don't care that the entire town is rooting for us to bring home another national title. I don't care that we are undefeated once again this season. I don't care that we are the favorite to win nationals this year. I just don't care. I don't care about anything. I mean, why should I? Everything I cared about before, took me for granted.

Tonight, we have a game against Bellevue High School from Bellevue, Washington. They are supposed to be our hardest competition so far in this season, but I could care less. It doesn't mean anything to me, nothing does anymore.

I feel like I'm only going through the motions of my life. Nothing is like it used to be before… I go through the motions of everything to please everyone else. I don't want anyone to think that something is wrong with me.

I put on my jersey, my pads, and my cleats for the game. I go warmup with everyone, even though my mind is on anything but football. I don't even realize that the game is starting until the referee's whistle blows and pulls me out of my thoughts.

The ball is thrown to me and I immediately look to my receivers to see if they are open. I don't get the chance to look for long. In the blink of an eye, I am knocked off of my feet and onto the ground. I feel a sharp stinging sensation on my side and I start to get dizzy. I hear Seth rush over to me.

I hear his voice, "Edward, are you okay, man?"

I don't respond. I don't get a chance to before my vision goes black.

 ****TCWT****

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I can hear people moving around and talking near me, but I can't quite open my eyes right now. They are too heavy. I feel like I'm in a daze. Instead of forcing all of my energy into opening my eyes, I try to focus on the conversation that's happening somewhere in the room.

"I heard back from social services today, Esme."

My mom gasps. "Oh thank goodness. Maybe they'll find the proof they need to get that poor girl out of that house."

 _Proof? Proof of what? What girl? Why would she need to get out of her house?_

My head is swirling with questions, but I tune back into the conversation to try and find out more information.

"I don't know anymore, baby. The way that the lady on the phone was talking… it was like they had already dismissed it. It doesn't matter that he's the police chief of Forks, they still have to look into it, no matter how unlikely it may be."

 _Police chief of Forks? I know who that is. I just can't seem to place my finger on who they are talking about exactly._

"But they're still going to look into right? Send someone to her house and observe them for a while? Maybe try and get to the bottom of where she gets all the bruises from? There's got to be something that they can find, right?" Mom asks. I can hear the worry in her voice. Something is really bothering her about this.

 _Who do I know that has a lot of bruises? I know it's someone important. The name is on the tip of my tongue, I just can't put my finger on who it is._

"They have to send someone over there and investigate what I wrote down in my report a few weeks ago, but I don't know if it will do anyone any good," Dad says with a sigh.

"Can we do anything to help?"

I hear Dad sigh again. "I'm afraid not, Esme. We legally, cannot get involved with the state's investigation. I –"

A door being opened and closed interrupts my dad's sentence. "Good evening, Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen. It's nice to see you both, although I wish it was under better circumstances."

"It's good to see you too, Dr. Gerandy. What's the verdict?"

 _Dr. Gerandy? The guy that works with Dad at the hospital? Is that where I'm at right now, the hospital? Why am I in the hospital?_

I finally build enough strength to open my eyes. When I do, the monitors beside me start beeping crazily and my mom immediately rushes over to me. "Oh baby, I was so worried about you. How are you feeling?"

I look at her with a funny look. _Is she crazy? I feel fine, why shouldn't I?_ "I'm fine, Mom. What's going on? Where am I?"

"Sweetie, you don't remember a thing, do you?"

I shake my head no.

"The first play of the game, you got hit. You fell to the ground and didn't get back up. You blacked out, baby. Dr. Gerandy was about to tell us what's wrong with you."

Before I have a chance to respond, Dr. Gerandy pipes in. "Despite the nasty fall that you took on the field, not much damage was done to you. You broke one rib on your left side. It was a clean break, so you should be healed and ready to play football again in about eight weeks. Just in time for you to take us back to UDUB and win Forks another national title, right?" He says excitedly.

 _Here we go again with the whole 'I'm only good for playing football' thing again._

I ignore his comment about nationals and ask, "If I have a broken rib, why can't I feel it? Shouldn't I be in a shit ton of pain, right now?"

"You should be, but we gave you a painkiller as soon as you got out of your X – ray."

 _That must be why I couldn't think of anything earlier and why I couldn't concentrate on anything too._

"Great." I answer curtly. I turn to my dad. "So when can I get out of here?"

Dr. Gerandy answers for me. "You can leave as soon as you feel up to it. It's late and there is no rush. Take your time. I'll give your dad some prescription Oxycodone for your rib and you'll be free to go."

I nod and as soon as Dr. Gerandy hands Dad the pills, I am up out of the hospital bed, and walking towards the car. Despite my broken rib, I don't feel any pain as I walk. I don't feel anything. I'm numb.

The entire car ride home, I could tell that my mom and dad wanted to talk to me about something, but I ignored all of their attempts at making any sort of conversation. When we get home, I get out of the car as quick as I can in hopes of avoiding the inevitable talk I know that I know my parents have been dying to have.

I walk in the house as quickly as I can and try to stomp up the stairs, but my mom's voice stops me. "Edward, baby, come back down for a second. Your father and I want to talk to you about something. It's important." I sigh and begrudgingly make my way back down the stairs, huffing and puffing with every move.

"What's wrong?"

"Look sweetie, we're just worried about you. For the past several weeks, you've been acting… off." Mom glances at Dad, trying to figure out what else to say I'm sure.

I roll my eyes. "There's nothing to be worried about. I'm fine. Nothing is wrong."

"What your mother is trying to say is that you can talk to us about anything." Dad pipes in.

I huff in annoyance. Why can't they just let me go upstairs? "There's nothing to talk about."

"Baby, you haven't acted like yourself in a couple of weeks. I can't help but also notice that Bella hasn't been around in a while and you haven't talked about her at all. Did something happen? Did she break up with you or something?" Mom ask.

I can feel anger start to build in me. It feels weird… It's the first emotion I've felt since everything happened. I can't help but be pissed off at my Mom's insinuation. She doesn't know anything and I wish she would stop prying. "I said I'm fucking fine. Don't worry about me. Mind your own damn business for once would you?" I seethe.

Dad stands up, clearly angered by my outburst to Mom. "That is enough, Edward. Do not talk to your mother like that! Go to your room. I can't even stand to look at you right now."

I huff and turn back around to go back to my room. My rage starts to consume me to the point where I can only see red. I'm almost to my room when I hear my mom start to cry. "What's going on with him, Carlisle? He's never acted like this before, not even when Alice…"

I walk back over to the top of the stairs to see my dad put his arm around Mom in comfort. "Shh, baby. I know. I know. I'll try to talk to him and see what's going on."

"I thought Bella was the one for him, Carlisle. The way he looked at her… it's the same way you look at me. I just want him to be happy again. I hate seeing him like this. He's been so distant lately and now he just yelled at me. He's never done that before, Carlisle! I just want my son back."

"I know, sweetheart, I know. I'll talk to him soon and try to figure out what's been going on, okay?"

"He's hurting, Carlisle. He's trying to hide it, but I know my son. I want to know what happened between him and Bella. It may be the only way he's going to get better," Mom says softly.

"I know. I'll take care of everything, Esme. Don't worry about a thing."

I don't want to hear anymore, so I stomp over to my room.

Who does my mom think she is? She doesn't know what's going on inside my head! She doesn't know that I'm hurting, because I'm not! I don't care that my entire relationship with Bella was just a lie. I don't care that I fell in love with a girl who could never love me back. I don't care that I cheated on her with the girl that tortures her. I don't care! I don't feel anything about Bella! I don't feel anything about anyone or anything! Feeling is pointless! It doesn't give you anything except heartache.

I don't realize that I'm crying until I feel something wet touch my lips. I bring my hands to my face so I can rub my eyes. I shouldn't be crying about this. I can't be crying over this. It's not worth it. She's not worth it.

Something on my wrist catches my eye. I look down to see the green bracelet that Bella gave me on our Christmas when we were together. _Why am I still wearing this?_ Suddenly angry, I reach down to unclasp it and throw it across the room. It's over there for an entire four seconds before I run back over to retrieve it.

I can't do this. I can't take it off. It means too much. I promised her that I would always wear it. Unlike some people I know, I keep my promises. I reach back down and quickly clasp it back on my wrist. I swore that I would always wear it, and I intend on doing so. It's the one thing I have left of her. I don't want to let it go. I don't want to let _her_ go.

 _What have I done?_

 _I broke up with Bella._

 _I cheated on Bella._

 _I've turned the entire school against Bella._

Although I would never admit it to anyone, I completely regret everything that I said and did at Emmett's party. As much as I was hurting from all the deceit, Bella didn't deserve what I did to her.

 _Tanya and Jacob are now torturing Bella openly because they think it's what I want._

As much as I hate to admit it, I still love Bella. Despite what I've been telling everyone else, I just can't seem to stop. She was my first love and she broke my heart. I have every right to be angry with her, don't I?

 _No. You're hurting her._

I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel this sorrow and anger, but I do. I don't want to know this despair, but I do. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I feel as if I have a giant hole in my chest that just keeps getting bigger and bigger every moment. It kind of reminds me of how I felt when Alice died, but I had my family going through the same thing back then. Now, I'm all alone.

There is no way that Bella feels the same way I do. She's the one that did this to us. She's the one who drove us apart with everything that she did. She's the one who used me. I loved her unconditionally and in return, I get all of this suffering.

 _You cheated on her, you, not her._

 _You broke your relationship with her._

 _You are the source of all your pain and misery, not Bella._

 _Stop blaming her for your mistakes._

 _You are the problem._

 _You did this to her, now it's up to you to fix it._

The little voice in the back of my head makes me cry even harder. Everything it is saying is true. This is all my fault. I did this to us, not Bella. It was my mistake by cheating on her, not the other way around. It was my lips that was on Tanya's, not hers on someone else's. It was my mind and my body who cheated on Bella, not her. I did this to us and I hate myself so much for it.

I'm to blame for everything. How could I have been so stupid? Bella is an amazing person and now all these rumors are going around about her at school. Jacob and Tanya are tormenting her in front of the entire school. I have to do something about this. I have to make it up to her somehow.

What can I do, though? She hates me for what I did to her and she should. _I_ hate me for what I did to her.

As much as I want to, I can't run up to her and beg for her forgiveness because she won't do it. I don't deserve to be forgiven for my actions. I don't even think I can forgive me for hurting Bella like I did. I'm beyond redemption. I need something more. I have to show her how sorry I am. I have to prove to her that I am worth forgiving.

I have to. It's the only way I can make this right. I have to make her understand that I regret everything that happened that night. I regret all of the yelling at her for not trusting me with her secrets. I have to make sure she knows how unbelievingly sorry I am for everything I've done to her. It's the only way to make this right.

I have to make it up to her. I have to make this right. No matter what the cost is, I have to do this for her.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Does everyone still hate Edward or are you seeing his side of things better now? Is anyone frustrated with Bella and her actions? Or Carlisle and Esme? Any guesses as to what is coming next? Tell me what you think in a review! Can we get up to 230 reviews by next Monday? Next up BPOV. I'll see you next week.**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Some of you guys didn't understand why Edward went from being numb to realizing his mistakes. If you go back and reread the last chapter, there was something very important that triggered Edward's change of heart. He realized something very important. Edward didn't simply go from numb one second to regretful the next, something very vital happened to him in the process. If you still don't understand what happened after you've reread the chapter, then feel free to PM me and I will be happy to answer your questions. Sorry for the long AN note. Enjoy the chapter!**

 **"** **Will we ever say the words we're feeling, reach down underneath and tear down all the walls? Will we ever have a happy ending or we will we forever only be pretending?" – Glee**

Chapter 29

BPOV

February 2010

"Get in here right now you little bitch!" I hear Phil shriek from the kitchen.

I scramble out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen where Phil and Renee are waiting for me. "What did you do?" Phil screams at me. The amount of rage in his voice scares me enough to where I'm cowering in the corner within seconds.

I don't understand why he's yelling at me. I don't understand what he's talking about. I haven't done anything to upset him.

Clearly pissed by my lack of response, Phil picks me up off of the floor by my arms and slams me hard against the wall. I bite back my cry of pain when he squeezes my burns roughly. "Why the hell is social services coming for a visit, huh bitch? What did you do?" Phil is screaming so loud I'm sure the entire street can hear every single word that he's saying.

I look at him in confusion. He thinks I had something to do with social services being contacted? How the hell would I have told them anything considering the fact that I don't speak? Could Phil get any stupider?

"Phil, the girl had nothing to do with it. The lady who called me on the phone this morning, said they got a file submitted from a doctor in the hospital. She said that the report said that based on the girl's injuries and frequent visits to the hospital, some doctor thinks child abuse is occurring. Some big time doctor thinks they know how to treat our child better than we can! They think that our punishments are child abuse, but they're wrong, aren't they, bitch? You deserve every little punishment that we give you." Renee's eerie voice screeches out. She walks over to where Phil has me pinned up against the wall. "Don't you?"

I don't answer. I don't move. My mind is spinning so fast right now. Someone from the hospital sent a report about my injuries? How could they possibly know though? I've been so careful not to say anything to anyone and I know Charlie wouldn't have done anything. So, who could it have come from?

I think to myself for a few minutes until Renee brings me out of my thoughts. "They are sending the girl's case worker over here tomorrow to do an official investigation. If we don't pass this investigation, Phil, we're going to lose the girl and the money that she comes with! We can't do that! You have to fix this."

Phil drops me to the ground and I land very painfully on my ass. Phil turns around to face Renee. "What do you mean I have to fix this? This is your problem too," he says with conviction.

"I mean, you are the one who hits the girl, not me. You are the one who puts this girl in the hospital, not me. I have nothing to do with this. This is your problem, now you need to fix it. Besides, I have to work late tomorrow night anyway."

"Fine. I'll take care of it." Phil huffs and turns his attention back to me. "Say a word about this to anyone, and it _will_ be the death of you. Now, get out of my fucking sight before I make you, bitch." And with that, I scurry off to my room as fast as my feet can carry me.

As I lay in my bed, I let my thoughts consume me. I think for hours and hours throughout the night, trying to figure out who could have made the report. Then it hits me.

Carlisle.

Edward's dad.

It has to be him. I was around him the most out of all of the doctors. It's the only thing that makes sense. But why? After everything that has happened between me and Edward, why would Carlisle do it? I'm nothing to him now. I'm just the girl who used to hang around his son a lot. I'm nothing, so why go to all the trouble of sending a report just for some stupid little girl?

I let my thoughts wonder throughout the night, knowing that there's no way that I will be able to sleep with Phil so angry and restless.

A small part of me thinks that maybe telling someone about Phil and Renee won't be a bad idea. I mean, how much worse can it get? There's a social services lady coming over tomorrow to check out a report sent by Carlisle Cullen. Maybe she'll figure out that something is up and take me away from this horrible place.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

She doesn't have to know exactly what Phil and Renee do to me. She can just see that they are unfit to take care of me as a foster child. She doesn't need to know that Phil beats me up or that Renee hardly feeds me. The lady just needs to see that this house is a bad environment for a child. That's it.

But what if she doesn't believe that I'm being abused? Who else could I tell? Who else would believe me?

 _No one would believe you._

 _It's your word against his and he's the chief of police._

 _You're all alone in this._

My only hope for freedom is for this social services lady to see and recognize that this place is hardly fit to have a child living here. She needs to recognize that Phil and Renee are not fit to be foster parents for anyone ever again.

With my newfound hope, I drift off to sleep with high plans for tomorrow.

 ****TCWT****

As soon as I walk out of the front door the next morning, someone grabs me from behind. "You're daddy Phil thinks you're too ugly to rape, so that's why he beats the shit out of you every night, isn't it?

I shiver at his words. I always knew that Phil thought that about me, but to hear someone else say it… it's so cruel.

"I don't know how Edward ever put up with you. I don't even know how he got close enough to breathe in the same air as you, let alone fuck you. That's right, I know how he fucked you every time you went over to his house. I know a lot of things. I know how a social service worker is coming over to your house to investigate an incident report tonight. I know how Phil and Renee threatened to kill you so you'll keep your mouth shut about it. I'm here to tell you that if you don't keep your mouth shut, I'm going to fucking kill you myself, you little cunt."

I gulp. He can't be serious, can he? I mean, if he was going to kill me, he would have done it already, right? What's the point in waiting? It's not like my life is getting any better.

My stalker seemed to take that as answer and shoves me on the ground as he makes his getaway. I don't bother trying to look and see his face anymore. I know he'll be gone by the time I'm able to get up anyway. I'm just wasting my energy.

Moments later, I hear the school bus pull around and pass my driveway. I finally get up off of the ground in time to see the bus turn down the next road, leaving me at my house without any transportation to get to school other than my own two feet.

Sighing, I start walking the five mile walk to school. About half way there, the rain starts to come down, but I don't let it faze me. I just need to get this school day over with so I can get back home and see the social worker.

As I make my way into the school, soaking wet and over an hour late, I am relieved to find no one in the hallways. I quickly make my way to my locker to grab my books for class. On my way to the bathroom to get dried off, I hear the all too familiar sound of high heels clicking down the hallway, along with other footsteps.

I turn around to see Tanya, Edward, Seth, and Jacob walking towards me. As soon as I make eye contact with them, the insults begin. I stand by as Jacob and Tanya take turns insulting me and watch as Edward and Seth stand to the side uncomfortably.

"You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory, aren't you, Freak?" Jake said.

"You're just one of those people who would be enormously improved by death, aren't you?"

"You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen."

"It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork."

"If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid."

I can't take it anymore. How can Edward just stand there and listen to all of the cruel things they're saying to me? I turn to walk away, but Tanya makes another comment that stops me in my tracks. "Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to give you some bleach."

I can feel tears prick the backs of my eyes.

"Would you just the shut the fuck up already, Tanya?"

I turn around when I hear his voice.

"Why the hell do you have to say that kind of shit? Does it make up for the fact that you're a raging bitch? Here, I'll answer that. No, it doesn't."

I'm in shock as I hear the next words come out of Edward's mouth.

"Leave her alone, Tanya, Jake. She hasn't done anything to you. I'm fed up with you two trying to destroy her life! Leave her the fuck alone!" And with that, Edward storms off in the other direction, but not without looking me directly in the eyes. There is so much pain in them and for a split second I think that he's hurting just as much as I am. But just as fast as the moment came, it went. Edward broke eye contact with me and walks off.

 _What the hell just happened here?_

 _Did Edward seriously just stick up for me?_

 _Did he really just tell Jake and Tanya to fuck off for me?_

I can't believe it. It just seems too good to be true. I watch as Tanya and Jacob huff and walk where Edward was heading. Now, only Seth remains.

The amount of sympathy in his eyes makes me want to cry all over again. I miss Seth so much. He was always so sweet and kind to me and then overnight, our friendship seemed to disappear just like everything else good in my life did.

He starts walking in my direction with a hand extended forward, but for every step he takes towards me, I take two back.

"Bella, I don't know what to say," He says softly.

I shake my head.

 _You don't have to say anything, Seth. I get it. You chose your best friend over some worthless girl. Don't worry about it. What's done is done. I was never anything to you anyway._

I want to say these things so bad, but I can't seem to muster up the courage to do it.

Seth takes another step towards me, but I turn around and run as fast as I can to the girls bathroom. When I don't hear footsteps behind, I know that Seth got the message.

 _Don't come after the worthless girl. You're only wasting your time, breath, and energy._

I spend the rest of the school day hiding out in the bathroom until it's time to go to Charlie's class. I don't see Edward for the rest of the day. No one says a word to me either, so I'm assuming that Edward's words stuck with Jake and Tanya and the rest of the school followed suit. I still don't understand why he stood up for me. I'm nothing to him anymore.

At the end of the day, I take the school bus home and anxiously wait for the social worker lady to arrive.

Phil has literally been pacing around the house since he got home. He told me to sit at the kitchen table until the social service lady got here, so that's what I've been doing for the past hour and a half.

When the doorbell rings, I see Phil jump. I guess I'm not the only one how is a little anxious about this meeting.

When Phil opens the front door, a tall lady walks right past Phil and straight to me.

"Hi, Bella. I am Helen. I am the case worker that has been assigned to you. I'm here to meet you and talk to you. Why don't you tell me about yourself?" The lady says excitedly.

I don't know if she knows about me and how I don't talk, but after five minutes of a staring contest, I think she gets the picture.

"Okay… I guess not. Sweetie, why are you in long sleeves? I know it's cold outside, but we are inside now. And it has got to be at least eighty degrees in this house. Are you not hot in that?"

Once again, I don't answer. I have to wear this shirt because I can't let anyone see the still healing burns on my forearms.

When she realizes that I'm not going to answer her, she reaches forward and tries to roll up the sleeves of my shirt. Before she gets the chance, I jerk back on instinct. I don't know who I surprised more, me or the lady.

"Show me your arms, Bella. It's okay. I'm here to help," She says condescendingly. She reaches forward and tries again, but I jerk away once more.

When she realizes that I'm not going to let her see my arms, she tries a different approach. "How about you give me a tour of the house then, Bella?"

Okay, this I can do.

I get up and gesture for the lady to follow me up the stairs. I point to the door that leads to my room and then point back to me, hoping she'll get the picture.

"So this is your room, Bella?" Helen points towards the door of my room.

I nod my head yes.

"Can I go in and look around?"

I nod once again, too nervous to be able to do anything else.

The lady walks in my room and looks around. She walks over to my closet and peeks inside. I'm suddenly thankful that I remembered to move all of the Christmas presents that Edward gave me to a spot under my bed where no one but me can find them.

Once she is finished looking around my room and taking a few notes, the case worker lady walks back down to the kitchen. "Have a seat Phil. I would like to tell you about my findings today."

"Alright," Phil says nervously, "I'm all ears."

Helen takes a deep breath and begins. "Based on my findings, I think Bella needs to be placed in a different home. She is clearly not well cared for here. She doesn't have hardly any clothes. She is literally skin and bones. She completely refused me when I ask if she would take off her jacket so that I could see her without her long sleeves."

 _Yes! She sees it! I'm almost free!_

Helen glances at me, pity filled in her expression. In an instant, she looks back to Phil and Renee and resumes talking. "Although I do not have proof that you are physically abusing this child, I do have enough information to get her out of this home for the time being." She looks directly at me and says, "Bella, why don't you go pack a bag of all of your things for me?"

I hesitantly nod my head, but don't move. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Phil tense up and ready himself for action if need be.

"The girl stays here with us." His voice has enough venom in it to make a snake back down in fear.

 _Oh, no. It scares me when Phil gets like this._

"No, the girl is coming with me." Helen says calmly.

Phil sighs and changes his entire expression. "Helen, isn't there something we can do to work this out, on the side, if you know what I mean. There's many ways I can be of assistance to you." The smirk on Phil's face makes me want to gag when I realize what he's saying.

 _He's trying to seduce her._

Helen gasps. "If you are insinuating what I think you are, then the answer is no. But there are other ways I can be persuaded." The same smirk that is on Phil's face makes me want to throw up.

 _No! This isn't how this was supposed to go! This can't be happening to me!_

My eyes go wide in horror as I see Phil break out in a massive smile. "What did you have in mind?" He asks sweetly.

"I think a couple grand should make me keep my mouth shut about the girl." Helen says with a sick grin on her face.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Not even two seconds ago, this lady was trying to help me and now she's giving me up in the blink of an eye.

"I think we can work something out." Phil smiles sickly at me and reaches in his pocket and pulls out his checkbook. He grabs a pin from Helen and starts making out the check to her. When he finishes, he hands it to her and says, "It was a pleasure doing business with you, Helen." They both stand up.

 _No._

As Helen makes her way to the front door, money in hand, she looks back to me. I see the slightest bit of remorse of her face as she says, "Sorry kid, but I have bills to pay too." and walks out the door.

 _I can't believe my only chance of freedom just left through the front door without even a second thought._

Within seconds of the shutting of the door, I sprint up to my room, tears pricking the back of my eyes just begging me to let them fall.

 _I guess no one in the world is capable of caring about me or my well-being. Not even my own damn social worker. My one chance at being free of Phil and Renee is gone, out the door with a couple thousand dollars._

When I hear footsteps following me up the stairs, I run faster to my room. When I get there, I try to find a place to hide in an effort to try and save myself from Phil. Seconds after I dive underneath my bed, my door breaks down. He stalks over to me, grabs me by my hair, and yanks me up. On my way out from under my bed, my foot gets caught on a leg of the bed. Because Phil yanked me so hard up, the bed flipped over, therefore exposing the belongings that I had hidden away there.

Phil immediately drops me on my ass when he sees the giant garbage bag filled with clothes and such slide out from underneath the bed. He walks over to it and dumps everything out. "You little bitch. Where the fuck did you get all of this?" He points to the clothes and makeup and shoes and jacked that was previously in the bag.

When I don't answer him, his tone goes eerily calm voice that freaks me out more than his mad voice. "I asked you a fucking question, bitch. Answer me."

I don't answer him. Instead I move to the corner of my room and try to make myself as small as possible. I have no idea what he's going to do to me next. The way he's looking at me right now… the phrase if looks could kill doesn't seem to suffice.

Phil walks over to where all of my things are now dumped out of the bag. He calculatedly picks up each article of clothing and starts to rip them. I see fabric being thrown all over my room and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

He's destroying all of my clothes! If he keeps ripping everything to shreds, then I won't have any other clothes to wear other than the ones on my back.

In hopes of getting his attention away from the only things I have left from Edward, I grab the thing closest to me – a bottle of perfume that Edward had given me – and pick it up. I muster up all the strength I have left in my body and throw it as hard as I can at Phil. Luck must be on my side because two seconds later the glass bottle of perfume hits Phil on the back and shatters on impact. He drops the shreds of my clothes and turns around. He stalks over to me and with a sinister grin on his face, he begins to hit me.

Punch after punch lands on my body. At first Phil only hit me on my stomach, but then he began to broaden his horizons and started to hit me on my arms, on my hips, on my legs, on my thighs, any place he could his hands on. With every blow, I feel a little part of me give up.

So this is how it ends. This is how I die. On the floor of my bedroom, beaten to death by my foster dad. I guess that's how it was always supposed to be. I was never meant to be happy. I was always meant to be miserable and alone. I don't deserve anyone to care about me, I never did. I've done nothing but come into people's lives and ruin them. I'm such a waste of space and now I'm finally getting my last punishment. Death.

I don't know how long he hits me for, but I finally stop feeling his blows. My body goes numb and I just stop caring. This is the end for me. At some point, I pass out from all the pain.

Hours later, I wake up on the floor in a pile of my own blood. I try to move, but every bone in my body groans in protest.

 _I thought death was supposed to be peaceful and pain free?_

I look around to take in my surroundings. I note that I'm still in my bedroom.

 _I guess Phil didn't finish the job after all._

I try to take in the damage that Phil did to me, but sitting up causes me too much pain. The throbbing that is now radiating throughout my body makes me question my life.

 _Why didn't Phil just kill me?_

 _What purpose do I have living?_

 _No one cares about me._

 _No one would notice if I just died._

 _Maybe that's what I should do. Just die._

 _I could end my pain and suffering once and for all._

 _No more nights with Phil and Renee._

 _No more Tanya and Jake torturing me at school._

 _No more stalker who seems to know my every move._

 _No more Edward hating me._

 _No more feeling worthless._

 _No more anything._

 _I could be here one second and be gone for the next._

 _It's that easy._

What's keeping me from killing myself now? Edward clearly doesn't care about me anymore. I don't have any friends anymore. I've never had a family, so they obviously can't miss me. What's holding me back?

This in mind, I slowly get up off of the floor and make my way to the bathroom. I rummage through all of the drawers until I find what I'm looking for.

A razor blade.

A few good cuts and I can finish Phil's job. I won't be in anyone's way anymore. I won't be a nuisance to anyone anymore. I can finally be pain free. The people around me can finally have an end to their suffering all with this one razor blade. What do I have to lose?

 _Charlie_. A little voice in the back of my head says quietly, causing me to spot dead in my tracks.

Charlie. Robert. I can't do this to him again. I can't kill myself and leave Charlie all alone like what happened with Robert. I can't be the one to do that to him.

I put the razor blade back down and slowly make my way to room, my thoughts filled with Charlie and how disappointed he would be in me if I had actually gone through with what I was about to do. It would break him, not me actually dying, but the fact that he had another student kill themselves because of their crappy lives. I'm not going to put him through that again.

Back in my room, I lay on the cold hard floor and do my best to rest up before school the next day.

 **A/N: Thoughts? What do you think is going to happen next? Leave what you think in a review! Next up, EPOV. Can we get up to 245 reviews by Monday? See you next week.**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **For those of you who were upset by the social worker's actions, just stay with me. I promise it's not what you think.**

 **After reading a certain review, I feel like I need to say this, so here it goes. If you don't want to read my story, then don't. No one is making you. I put warnings up at the beginning of each chapter (if needed) and there is a warning on the summary of this story. If you don't like what's happening, then that's your loss. I write because I want to. This story has Angst as its main genre for a reason. THIS STORY IS VERY ANGSTY in case you haven't noticed. While I do appreciate constructive criticism, hate comments will not be tolerated. If you don't like my story, then stop reading it. I'm not going to change my story based on one review.**

 **For everyone else, thank you guys so much for your feedback! I can't tell you how much it means to me. Keep it coming! I know some of you are worried about me dragging on Bella's suffering, but please don't be. I'm not saying it will happen in this chapter, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just stick with me, I promise it will be worth it! Now onto the story.**

 **"** **Is it too late now to say sorry, cause I'm missing more than just your body. Is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say sorry now?" – Justin Bieber**

Chapter 30

EPOV

March 2010

What have I done?

Every day at school, Bella comes in with some new injury on her. Although she hides it well from everyone else, I know her too well. I can see how much physical pain she's in. Whether she's limping or refusing to be near people, I know someone is hurting her. I just need to find out who and put an end to it.

I've had a lot of time to think over the past couple of months. Time to step back and look at the entire picture. I've distanced myself away from everyone so I can figure out what anything and everything means to me. What I've come to realize shocks me.

Every time I see Bella, a little piece of me breaks inside because I know that I am the one who did that to her. I know that I am the one who broke her, maybe not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I did that to her. Me. I am the source of her pain and she is the source of mine.

When we were together, I couldn't see how much I cared for her, how much I loved her. I couldn't see that she was the only one who kept me grounded, who kept me, me. She was the one who was always there for me no matter what.

She was my best friend, my girlfriend, my lover, and I treated her like shit. I can't hate myself more for what I've done to her and it only took four months for me to realize it. I blamed her for all the secrets and lies, when I really should have stepped back and seen her point of view of it.

If she wanted to tell me whatever secrets she has, she would have. Until then, I should've just given her time. I shouldn't have forced her to choose like I did. It was stupid and rash and now I don't have the girl that I love anymore.

Every night in my dreams, I relive the night of the party. I relive the part where Bella sees me making out with Tanya. I see the look of betrayal on her face and I hate myself for it. I want to punch myself in the face for what I did to her. I deserve it.

In my dreams, something always sticks out to me. Each dream, I distinctly remember feeling like something was off. My head is spinning and I can't think straight. Everything around me starts to blur and I just feel like something is off. Something isn't right in this dream. I don't know what it is or what it means, but I have no excuse for what I did to Bella.

I broke her, which in turn, is breaking me.

And you know what it took for me to realize this?

Alice.

The anniversary of Alice's death was last month and ever since then, I've seen my relationship with Bella in an entirely different light.

On the day of Alice's death this year, I realized how alone I felt. I felt like I didn't have anyone I could talk to, not even my parents. I thought about how I coped with this loneliness last year, then I remembered I didn't. I wasn't lonely last year. I had Bella. She was here for me and I didn't realize how important she was to me until it was too late. And now I have to do live with the consequences of my actions.

Every day is a living hell. I see Bella in the hallways, but I don't talk to her. I can't. Why would she even want to look at me, let alone talk to me, after everything I've done to her? It's torture. I see how much pain she is in, but I know I can't do anything about it, no matter how much I want to. It doesn't matter how much I want, no need, to take back what I did. I know there's no way she can ever forgive me for it, but I want to be back in her life someway.

It seems like Bella, and only Bella, consumes my every waking thought. She consumes my dreams at night. She is the first thing that I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing that I think about before I fall asleep at night. Even at school and football, everything is about Bella.

But the question still remains. What was she hiding from me and why?

 ****TCWT****

School goes by slowly. I feel myself zoning out at all parts of the day. When I finally tune back in to what's going on around me, it is lunch and Tanya is talking.

"You know, I think she's pregnant. She's always in the bathroom in the mornings. She always wears those same old, baggy, nasty, clothes every day. It's the only logical explanation, guys." Tanya smirks and grabs a grape off her plate. I watch as she throws it across our table and hit Bella on the head. Our entire table, save Seth and I, erupts in laughter.

Utterly outraged by what just happened, I stand up and slam my hands on the table. "Would you all just leave her the fuck alone already? She hasn't done anything to any of you! If any of you do anything to her ever again, you will answer to me." And with that, I storm off. I go outside and wait in my car until football practice.

Time goes by so slow as I wait for practice to start. Then football drags on and on.

This is my life now. Just going through the motions of school, letting life go by. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I have nothing exciting in my life. I just feel so empty.

On my way home from practice, a police officer pulls me over when I am about ten minutes away from the school. I patiently wait until the cop gets out of his cruiser and walks my way.

"Do you know how fast you were going, kid?"

That voice. I know that voice. I look up to a familiar and sinister face.

It's Phil, Bella's foster dad.

Resentment consumes me. He's one of the reasons that Bella kept lying to me. I can't help but spit out my response. "You." I say angrily.

Phil's head snaps up. Eye to eye, I see recognition flash across his face. "You're the kid who took my fun away for an entire year," he mumbles out. I don't think I was supposed to be able to hear or to understand that because it doesn't make any sense to me.

I took away his fun for a year? What is that supposed to mean?

"Get out of the car," He spits out.

"What? Why? I thought I was just speeding?" I'm so confused. Why the hell do I have to get out of the car?

"I said get out of the fucking car!"

I don't move, which only infuriates him even more.

"This is resisting arrest! You're going to jail with me right now!"

"The hell I am! What the hell are you talking about? I haven't done anything to get arrested!"

My response only spurs him on. He pulls his gun out of his holster and points it at me. "Get out of the car now or else I will shoot."

My eyes go wide. Now scared for my life, I immediately open the car door and get out.

"That's a good boy." He puts his gun back in his holster and gets out some handcuffs. "Now, put your hands behind your back. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. If you do say anything, what you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult with a lawyer and have that lawyer present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire."

All while saying this, he is leading me to the backseat of his cruiser. He shoves me inside forcefully, almost making me hit my head on the top of the car on the way in.

Not a word is spoken on the way to the police station. Once there, Phil yanks me out of the car and inside the building. He all but throws me inside the holding cell without a second glance.

A couple of hours go by before anything happens. Phil finally comes up to me and says that I can use my one phone call now. He unlocks the door and I walk straight to the pay phone. I quickly dial my mom's number and hope for the best. It rings four times before she finally picks up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ma. I need your help."

"What are you talking about? Why aren't you home? Practice got over three hours ago! Do you know how worried I've been?" Mom all but screams in my ear.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. Please just calm down and listen to me. I got pulled over and the asshole arrested me for no reason. I'm at the police station right now. Can you come and get me?"

I can hear her gasp on the other end. "Edward… What did you do?" She asks warily.

I huff in frustration. "I didn't do anything, Mom. Just get down here please."

"Okay… Your father and I are on our way down there right now."

"Thank you."

I hang up the phone and go back to me cell. I wait patiently for my parents arrive.

As soon as my mom walks in the door, she runs straight for me. "Oh, baby. What happened? Are you alright? Why are you here? What did you do?"

I huff and roll my eyes. "I didn't do anything! This asshole over here," I point to where Phil is standing, "arrested me for no good reason!"

Phil decides now is the time to make his opinion known. "That is not true, ma'am. Your boy was speeding and when I pulled him over, he refused to cooperate with me. I had no choice but to arrest him."

"What the hell are you talking about? I cooperated with him! He pulled his gun out on me within five seconds of pulling me over! He told me to get out of the car or that he would shoot! I didn't do anything wrong! He's fucking psycho!"

"Boy, you should know better than to lie, especially about an encounter with an officer," Phil says with a smirk on his face.

"I am not lying! Mom, you have to believe me! I didn't do anything wrong!"

Mom looks at me skeptically and it's Dad who responds to Phil.

"So are you pressing charges against him? He is still a minor."

Phil sighs angrily. "No. I am not pressing charges. This is his first offense and it will go down in his permanent record, but he won't be taken to court."

"Oh, thank goodness," Mom lets out a breath sigh. "Let my boy out of this cell right now!"

Phil walks over to me, a sick grin on his face, and unlocks my door. "I'm going to need one of you to sign some papers in the back."

"I'll do it," Dad says. He walks over to the desk while Mom and I head over to the front of the station without a single word.

It doesn't take Dad long to sign the papers and before I know it, we're all heading home. When we get in the car, the interrogation begins.

"What were you thinking? Resisting arrest?" Dad yells.

"I didn't resist! He pulled a gun out on me before I even had a chance to blink!"

"Sweetie, why are you lying to us?" Mom asks, trying to diffuse some of the tension in the car.

"I am not lying to you guys! I'm telling the truth! Why can't you believe me! I'm your son!"

"But Mr. Swan is also the chief of police. Why would he lie to us?"

"I don't know! Ask him! But believe me, I didn't do anything!"

"That is enough, Edward! I'm sick and tired of you not taking responsibilities for your actions! Stop blaming your mistake on Chief Swan!"

"But –"

"I don't want to hear another word out of you. I can't tell you how disappointed I am in you right now." Dad practically screams at me.

"But, Dad…"

"I don't want to hear it, Edward." He sighs. "You're grounded until further notice. You go to school, football practice and then straight home. Nowhere else. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," I say, completely dejected.

"Is this about Bella, sweetheart? I know you two broke up. Is this your way of telling us that you're hurting?" Mom asks quietly.

"What? No! This has nothing to do with Bella!"

"I wish you would talk to us, baby. You've been acting out. This isn't like you, Edward."

I sigh in frustration and grab at my hair. "There's nothing to talk about!"

Mom sighs, but doesn't answer after that.

 _How can my parents think that this about Bella?_

 _How can my parents not believe me?_

 _Why would I lie about something like this?_

 _How could they do something like this to me?_

 _What can I do to make them realize that they're wrong?_

When we get home, I go straight to my room. I feel so rejected right now. How could my own parents treat me like this? It's like they didn't even want to listen to my side of the story. They just automatically assume that I did something wrong? How could they? I feel so betrayed right now.

I keep going over mine and Phil's encounter over and over again in my head. What did I do to set him off? What did he mean when he said that I took away his fun for an entire year? Is he talking about Bella? How did I take her away from him? What does he mean as Bella being his "fun?" Could this have something to do with all of Bella's lies and secrets?

My thoughts eventually tire my brain out into sleep, albeit a restless one at that. All I could think about was the way Phil got so mad at me for something so stupid and to think that Bella lives with him.

The next day, I get to school early. I just need to get out of my house and away from my parents. I stay in my car until the tardy bell rings before I go inside. When I walk in, I notice Bella favoring her left leg as she walks. She looks like she's having a hard trouble breathing too.

What happened to her?

I know Phil was extremely pissed off that he didn't get the chance to book me last night, and now Bella is coming to school with a limp and trouble breathing?

Is this the missing puzzle piece?

Is this what Jacob meant by "you don't know what goes on behind closed doors at Bella's house?"

 _Is this why she always lied to me and kept secrets from me?_

 _Is Phil abusing her?_

 _Why wouldn't she tell me? I could've helped her._

 _Just like you helped yourself to Tanya the moment that things started to get rough in your relationship?_

Yeah, no wonder she never told me anything.

I study Bella very carefully for the rest of the day. I don't get to see much because for most of the day she is holed up in the girl's bathroom. I do, however, get to see her on her way to Mr. Masen's class. She's still limping and I don't know what to do about it.

I don't have enough evidence to tell anyone if my theory is true, but I do have enough balls to ask my dad about it when I get home.

"Hey, Dad?" I ask warily. My parents and I haven't exactly been on the best terms as of lately, especially now because of this whole 'I just got arrested' thing.

"What do you need, Edward?" Dad asks, clearly frustrated.

"I was just wondering… How do you know if someone is being abused?"

I watch as his entire body freezes when he hears my words.

"Who do you think is being abused, son?"

"Well, I don't know. That's why I want to know what the signs are and stuff."

Dad visibly sighs. "I hoped you would never ask us these things." Dad pauses for a moment before continuing. "Signs of abuse can range from bruises on the body to flinching uncontrollably when someone gets too close to them."

I let that sink in for a moment. All of the bruises that I've seen on Bella's body over the past year… When we first met, Bella would always flinch if I tried to touch her or if I yelled… It's all starting to make sense. It's the only logical explanation, but why didn't she trust me enough to tell me?

By the time that Dad starts looking at me funny, I realize that I haven't responded to him yet. "Um, thanks for the information, Dad. I'm going to bed, goodnight."

I hear him sigh as I turn and all but run up the stairs to my room. "Goodnight, son."

I race to my shower and strip my clothes off.

I can't think about this right now. Bella is being abused by her foster parents, or at least her foster dad. Why didn't she tell me? Why hasn't she told anyone about this? Why is she protecting that monster?

 _Because no one would believe her._ The voice in the back of my head says. _Just like no one believed you last night. It's your word against an officer's._

Frustrated beyond relief, I get out of the shower and pull on the first pair of pants I see. I stick my hands in my pockets, out of habit, and find something inside of them. I pull it out and freeze when I see what it is.

It's a condom.

Specifically, it's the condom that Dad gave me in the elevator the night that Bella and I first made love.

Oh shit.

We didn't use a condom. Come to think of it, we never used a condom when we slept together. I know I always had the intent to, but I just always got too caught up in the moment to put it on.

How could I have been so stupid? Bella and I slept together countless times and I never remembered to wear a condom? I'm a fucking idiot, pun intended.

Oh, God. What about Bella? I mean, I know we were each other's firsts, so there's no chance of having an STD or anything, but there are other repercussions of having unprotected sex.

All thoughts of Bella being abused by her foster dad fly out of my mind at the thought of Bella being pregnant… with my child.

Is this what Tanya was talking about today at lunch? Bella is constantly in the bathroom. She has constantly been wearing the same baggy clothes over and over again to school, despite the entire wardrobe that I got her for Christmas when we were together. If she's pregnant, then they wouldn't fit anymore.

This all makes sense.

This could be another secret that she was hiding from me.

Is Bella pregnant?

The day of Emmett's party, that morning, Bella said that she wanted to tell me something but she couldn't. Was she talking about this? Did she think I was going to react badly to it? Did she think I was going to tell her to get rid of it?

The fact that I cheated on her some odd hours later probably didn't help the situation either.

I have to find out the truth. I have to know if she's pregnant.

The next day at school, before Bella has a chance to hide out in the bathroom, I grab her by the arm and practically tow her to a nearby supply closet. Once inside, I take my hands off of her and look her directly in the eyes.

It takes her a second to get her bearings back, but when she does, she freezes. Bella stares at me with so much pain in her eyes that it practically cripples me.

Not knowing what else to do, I look down and fiddle with my hands. I notice something on them and I take a closer look. It's blood. I examine my hands and note that the blood isn't mine, so that means it must be Bella's. I look up to ask her about it, only to find her trying to get out of the closet.

I carefully grab her by her shoulders and pull her back. "Hold on, Bella. I have to talk to you about something important." I coax, but it doesn't work. This time when I touch her, she flinches, hard.

 _One of the signs of abuse is flinching at close contact._ I can hear my dad's voice in the back of my mind. That in mind, I take my hands off of Bella and take a step back. I don't want her to think that I'm going to hurt her.

As I take in her appearance, I get back to the whole reason that I brought her in here in the first place. "Are you pregnant, Bella?" I ask quietly.

Her movements still. She looks up at me with confusion written all over her face.

Well, I guess I have my answer then.

When she doesn't answer after a few minutes, I gently grab her arm. Bella looks completely petrified and flinches and cowers away from me when I touch her. "Bella please. You can talk to me." I try again.

More flinching.

At some point during our encounter, I realize that if she wanted my help, she would have told me. I can't save someone who clearly doesn't want to be saved.

"Bella, please." I try once more, but it doesn't work.

The way she's looking at me right now… it's as if she thinks I'm about to brutally hurt her. Even though she knows, or at least she did know that I would never, ever hurt her.

I try to cup her cheek in comfort, but when she whimpers in pain, I back off. I walk out of the supply closet, leaving her in there by herself. I'm still slightly worried about her, but if she refuses to talk to me, I can't do anything about it. I don't want to scare her any more than I have today, either. She looked like a deer in headlights when we were in there together.

On my way out, Seth sees me and stops me. "What was that all about?" Shit, he must have seen me take her in there.

I try to play it off like nothing happened. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"It sure looked like you were checking up on her to me." His smirk is getting bigger and bigger by the second.

Annoyed by his assumptions, even if they are true, I say, "Yeah well fuck you and what you think."

"You still care about her, Edward. It's written all over your face."

I sigh and look down. "Look, the damage is done now. She's just not my problem anymore."

"You can still fix this, Edward. You can make this right. I know you want to."

"She hates me, Seth, and she has every right to, too. As much as I want to, I can't make this right. It's too late. I've lost her. I can't do anything to help her anymore." I say, defeated.

Seth sighs and walks away, clearly fed up with my mood swings.

I don't care what I just said to Seth. Even if she's not pregnant, I still need to do something to help her. She's always in pain. How can I take that pain away from her? How can I help her?

 _Pain pills._

That's it! I can give her my pain pills from my broken rib. I didn't use them all, so maybe Bella can. But how do I get her to take them? She would never accept them if they were from me or admit that she's in pain.

What if she didn't know who they were from? She'd probably take them then. If she's in enough pain, which she clearly is, she'd have to.

The next morning before school, I grab my pill bottle and rip off the label with my name on it. I grab a sheet of paper and some tape to replace the writing. On the paper I write, _Oxycodone is inside, Bella. Take one pill every four to six hours for pain. Take with water and do not take on an empty stomach. I hope this helps._

There. It's ominous, yet helpful. It's perfect. I just hope she'll actually take it. I stare at the container of pills for a few more minutes to make sure that I didn't miss anything.

Does she have plenty of pills? Yes.

Does she have a place to hide them? Yes.

Does she have access to water? Yes.

Does she have access to food?

I stop in my tracks. I never see Bella with food during school. When we were together, I always made sure I had enough food for the both of us at lunch, but now… I don't know.

Deciding it's better to be safe rather than sorry, I go downstairs, avoiding my parents, and pack Bella a sandwich. I put it in my bag and head off to school.

When I get to the parking lot, hardly anyone is here. Good. Then no one will see me do what I'm about to do.

I quickly get out of my car and head inside. I walk over to Bella's locker and swiftly unlock it. As I set the bottle of pills and sandwich inside her locker, I look around to make sure no one is watching me. For this to work, she can't know they're from me. She wouldn't take them then.

I hastily back away from her locker and head back outside to my car. I wait for everyone else to show up before I go back inside the building.

I watch as Bella opens her locker and sees the stuff I put inside. She immediately looks around her, suspicious of who would be helping her. I watch as she reads my note on the pill bottle with hesitance. She sighs and shuts her locker.

At lunch, I watch Bella to make sure that she takes the sandwich and pills. I make sure that she follows my instructions on the bottle. Relieved when she finally does take the medicine, I sit back and relax. At least I can do something good for her now.

If this is all I can do to help her, I'm going to do a damn good job at it.

 **A/N: Thoughts? Can we get up to 260 by Monday? Next up BPOV. See you next week!**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Surprise! Well, not really. This is an early update, not an extra one. I will be out of town next week and won't have access to wifi, so this is the chapter for then. I will update again on August 8.**

 **Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. TISSUE WARNING. Sorry for the short chapter! Next time is much, much longer!**

 **"'** **Gonna take this heartbreak, tuck it away. Save it for a rainy day." – Kenney Chesney**

Chapter 31

BPOV

April 2010

"Bella, can you stay after class for a few minutes? I need to talk to you about something." When he sees the reluctance in my eyes, he adds, "It's important."

I sigh and nod my head. I haven't really talked to Charlie since he pulled me out of the bathroom at the beginning of the semester. I just don't know what to say to him. There's nothing _to_ stay to him, which makes me wonder what he has to say to me.

When I get up to his desk, I can clearly see the signs of anxiousness all over his features. His eyes have bags underneath them. His hair is unruly, as if he's been running his hand through it multiple times. He has let his mustache and beard grow out longer than normal. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd be worried that he is sick.

After a few minutes of waiting, Charlie's eyes make contact with mine. "I've been meaning to talk to you more, Bella. I've just been so busy with work and everything. This year has just flown by right before my eyes."

 _At least is has for someone. These past few months have literally dragged on and on for me. I guess that's what happens when you're in a living hell._

Charlie takes a deep breath and tries to visibly relax himself for what he says next. "I got offered a job teaching British Literature at the University of Phoenix, Bella." He pauses for a moment before he continues, probably gaging my reaction to his words. "I leave during the summer. My last day here at Forks High School is the las day of classes, Bella. I'm moving to Arizona." He says gently, as if he's waiting on me to explode.

But I don't. I don't do anything. I don't react when he tells me he's leaving. I should have reacted when he told me that I'm about to be all alone in life once again. I should react, but I just don't.

Without a word, I turn from his desk and walk out the door.

"Bella, wait! Let me explain!" Charlie yells out as I'm opening the door, but I don't listen. I keep walking until I reach my bus. I ignore the distant yelling that I know is coming from Charlie. I know I should stop and listen to what he has to say, but I don't. I don't want to listen to what he has to say. He's leaving me.

I should have known better than to trust Charlie. I should have known not to let him in, and to talk to him about things. Because this is what people that you let in do, they leave you when you need them the most. It happened with my mom. It happened with Edward and Seth. It happened with Emmett and Rosalie. And now it's happening with Charlie. I guess I should've learned my lesson by now. Don't trust anyone. Don't talk to anyone. Don't let anyone in because all they will do is disappoint you.

I thought that Charlie, of all people, would never leave me. With everything that happened with his family and Robert, I thought that he would understand. I guess I was wrong. I should've listened to my gut and never talked to Charlie in the first place. If I never did, I wouldn't be hurting right now.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I don't even notice that I almost miss my stop to get off of the bus. When I see my house, pass by I quickly get up and make my way to the front of the bus. When the bus driver sees me, she immediately slams on her breaks which makes everyone and everything on the bus jolt forward. I hear a few complaints out of the rest of the students from the sudden stop, but not many. Most have already been dropped off anyway.

When I get inside my house, I am surprised to see that Phil and Renee are already home. I feel myself becoming more and more nervous with every step inside. Phil's almost never home this early, so something must be going on.

When I walk into the kitchen, I find them both sitting at the kitchen table, looking at me expectantly. "Where have you been, little girl? I've been home for thirty minutes and I still don't have anything to eat yet," Phil practically spits out.

What is he talking about? I just got out of school. How was I supposed to know that he would get off early today and that I had to cook for them earlier?

I see the anger rise in Phil as he takes in my confused expression. "What? You don't have anything to say for yourself, bitch?"

I gulp, but otherwise do not try to react to his question. Anything I do only spurs him on more.

When I don't say anything, Phil gets up and walks over to me.

 _Oh, no. It is time for my daily punishment._

Phil has been getting more and more creative in his punishments. He never does the same things twice and he makes sure to physically hurt me every day in some way. I really hope today isn't too bad. These past few weeks he's been really mean to my chest and ribs. It's so bad that I wake up coughing up blood on the floor. I just can't seem to catch a break.

The first thing Phil does to me, is hit me. He punches me as hard as he can in the face. I hear a sickening crunch sound when his fist connects with my jaw. I fall to the floor with the amount of force behind the throw. I don't bother getting back up because I know if I did, Phil would just knock me right back down.

I watch as Phil stalks over to me. He raises his fist high and then connects it with my shoulder, my face, my chest, my stomach, anything he could put his hands on really. Punch after punch, I feel myself slowly starting to go numb. I can't feel anything as I watch Phil repeatedly pounds his fist into my body until I'm a bloody pulp.

I don't know when I finally lose consciousness, but it's not long after Phil starts attacking me. Between my other injuries from Phil, the fact that I only eat one small sandwich a day and nothing else, and the amount blood loss from all of my other injuries, I find myself fading into the darkness a lot sooner than I would have if it was a year ago.

I wake up in a pile of blood on the kitchen floor the next morning. I don't remember when Phil stopped his assault on my upper body last night, but I can tell from the soreness everywhere that it must have been a while after I passed out from the pain. I begrudgingly get up and brush my teeth and get ready for school. I make Phil's and Renee's coffee without a second thought and head outside to wait on the bus.

When I walk in to school, I hobble over to my locker and open it. For about a month now, some mysterious Good Samaritan has been leaving a bottle of pain pills, Oxycodone to be exact, and some food for me in my locker every day.

I've spent countless hours trying to figure out who it could be, but every time I come up short of answers. My first thought was Edward. He always brought me food when we were together. Despite his recent interactions with me, I don't think it's him. He hates me. I know he does. I broke his heart, I deserve his hatred. Hell, I hate me for what I did to him too.

I also thought it could have been Charlie, but then I realized that he doesn't know where my locker even is, let alone the code for it.

Despite my constant thoughts about this person, I can never come up with someone who would even want to help me. I mean, I am the Freak after all. No one wants to be seen or associated with me at all costs.

As I start my morning walk to the bathroom, I hear the all too familiar clicking of heels on the floor walking behind me. Not wanting to have to put up with Tanya today, I turn in the closest corridor and start walking there. When I don't hear the sounds of Tanya's shoes behind me, I deem the hallway safe again and start walking back to the bathroom. As I am turning back down the hallway, I run into someone, causing me to fall to the ground.

"Watch where you're going, Freak! I mean, I know you're completely incompetent and all, but seriously! You have eyes! Use them for once and watch where the fuck you are going!" Tanya screeches out.

When I get off the floor and ignore her comments, she starts her verbal assault on me once more. "Why can't you just go kill yourself already? The world will be a better place when you do it!"

I gasp. Out of all of the horrible and nasty things that people have said to me over the past few months, no one has outright said for me to go kill myself. I can't help but feel utterly broken as she continues.

"Seriously, if you died today, you would be utterly forgotten. I treasure the time I don't spend walking the same hallways with you. I treasure the moments that I don't have to breathe the same fucking air as you do. I treasure the moments that you are gone from my mind. I am waiting for the day when you finally realize that you are a insignificant. I can't wait for the moment when you do kill yourself because everyone around you will be happy. So why don't you just do us all a favor and just do it already!"

I choke back a sob. Tanya has always been mean and cruel, but this is just pure maliciousness. How can someone say something like that and have the guts to feel giddy about it? What does she get out of seeing me suffer like this?

Not being able to stand being around her anymore, I quickly walk towards the nearest exit. Thankfully, she doesn't bother following me out.

When the fresh air hits me, it's like a reality check. Why don't I just do it already? I have nothing to live for. I would be doing everyone else a favor by just dying already. No one would even notice that I was missing. There's no reason for me to live anymore, so why don't I just go ahead and get it over with?

I don't have Charlie to think of anymore. He's leaving me. It was always bound to happen. I can never have anything good in my life. I always ruin it someway. I don't deserve to be happy. I think it's time to do the world a favor and end it.

This in mind, I start the walk home. No one would notice if I wasn't in the bathroom or class today. No one would care.

When I get home some two hours later, I am relieved to find the house empty. I really don't want to have to deal with Phil or Renee right now. I walk straight up to my room. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore.

 _Life really isn't worth living anymore._

With that one thought, my goal of killing myself is my top priority right now. But how to do it? I could cut myself until I finally bleed out, but that would take too long. I want this to be short and as painless as it can be. I've already suffered so much in my life, I don't want my death to make me miserable too.

I could take all of the Oxycodone pills at once and just overdose, but it's too risky. There's no guarantee that it would kill me, especially since I only have six or seven pills left in my most recent bottle.

I think for a few more minutes before the perfect solution hits me. The cliffs at La Push beach. They're high enough to jump off of and die, yet low enough to where I know I'm not going to back out at the last moment in fear.

 _When will I do it?_

It's too late and too far to do it right now. I could take the bus to school tomorrow and just walk from there, that way it wouldn't take me the entire day just to walk to the cliffs.

So it's set. Tomorrow morning, after I get off the bus at school.

The perfect plan in mind, I try to make myself busy for the last hours of my life. But then I think to myself, what do I have left to do? No one cares about me, except for maybe Charlie, but he's leaving me anyway so it doesn't matter.

Still, I find myself heading down to the kitchen in search of a piece of paper and a pen. I don't know why I'm doing this for him. I guess I just feel like I owe him some sort of an explanation as to why I would to this to myself, to him. I head back up to the confines of my bedroom and begin to write.

 _Charlie,_

 _I don't know why I'm writing this to you, I don't know why I'm writing at all. I guess I just feel like I need to say something to somebody. I want someone to remember me after I'm gone._

 _I want you to know how much I've appreciated you this past almost two years. You came into my life when I needed someone like you and you've been there for me ever since. I let you in, despite what my head said, and you have never made me question my decision to do it. Until now._

 _You are leaving me and I can't tell you how much you doing this is hurting me. Since the moment I've met you, you have always been by my side even when… Edward wasn't. You never questioned me or how I deal with things and you've never made me feel inferior to everyone else. You treated me not like one of your students, but like your own daughter and that's what I've come to think of us as. If I've ever had any sort of a real figure in my life, it would be you. And that's what makes you leaving me so hurtful._

 _You've been in my life for longer than anyone else has, and yet I'm still not good enough for you to make you stay. I know I should be used to it by now. Everyone that I've ever known ends up leaving me in some way. My dad, my real dad, left the moment he knew that my mom was pregnant. My mom left the moment that she realized that I wasn't worth losing her husband over. Edward left the moment that he found someone better. Now you're leaving._

 _I guess if Phil and Renee were good at anything, it was always being in my life. They were there for every hit, kick, burn, broken bone, and everything else that I received. They were always there to put me in my place. They never hesitated to punish me in any way. They were always constant._

 _But I can't take it anymore. I can't take all of this pain anymore._

 _I know people will see my actions as weak or selfish, but I'm not. Killing myself will be my one selfless act. I'm doing everyone a favor by leaving their lives for good. Or at least that's what they're going to think._

 _I truly am sorry, Charlie. It has never been my intention to hurt you by doing this. I never wanted to be another Robert to you, but this life… it's too much for me. I'm not strong enough to live in a world where I am constantly made fun of, beaten, neglected, and tormented. I've lived this life for sixteen, almost seventeen years. I've done the best that I can do._

 _One more thing before I stop bothering you for the rest of your life. Will you do a favor for me please? When I'm gone, tell everyone my story. Tell them how I've been brutally abused since I was born. Tell them how Phil hit me. Tell them how Renee sat there and watched and laughed when I would break a bone or bleed. Tell the cops, social services, tell Edward, just tell everyone. I want everyone to know how sick and twisted Phil and Renee are. I want them to suffer. I want them to feel the pain and suffering I have felt for the past thirteen years of my life._

 _Most importantly, tell everyone because I want to make this never happens to another kid again. Can you do that for me? I want them to be tortured in prison, not beating up another little girl. They deserve prison. They deserve everything that is coming to them._

 _Thank you for everything, Charlie. If I'm going to miss one thing about this world, it would be you._

 _Bella Swan_

After finishing my letter to Charlie, I find myself writing a letter to Edward. I don't know what instigated me to do it, he does hate me after all. I guess I just had so many things that I wanted to get out before my time here is up.

I quickly write my letter to Edward. Words just start pouring out onto the piece of paper. I didn't realize how much I still wanted to say to him. I only hope he actually reads it instead of just throwing it away. I need him to know and understand some of these things. I don't want to die knowing he hates me, so I hope that this letter will fix that. It holds all of the answers that he has been waiting for.

He deserves to know why I acted the way I did. He was always so kind and open to me and I took that for granted. Even though I was only a bet to him, I still wanted him to know that what I felt for him was real. He deserves that much.

Glancing at the time, I quickly finish writing my letter to Edward. When I'm done, I head downstairs and quickly prepare dinner for Phil and Renee. I make a simple fish fry and hurry back up to my room and wait for my daily punishment.

The universe must be rewarding me for my decision to kill myself because Phil never showed up. I anxiously stayed up the entire night just waiting for Phil to come home in a drunken haze to beat me, but it never happened. My last night alive and he finally decides to spare me. I roll my eyes at the irony.

The next morning, I quickly put on the same pair of jeans and shirt that I wear every day and walk straight out the door. I don't see or talk to Phil or Renee. I don't make them their normal morning coffee either. It's my little 'fuck you' farewell present to them.

I get on the bus and sit at the first empty seat that I see. Because I'm not actually going to any of my classes today, I don't have anything to carry on the bus, save my letters for Edward and Charlie. I don't know how I can give them their letter without giving away what I am doing. I know Edward hates me and couldn't care less if I went and killed myself, but a tiny part of me thinks that if Charlie knew what I was doing, he would try and stop me.

When we pull into the school, I thank my lucky stars that there is hardly anyone in the parking lot. This means that no one will see me put my letters to their respective places. I quickly walk inside and find Edward's locker. Since his car wasn't in the parking lot, I know he hasn't been to his locker yet. I know that this is the first place that he goes when he gets to school.

Looking around to make sure no one is watching me, I swiftly shove the letter inside of Edward's locker and make my way to Charlie's classroom. I peek inside of the window and note that he's not in there. I open the door, put the letter on his desk in a spot where he can see it, and walk back out.

Without any further things to do, I promptly walk back outside into the cold and make my way to La Push. I walk for a solid hour before I see signs of the cliffs and the beach. The hike up the cliff is a killer in itself. Due to my clumsiness, I trip over tree roots and rocks with every step I take. What a normal person could walk in about thirty minutes, I walk, and trip up, for an hour.

When I get to the edge of the cliff, I take a deep breath and look down. It's most definitely high enough to kill a person. The thought of having to jump down there causes me to stop in my tracks and think.

 _Do I really want to go out like this?_

 _What if jumping doesn't kill me?_

I take one more glance down at the water below.

 _Then the rocks will definitely finish the job._

 _Or the freezing cold temperature of the water._

 _I can die of hypothermia, right?_

With one last glance at the water, I close my eyes and begin to walk to the edge.

 _I guess this is it._

 _Goodbye, world._

 **A/N: Duh, duh, duh! This is it. Bella finally decided to kill herself. What do you think about this chapter? Do you think she made the right choice? What about her letter to Charlie? What about her letter to Edward? Thoughts on that? Next up EPOV. See you next time!**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope you guys like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. TISSUE WARNING.**

 **"** **How was I supposed to know she was slowly letting go? If I was putting her through hell, hell I couldn't tell. She could've given me a sign and opened up my eyes. How was I supposed to see? She never cried in front of me." – Toby Keith**

Chapter 32

EPOV

April 2010

Today is April 27. Exactly three weeks before the national playoffs. I couldn't be any less excited.

It seems like everything around me has become utterly pointless. All I can think about is Bella and how much she is hurting, inside and out. And here I am with a, theoretically of course, perfect life. I just want to help her in some way other than leaving a simple sandwich and pain pills in her locker. I want to show her that I care about her. I want to show her that I still love her. I want to beg for her forgiveness. I want to grovel at her feet until she lets me come back in her life.

But I won't do any of these things. She's in pain because of what I did to her. She hates me for what I did to her, or at least she should. I know I do. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for all the hell I've put her through.

I walk into school moments before the tardy bell rings. I rush over to my locker to shove my bag inside, but a little piece of paper falls out, catching my attention. I pick it up and begin reading it. Little did I know that this one little piece of paper would change everything.

 _Edward,_

 _I am so sorry for whatever I did to make you hate me. If I have one regret in my life, it's hurting you. You came into my life when I needed you the most, even if I didn't know it. You saved me in so many ways - physically, emotionally, mentally – the list is endless. I know I am not exactly the easiest person to know or to talk to or to even like, but somehow you made me feel wanted._

 _You meant everything to me. You were my best friend, my lover, my everything. I will forever owe you. I never told you this, but the day that I went to the hospital after I passed out in your arms in school last year, I was going to kill myself later that night. I was making the world a better place. But I didn't go through with it. I thought of you instead. You were the reason, I didn't do it that night. Every bone in my body was telling me to end my suffering, but my heart wouldn't let me. You have never known how much you mean to me until now and I am so sorry for that._

 _I am sorry I couldn't be a better person for you, no matter how hard I tried. I hope you get all you've ever wanted in life. I hope it brings you true joy and happiness. I hope that once I leave this place, you'll find someone who is good enough for you because I know I never was. I hope you never have to face all the hell that I have been through in my life. I hope your life is nothing but pure bliss from now on. You deserve it._

 _I know I was hurting you every time you told me you loved me. I knew it was killing you inside that I never said it back. The truth is, I've never felt loved before. I didn't know what or how it was supposed to feel like. By the time that I realized that you might actually love me, it was too late. I had lost you by then. I am so incredibly sorry for all the pain and misery that I have caused you in your life. I hope that now you can live your life the way I know you are capable of doing._

 _I know that us being together was a joke, a bet, whatever you want to call it. I know you never went out with me because you actually liked me, but whatever the reason, I'm thankful for it. For almost eighteen blissful months, I got to know the most amazing person in the world. I talked to him and I felt wanted, needed even. It was singlehandedly the most amazing experience I've ever had in my entire life. I can't thank you enough for it._

 _I can't even begin to tell you how much your companionship has affected me. You were the first thing that I thought of when I woke up. You were the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep at night. You were my reason for living. Everything that I did, I did it for you._

 _All the secrets and lies and deceit… I was trying to protect you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you ever got hurt because of me. If Phil had ever gotten ahold of you… I shudder at the thought. I hope that you will never know the cruelness of my world. Someone as amazing as you should never have to know about the brutality of the world that was my life._

 _Yet despite all of the horror that was my life, you still always put a smile on my face. You were always there, just waiting for me to open up to you. You don't know how many times I was going to tell you everything, but something always happened that made me stop and rethink my decision._

 _I realize that by not telling you about me is what drove us apart and I take all the blame for it. None of this is your fault. It's mine. Please don't feel guilty about me or any of this, that was never my intention. I hope you get everything you've ever wanted out of life. I hope you find someone who you can truly love and they can love you back. I hope you live out a long and happy life together. You deserve it. You deserve a perfect ending like that._

 _You were everything to me. All the good in my life came from you. From the moment that I ran in to you on the first day of sophomore year, I knew you were different. You were everything I could have ever asked for in a friend, in a boyfriend, hell in a person in general. You brought me to life, Edward. I was dead on the inside until that day that I met you. Then you walked into my life and I finally learned what it felt like to experience pure joy. It was utterly and wholly amazing._

 _I've never felt cared for until the day I met you. You and your family meant the world to me for the short period of time that I was with you._

 _My entire life, I had wished for someone like you to come into my life and save me from my own personal hell. All I wanted in life was someone to love me. I realize now that what you felt for me wasn't love, but I am still thankful that you made me feel the way you did. I realize now that the entire time we were together, I was nothing but a distraction for you. I was your play thing and then you got bored with me. However screwed up the reason was that you spent the time with me that you did, I will be forever grateful to you for it. I want you to know I don't blame you for anything. I'm not doing this because of you. I hope you know that._

 _I'm doing this for me. I can't continue living like this. It's not worth it. I've been so empty inside. I haven't felt like this since before I met you. I have nothing to live for now._

 _That day that you took me to the supply closet and ask me if I was pregnant, I don't think words can describe how shocked I was. When you first grabbed me, I thought you were taking me in there to hurt me where no one could see us, but once again you surprised me. To answer your initial question, no, I'm not pregnant. You don't have to worry about that. You don't have to feel guilty about something that will never happen._

 _I guess this is it. These are my final words to you. I truly wish you the best in life, may it be filled with joy and love. I hope you never know of the evils that I lived with for almost thirteen years._

 _You can tell the police where to find my body if you want to. In a matter of hours, I will be at the bottom of the water near the cliffs at La Push._

 _Thank you for giving me a little bit of happiness in my life. Thank you for everything. You were the one person in this world that ever acted like they cared about me and for that I will forever be grateful. Goodbye, Edward._

 _Bella Swan_

I feel my tears dripping down my face before I even realize that I'm crying.

 _She thinks I hate her?_

 _She honestly believes that I went out with her, that I made love to her as a fucking joke?_

 _She can't be serious._

 _I loved her, and I still do._

 _She's been in so much pain, more pain than I could ever realize._

It's not until I hear Seth's voice that I break out of my thoughts. "Um, Edward? Are you okay, man? You're kind of shaking."

"Bella's going to kill herself." I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Seth whisper-yells.

"She's going to La Push, the cliffs. She's going to jump and kill herself. She thinks I hate her." My voice cracks with every word.

"Then what the hell are we doing waiting around for? We have to go stop her!"

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go." My brain finally decides to kick in.

Seth and I literally sprint back to the parking lot, school not even on our radar right now.

 _I have to save her._

 _I can't let her kill herself, not after everything._

I push the accelerator on my car as far down as it will go. Seth and I are completely quiet the entire drive to La Push. Neither one of us know what to say. We just need to focus on saving Bella right now.

When we get into the beach territory, Seth and I jump out of the car and run straight for the nearest cliff. We run as best as we can to the top of the cliff. Despite our adrenaline and our superb hand – eye coordination, it still takes us about thirty minutes for us to get all the way to the top of the cliff. Huffing and puffing as we make our way to the clearing at the edge of the cliff, I gasp in relief when I see Bella's frail body hovering over the edge of the cliff.

Not wanting to scare her and make her fall, I nudge Seth and motion for him to be quiet. We slowly make our way to the edge where Bella is standing.

Careful not to startle her, I quietly make our presence known. "Bella, turn around."

I see her head perk up when she hears my voice, but she doesn't turn around. I try again, this time, I put a little more emotion behind my words. "Bella, baby. Please you need to listen to me. You can't do this. I need you."

I hear her scoff, but I don't get any other kind of reaction from her.

A few minutes pass by until she finally turns around. "No one needs me, Edward. I'm completely insignificant." Her voice is hoarse, probably from not using it for such a long period of time.

"Bella, please step away from the ledge. Let me help you. Talk to me, Bella. I can make everything better, I swear." I know she can hear the desperation in my voice, but I don't care. She needs to know that I still care about her. She needs to know that she doesn't have to do this.

Just like a flip switched in her mind, she turns around and takes another step closer to the edge. Instinctively, I follow her to where I'm a mere few feet away from her. Seth follows my lead.

"If I don't do this now, I'm not going to do it at all," she whispers. I barely have time to process her words before she jumps off the cliff.

Without a moment's hesitation, I take my jacket off and throw it at Seth. "Call 911! Now!" Then I jump in after her.

I'm airborne for a split second before I meet the icy water. On impact, I feel hear something crack, but I don't let it faze me. All I can think about is Bella.

I come up from under the water and take a deep breath. I look around to see if Bella resurfaced anywhere, but don't have any luck. I promptly go back underwater and search for her. I look around everywhere, but I can't find her small body anywhere. I go back to the surface and take another deep breath. I vaguely register that I can hear sirens in the background, but I don't think about that right now. If I can't find her right now, then those sirens won't mean anything.

When I go back under, I find Bella on a rock, unconsciously drifting with the waves. I make my way over to her as fast as I can and drag her to the surface. I start swimming to the shore as fast as I can. When I get there, I immediately check for signs of life. Her lips are a bluish purple color. I can barely find her pulse. She's breathing, but it seems labored. She has a giant gash on her forehead, probably from hitting the rock, so I rip a piece of my shirt off to stop the bleeding.

Suddenly cursing myself for not being able to warm her up because I'm soaking wet too, I try to wake her up so we could get to the ambulance faster. I do everything I can think of, but she just won't wake up.

After five more minutes, the ambulance pulls up behind us. The EMTs rush over to us. They immediately put Bella on a stretcher and contact the hospital on their walkie talkies. When one of them comes up to me and asks me to let him check me out, I refuse. "Take care of her. I'm fine."

The EMT gets this misty look in his eye, as if he knows what is going through my mind right now. "Son, you need to be checked on too. You were obviously in the water and if you're anything like her," he points over his shoulder where the rest of the men are loading Bella onto the ambulance, "you're going to need some serious medical help."

My heart sinks at his words. "Is she going to die?" My voice cracks on the last word.

"I don't know, son. We're going to do everything we can to make sure she lives, but we need to help you too. What good is it if she survives, but you don't? You obviously care about her."

I take a deep breath and nod my head. "I'll let you check me out," I pause and his face lights up, but I continue, "but only after she's in the hospital being taken care of."

The man sighs, but still nods. Together, we walk to the back of the ambulance.

I take Bella's hand in my own and squeeze it as hard as I can. I mentally will her to wake up, but to no avail. I feel tears running down my face for the second time today.

 _How could I have not seen this happening?_

 _How can I have let this go on for this long?_

 _Why did I have to be such an ass and avoid her for so long?_

 _She's lying, nearly dead, on a stretcher right now and it's all my fault._

I quickly get those thoughts out of my head. Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help Bella right now.

I have to stay strong for her.

When we get to the hospital, I all but sprint out of the ambulance alongside Bella. It's not until I see my dad that I stop.

"It's okay, son. She's in our hands now. We'll take care of her I promise." His voice is so calm. How can he be so calm about this?

"Dad –" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Go with Dr. Gerandy. You need to be checked out too, Edward." His tone leaves no room for an argument, so I begrudgingly follow Dr. Gerandy to a room and let him poke and prod at me for a few minutes.

Eventually, he says, "Well, Edward, I do believe you got out on the lucky end. It seems you only have a few scrapes and bruises, so you will be sore for a few days. I do also think you have re-broken your rib, but I will need you to get an X-ray to confirm my theory." It's at this moment that I finally realize that my chest feels like it is being stabbed repeatedly.

I huff, yet allow him to take me to the X-ray room. I end up waiting for about an hour for the results, but it does turn out that I did re-break my rib. Dr. Gerandy gives me a new bottle of Oxycodone and sends me back to the waiting room.

I wait for another half hour before I see my dad come down the hallway. "Dad, what's going –"

I don't get the chance to finish the end of my sentence before Mr. Masen and a lady with a badge come bursting through the front door. "I'm Special Detective Mackenzie Chandler. I need to speak with Dr. Carlisle Cullen immediately," the lady says with authority.

Dad steps forward. "I'm Carlisle Cullen. What's wrong?"

"I'm here to talk to you about the abuse report you sent to Child Protective Service about Isabella Swan."

My ears perk up at the mention of Bella's name.

 _Abuse report?_

 _So Bella really was being abused by Phil?_

 _This was the report that my parents were talking about when I first broke my rib?_

Everything seems to be making sense now.

"What about it? I got an email saying that it was an open and shut case. They said that here wasn't enough evidence to prove that she was being abused," Dad says dejectedly.

"Ah, that would be where I come in, sir. You see, before you sent in that report, the police station where Phil works at sent several reports to the state police department about, well for lack of better words, bad behavior on behalf of Phil. His own men believed him to be a dirty cop. These reports were enough to raise some flags and open up a state investigation on Phil Swan."

"So where does Bella fit into all of this?" I ask eagerly. Maybe Bella is about to get some justice.

Detective Chandler looks at me questioningly, "And where do you fit in with Bella?"

"I'm her boyfriend, or at least I used to be…" I trail off, but apparently my answer is enough because the detective continues.

"By the time that they started investigating Phil, we had received your report claiming that there are signs of physical abuse on Bella. This was enough for them to send me to investigate the situation in person. I emailed you back to try and get you to leave the investigation alone. You were getting too close. If Phil had become aware of the investigation going on around him, then we would have never gotten the proof we needed."

"What proof?" Dad asks.

"Well, I went undercover as Bella's social worker, Helen, to see if I could find enough evidence of abuse to get Phil and Renee thrown in jail for the rest of their lives. But I didn't find enough. Besides having a lack of clothing and basic necessities and her unwillingness to show me her arms, I didn't have enough. So I decided to play along with Phil when he asked if there was another way to keep this on the DL. I let him pay me three grand for my silence. Unbeknownst to him, he signed his jail slip when he signed that check. I drove all night back to my headquarters to show them what I got, but it didn't matter. My case was at the bottom of a list full of suspected child abuse. It wasn't until earlier today that I got the warrant to arrest those two son of a bitches."

"So you have already arrested them?" I can't help the excitement in my voice.

Detective Chandler looks at me. "No, not yet. I went to Bella's house this morning in hopes of rescuing her first before I made the arrest, but she was already gone. I went to the school to find her and that's where I ran into Mr. Masen here." She points to where Mr. Masen has been patiently waiting beside her throughout the story. "I was talking to the lady in the office, Mrs. Cope I believe, and he overheard me asking about Bella. It turns out she had given him a note stating that she was 'sorry she was doing this' and 'I'm sorry I can't be strong for you anymore, but the pain is too much.' Needless to say, when we couldn't find her in the school, we called the police department to see if Phil knew anything about where Bella might have gone, but he was out and no one knew where. I thought the worse and called the hospital and I'm thankful that I did. She had just been brought in when I called, so Mr. Masen and I came straight over. My plan is to arrest Phil and Renee when they get here to 'check on' Bella."

"When we called Renee, she said that it would be a little while before she could get off of work to come by," Dad pipes in.

"Then we'll wait."

Dad nods his head and begins to head back down the hallway, but I stop him from going too far. "Can I see Bella?"

Dad gives me the whole you – don't – get – special – privileges – because – you're – my – son, – you – know, but gives in anyway. "Don't take too long, Edward. She will be unconscious. She has a very severe concussion from hitting her head and hypothermia from being in the water for so long, amongst other injuries. She went into a coma when we tried to warm her body up. We don't even know if or when she will regain consciousness. You need to be careful with her, Edward."

I excitedly nod my head, not because of her injuries but because I get to see her, while Dad gives me the room number and I all but sprint to her room. I slowly open the door and look at my girl lying on the hospital bed. She looks so small and fragile laying there. As I make my way over to her side, I try to take in all of her injuries. Aside from the concussion and hypothermia, Bella's forearms are wrapped up in some kind of gauze. She has bruises all over her body, including her face. Her leg is back propped up and back in a cast. She has some more gauze over the gash on her forehead. She looks completely broken. I can't even begin to fathom the amount of pain that's she's in right now.

Needing some kind of anchor to remind me that she's still here and breathing with me, I grab her hand. I take a deep breath and let out all my emotions.

I begin to cry silently for the broken girl in front of me. Words can't even begin to describe how guilty I feel for everything that has happened to her. She's here, lying in this hospital bed, after an attempted suicide and it's all because of me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Bella," I whisper to her, even though I know she can't hear me. "I swear, I'm going to do everything I can to make this right. I will make this up to you, Bella. I promise."

I don't know how long I stay with Bella until I'm interrupted by the door swinging open. "What the hell did you do to my daughter?" Renee yells at me, Phil right behind her. I don't have a chance to respond before my dad, Mr. Masen, and Detective Chandler come in right behind them.

"You two are under arrest for child abuse and for bribing and officer of the law."

I watch as Phil's eyes go wide when he recognizes Detective Chandler. "You bitch! I thought I got rid of you!"

"If you do say anything, what you say can be used against you in a court of law." Detective Chandler continues.

"You have no fucking proof!" Phil wails.

Charlie steps up in front of Phil and says, "We have enough proof to put you two away for the next thirty years."

"Oh, yeah? You think a piece of paper is going to lock the police chief of Forks up?" Phil growls out.

"Yes, I do. Bella has verbally told me that you abuse her and she wrote this letter and put it on my desk this morning. It's in her handwriting and she signed it at the bottom. It has all the proof anyone needs."

"You have the right to consult with a lawyer and have that lawyer present during any questioning." Detective Chandler starts again before she is interrupted by Renee.

"Did I not just get a phone call saying that she tried to commit suicide? Doesn't that make her medially insane? To take care of an insane child requires a little extra force, you know."

"We are still unaware of what happened, Mrs. Swan. There is no need to jump to any conclusions," Dad declares.

Renee goes livid and turns towards Bella's unconscious body. "You little bitch! You could never do anything right! You tried to kill yourself and you even failed at that!"

In a flash, Dad moves around in front of Renee and punches her square in the jaw. I hear a stifled laugh from Detective Chandler and Mr. Masen as I try to stifle my own.

Phil and Renee simply glare at Dad while he sends me an embarrassed smile.

When she gets her composure back, Detective Chandler finishes her statement. "If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you if you so desire," and with that, she forces Phil and Renee out of the door and hopefully out of our lives for good.

Dad, Mr. Masen, and I follow Detective Chandler, Phil and Renee out the door. As soon as we all get out there, we are blindsided with flashes of cameras.

"Chief Swan, can you tell us what's going on?" One reporter asks.

"Mr. Swan, over here!"

"Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

 _Who knew that the chief of Forks and his wife getting arrested would be so scandalous?_ I chuckle lightly to myself.

As soon as I see Phil and Renee in the back of Detective Chandler's car, I go back inside to Bella.

 ****TCWT****

For the next few days, I don't leave Bella's side. I spend every waking moment trying to think of ways to get her to wake up. I silently will her to wake up, but nothing has worked.

By now, I'm sure the entire town has heard what's happened. With Phil's and Renee's arrest being on TV and the talk of a small town, I don't know how anyone could have missed it.

Right now, Seth and I are sitting together by Bella's bedside, not talking or anything. Our unsaid thoughts are only for Bella. He has come by every day since the incident just to check on her and so does Mr. Masen.

Both of our heads jerk to the right when we hear the door open. I smile softly when I lock eyes with my mom. "I brought you two some food. I figured you need it since you've been up here basically twenty – four seven for the past four days."

I smile and say, "Thanks, mom."

Mom does her best to smile back, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. She glances over at Bella and asks, "Any news?"

My smile immediately disappears. "No," I say softly. "Nothing."

"She'll wake up when she's ready."

I sigh, but don't respond.

Mom starts to walk out the door, but stops suddenly. "Oh, Edward. I almost forgot to give you this." She hands me a sheet of paper.

"What is it?"

"I don't know. It looks like a letter, but it was addressed to you. I found it on the doorsteps this morning."

I look at the letter skeptically. _Who do I know that even writes letters like this anyway? Other than Bella, of course, and I know she didn't write it._

"Um, okay. Thanks, mom."

"You're welcome, sweetie. Let me know if anything changes, alright?"

"Alright. Bye, mom."

When she is out the door, I quickly open up the letter.

 _Edward,_

 _I don't know how else to say this, so I'm just going to come right out and do it._

 _I'm sorry. I so unbelievingly sorry for what I've done. If I had any idea that what I've been doing would have this kind of reaction, I never would have done it. You've always been my best friend, you know? I guess I just got jealous of Bella, but I swear I never wanted to take it this far. This was all her idea._

 _I only wanted a fuck buddy. I didn't know I got a psychopath instead. She was obsessed with Bella and making her life miserable. Ever since Emmett's party from like two years back, I've been screwing her. I had no idea it would eventually lead to all of this._

 _She always told me this shit about Bella. I never thought it was true though, that is until now. I thought it was just a game. Like hide and seek, you know? I never wanted anything of this to happen and I'm so sorry that it did._

 _When Tanya first told me that when she was screwing James Hunter, Bella's neighbor, and he saw Bella get beaten up by her foster dad through the window, I thought it was a joke. She told me that we, James and I, should prank her and make her believe that she had some creepy stalker who knew everything about her. I thought it would be fun, but I never thought she would make us take it this far. Hell, the only reason I did it in the first place was so that I could keep screwing her. I didn't mean any of it, I swear to you. I never wanted any of this to happen._

 _The night of the party, I didn't want to do it, but she made me. She said it would be the only way you would go with it. I didn't want to drug you, but I just couldn't say no to her, you know? So, I did it and I watched as you became more and more unaware of what was happening around you. I saw the look on Bella's face as she walked on you and Tanya making out. It was supposed to be a joke. No one was supposed to get hurt, or at least that's what she told me. It was all her idea. I never meant for it to go this far._

 _We used to be best friends, you and me. We did everything together and then it just stopped when you met Bella. I guess that's another reason I did this. I wanted revenge. I wanted to see someone else suffer for me being left out and ignored. But I had no idea that it would come to this._

 _When Tanya told me that she told Bella to go kill herself, I didn't think that she would actually go through with it. I laughed along with Tanya as she told me how Bella ran out of the school with tears threatening to run down her cheeks. I fucking laughed at her and she actually tried to kill herself._

 _I know you were truly in love with Bella. I've known you for a long time and I've never seen you act the way you did when you were around her. For that, I am sorry. I never should have done the things that I did to her or to you. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I just thought you should know before I leave._

 _The guilt is unbearable. I can't live with myself anymore, knowing that I was part of the reason that a seventeen year old innocent girl tried to kill herself, and still might succeed if she doesn't come out of this coma._

 _After today, you'll never have to worry about me doing anything to Bella again._

 _I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry._

 _Jacob Black_

My eyes go wide as I read the last few sentences over and over again. Is he implying what I think he's implying?

Without a second thought, I turn to Seth. "Can you watch over her for a little while? I need to go check on some something?"

"Yeah, of course. Are you okay, Edward? You seem a little, I don't know, distressed. Is it about the letter? Who was it from?"

"Nobody. It's nothing probably. I just need to go. I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll call you if anything changes."

I run out the door before Seth finishes his sentence. Even though I don't want to leave Bella, I need to make sure that Jacob isn't doing what I think he's doing. I need to go check on him.

I speed out of the parking lot and make my way to Jacob's house. When I get there, I feel marginally relieved when I see his car in the driveway. I pull in behind it and quickly get out of my car. I practically run inside his house, not bothering to knock on the door.

"Jacob? Are you here?" I yell out.

The house is quite… too quiet. I walk into Jacob's room, and instantly regret it. Lying on the floor is Jacob's body, or at least what's left of it. There's blood everywhere. I look around to try and figure out what happened. I see a gun in his right hand pointing at his head.

He shot himself.

I can't help the gasp that comes out of me. I feel tears running down my face as I run towards Jacob's lifeless body.

"Jacob! Jacob, wake up! This isn't funny man! You can't do this to me! You've got to wake up."

I blindly reach for my phone in my pocket. I dial 911 quickly.

"Help me, please. There's blood and I don't know what to do. He isn't breathing. He had a gun." My voice is barely understandable. I keep choking on my sobs with every word. I vaguely register someone saying that an ambulance is coming, but I don't respond. I don't know how.

The most important person in my life just tried to kill herself and now the guy that I have been friends with since elementary school did just kill himself.

I don't know how I'm supposed to cope.

 **A/N: Do ya'll hate me yet? What do you think of Edward's reaction? Do you think he did the right thing by saving her? What about Jacob? Did ya'll expect that? DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE THING WITH THE SOCIAL WORKER/ CPS UNDERCOVER DECTIVE LADY? I know a couple of you guys were pretty mad when you read about her involvement a couple weeks ago. If you still don't understand, PM me and I will answer any questions you have. Renee finally got her dream of being on TV…haha. Any questions? Tell me what you thought with a review! Next up, BPOV!**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

 **"** **Who can say if I've been changed for the better but, because I knew you, I have been changed for good." – Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth**

Chapter 33

BPOV

April 2010

I don't know exactly what happened after I jumped. Seeing Edward coming closer to me on the cliff terrified me, so I panicked and jumped. I didn't want him to be there. He was supposed to just tell the police where to find my body, not try to stop me.

I remember how cold the water was when I first hit. I thought I would die right then and there from the freezing cold temperature, but I didn't. I remember sinking down to the bottom before I blacked out.

I thought I would be dead by now, but unfortunately for me, I'm not. Death isn't supposed to be this uncomfortable. I'm not in pain, per say, it's more like my body is just waking up from a ten year slumber.

My eyes are heavy. I try to open them, but I can't seem to find the strength to do it.

I hear a door open. Someone comes by my side and grabs my hand. I hear someone sniffling beside me.

 _Why is someone crying?_

 _Are they crying over me?_

 _Why would someone cry over me? I'm nobody._

I hear the person start to whisper. It's so low that I have to concentrate really hard to hear and understand what they are saying.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, Bella. I swear, I'm going to do everything I can to make this right. I will make this up to you, Bella. I promise."

If I had control of my body, I would've gasped.

It's Edward.

 _Why would he be here?_

 _Why is he sorry? Sorry about what?_

 _Make what right? He's done nothing wrong._

I want nothing more than to open my eyes and see him right now. I want to comfort him. Edward doesn't deserve to be crying over me. He's too good for me. I need to talk to him. I need to tell him this. He needs to know.

I'm interrupted out of my thoughts when the door slams open. "What the hell did you do to my daughter?" I internally cringe when I realize that that's Renee's voice. It's at this moment that I also realize that I am in a hospital.

I hear Phil's and Renee's loud and obnoxious voice come closer, and I immediately want to go back to the darkness. I want to die. I don't want to suffer anymore and as long as they are in my life, that's exactly what's going to happen.

I tune out all of the voices and go back into oblivion.

I don't know how much time passes before I feel myself waking up again. It could have been minutes, hours, or days and I wouldn't have known the difference. I try to open my eyes again this time around, and surprisingly, I am able to get them open.

I halfway expect Edward to still be by my side, but I quickly chastise myself for thinking like that.

 _He doesn't care about you._

 _He pities you. That's the only reason he was there on the cliff with you._

 _He doesn't love you._

To my surprise, I find Charlie sitting in the seat beside my bed instead of Edward. He's staring directly in my eyes. He blinks a couple of times before he says anything. "Hey, Bella. How are you feeling?"

I lift up my hand and move it back and forth in a way that says so-so. I don't feel great, but then again I never have. I don't feel any pain, but I just feel weird. I don't feel the pain that I thought I would be in from jumping off of the cliff.

Charlie nods his head and his face becomes serious. "I've got someone who wants to talk to you, okay sweetie?"

I don't know what he's talking about but I nod my head anyway, or at least I think I do. It's hard to tell considering I can't feel much. He must have gotten the point and left and a few minutes later he walks in through the door with Helen, the social worker that left me with Phil for a couple grand. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes and I guess Helen saw them too because in half a second she's comforting me. "Oh, Bella. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you the way I did, but I had no choice."

My expression must have given away my true feelings about her because she immediately changes her approach. "How about I start from the beginning?" I nod, still unsure about why she is even here. "My name is Detective Mackenzie Chandler of Child Protective Services of the State of Washington." I feel my eyes go wide. "That's right. I'm not a social worker, but I was assigned to your case, Bella." Detective Mackenzie goes on to explain how she found about me and why she had to play along with Phil so she could get the evidence she needed to arrest him and Renee. She told me about how much she hated leaving me with my abuser, but the quickest way to get me out of that house and away from them forever was for her to go back to her headquarters.

With every word, I find myself wanting to cry more and more. "I'm so sorry I had to leave you with those terrible people, Bella, but I want you to know that you will never have to be around them again."

My eyes go wide in joy and surprise.

Charlie decides to pipe in at this time, "Along with your letter to me, my statement, Dr. Cullen's report, and the check that Phil wrote Detective Mackenzie, we now have enough evidence to lock Phil and Renee up for the next thirty years without the option of parole on good behavior. You're free, Bella."

This time, I let my tears fall. This is amazing. It's finally happening. I am away from Phil and Renee. I'm free.

Days go by and I feel a little bit of my worries fade away in each moment. True to her word, Detective Chandler got Phil and Renee put away in a state prison for at least the next thirty years. That's one problem down.

Another problem is all of my injuries. When the doctor first came to see me when I woke up, he told me I was extremely lucky to be alive. He said that if Edward hadn't come in the water after me when he did, then I would've died within minutes. He said that I have a mild concussion, a fractured jaw, severe third degree burns on forearms that will definitely scar, a fractured rib, a mild case of hypothermia, and I re-fractured my leg. I have bruises and scratches covering over seventy percent of my body. He also said that I've been in a coma for the past five days. He said that he's never seen so many injuries on one person alive. He blamed that on the fact that Fork's population only consists of twelve hundred people. I think he was trying to make me laugh, but it didn't work. I'm in my own little world most of the time.

Since then, Charlie has come to see me and be with me for most of my days in the hospital. He's talked to me, patiently waiting on me to talk back, but I just don't have the will. He's still leaving me to go to Arizona. It's only a matter of time before I am alone in this world again. I don't want to let Charlie in just to have him leave me. I won't be able to take it.

Charlie comes in with Detective Chandler one morning right after the nurse gives me some more pain medicine. "How are you feeling, Bella?" Detective Chandler asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

Cutting right to the chase, Charlie starts talking. "Bella, we have something that we need to talk to you about."

I narrow my eyes at the two of them. What are they talking about?

This time, it's Detective Chandler who speaks up. "Bella, you'll be getting out of the hospital pretty soon and with your foster parents in jail, we've been trying to find you a place to go."

Immediately, my mind fills with apprehension as I try and come up with a place where I could go. I don't have anyone anymore. No one cares about me. No one wants me.

Charlie must have seen the fear on my face because he instantly takes his hand in mine, soothing me. "That's what we were wanting to talk to you about, Bella." I see Charlie take a deep breath before continuing. "The closest foster parents live in Seattle. They have six other children with them, so I was asking Detective Chandler to see if there was any way that you could possibly stay with me?" The way he says it makes it sound like a question. "I mean, I know you and everything you've been through. You know about me. I know you're comfortable with me. I just thought it would be perfect, you know? We could make our own little family…" he trails off.

I feel a smile on my face, the biggest smile I think I've ever made. I frantically nod my head in acceptance to Charlie's request.

I can't believe it. Someone actually wants me. Someone wants to be my family. I've never had a real family before. The sound of it makes me want to hug Charlie to death and never let him go.

Detective Chandler interrupts my inner giddiness. "Of course, there are some legalities that we have to think of first. Mr. Masen here isn't exactly a foster parent and since you're a ward of the state. The law says that you have to be placed in a group home or a foster home until you are eighteen."

My good mood instantly vanishes.

 _Just when I thought my life was going to be turning around._

Detective Chandler finishes what she has to say. "Although, in your specific situation, Bella, I do believe that I can pull a few strings." My smile creeps back onto my face. "It's the least I can do after what I put you through." Her expression becomes somber. "Bella, I can't tell you enough that I am extremely sorry for leaving you in that house with your foster parents. I wanted nothing more than to just take you with me so no one could ever hurt you again. I was always on your side and I'm so incredibly sorry that I had to make you believe that I wasn't."

Understanding floods through me. Although I hate what she did, I know now that she had to do it. To show her that I forgive her, I move my hand, the one without the IV, and place it on hers which was resting on my hospital bed.

Her frown immediately turns into a smile again.

"I was actually needing to talk to you about something, Bella. It's about you living with me. If you feel up to it, that is." Charlie says quietly.

I grin and nod my head enthusiastically.

Detective Chandler smirks at my reaction. "I'm going to give you two some time alone. Let me know about your decision, Bella. I'll make it happen."

Charlie takes a deep breath and begins. "About those legal issues that Detective Chandler mentioned earlier…" He takes another deep breath and looks me in the eyes. "I know you're only about a year away from being 18, but I was wondering if you would let me adopt you?"

My eyes go wide and my mouth drops.

 _What?_

 _Someone wants to adopt me?_

 _Someone cares enough about me to want to adopt me?_

I feel a round of tears come to my eyes. Charlie, surprised by my reaction, carefully pulls me into his arms the best he can and continues. "Can I take that as a yes?"

I nod my head the best as I can while I'm still trapped in his warm embrace. I squeeze Charlie a little tighter, ignoring the pain in my arms.

I've never felt so wanted before in my life and I never want this feeling to pass.

Charlie begins to stroke my hair and my back. "If my daughter was still alive, I would hope to think she would be exactly like you." I pull back and look at him in confusion.

 _Why would anyone want to be like me? I'm pathetic and awful and worthless._

Charlie must have read my mind because the next words out of his mind contradict the ones I have in my head. "You're strong and beautiful. You're smart and wonderful. You're such an amazing person, Bella, and you have such an amazing heart. You're everything that I could ever ask for in a daughter." I can feel more and more tears falling out of my eyes as I let his words sink in.

 _He really does care._

I quickly pull Charlie back into an embrace and don't let him go.

"I love you, Bella. I want you be my family."

I nod once more and whisper, "I want to be a part of your family too. I love you too, Charlie."

I never thought that the first time I said I love you, that I would be saying it to my dad. Because that's what Charlie is to me, he's my dad. He's the best person I could have ever asked to come into my life and fill this role.

A couple of weeks after my initial suicide attempt, the doctors tell me that I am free to go home. My heart fills with glee when I realize that home is now with Charlie.

 ****TCWT****

The day before Charlie and I are supposed to leave for Arizona, which is about three weeks after I got out of the hospital, I get a call from the person that I least expected to hear from.

Edward.

He asked if I would meet him at the small park in the middle of town. At first, I didn't want to go. I had already made my peace with him when I wrote him that letter. I don't want any more heartache in my life. It's just now starting to look up.

In the end, it was Charlie who insisted that I meet with him. He said something about giving him a chance to let him say what he as to say.

I smile at his advice and we make our way to the park. Because I am back on my crutches, Charlie insists that he has to accompany me everywhere I go. Whether it's to my bedroom, the store, or even to the park, Charlie is right by my side for every moment. I love it.

Charlie stays in the car when we arrive at the park. I slowly get out of his truck and on my new crutches and cast, I wobble to the lone bench on the other side of the park.

I'm by myself for about five minutes, then I turn to see Edward walking towards me, a small backpack in his hand. As he makes his way over to me, I take in his appearance. It looks like he hasn't slept for days. His eyes have bags underneath them. His expression is so defeated and exhausted, like he just lost the biggest battle of a war. He has a small scruff coming along his chin. He looks so… down. It's so awful seeing him like this. My first thought is to reach out and comfort him, but I restrain myself. He doesn't feel that way about me.

"Hey, Bella," he says quietly and takes a seat next to me.

I wave in response, trying to keep my expression impassive.

"I thought you weren't supposed to leave until the end summer?" I narrow my eyes at him and grab the sheet of paper that I brought from Charlie's.

 _Charlie thought that we should head on out as soon as I was well enough to fly. He said that there was just something about this town that he didn't like._

"Oh." was his only response. "I just thought that I'd have more time to see you before you left for good."

I didn't know what to say back, so I remain silent.

"Look Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything. The party, the shit that happened to you at school, everything with Tanya… it was completely uncalled for. I hate myself for what I did to you, Bella. You never deserved any of it. I was just so… so frustrated that you kept lying to me and I just exploded. I was so angry with you. I turned all the pain and suffering I was feeling into anger. I didn't want to feel anything, especially not that. Looking back now, it was totally ridiculous and pointless." I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

It takes everything in me not to tell him that everything is okay between us, but it's not. He hurt me, even if I deserved it. He broke my heart and I can't just let that go.

"I don't know if Mr. Masen told you or not, but I came to visit you every day that you were in the hospital. Well, at least when you were in a coma. Dad wouldn't let me come see you after you woke up. He said that you were too hurt and that you needed the rest. I fought him every day on it, Bella. I hope you know that. If I could, I would've given anything to be by your side the entire time while you were in that place."

I didn't know about that. I mean, I knew that he was there the day that I jumped because I heard him talking to me, but I didn't know about the rest.

"I'm happy for you, Bella. You're finally away from those terrible people." He pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. "Bella, why didn't you tell me that Phil and Renee were abusing you?" He asks carefully.

I sigh and start writing. I knew that this would come up eventually.

 _I tried so many times, Edward, but I could just never go through with it. I didn't know how you would react and honestly, I was scared for you. If Phil found out that you knew, he would have come after you and I couldn't have that. I didn't want you anywhere near you. I was trying to protect you._

I push the sheet of paper in Edward's direction. I watch as he reads it and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Okay, I guess I can understand where you are coming from with Phil, but what about Jacob and James? Why didn't you tell me about them?"

I quickly grab the piece of paper back from him. Now I'm the one confused.

 _What are you talking about? Jacob and James did something to me?_

Edward's mouth opens and closes a couple of times before words actually come out. "You didn't know, did you?"

I shake my head no.

"Jacob and James were the ones stalking you, Bella. They were acting on Tanya's wishes, but still," he sighs. "I wish you would've told me what was happening, Bella. I could've helped you." I look down to the ground in shame. "I tried to help you, you know. I put those sandwiches and the pain medicine in your locker. I was trying to help you without you knowing it was from me. I was afraid you wouldn't have taken it if you knew it was from me."

 _That was you?_

He nods his head. "I only wish I could've done more."

 _I realize that now. I'm sorry._ I write back.

"Stop apologizing, Bella! You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You've done nothing wrong," he nearly yells, clearly angered by my words. He takes a deep breath, calming himself before talking again. "At least you'll never have to see those people in your life ever again."

I smile softly at the thought. He's right.

"You know what happened when they got arrested?" Edward asks, trying to lighten up the mood. "When we walked outside your hospital room, there were cameras and reporters everywhere. I guess everyone wanted to know why the hometown police chief and his wife were getting arrested." He chuckles lightly.

 _Hmm. I guess Renee finally got her dream of being on TV._

Edward chuckles lightly at my response.

The backpack that Edward starts to move around on its own so I look to Edward for an explanation. He smiles and picks the bag up. "I, uh, got you a present." He opens the bag and pulls out a little German Shepard puppy.

My eyes go wide as I realize that he got the puppy for me.

 _What? Why?_ I write.

He looks at me sheepishly. "You said once that if you could wish for anything, you would wish for a dog so…" he trails off.

 _You got me a puppy?_ I write, still not believing him.

He smiles sadly, "Yes, I did."

Before I realize it, I throw myself at him the best I can with my leg and rib restraining me. I crush his body against mine as I let my tears flow freely down my face.

 _I can't believe he would do this for me. After everything we've been through… he still acts like he cares._

I slowly pull pack when I feel a wet nose brushing itself on my stomach, begging for some attention.

The smile on Edward's face is so big, bigger than I've seen in a long time. "I kind of already named him for you," he says sheepishly. "I named him Scamp."

'Scamp,' I mouth.

He smiles and nods his head. "I guess that's everything then. I hope you live the rest of your life beautifully, Bella, just like it was always supposed to be. I love you," he whispers. He stands up and then bends down to kiss my forehead. "Goodbye, Bella."

As I watch Edward walk away, I realize somethings I should've realized a long time ago. Edward truly does loves me. I wasn't some game to him, it was real. Everything he felt for me was real. It's an amazing feeling to be seen by someone you respect so deeply and to be loved and cherished. I had never really been cherished in any kind of relationship before him, and it feels… it's the best feeling in the world and I love it so much. I am a fool to let him go. He gave me Scamp and just left. I should've stopped him. I should've told him how I really feel, but it's too late now. He's gone and out of my life forever.

 **A/N: Edward is so freaking sweet. I want an Edward and a German Shepard puppy. Let me know what you think about this chapter! Only a few more to go! Next up, EPOV! See you next week.**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Thank you so much for your concerns about my well-being when I was gone, it meant a lot. I'm so sorry for not getting this up on time, but life has been so crazy and I completely forgot to post it! I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Updates from now on will take a little longer for me to get up because I am always so busy. Sorry!**

 **"** **Now the only way I know that can get you off my mind, to keep a bottle so close, try to leave it all behind…" – Kane Brown**

Chapter 34

EPOV

August 2010

Every night, I wake up in a cold sweat from the nightmares. It's the same ones over and over again. Each time I see Jake's lifeless body in his room or Bella's unnaturally cold body in my arms. I keep reliving the worst moments of my life and I don't know how to stop it. Every night gets worse and worse and each time I find myself back there in those terrible places.

It seems like time has flown by. These days, I hardly get out of my house for anything other than school, and even then it's a struggle.

It's been a while since I've been around people. After the incident with Bella and Jake back in April, my parents decided that I should spend the rest of the school year doing work from home. I didn't protest. Life has been… hard these past months to say the least.

After I found Jake's body, the police and the EMTs rushed in and took me out of there as fast as they could. I was questioned about Jake and the letter he sent me right before he died. My parents found me soon after. They took me home and I didn't come out of my room for almost a week.

I had just lost everything. I lost my best friend. I lost my first love. I don't even know how I managed to do anything for the longest time. Everywhere I went, everything I did, reminded me of them. I would see their faces on everyone else.

Every waking moment, I think of Bella and how she's doing in Arizona or I think about Jake and how he died. I can't not think about it. It's literally controlling my life and everything in it.

I can't talk to my parents about anything, they wouldn't understand. They look at me with such pity in their eyes, I feel like they're just waiting on me to breakdown again, but it won't happen. I won't let anyone see me like that ever again. Ever.

I remember walking into school on the first day and getting completely bombarded with questions about football. Out of all the things that have happened in the past year, Jake killing himself and me finding the body, Bella trying to kill herself and then moving to Arizona with Mr. Masen, Tanya completely denying she had anything to do with the stuff that Jake wrote in his suicide letter, and me not coming to school for the last month of junior year, this is what they ask me about. These people are all so shallow. Jacob died and all they could ask about was football. Bella tried to kill herself and then was hospitalized for nearly a month, and all they could think to ask about was football.

So, I quit and I basically yelled at anyone who came near me for the entire first month of school.

Coach Clapp and the team were pissed as hell, but in the end, it was all my choice. After everything that's happened in the past few years, football is the least of my concerns. Every day I am somehow reminded of Bella or Jake. And every day, I feel guiltier and guiltier about what happened.

 _Why didn't I see all the signs before Bella tried to kill herself?_

 _Why did I have to do all those things to her last year?_

 _Why didn't I try to help her more?_

 _Why didn't I pick up on the fact that she was being abused by her foster parents sooner?_

 _Why didn't I stop Tanya and Jake from tormenting her during school?_

 _Why didn't I say something to Jake about him being with Tanya?_

 _I should've known something was up with them._

That's just it.

I should have known.

But I didn't.

I could have done so much, and yet, I didn't. Instead, I watched as the two most important people in my life, fell apart.

My parents always ask how I'm doing, but they are too scared to ask for details about what happened those few days. I don't know how to, nor do I want to, explain to them that I'm the reason Bella tried to take her own life and why I was the one to find Jacob's dead body. It's too deep and I just can't stand the thought of reliving those moments more than I already do.

I've shut everyone completely out of my life in just a matter of a few months. I don't want to burden everyone with all of my shit.

My parents say I need to talk to somebody about everything, like a professional.

I don't need to talk to a damn therapist. I'm fine and I can deal with all of this myself. I pretend to be happy when I'm around my parents so they can stop thinking that I'm fucking depressed.

In only four months, my entire life has completely turned upside down.

 **September 2011**

School comes and goes, same old people, same nightmares plaguing my sleep. I can't get a break anywhere.

I am walking into the guidance office to ask about one of my classes, I run into a girl, completely knocking her on her ass. A flash of déjà vu hits me when I realize this is basically how I met Bella.

Coming to my senses, I reach down and try to help the girl up, but she brushes me off. "Get your nasty hands off me, asshole. Watch where you're fucking going next time, too!" the girl yells.

I stand there shocked for a moment. No one has spoken to me like that since everything that happened a couple of months ago, they didn't dare to. Yet, despite being called an asshole, it's kind of refreshing having someone not walking on their toes around me all the time.

I look into the girl's unfamiliar eyes and am surprised when I see fiery blue eyes staring back at me.

"I'm sorry." is all that I can manage to get out.

"Wow, pretty boy, I didn't think I would leave a guy like you speechless on my first day here," the girl chuckles out.

I half way smile back in response.

The girl sticks her hand out towards me, "I'm Kate. I just moved to Forks a couple of weeks ago."

"Edward," I reply, grabbing her outstretched hand, and shaking it.

"Good. Now that the awkward part is over, you can walk me to my first class, Edward. It's AP Statistics with Mr. Birdie. I'm sure even a pretty boy like you can manage to walk the new girl to class for the first day, right?"

I roll my eyes and lead the way to Mr. Birdie's classroom. When we get there I follow Kate inside, much to her surprise. "What?" I ask, genuinely confused.

She smirks at me. "I guess I didn't think that the first pretty boy that I met would be smart too."

It takes me a moment to realize that playful tone in her voice.

 _She's flirting with me._

I narrow my eyes at her.

"What?" She asks innocently, batting her eye lashes at me.

"I'm not interested," I say flatly.

Her lively exterior disappears immediately. "Neither am I, dickface. I have absolutely no interest in you. I didn't think talking to a guy automatically makes them think I want them," she all but spits out. And with that, she moves to the other side of the room. I don't even get the chance to say anything to her before Mr. Birdie starts teaching.

The entire class period, I feel completely awful about the entire encounter. She wasn't flirting with me; she was only trying to make a friend on her first day of school. I feel like such an asshole.

As soon as the bell rings, signaling the end of class, I rush over to Kate. "Look, I didn't mean to come off as such a –"

"An egotistical jerk who thinks with his dick instead of his brain?" she finishes for me.

I sigh, slightly offended at her comment, but I nod in agreement anyway.

Kate narrows her eyes at me. "You know when to shut up. That's good. Someone must have trained you well."

"Trained me well?" I lift my eyebrow in confusion. I have no idea what the hell she's talking about. I'm not a fucking dog.

"A girl, duh. There was once a girl in your life who taught you how to treat and react to a girl. She must have done a damn good job at it too. I can tell."

I unconsciously flinch at the mention of _my_ girl.

Kate notices and looks at me funny. "Shit, I'm sorry. Bad memory?"

I don't know what makes me react the way I do, but the second the words are out of her mouth, I feel myself break. Tears begin rolling down my cheeks and it's like I have no control over my body anymore. It's the first time someone has asked me that and not had this judging tone in their comment.

"Oh fuck. You're crying. You're hot! You're not supposed to be crying! Holy shit, we have to get out of here before someone sees you." Kate grabs my arm and pulls me outside until we reach a bench on the back side of the school.

Sobs rack my body. They're uncontrollable. I keep thinking that Kate is going to leave at any moment when she finally realizes how much of a wuss I really am. I mean, I'm crying in public for fuck's sake.

What could have been hours pass by and Kate stays with me on the bench until I finally calm down enough to talk. "I'm sorry."

She snorts. "For what? Crying? It's natural, idiot and based on the fact that it's been three hours since we first got out here and you've been going at it no stop, I think you needed a good cry." She pauses and then continues, "You want to talk about it?"

The sincerity in her voice is what makes me pour my heart out to this complete stranger. I tell her everything, from meeting Bella, to falling in love with her, to losing her, to her almost killing herself. I told her everything and she sat quietly and listened.

When I ended my story, she let me calm down once more before speaking. "I can't even begin to understand the amount of pain you're in right now, Edward."

I chuckle humorlessly. "I don't know why I just told you all this. I haven't told anyone this before," I whisper. We're both quiet for a moment until she speaks up.

"Come on, let's go eat. I'm starving."

I take a deep breath and swallow my tears and follow Kate back into the school.

When we first walked in the lunchroom, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. It's the first time that I've been around someone other than Seth since everything happened. They're faces say it all; they're completely stunned. The fact that my face is probably all red and puffy from crying earlier doesn't help the staring either.

I keep my head down as we make our way through the cafeteria to find a place to eat. I pull out my sub sandwich and slowly start to eat. Kate pulls out her own lunch and we sit quietly, enjoying our meals.

Our peaceful silence doesn't last long. In a matter of minutes, Tanya comes up to our table and starts talking. "Aww, look who it is. Edward and the new girl in town. Do you have some kind of fetish for people who aren't welcome here? First Bella and now this ratchet bitch. It's becoming a habit, Edward. Why don't you come sit with me like you did at the end of last year?" She asks innocently, as if she doesn't understand why I don't sit with her anymore.

Before I have a chance to lash out at Tanya, Kate gives her a piece of her mind first. "Okay, listen here you little two – faced slut. I don't care who you think you are, you don't fucking talk to somebody like that. I don't care what the rest of the school thinks about you, but I've been here for four hours and I already hate you. From what I've heard, you're nothing but a manipulative, fake bitch who thinks she can get away with anything because her daddy is some big shot lawyer who has a shit load of money. Well, newsflash, that's not true.

"We all know the real reason you're such a bitch to everyone is because you're trying to make up for the fact that nobody will like you if you're not constantly putting other people down. You think that just because people laugh along with you as you say shit about someone else, that they like you. Well, they don't! They only want you to not say anything to them too.

"You don't have any friends and if you look around, you would see that you're completely hated by everyone around you. So, why don't you do us all a favor and leave everyone the fuck alone for once."

Tanya's face is priceless. I can see her face scrunch up in anger and embarrassment and so can the rest of the cafeteria.

When Kate finishes her speech, Tanya stomps out of the cafeteria while everyone else applauds. Kate playfully takes a bow and then sits back down beside me. "Maybe that'll teach her to fuck off."

I chuckle lightly, something I haven't done in what feels like such a long time. When I speak again, I genuinely mean the words coming out of my mouth. "I think we are going to be great friends, Kate."

Her smile when I say this, makes a grin break out on my face for the first time in forever.

 **December 2010**

These past few months have been better. Kate's helped a lot. She's an amazing person and a great friend. I am slowly starting to feel like myself again. She's literally bringing me back to life.

The best part of being friends with Kate is that there's never any pressure there. It's kind of what I felt like with Bella, but not on a romantic level. I could never, and I mean never, have more than a friendship relationship with Kate. She's too good a friend and definitely not my type.

In the little while that I've known her, she's easily become my best friend. Everything is just so easy with her. I find myself able to talk to her about stuff that I thought I would never be able to talk about with someone. Stuff like Bella and Jacob and even Tanya. I tell her everything and I have never once felt like she's judging me. She seems to genuinely care for me as a friend.

It goes the same way with her. She tells me everything and holds absolutely nothing back, although sometimes I could go without certain explicit details.

After everything that happened with Bella and Jacob, I never thought I would find somebody who truly cared and wanted what's best for me until I found Kate. She's everything I could ever ask for in a best friend and I can't imagine going through anything without her ever again.

 ****TCWT****

Kate and I are driving home from school one day when out of the blue she says, "I think you need to go to therapy."

I all but slam on my breaks when I fully comprehend what she just said. "Why the hell would I need to go to fucking therapy?" My parents haven't even bothered to bring that subject up in months.

"Because the shit you've gone through, left you seriously fucked up, Edward," she says, her voice no more than a whisper.

I roll my eyes at her. "I know, but that doesn't mean I want to go pour my heart out to some fucking stranger."

She raises her eyebrow at me. "How the hell do you think we became friends?"

I roll my eyes at her once more. "I told you already. I don't know what came over me that day. You said something that made me think of Bella and I just completely lost it. No one had said one word to me about her in months, I didn't think about what I was doing, I just reacted."

Kate chuckles at my explanation even though she's heard it a million times. "I know, I know. I just love to see you get all worked up over something. But anyway, I seriously think you need to consider going to therapy, Edward. It could really do you some good."

I roll my eyes at her once more and reply, "Whatever, Kate," effectively ending the conversation.

When we get to my house, we promptly go to the kitchen to get some snacks and start heading back to my room. As soon as we get to the stairs, my mom pops in from the garage and says, "Edward, sweetie, you have some mail. It's from the University of Washington… from the football coach that you talked to last year about playing there…" she trails off.

I huff and go get the mail. I don't even look at it or think twice before throwing it away. Football hasn't been a part of my life in almost one year and I plan to keep it that way.

I can hardly even remember the talk with that coach too. It happened right after everything with Bella and Jake went down… I wasn't in the best state of mind at that point in time. All I remember is the coach, Coach Burnham, practically begging me to come play for him. He offered me a full ride scholarship and everything, but I told him that football wasn't a priority at that particular moment and I haven't heard from him since.

I make my way back up the stairs while Kate just stairs at me, flabbergasted. "What?" I ask, nonchalantly.

"You're not even going to look at it? You're just going to throw it away? What if it was a scholarship? What if that coach really wanted you to play for him?" She asks, pointedly.

I roll my eyes at her antics. "I already know what it is and what it says. I just don't care. Football isn't a part of my life anymore."

Kate huffs and I leave her behind to go to my room. A few minutes later, she follows me in and plops down on my bed beside me.

"Dear Edward Cullen," she begins. "I am hoping that my letter to you will help you in your important decision about college this up coming school year. I realize that we haven't talked since your team won the national title without you last year, but I am still hoping that you will consider my offer in becoming a Washington Husky. I realize that back then, college football was not on your mind, but I am hoping you have had time to think through your decision carefully and reconsider it. I believe that you will be an amazing asset to the University of Washington, as a football player and a student. I have complete confidence that you will be able to find your home here as a husky. I am willing to offer you a full athletic scholarship for all four years if you agree to play for us this coming fall. I would love to hear from you and talk with you about any questions or concerns you have about my offer. Sincerely, Coach Burnham."

When Kate finishes reading the letter, she slaps me as hard as she can across the chest.

"What the hell was that for?" I ask while rubbing the now sore spot on my chest.

"Why the hell would you not accept his offer? This coach sounds like he really wants you and he's willing to pay for your entire college! Why the fuck wouldn't you go?" she roars.

"Football just isn't a part of my life anymore," I say mechanically. It's the same answer I gave my parents, my friends, my coach, and my school when they asked me the same question.

"Like hell it isn't! From what I've heard about you and football, this is something that your life has revolved around for forever."

The mood in my room goes from taunting and teasing to serious in a split second. "That's because I found something better to make my life revolve around," I say quietly.

Kate's face drops. "You mean Bella?"

I nod.

"Edward, I understand how much she meant to you and that she was your first love, but you have to get over her somehow. I know it's not going to be easy, but I think this is what's best for you."

I take a deep breath and try to hold in my tears. "I know. I just miss her so much. She was my entire life for two years. I hate being without her. I hate not knowing how she's doing. I just wish I could see her, how she's doing one more time. I need to."

Kate rubs her hand up and down my back in comfort. We don't say another word; we don't need to. The silence is comforting enough.

After a little while, Kate starts talking about how ridiculous she feels. Surprisingly, she makes the hole in my chest that Bella left when she went away, seem not so big anymore. She helps take the pain away.

A few minutes of mindless chatter later, Kate's voice becomes serious again. "Promise me that you'll at least go talk to the coach about this. I don't want you to give up what could be an incredible opportunity because you're heartbroken," Kate says firmly while hitting me once more in the chest. The playful mood that I've become so familiar with surrounds us once more.

"Okay! Okay! I'll talk to the coach! Just stop fucking hitting me! It hurts!" I say, laughing the entire way through the pain. For a tiny girl, Kat sure can pack a mean punch.

 **March 2011**

I never thought I would see the day when I had my name written on the back of a football jersey again. Yet, here I am, at my college football signing. I never thought I would be able to say that after I quit senior year. I mean, who wants a player who sits out his senior year of high school?

Well, that's Coach Burnham for you.

After Kate lectured me about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life that day when I got the letter from Coach Burnham, she's been riding my ass about the future. It's like every other second she's getting me to think about college and my career and the rest of my life.

In her own way, I know she's just trying to help, but with every thought about the future, all I can think about is Bella. I want to know how she's doing. I want to know where she is. I want to make sure that Mr. Masen is treating her right. I want her to know that I loved her, I still do, and always will. I just wish I could get one answer as to if she was okay or not, but I know that's never going to happen. I know I have to move on with my life.

That's why I took Coach Burnham's offer.

That's why I'm playing college football.

That's why I let Kate convince me to bring football back into my life.

I have to move on somehow, and this is my first step in doing so.

Kate's by my side the entire time during this process. She's helping me and guiding me on all of my decisions. It's like she's the only one who truly understands and wants what is best for me. I can't thank her enough for it too. She's the best friend I could ever ask for.

As I sign my name on the dotted line, saying that I agree to play football for the University of Washington, I hear cheers from my family and "friends." I hear whoops and hollers, but it doesn't mean a thing. Playing football at UDUB is only going to be a distraction for the next four years, and it better be a damn good one.

 **May 2011**

After months of Kate's constant pestering and my parent's incessant pity filled stares, I decided to go see a therapist and try to get over some of the shit that's happened to me. It's a long shot, but since everyone seems to think that this is the way to go, I guess I need to give it a shot.

From the moment I step into the therapist's office, I find myself feeling oddly calm. There's just something about this place that makes me feel at peace, something I haven't felt in a long time.

When I stepped into Dr. Carmen's office, I didn't expect anything at all. I am only coming here to appease Kate's constant nagging about me needing closure.

When it was finally my turn to go back to talk to Dr. Carmen, I had it in my mind that I wasn't going to actually say anything. My appointment is only for an hour, so all I have to do is wait the time out. Well, at least that was my plan. It didn't actually work out that way.

There was something about Dr. Carmen that made me open up to her and tell her everything that has happened to me, starting at Alice's death and ending with Bella leaving for Arizona.

Throughout the entire time I was talking, Dr. Carmen was taking notes. I don't know if that should have bothered me or not, but it did make me stop and think about everything I am telling her.

When I finally finish, Dr. Carmen takes a deep breath and says, "Well, Edward, I can honestly tell you that you have a very unique situation here," she chuckles lightly, trying to ease some of the tension in the room before she speaks again. "The first thing I want you to know is that you're not alone. You have never been alone. You have gone through so much in so little time, I can't imagine how hard all of this must have been for you."

"It's sucked," I say lifelessly.

"I bet it has. Grieving for so many people at one time is always hard."

"Grieving? Isn't that what depressed people do? I'm not fucking depressed. I'm perfectly fine," I spit out.

 _Who is she to tell me that I'm depressed? I'm perfectly fucking fine. I've just been a little out of sorts lately. It's no big deal. I can get over this in an instant if I needed to._

"I never said you were depressed, Edward. I only said that you were grieving. You've been through so much during these past few years, you have to grieve for all your losses. I know you don't want to hear this right now, but it's going to get easier once you finish grieving. I will be there every step of the way to help you and guide you when you need it."

Getting frustrated at Dr. Carmen, I go to walk out the door and as soon as I touch the handle, she says something that makes me stop in my tracks.

"Everyone grieves in their own way, Edward. So far, you've shut everyone out of your life as a way of dealing with it. I promise that if you stick with me, I will do everything I can to help you get through this grief. I can't take your pain away, but I can help make it easier to deal with. It will only go away when you're ready. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of things you've gone through these past few years, but I promise that you are not and never will be alone. Based on what you've told me, you have people in your life that you can talk to. You just have to let us in."

I take one more look at Dr. Carmen, nod at her, and continue to walk out the door. I don't stop to think or do anything until I am pulling into my driveway at home.

When I walk inside my house, I head straight to my room. I lay in bed for about an hour, just digesting everything that happened in the past few hours. When I finally feel like being productive, I get off my bed and head to the shower. Ten seconds later, I feel hot water running across my back. It feels so good to just relax and feel like I'm not about to completely breakdown from everything that's happened.

I grab the soap and start washing my body. When my hand comes in contact with my dick, it immediately shoots up, eager for some attention. I haven't been with anyone since the last time I made love to Bella, so my dick has been feeling really neglected lately.

I sigh and place my head on the shower wall. I firmly grip my dick and begin to pump, slowly at first because it's been so long, but soon enough I find myself jerking rapidly. All I can think about is the way Bella's tiny hands would rub my dick slowly, sensually when we were together. I remember wondering what it would feel like to have her pouty lips wrapped around my –

And just like that, I'm done. Just the thought of Bella like that gives me everything I need to finish the job.

I sigh and quickly wash my hair and get out. I go back to my room, now ready for bed, and lay down. I try to mentally prepare myself for the nightmares to start as soon as I close my eyes, but they never come. Throughout the entire night, I only have peaceful dreams, well more like memories, of Bella and I back when everything was perfect.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I slept through the entire night without a nightmare, disruption, or bad thought troubling my mind. Maybe this therapist thing won't be so bad after all.

 **A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed it! What do you think is going on with Bella now that Edward is completely out of her life? What do you think about how Edward is reacting to everything he's gone through? I'm sorry if this chapter seemed kind of rushed, but I'm trying to move things along to the end. Also, I do not know when I will be able to post again because my schedule is so hectic, but as soon as I get time, I will put chapter 35 up!**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Slight tissue warning. Note the date at the beginning of the chapter. I am so sorry for not being able to update sooner! Life has been kicking my butt lately. Here's a long chapter to (hopefully) make up for it!**

 **"** **What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stand a little taller. Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. What doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter. Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone." – Kelly Clarkson**

Chapter 35

BPOV

November 2010

"Today is the day, Bella."

"I know," I whisper.

"You know you don't have to tell me today if you're not ready. We go at your speed, remember? I don't want you to feel like you're being pushed into something that you don't want to do."

I shake my head. "No, I need to get this out. I need to tell someone, Dr. Eleazar. I don't want to hold it in any longer."

Dr. Eleazar, my therapist, nods his head encouragingly and waits patiently for me to begin my story.

"I don't remember that much about my dad, but from what I do remember, I wasn't missing out on much. He was a deadbeat drunk. My mom on the other hand, I remember everything about her. I have her hair and her eyes. I was the spitting image of her. Everyone thought we were perfect for each other and my mom laughed along side them as they said it, but I knew the truth. She hated me." I take a deep breath and do the breathing exercises that Dr. Eleazar taught me to do on my very first appointment.

The first thing that happened when Charlie and I got settled in here in Arizona was finding me a therapist. I think Charlie was just as surprised as I was when I agreed that I need to talk to someone about all my problems. And surprisingly enough, I've enjoyed going to therapy. Dr. Eleazar is great and has helped me tremendously since I began seeing him.

After a few minutes of steadying my breathing, I continue my story about why I stopped talking in the first place. "My mom hated the fact that I ruined her life. I screwed up her body, her money, her friends, everything. She never said the words outright, but I could see it in her eyes and her actions. One night, it was my birthday actually," I chuckle humorlessly and continue, "she just got so sick of me and decided to 'accidentally' knock over a couple candles around the house and then left for work. I was turning four years old that day. I was sleeping in her room when I smelled the smoke. I woke up in an instant and tried to find my way out of there.

"It was so hot and I couldn't see. I could barely breathe. I was literally in a fiery hell. Eventually, the neighbors noticed the house up in flames and called 911. They got to me in time, but I did suffer from smoke inhalation. The doctors told me that if I wanted my vocal cords to go back to normal, that I would have to refrain from talking or making any noise for a month.

"So that's what it started out as. They told me unless I wanted to permanently damage my vocal cords, I had to be quiet for a while. It was only a month. I never intended for it to last for nearly twelve years."

I hear Dr. Eleazar gasp in shock. "You went twelve years without saying a word?"

I smile sadly. "I never had a reason to speak until recently."

Dr. Eleazar writes something down on his notepad and gestures for me to continue with my story.

"When my mom was questioned about the fire, she blamed it on me. She said that I was a reckless child and ran around playing with things that I didn't have any business playing with. When the police didn't believe her, they took me away from her. They didn't want me to live with someone who clearly didn't care for my well-being. I'll never forget the words that came out of her mouth when they told her that I was going to be placed in foster care." I feel the tears prick the back of my eyes as I relive this story all over again. "She said that it was about damn time someone took me off of her plate. She wanted me to be someone else's problem. She walked away from her daughter without a second glance." I choke back a sob and continue. "It's the first memory I have."

It's a while before Dr. Eleazar says something. He's probably trying to digest all the horror I just told him. When he does eventually speak, I am completely amazed by what he tells me. "I am so proud of you, Bella."

My eyes go wide as they meet his. "What? What are you talking about?"

"You've come so far, Bella. You're so strong, probably the strongest person I know. You've been through so much throughout your life and you've overcome it all. You are an amazing young woman. You've grown so much already since you first came to me almost four months ago. Your progress is unbelievable. You're talking openly and all the time, not only to Charlie and I, but to your teachers and friends at school. You've opened up to me and Charlie. It's wonderful. You should be proud of yourself."

"I don't know what to say…" I trail off.

Everything he is saying is true, even I can't believe it. Ever since Charlie and I made the move out to Phoenix, I've become a completely different person.

For starters, I'm healthy for the first time in my life. I am well-nourished and fed. I don't have any broken bones or bruises from anything other than my normal clumsiness. I actually started going to a gym to work out. After being so broken and so weak for so long, I decided I needed to change. I never want to feel weak and helpless ever again, so not only am I mentally stronger because of therapy, I'm physically stronger too.

Not only am I healthy, I'm enjoying my life. In school, I have friends – Bree Tanner, Riley Biers, and Emily Shepard. They're the best friends that I could ever ask for. They don't question me about my past, yet they were there for me when I needed someone during my transition to this new school. In fact, school is amazing here. I'm doing really well in all of my classes.

I've learned to let people in and I've never felt happier because of it. I feel loved, which is the most amazing, yet still somewhat unfamiliar, feeling in the world.

I don't know how long I spend thinking and processing his words, but eventually Dr. Eleazar smiles at me and starts talking again. "That right there, that smile is exactly why you don't need to come see me anymore. You are perfect on your own now. You don't need me anymore. I've given you everything that I can to help you, now it's up to you to do the rest." The smile on his face is so genuine I think I might cry from it.

Uncharacteristically, I fling myself off the couch and over to hug him. "Thank you."

I can feel his smile on the top of my head as he replies, "You're welcome, Bella. You will go far in life; you just have to believe that you can. I believe in you. Charlie believes in you. Even Mr. Edward, who I know you don't like to talk about, believes in you. Don't forget about it."

I smile sadly and nod my head. I know he's right, even if I don't want to believe him. In these few short months, Dr. Eleazar has taught me so much. Stuff that I will use for the rest of my life and I can't be more grateful for him.

I give him one more glance before heading out the door to my car. Another thing that I've accomplished since I got down here is learning how to drive. Charlie even bought me this perfect old 1964 red Chevy truck to drive.

I smile when I see Scamp waiting for me in the bed of my truck. He starts wagging his tail when he hears me approaching. "You ready to go home, boy?"

Scamps incessant assault of licks on my face is enough of an answer for me. I quickly let him down, out of the back, and lead him to the passenger side of the truck. Once we both get in, I call Charlie on my new cell phone and tell him that we'll be home in twenty minutes.

Ever since I left Forks, my life has completely turned around. From Charlie to Mr. Eleazar, to Scamp and school, every moment of my new life has been completely amazing. This is how life should have been from the start.

I don't have to worry about being hit every time I walk inside my house; Scamp is always there waiting for me and we wait together until Charlie gets home from work. Instead of me rushing to fix dinner for Phil and Renee before they get home from work every night, Charlie and I make dinner together when he gets home each night. Of course, our first few tries at making something together were disastrous, but after a couple of weeks of trying, we have it down. It's an amazing feeling to come home and feel loved.

On every weekend, Charlie and I take Scamp to the dog park. It's become our little family tradition. We go there and walk, sometimes run, Scamp around the park. Edward was right about Scamp being a loyal dog. Ever since we took him to the park the first time, he has never strayed from my or Charlie's side. He's the most loyal companion that I've ever had, well, besides Charlie.

Other than spending time with Charlie and Scamp in a different environment, it's nice to go outside and be active for the first time in my life. The entire time I was with Phil and Renee, I always felt so weak and vulnerable. At school, I was always the easiest person to pick on. That changed the moment my body completely healed from my time in Forks. I started to work out. Over the past few months, I've become less pale and scrawny and more tan and muscular. I am, by no means, a body builder, but I do have a nice layer of muscle on my body. It makes me feel really good about myself, something I haven't been able to feel in well, ever.

Another thing that has changed since living with Charlie is the fact that I have an actual life. I don't mean going to school, then home and then to bed like in Forks. I mean an actual life filled with friends and fun. Leah, Riley, and Bree are the most amazing people that I could've asked to come into my life. They are everything anyone could ever want to have in a friend.

We go out every weekend and do something new. We go to movies, the mall, the skating rink – which I found very odd because it's hot as hell in Phoenix – basically anything. We always have so much fun together and the best part of it is, I never have to worry about money and not having any. Charlie gives me a monthly allowance so I can go out and do these things. It was so weird the first time it happened – I think we were both a little embarrassed that day – but we got over it quickly.

We do that a lot. We have awkward little moments that neither of us have ever encountered before, but we always end up laughing it off.

I pull into my driveway and Scamp and I rush out the car and to the door. Charlie is standing inside the door, waiting on us to get home so we can make dinner together like always. I crush myself into his awaiting arms and he kisses my forehead. "How'd it go today?"

"It went well, actually. I told him everything… He said that I don't need to see him anymore… that he'd done all he can do to help me and now everything else is up to me."

"That's great, Bells. I'm so proud of you."

I smile into his chest and nod my head. I let go of him and walk over to the kitchen counter. "So what are we making tonight?"

"I was thinking chicken parmesan? You said the other day that you wished we cooked more Italian food, so I thought this would be a nice start."

I smile at his thoughtfulness. "It sounds wonderful. Let's get started."

We cook our chicken parmesan as we tell each other about our day. When we finish cooking, and sit down to eat it, Charlie looks at me with a goofy grin on his face.

"So, Bella, what do you want for Christmas? It's only a month away, you know."

"Christmas? I haven't really thought about it…"

"Well, start thinking, Bells. I need to start shopping for you before everything is gone."

I bite my lip out of habit and reply. "Okay, I guess I'll start thinking of some stuff?"

Charlie nods and we go back to our normal conversation.

The next week, Charlie and I go shopping for Christmas decorations. We bought everything even remotely Christmasy. Everything from a tree to lights to inflatables for the front yard ended up in our shopping cart. I don't think I've ever spent so much money before in my entire life.

When we get home, we hang everything up and decorate our entire front yard with everything Christmas. The more we spent doing this, the more excited I got about Christmas. Since I've never had a traditional Christmas before, I honestly didn't know what to expect when Charlie asked me what I wanted for it. But now that I think about it, the more excited I'm getting.

 **December 2010**

On Christmas Eve, I could hardly fall asleep. This is my first time experiencing Christmas with a family. I can barely wait to see the look on Charlie's face when he sees what I got him. With my allowance, I was able to buy him several things that I know he will love. I also got Scamp a new collar and some chew toys.

Eventually, I find myself drifting off to sleep. The next morning, I wake up to Charlie lightly tapping my shoulder. "Wake up, Bells. It's Christmas."

The smile that appears on my face is unreal. I hurriedly go through my morning routine of brushing my teeth, hair and washing my face and run downstairs, Scamp right on my heels.

The sight before me is magnificent. The tree is lit up with lights that we hung weeks before. The fireplace is lit and warming up the room. The presents overflow the tree. The stockings hanging over the fireplace are stuffed to the max. The smell of hot chocolate engulfs the room.

 _So, this is what a real Christmas is supposed to feel like._

My mind briefly flashes back to the mini Christmas that Edward gave me two years ago, but I quickly shove those thoughts out of my head. I haven't let myself think of Edward in a long time. He caused me so much pain, but at the same time he was the first person that made me feel wanted.

When I feel the tears prick the back of my eyes, I know that I've thought about him too long.

I smile as I see Charlie lounging in his chair, grinning from ear to ear at my reaction to everything. Instead of going straight to the presents like a normal person would, I run straight to Charlie. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes and I let them fall down my cheeks.

"I can't tell you how much I love you, Charlie. Everything you've done for me, everything that's happened since I met you… I don't think I would be alive today if it weren't for you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can't thank you enough for it."

My confession made Charlie choke up a bit. He pulled me into his warm embrace and kissed me on the head. "You've kept me going for so long, Bella. You mean the world to me. You're the epitome of what I would've wanted my daughter to be when she would be your age. I love you, Bells."

I bury my head in his chest and hug him tighter. We stay connected like this for a few more minutes until Scamp tries to join us. He nudges his way in between our legs, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the floor. Immediately, Scamp is on top of me, attacking me with his tongue like his life depended on it.

I giggle and push him off of me. Charlie helps me up and we make our way to the Christmas tree. We open our presents for the next two hours after.

Christmas with is nothing like I have ever experienced before. It was so sweet and peaceful. The gifts he gave me were so thoughtful. I loved the way it made me feel inside. When Charlie opened my presents to him, the look on his face as unforgettable. He seemed so in awe of what I got him. It wasn't even much, at least not compared to what he got me, but he loved it all the same.

 **March 2011**

The moment the thought of prom entered everyone's minds, I knew I was in trouble. Since we came back from Christmas break three months ago, all anyone can think or talk about is prom. What dress am I going to wear? Who am I going to ask? What if someone wears the same dress as me?

All of these questions completely engulf the school and I'm over here in the corner with my book. Honestly, I never cared to go to prom. I'm too clumsy and the only person that I would want to go with isn't here.

I push those thoughts out of my head and make my way to my first class. I sit in the middle of the room with my friend, Riley, right beside me. Riley is a good-looking boy who is about 6'4, tan, fit, and completely sweet. There is absolutely no amount of meanness in him. He was the first friend that I made here in Phoenix. He walked right up to me and walked me around to my classes all day. He's most definitely the sweetest guy that I've met here.

"Pssst, Bella."

I roll my eyes at him and turn to my side to face him. Class hasn't started yet so I didn't feel the need to whisper like he did. "Yes, Riley?"

"Oh boo, you're no fun," he says in a normal voice.

I chuckle a little and then he continues. "So, I was wondering what you were doing Saturday night?"

I think for a moment and then reply, "Nothing, why?"

Riley pulls something out of his pocket. "I have two tickets to this thing and I was wondering if you would want to go with me?"

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "What thing?"

Riley flashes me a giant smile and says, "Prom."

I felt my face drop. "Riley, you know I don't –"

"Yes, yes, I know you don't like me like that, but I figured we could still go… as friends… to prom…" He gives me his puppy dog eyes and pouty face that he knows I can't say no to.

I try to turn away and hold my ground about this, but I just can't resist that face and he knows it. "Ugh, alright. I'll go. But when I end up tripping over my own feet and break a leg, you better be the one taking me to the hospital."

Riley's face breaks out into this shit eating grin as he says, "With pleasure."

I roll my eyes at his antics and turn towards the front of the class.

During lunch, I get bombarded with questions and plans from Leah and Bree.

"So what color dress do you want?"

"When are we going to have time to go shopping?"

"We have to get our nails done and hair too!"

"We have so much to do and so little time to do it! Riley, why did you wait this long to ask her?" Leah screeches.

Riley just looks at her sheepishly and shrugs his shoulders.

I laugh it off while mentally preparing myself for the torture of shopping that will have to be done over the next couple of days.

The days leading up to prom are a complete blur. In just a matter of four days, I got a dress, a hair appointment, a pair of shoes, my nails done, and mentally prepared myself for going to prom. It was all very… refreshing. I'm actually worrying about normal teenager things for the first time and it's exhilarating.

I have convinced myself that tonight will be fun. I will not think about my clumsiness or how awkward my pale skin probably looks in this midnight blue dress. I will have fun tonight.

Riley comes to pick me up precisely at eight o'clock. Charlie insists on taking photos, so we awkwardly stand together as he takes them.

Eventually, Charlie has his fill and let us go. Riley drives us to the high school gym, where prom is being held, in relative silence. It's not awkward, but it's not exactly comfortable either.

When we walk inside the gym, I immediately find Leah and Bree in the corner together. I walk over to them and we gush over how we all look. We take some pictures together and then we separate into our respective dates – Bree with a boy named Marcus, Leah with a boy named Paul, and me with Riley.

Riley and I stand together and ease ourselves into a nice conversation. This is what I like about Riley – he's such an easy-going person. He's always really good at keeping the conversation going too.

After about an hour of just mindless chatter, the song changes from upbeat to slow. I catch Riley's eyes and I instantly know what he's going to say next.

"Would you like to dance, Bella?"

 _Damn it._

I inwardly grimace, but I give him my best smile and take his outstretched hand.

He leads me to the middle of the dance floor. He puts his other hand around my back and pulls me so close to him that I can feel his breath on my lips.

We don't talk as we dance. I'm too focused on trying not to step on his toes and my dress while he's too busy staring at me. His gaze is too intense and I'm not prepared for the reaction that it's giving me.

All I can think about is how close we are to each other. I haven't been this close to a boy, other than Charlie of course, since Edward.

Edward.

So many emotions and memories flood my brain at the thought of him.

 _His eyes._

 _His laugh._

 _His smell._

 _His lips._

I chance a look up at Riley to see if he's noticed my spacing out. Thankfully, he didn't, but he's still staring at me like we're the only two people in this gym right now.

 _Edward used to stare at me like that._

 _Would Edward and I have ever gone to prom?_

 _Could it be possible that he could have been the one dancing with me right now?_

It's like I'm lost in a daydream. I'm seeing Edward. Edward is the one who is dancing with me right now. Edward is the one who is my date to prom. Edward is the one who is slowly leaning in to kiss me.

 _Wait. What?_

I snap back to reality right when Riley's lips graze mine. I pull away and push him back on the chest. I feel the traitorous tears falling from my eyes as I stare at Riley.

I try to say something, but the words get stuck in my mouth. I turn around and leave Riley in the middle of the dance floor.

 _What just happened?_

Riley just kissed me. I should be happy; he's an amazing guy, so why do I feel so guilty?

 _Because it's not Edward._

 _You wish it was Edward kissing you on the dance floor at prom night, not Riley._

At this revelation, the tears come down harder.

I make my way outside the gym and near the edge of the school property. I just need to get away from everything so I can think.

 _Am I ever going to get over Edward Cullen?_

A few minutes later, I hear footsteps behind me. I wait to see if Riley was going to say anything, but I end up beating him to it. "I'm sorry. I just can't," I say without giving him any other sort of explanation.

"Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have tried to kiss you. I know you're not ready for that kind of thing now."

I chuckle humorlessly. "Why are you so nice? Why can't I like you?"

 _Why can't I think of anyone else, other than Edward, in a more than friends way? How am I supposed to get over him? To move on from him?_

Riley smiles weakly at me. "Because you're in love with somebody else. It's written all over your face."

"I'm sorry," I apologize once again, not knowing what else to say.

"Come on. Let me take you home," Riley says softly.

I look up to him with an apologetic expression, but let him lead me back to his car.

The ride back home is pretty silent until Riley pulls in my driveway. I figure I should probably say something about my behavior from the night… give him some sort of an explanation. "I'm sorry I was such a crappy date."

Riley rolls his eyes. "You weren't a crappy date."

"We didn't dance, like at all."

"You weren't in the mood. It just wasn't your night. I get it. And for what it's worth, the guy you've been thinking about all night, he's got to be pretty special."

"I'm sorry, Riley."

"Don't be. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Riley."

I walk to my front door and then on up to my room. The entire time I'm thinking about Edward. What would've happened if it was him that took me to prom tonight? What would've happened if I had stayed in Forks? What would've happened with us? Would we be together right now? Or would I still be the pathetic little girl who was tricked into falling in love with Edward Cullen?

The image of Edward Cullen is the last thing I remember before going to sleep that night.

 **May 2011**

"Despite all the odds that were stacked up against you, Bella, you did it. You are officially the valedictorian of Phoenix High School Class of 2011."

I can't help the gasp of shock that comes out of my mouth when I hear those words. When Mrs. Young, the guidance counselor for the class of 2011, called me into her office this morning, I didn't know what to expect, but I definitely didn't expect this. I knew that I had good grades, I always have, even back in Forks. But this? Valedictorian of a three thousand student graduating class? There has to be some mistake.

I guess Mrs. Young got tired of waiting for my reaction, so she spoke again. "I know this must be very surprising to you, considering that you've only been here for one year. But with your outstanding academic performance, there was hardly any competition. I mean, the salutatorian has a full point lower than you in terms of your GPA."

"I – I don't know what to say…" This is completely mind blowing. I never, even in my wildest dreams, thought that I could be in the top of my class, let alone the valedictorian.

Mrs. Young continues talking, despite the lack of conversation on my end, "This was also mailed to the school earlier this week. It's from the University of Washington."

Now that caught my attention. Ever since we moved down here, Charlie has been putting the idea of college in my brain, something I never dared to let myself dream of before, and I know I didn't apply to any schools anywhere near Washington or back home; I didn't want to.

Realizing that she was still waiting for a reaction, I speak up. "I didn't apply there. You must have the wrong student," I say quietly.

"I don't," she replied firmly.

"That doesn't make any sense, though. I didn't apply there. I don't want to go there. I never want to go back there. I hate that place. I would never –"

"Bella!" She interrupted me.

I look at her.

"I applied for you."

"What? Why? When? How? Wh –"

"The day that you came in here and I helped you apply for the University of Arizona, I took the liberty to submit the same application to a couple other schools, including the University of Washington. I thought applying to other schools would be a good idea. One of those don't put all of your eggs in one basket kind of things."

I could feel myself openly gaping at her. "Why would you send an application to _there,_ though? After everything that happened…" I remember the first time I walked into this office. I was scared and broken. Charlie was with me and he explained everything that happened in Forks to Mrs. Young. I remember the look on her face when Charlie told her about my failed suicide attempt; it's not one that you can forget easily. That initial conversation will always be burned into the back of my head.

Mrs. Young breaks me out of my thoughts, "Bella, I know how you feel about that place, but I also know how far you've come since coming here. You've completely blossomed here and I think, no I know, you're strong enough to be able to face your past… if you want to. I would never force you into something that you weren't ready for, but Bella, you are tougher than you know. You could do this if you wanted."

I sit there and ponder everything she just told me. I had gotten my acceptance letter to the University of Arizona almost two months ago and I was completely set on going there, but now…

After a few minutes of silence, Mrs. Young speaks up again. "At least take the packet you got in the mail, Bella. There's no harm in just taking it and looking over it. You don't have to make your decision right now; you have some time to think about this. I don't need to know until Friday. Please, just give it some thought, Bella. I want you to realize what you're capable of by yourself." I stop in my tracks at her last comment. I don't know why, but that just really grabbed me. I walk back over to her desk and cautiously grab the packet and leave her office.

 _Could I really go to school in Washington? Back where everyone in Forks is? Could I face them?_

I'm not the same girl that I was back them. I'm not weak anymore.

 _They're always going to see you as weak._ A little voice in the back of my head says.

 _No I'm not._ I say back.

 _Prove it then._

I stop in my tracks. Prove it? How would I prove it?

I shake the thoughts out of my head and make my way to my truck to go home.

Later that night as Charlie and I are cooking dinner, I bring up what happened with Mrs. Young today. "So, I got called out of class to go to the guidance counselor today…"

Charlie doesn't react much to my statement. "Why?"

"Uh… well… I'm kind of the valedictorian for my class…" I trail off.

That got his attention. Charlie drops the bowl of mashed potatoes that he was stirring. A broad grin crosses his face. "Are you serious?"

I give him a small smile and look down at my feet.

"That's amazing, Bella! I always knew you were smart, but I didn't know you were _that_ smart." Charlie walks around the kitchen and over to me. He pulls me into his arms in a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you, Bella. I always knew you had it in you to succeed in whatever you wanted."

"Thank you, Charlie. It means a lot to me." I wait a few minutes before letting go and finishing what I started. "Mrs. Young also gave me something else…" I let go of Charlie and walk over to my backpack.

"Oh?"

I take a deep breath and hand the packet from the University of Washington to Charlie. "Mrs. Young applied for me… I had no idea and I don't know how I feel about it."

Charlie takes the packet from me and examines it. "Have you opened it yet?"

"No. I was waiting to see what your reaction was first."

"Do you want to open it, Bells? You don't have to if you don't want to, you know."

"I know… I've been thinking, though and I think I want to at least open it."

"Let's do it then."

I nod my head and start tearing the paper off. What I see inside surprises me. First off, I read the letter from the admissions department.

 _Dear Bella,_

 _Congratulations! I am very pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the University of Washington! We were very impressed with your transcripts and think that you would fit in very nicely here. With your outstanding academic performance throughout your high school career, we are ready to offer you a full academic scholarship._

 _As a member of the Class of 2015, you will join a dynamic student community in a place of endless opportunities. UDUB offers an unparalleled setting for the next chapter of your life._

 _The competition for admission was particularly rigorous this year, as our freshman class of 2,350 was carefully chosen from nearly 22,000 applicants. We were impressed by your academic achievements and believe strongly in your potential for continued success. You are a remarkable individual, and we are confident that you will make a lasting contribution to UDUB and to the world._

 _Our namesake envisioned a great university in one of the nation's biggest cities dedicated to preparing future leaders. UDUB students uphold his legacy of intelligence, integrity, and creativity as they pursue academic excellence. The opportunity to spend your college years in a vibrant city surrounded by exceptional people provides the foundation for an extraordinary life._

 _The University of Washington family welcomes you. We believe that the University of Washington will help you flourish and find out who you are as an individual. We have attached all of the scholarship information in this packet. We hope to hear from you soon!_

 _Sincerely,_

 _University of Washington Admissions Department_

I hand the letter to Charlie and look at the following packets of information for the scholarship. It all seems so surreal that they're willing to give me all of this money just from my application and transcripts.

"Wow, Bells, this is… just wow."

"I know…"

"What do you think you're going to do?"

"I have no idea. I just found a family and a home with you here in Phoenix… I don't want to leave it yet. It's the only home I've ever known…"

Charlie pulls me back to his arms. I didn't even realize that I was crying until I felt something wet against the fabric of his shirt.

"You're always going to have a home here, Bella. No matter what you choose."

I nod my head and drop the subject. We finish cooking and eating in relative silence. Neither one of us know what to say.

If I go to the University of Arizona, I'll be able to stay at home with Charlie and all of my friends, but I'll have to pay for tuition. If I go to the University of Washington, I'll be back with a lot of the people from Forks which is something I was hoping I'd never have to do again, but I'll be going to school for free.

I have never given college a thought before living Charlie because it was never an option. It's too expensive and I never had any money, but now…

I don't want to put Charlie in debt just to pay for my school… it just doesn't seem right. If I go to Washington, then I won't have to worry about it, but I would have to leave Charlie.

For the next few days, the only thing that I can seem to think about is college. Where should I go? I'm so torn and I have to give my final decision to Mrs. Young by tomorrow morning. I've talked to Riley, Leah, and Bree about it, but all they say is to follow my heart. Problem is, I don't know what my heart is saying… I don't know what to do.

As I lay in bed tonight, I start looking over all the papers to both schools, trying to find something that will make the decision for me. Something that stands out… anything.

As I'm rereading my acceptance letter from Washington, something in it makes me stop.

 _We believe that the University of Washington will help you flourish and find out who you are as an individual._

It's almost the same thing that Mrs. Young told me the day that I got the packet.

 _I want you to realize what you're capable of by yourself._

Everyone seems to think that I'm going to be able to find myself… Do I need to find myself?

I think long and hard for a moment. All of my life, I've been something to somebody else. I've been Phil's punching bag. I was Renee's monthly paycheck. For Edward, I was… I don't even know what I was for Edward. For Charlie, I was the daughter that he never got to see grow up. But what about me? Who am I to me? Who am I as a person?

That night, I dreamt about Edward. For the first time since prom, I let myself think about the boy that I loved who broke my heart. I dreamed about him being here, with me, telling me what to do.

 _"_ _You need to do what's right for you, Bella. You're the only one who is going to know which one that is."_

 _I look up to him. I can feel the tears pricking the back of my eyes as I hear his voice. "But what if I don't know what's right for me? Everyone keeps telling me that I need to listen to my heart, but I don't even know what that means!" I'm practically yelling at him now, tears freely streaming down my face._

 _Edward pulls me into his arms and lightly strokes my hair. "Shh, baby. It's okay. What do you want?"_

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_

 _"_ _What do you want out of life? What are your goals?"_

 _I think long and hard before answering. "I want to change. I don't want to be the sad little girl who got beat up by her foster dad. I want to be strong."_

 _"_ _Baby, you're so strong and you don't even realize it. You're the strongest person I've ever met."_

 _I try to pull away from him, but he just holds me tighter._

 _"_ _Don't tell me that I'm wrong, Bella," Edward says. "You. Are. Strong. You know what you want to do, you just have to let yourself admit it."_

 _For the first time since he appeared, I finally build up the courage to look into Edward's eyes. "I don't want to go back to Washington and go back to the same girl who everyone made fun of. I don't want to be weak anymore, Edward. I want to be strong. I want to show them that I've changed and I want to continue changing. I need to prove to myself that I'm not that same little girl anymore. I'm not weak anymore and I never want to feel that way again. I need to prove it."_

 _"_ _I think you have your answer then," he whispers._

 _"_ _What if I can't?"_

 _"_ _You can."_

 _"_ _I don't want to fail."_

 _"_ _You'll never know unless you try."_

 _"_ _I don't want to disappoint anyone."_

 _"_ _You can't live with regrets, Bella. If there's one thing that I've learned over the past few years, it's that."_

 _I sigh and pull Edward closer to me. "I miss you."_

 _"_ _I miss you so much, Bella. I love you."_

Before I get the chance to say it back, my alarm clock goes off, thus waking me up from my dream.

I wipe the tears out of my eyes and look at the acceptance letters in front of me. I take a deep breath before throwing one letter in the trash and holding the other in my hand, ready to go tell Charlie my final decision.

 **A/N: Was it worth the wait? I'm sorry that I kind of jumped around a lot in this chapter, but like I've said before, I'm just trying to move things along. Tell me what you thought in a review! Next up, EPOV (probably not for a little while, but I'll get it up when I can)!**


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: What is this? A chapter on time? Ya'll should be pretty fucking proud of me, guys.**

 **Anyway, thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Note the date at the beginning of the chapter. Sorry this one is so short! Regardless, I hope you enjoy it.**

 **"** **And don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not. Baby, when I know you're only sorry you got caught." – Rihanna**

Chapter 36

EPOV

August 2011

"Oh she's cute, Edward. Oh, what about her?" Kate asks excitedly.

Today is the first day of school at UDUB and Kate has made it her personal mission to find me a girlfriend right at the start.

"I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now Kate, we've been over this." And we have, about a million times. Kate seems to think that I've spent more than enough time sulking and now it's time for me to get over everything that happened back in high school. Well, that's easier said than done.

"I know we have, but it's still nice to keep your options open."

I roll my eyes and drag my stuff into my dorm room. Because I'm playing football here, I got a dorm room to myself, much to Kate's jealousy. She's already claimed that she's spending every waking moment she can in my dorm so she doesn't have to deal with her roommates.

I set all of my stuff down in my room and walk right back out the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, Edward? You have to unpack! Then you have to help me unpack!"

I chuckle and grin at Kate. "No can do, Kate. I have practice in exactly," I glance at my watch, "twenty – two minutes. I've got to go meet the team in the locker room. Have fun unpacking all of mine and your shit!" And with that, I run out the door before Kate can assault me for ditching her with all of our stuff.

When I walk into the locker room, the first thing I notice is how nice it is. The locker room back at Forks High was okay, but this one is absolutely amazing. It's enormous, for one. There's got to be over one hundred lockers throughout the room – enough for everyone on the team to have their own. There's several dozen full size showers in the back. There are mini fridges and microwaves everywhere. There are speakers everywhere. It's all a little overwhelming, honestly.

I walk up to the locker that has my name on it and begin to get changed. I still have a little time before I have to be on the field, so I take my time getting ready.

When I finish lacing up my shoes, I hear the rowdy laughter, of what could only be one specific person, come in the doors.

Emmett.

I whip my head around when I hear him come up behind me.

"Edward Cullen. It's been a long time." The frown on Emmett's face takes me by surprise. I can't remember the last time I saw him be pissed at something.

"Too long, Emmett," I say half-heartedly.

I don't even have time to blink before I'm on the ground.

 _Emmett punched me. He fucking punched me._

Immediately, I got up, ready to fight back.

"What the fuck was that for?" I yell angrily.

"Seriously? You have to ask that?"

"Yeah, I do. You punched me for no fucking reason!"

"No reason? That's rich."

"Then why the hell did you do it? Please enlighten me."

Emmett's expression gets even angrier. I didn't even realize that he could get this mad. "You seriously have the fucking balls to not even feel any remorse for everything that you said?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I yell, completely exasperated. I honestly have no idea as to what he's going on about.

"You're fucking ridiculous." He rolls his eyes and continues. "The last time I was in Forks? My party? Any of this ringing a bell in that nonexistent head of yours?"

I shake my head. _What the fuck? I don't remember hardly anything from that night and the parts that I do remember, I wish I could forget._

"You were pissed as hell at Bella for keeping secrets? You found out that I knew them and didn't tell you. You were so livid that you tried to fucking fight me before Jacob stepped in. Well, I'm here now, let's fucking fight." And with that, Emmett takes another swing at me, but this time I was expecting it. I swiftly moved to the side and grabbed his arm and twisted backwards.

"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about, Em. That night… I can't tell you how much I wish I could take back that night. So many mistakes were made… apparently some that I don't remember too. Em, you have to understand."

"That's exactly what I told you. You need to understand where Bella was coming from with all her secrets, but did you listen to me? No, so fuck that." The mention of Bella makes me flinch and he notices.

Emmett tackles me to the ground and starts punching me. On instinct, I hit him back and try to shove him off of me. If I thought Emmett was big in high school, well, that's nothing compared to how he is now. It takes everything in me to get a decent hit in.

Several punches, a bloodied lip, and some fresh new bruises later, some of the guys who had just come into the locker room try to break us up.

"Get off the freshman, Em. Coach is going to kill you if he comes in here and finds you on top of him like this. You know Coach has some kind of infatuation with this QB." One of the guys, Sam I think, says.

Eventually, they are able to push him off of me. We both get up and dust ourselves off. "Don't fucking cross me, Cullen. Bella was a great girl and you went and fucked her up more than she already was."

"Emmett, look I –"

"Fucking save it," he interrupts. "I'm done with you." He turns around and leaves the locker room, the rest of the team following him out.

A couple guys laughed as they went out saying. "Way to make a great first impression, dude."

"Fuck I've never seen Emmet so mad! That Cullen guy must really be a dick."

I was ready to punch the locker in frustration. I sigh heavily and start to make my way out the door.

I got to the field and was completely ignored until one guy turned back to look at me, pity filling his eyes. "It'll get easier, dude."

I huff in irritation and nodd my head. As soon as I step out onto the field for the first part of practice, I let all my frustrations out. Everything that just happened in the locker room is fueling me right now.

The entire practice, all I can think about was how pissed I was at Emmett for not giving me the chance to explain everything. In return, my game was amazing. I dodged every block. I threw the ball harder and farther than ever before. I had three 75 rushing touchdown runs. I was fucking on my game today.

After practice, when everyone was in the locker room showering, a couple of the guys came up to me and said, "You may be an asshole, but damn Cullen, you can fucking play."

I roll my eyes, but thank them anyways.

I didn't play football to make friends. I came for my parents. I don't care to bond with the team or even see them outside of practice and games. I don't care about them.

I don't care about anything.

 _Not anymore._

 **September 2011**

"I'm sick and tired of you moping around here all day, Edward. You need to start living."

I raise an eyebrow at Kate. "And how do you propose I do that?"

"We're going out tonight. Theta Chi is having a party tonight, and I just happened to get us invited," Kate smirked gleefully.

"What the hell makes you think that I want to go to a frat party?"

"Because I want to go out and you're my best friend, so that automatically makes you want to go out too." Kate gives me her best puppy dog face.

"That is not true. I have no intention of going out. My partying days are over. You know that," I say with conviction.

"Please, Edward! Go with me. I don't want to go alone and you don't need to stay in your room for the next four years. Come on! Let's go!"

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please! I promise I won't let you drink and that we'll be back to the dorms at a reasonable hour. Please, Edward. For me?"

I roll my eyes, but I could feel my resolve weakening. "If I say yes, will you shut up already?"

"Yes! Yes! A million times yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank –"

"Kate!" I yell.

"What?"

"You're supposed to be shutting up, remember?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

I try not to grimace as Kate jumps on top of me and hugs me.

"I'm going to go get ready! Theta Chi awaits!"

I groan in displeasure when I realize that she is right. I look down at my basketball shorts and sweaty cut off and realize that I can't wear this to a frat party. I grab a quick shower and change into a pair of khaki shorts and a blue button up. Not much, but still a bit dressier than my nasty practice clothes.

An hour later, Kate and I are walking into the doors of the Theta Chi house. Immediately, Kate heads straight for the beer, while I head straight for the couch.

I don't want to be here. The only reason I came was to appease Kate and now that I'm here, I'm just going to ignore everyone.

I sit on the couch, for who knows how long, before some girl comes and sits on my lap, two cups of beer in her hands.

Not wanting to be rude, but also being uncomfortable with the situation, I slowly start to scoot her off of me. "Uh, can I help you?"

She smiles and giggles. "No, but I think I can help you," she slurs out.

 _Fuck. This girl is drunk off her ass. I can smell the alcohol on her breath. It's absolutely disgusting._

"Yeah, I don't think you can." Her fingers start to run up and down my chest before trying to undo the buttons on my shirt.

"Hmm, I can show you all that I can help you with." She starts trailing wet kisses up my neck, but before she could reach my lips, I push her off forcefully.

"I said get off!" I stand up abruptly which makes the drink in her hand spill all over her dress.

She screeches and yells at me. "What the hell? I didn't know the quarterback for the football team would be such a fucking prude!"

I roll my eyes and start heading for the door. I knew going to a party tonight was a bad idea. Alcohol and I just do not mix well, whether I'm the one drinking it or not. I promised myself that I wouldn't put myself in the position with alcohol when I got to school, and yet, here I am.

When I get to the door, I feel a hand grab my elbow. "What the hell is wrong with you, Edward?"

Without looking back at her, I say, "I'm going back to my room, Kate. I came to this stupid party just like you asked, and now I'm leaving."

"You know that's not what I meant! What the hell did you do to Jackie?"

 _So, that's the mysterious slut's name._

"I didn't do anything to her, Kate. She came on to me and I'm not interested," I stop for a second and think. "How did you know I was with a girl?" I accuse.

Kate's eyes drop to the ground.

"You tried to set me up," I say knowingly.

"Look, she's a sweet girl and I know –"

"What is it that you think you fucking know?" I can't help the venom in my voice. Kate picks up on it too because she immediately takes a step back before responding.

I turn around anc chance a look at Kate's face and instantly regret it. She's absolutely livid, completely drunk, but livid all the same. Seems like I hit a nerve.

"You want to know what I know, Edward? I know that you're a coward. You are too scared to move the fuck on from Bella. You think that just because it didn't work out with one girl, then it's not going to work out with any other one. You think that one broken heart is going to define you for the rest of your life. You think drinking is going to always lead to something bad happening. Well, guess what, it doesn't. You're just too much of a coward to put yourself out there again. You're too much of a coward to try and move on. Jackie is a really great girl, Edward, and now you've ruined something that could've been great."

I sigh in frustration. "You have no idea what you are talking about, Kate, and if I were you, I would stop before you piss me off even more."

"You need to move on, Edward."

"I can't!" I huff angrily and start the walk back to the dorms.

I hear an angry Kate yell, "Whatever, asshole!" from somewhere behind me.

When I get back to my dorm, I take a long scolding hot shower to kill my nerves. Sometimes Kate really knows how to push my buttons. I've told her a million times that I can't move on from Bella and I thought she understood that.

I scoff at myself. I guess I thought wrong.

The next morning, I wake up early and get dressed in some clean basketball shorts and a Forks High School football hoodie. I lace up my tennis shoes and head out the door. I'm still furious about what happened at the party last night.

When I would get angry like this in therapy, Dr. Carmen would suggest that I need an outlet to let everything out, so I'm going running to clear my head.

I jog around campus for about an hour. To my relief, I feel better as I'm running. It helps me clear my head. It gives me the chance to go over in my head what happened last night.

I turn the corner to head back to my dorm when I feel something jump on me from behind, completely knocking me to the ground and attacking my face.

 **A/N: Thoughts? What do you think just happened to Edward? What do you think is going to happen with him and Kate? What about Edward's fight with Emmett? Let me know what you think with a review! Next up, BPOV! See you guys next time.**


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is a happy and a sad moment right now. This is the final chapter of The Chances We Take. I would just like to take this moment to thank all of those who have stuck with me since the beginning over a year ago. Thanks for all of your support and reviews, I can't tell you how much they've meant to me. Without further ado, here's the last piece of the puzzle.**

 **"** **And all of those things I didn't say, wrecking balls inside my brain. I will scream them loud tonight. Can you hear my voice this time?" – Rachel Platten**

Chapter 37

BPOV

September 2011

As soon as I see Scamp take off in a dead sprint ahead of me, I pick up my pace to chase after him. I don't know what's gotten in to him! Something just set him off and he bolted.

When I finally catch up to Scamp, I try to yank him off the poor, unsuspecting guy, but it doesn't work very well; Scamp is too strong, for me even, at only one year old. I start apologizing for Scamp's behavior before the guy even has a chance to say anything.

"Scamp! Get down!" I quickly turn to the stranger who is now covered in Scamp's slobber. "I am so sorry. I don't know what came over him. He has never done anything like that before. He only ever attacks someone like that if he kno –" My words get stuck in my throat as I finally get a good look at the stranger. "Edward," I whisper so low that I am surprised when I see his head snap up when he hears his name.

His mouth drops and Edward quickly gets off of the ground. "Bella."

We merely stand and stare at each other. Neither one of us are able to break the contact. What feels like hours goes by before someone speaks.

"Um, how have you been, Edward?" I ask him, suddenly very nervous.

I watch Edward's eyes go wide, probably shocked that I'm the one initiating the conversation. "Uh. Um. Uh, I'm fine. How have you been, Bella? I mean, holy hell, Bella, you look amazing. Not that you didn't look amazing before, but, now I mean… damn. Not that there was anything wrong with how you looked before… fuck, I need to shut up."

I can't help the giggle that comes out of my mouth at his blabbering.

A soft smile comes across his face. "I've missed that sound."

I smile sadly at him and look at my shoes. I've known this boy for three years and every time he says something like that, I can never think of something to say back.

I take this moment to take Edward in for the first time, I mean really take him in. He's grown another couple of inches since I last saw him. He's definitely more muscular. He has a slight scruff on his face. His eyes look tired and worn out. He looks more mature than he did back in high school. He looks more like a man now. It suits him well, very well. He's beautiful.

I'm broken out of my thoughts when some girl runs and jumps on top of Edward and holds him like her life depended on it. "I knew I would find you out here. You always run when you're frustrated. Anyway, I'm so sorry, Edward! I don't know what came over me last night! I'm sorry. I was so drunk and I didn't even know what I was saying. I'm sor –"

"Kate," he interrupts. "It's okay. I'm in no position to judge someone on their actions when they're drunk. Forget about it. It's done and in the past."

The girl, Kate I presume, smiles and tightens her grip around him. Edward awkwardly smiles at me and gently pushes Kate off of him. "Um Kate, this is Bella."

I do my best to smile, but I think it comes off more as a grimace.

 _Of course, Edward has moved on by now. He's always had girls throwing themselves at him, why did I think that he would still be stuck on me like I am on him? It's absolutely ridiculous._

"Hi, Kate. It's, um, nice to meet you."

Kate's eyes go wide and she looks in between Edward and me. "Bella? Bela Swan? _The_ Bella? From Forks? That Bella?"

My face scrunches up in confusion, but I can't help but feel a little giddy. If Edward told her about me, maybe I meant something to him after all.

"Uh, yeah, Kate. This is _that_ Bella." Edward looks uncomfortable.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you, Bella Swan. I've heard way too much about you."

I'm taken back by her comment, but I try not to let it faze me. I look at my shoes for a distraction. It's only then that I notice Scamp basically harassing Edward. He's jumping on Edward repeatedly and licking his sweaty shirt.

"Scamp! Get off of him!" He immediately obeys.

"Oh, no. He's fine, Bella." To prove his point, he reaches down and scratches Scamp behind his ears. Scamp rewards him another lick to his hand.

Despite his words, the longer I stay standing there, the more uncomfortable I get.

"I'll, just um, be on my way then. Sorry to interrupt your jog." I side step him and call for Scamp to follow me. I go a few steps before I hear arguing behind me.

 _Shit, I didn't mean to mess things up with his new girlfriend._

I don't get much time to worry over it before I feel a tugging on my arm. "Bella, wait up."

"What do you want, Edward?"

"I'm sorry about Kate. I didn't know she would just show up like that…"

"It's okay. You don't have to explain your girlfriend's actions to me. It's not like we're… friends anymore." Even I can hear the depressing tone in my voice.

"Girlfriend? Hah! She wishes," Edward chuckles out.

I frown and continue walking.

"Bella, wait!" He grabs my arm once more. "Kate is not, and never will be, my girlfriend. She's my best friend, nothing romantic between us at all."

I feel embarrassed by the amount of relief that courses through me at his recollection. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to assume."

Edward sighs and looks around. "Do you want to go somewhere, I don't know, a little more private to talk?"

I'm a little taken back by his offer, but something in me pushes me to accept. "Um, sure. Do you have some place in mind already?"

He runs his hands through his hair, making it seem more messy than usual. "There's a little coffee shop not too far from here. Is that cool?"

I nod my head and let him lead the way.

When we get to the coffee shop, I tie Scamp to the bike rack while Edward picks a booth in the back for us to sit. Neither of us has said anything since we left the park, so I decide to break the silence. "So, what's the deal with you and Kate?" The words are out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about what I'm saying. I think I surprised Edward too because he doesn't respond right away. This is something the old Bella would have been brave enough to ask.

"When you left, things were really bad. I became… depressed. I lost you and my best friend all within a matter of days. I didn't have a way to cope with that, so I shut down for months.

"On the first day of senior year, I met Kate. She told me off and didn't walk on eggshells around me like everyone else did. It was refreshing and I ended up breaking down in front of her and she let me. She stayed with me as I cried and told her about the girl that I fell in love with. She was very patient and understanding about it.

"After I had calmed down enough to realize that I had just poured my heart out to a stranger, she made me feel like everything was going to be alright. We became friends instantly. She helped me get through everything. She was the one who convinced me to go to therapy. She convinced me to do a lot of things."

Edward's not looking at me anymore, he's looking out in the distance somewhere, completely lost in his own story.

"She's the one who convinced me to play football here. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. I owe her so much, Bella. I needed someone like her when all of this happened. She brought me out of my funk and helped me remember who I am."

"I'm glad you found her then, Edward. It sounds like she is very good to you," I say, truly meaning it.

"She is."

I smile.

"Did you find someone like that?"

I smile as I tell him about the time I spent with Charlie in Phoenix. I tell him everything that happened during my time there. I forgot how easy it is to talk to him. We talk for ages and I love every minute of it.

"And you're talking, to everyone, not just to me. That's so amazing."

I blush at his words. "Yeah… I got a lot of support from my therapist back in Phoenix. He helped me so much." I pause for a moment, debating whether or not to tell him the rest, but his soft expression reminded me of the boy that I fell in love with, so I continue. "It also helped getting away from Renee and Phil. Charlie was an amazing dad to me. He listened to me, respected me… loved me, stuff that I didn't get from Phil and Renee. It was something so new to me and just being there with him made me see that the right people will listen to you. The right people will be there for you. The right people will love you…" I trail off.

"I'm so proud of you, Bella."

"I'm proud of me too."

"So, tell me more about Phoenix." I smile and begin telling Edward about my friends there, Scamp, and other mindless things. It feels good to talk to someone who knew me from before that I know won't judge me.

Edward chuckles when I tell him about the time Charlie almost set our house on fire. "I've really missed this, Bella. I've missed you," he says sincerely.

"I've missed you too, Edward, so much."

"I really do want to try and be friends with you, Bella."

"I'd like that." I smile and bite my lip, a habit I picked up in Phoenix.

"So, how about this? We meet here, at this coffee shop, every morning after our run. We'll sit, eat breakfast, and catch each other up on everything and anything, okay?"

I smile at him. "That sounds great. I'll see you here, every morning then."

 **October 2011**

I hear a familiar voice call my name from across the tiny coffee shop. "Bella Swan? Is that you?"

My head snaps around. I can't contain the grin on my face as it Emmett makes his way over to me. "Emmett."

"It's been too long, Belly bear."

"I've missed you, Em." He looks like he wants to hug me, but doesn't know if he can. Realizing that the last time he saw me, I didn't talk, let alone touch anybody, I knew what I had to do. Knowing that Emmett wasn't going to make the first move, I wrap my arms around him. He stiffens at first, like he doesn't know how to respond, but eventually loosens up.

We pull apart when we hear a throat clear behind us. I turn to see Edward standing there.

"McCarty."

"Cullen."

I look between the two of them. _What the hell is going on with those too? They were best friends last time I checked._

"I'm going to go get something to eat and give you two a minute," Edward says quietly.

As soon as he's out of earshot, Emmett asks me, "So, you got out of that house?"

I nod my head. "I left before junior year ended to live with Charlie down in Arizona."

"I heard about what happened from some old buddies of mine back in Forks… I'm so sorry you felt like you had to do that to get away. If I had known it was that bad, Bella… I never would've left."

"There was nothing you could've done, Em. Besides, it's all over with now. I've moved on and I have a better life, one that I love living. It's all in the past."

Emmett gives me a sad smile. "I'm glad to hear that, Bella, seriously."

"Edward's helped a lot in the transition back to Washington too. We meet for breakfast every morning. Honestly, it's the best part of my day."

Emmett raises his eyebrows at me. "So, you've forgiven him?"

"There was never anything to forgive."

Emmett snorts and mumbles something under his breath. Seconds later, Edward comes back with enough food to feed a small army. "Are you planning on going into hibernation anytime soon, Cullen?" Emmett teases, I think. Something is going on between them, but I don't comment on it.

"I just didn't know what anyone wanted, so I got a little bit of everything."

"Oh," Emmett says. "That's cool."

Edward smiles half-heartedly and motions for us to dig in.

We sit, talk, and eat for a while before they announce that they have to go to practice. As I get up to leave, Edward right behind me, Emmett stops him. "Edward, wait."

I turn around at the sound of Edward's name. Edward looks to me and shakes his head, silently telling me that he'll catch up to me in a second. I nod and walk out the door.

A few minutes later, Edward and Emmett come out together, smiles on their faces.

"Did I miss something important?"

Emmett grins. "Nah, just two friends catching up, that's all."

"Oh, um, okay. I'll see you guys later?"

"Yeah, it was great to see you again, Bella. If you ever need anything," he gives me a pointed look, "and I mean anything, you call me, alright?"

I giggle and agree.

"I'll see you in the morning, right Bells?"

I smile and nod. I watch as they walk down the sidewalk talking and laughing with each other. Whatever tension I felt in the coffee shop is completely gone now and I couldn't be happier for them.

 **November 2011**

I don't think I'll ever get over the feeling I get when I see Edward walk through those doors every morning. There's just something about the way this boy, no this man, smiles when we make eye contact. It makes me wonder what I ever did to deserve him as a friend now or even as more than that back then.

"Good morning, Bella. How was your jog?"

I smile. "It was great. I ran the most I've ever ran this morning – ten miles. It feels good."

Edward's face lights up. "That's amazing, Bella! I'm still so amazed by the fact that you're so healthy and active now. I love it."

"I do too. I love feeling in charge of my own body. I decide how I look and feel. It's exhilarating."

Edward's smile softens a bit before slowly disappearing. The air between us automatically tenses. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"I really hate to ruin the morning, but there's some stuff I have to get off my chest, Bells. Stuff I should've talked you about a while ago, but I never had the courage."

"You're starting to scare me…" I don't like where this is going.

 _What could he possibly have to tell me after all this time?_

"I don't know how to put this lightly, so I'm just going to come right out and say it." I nod my head and make eye contact with him, silently giving him my permission to continue. "That day when you were in the hospital… after you tried to…"

I could sense the hesitation in his words, so I spoke up. "I know what you're talking about, Edward. Keep going," I say with a sad smile.

He sends me a thankful smile and grabs my hand from across the table. "The entire time you were in the hospital, I wouldn't leave your side. I was determined to be there when you woke up. I wanted, no needed to talk to you, to apologize to you, to make things right. My parents took the hint after I yelled at them for trying to get me to leave you. I was so determined to be the first person you saw when you woke up…"

"But you weren't there when I woke up. Charlie was. What happened?" I remember how badly I wanted to see him when I woke up. I wanted him to be the one who was there to greet me, but he wasn't. Then I felt silly for actually letting myself hope that he would care enough to be there.

"I got a letter a couple of hours before you woke up… from Jacob Black."

I raise my eyebrow and he continues. "It was basically a confession of him saying that he was sorry for all the things he did to you… and me."

"You?" I scoff. "What did he do to you?"

"The night of Emmett's party… when everything between you and me went down… he drugged me."

My eyes go wide. "What? Are you serious? Why would he do that? That's awful!"

"He said that Tanya made him do it… I don't know, Bella, but that's not the point I'm making here. The letter Jacob wrote me wasn't only a confession to all of those things…" Edward takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair. "It was a suicide letter."

I feel my body go completely still. "What?" I ask shakily.

"I left the hospital immediately after reading it, but I was too late. It was already done. I found the body."

"Oh, no, Edward. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." I can't imagine finding someone's dead body… "How did you cope?"

He chuckles forcefully. "I didn't. I locked myself in my room for months. It wasn't until I met that I agreed to go to therapy and I truly faced everything that I went through those few days… Almost losing you, finding Jake's body, the love of my life moving away shortly after she almost died in my arms… it was all too much."

I don't know what to say to him. We haven't talked about me jumping off the cliff at all. I don't know how he expects me to react to everything he just told me.

Sensing my unease, Edward keeps talking. "I just thought you should know about Jacob. And James… well, he stayed in Forks after he graduated. He overdosed a couple of weeks before I left to come here, Bella."

"Oh," I whisper, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, well, like I said, I thought you should know."

"Um, yeah, thank you."

He looked like he wanted to say something else, but didn't know how to start. Right when I thought he was going to speak again, the alarm on my phone goes off, signaling that my class is about to start.

"Sorry, Edward. I have to go to class," I say reluctantly. I really want to know what else he was going to say, what else is on his mind.

He stands when I stand and runs his hand through his hair. "Yeah, shit, I'm sorry I've kept you so long."

I smile and step towards him. "No, thank you for telling me." I slowly bring my arms around his waist and hug him for the first time in so long. At first, Edward is completely still, probably unsure of how to react, but he eventually responds. His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to him so I could feel every inch of his body.

 _Damn, it feels good to be back in his arms._

After a few minutes too long, we let go. I walk to the door of the coffee shop before turning around and waving back at him, but he doesn't see me. Edward is hanging his head down. He looks so torn about something. I know I should go back to him and demand he tell me what's really on his mind, but I have an exam in less than ten minutes that I can't miss.

I sigh and make my way out the door and to class. If he really needs to tell me something, I just have to trust that he will when he's ready.

 ****TCWT****

The entire day, I'm completely distracted. All I can think about is how Edward looked when I left the coffee shop. I want to text him and ask him what was going through his head, but I restrain myself.

When I finish my classes for the day, I walk back to my dorm. As soon as I get to my room, my phone buzzes. I look down to see a text from Edward.

 **Can we meet? I really need to talk to you. – E**

I reply immediately.

 **Of course. Where did you have in mind? – B**

His response took mere seconds.

 **The little diner across from the dorms in ten minutes? – E**

I'm walking out the door as I type my reply.

 **See you then. – B**

It only takes me about five minutes to get to the diner When I walk into the small diner, I immediately spot Edward in a booth in the corner. He waves slowly and I make my way over to him. "I'm glad you texted me. You seemed a little distressed after our conversation this morning."

"Yeah, I, uh, didn't finish everything I had to say and I didn't want you to be late to class."

"Well, I'm here now, Edward. Tell me what's on your mind."

"Bells, I've thought of this a lot since we…" he pauses a sad look crosses his face.

 _Broke up._ I fill in for him in my head. "I know what you mean. Continue," I say encouragingly.

He takes a deep breath. "The first time we slept together, that night in the hotel room after my football game, we didn't use a condom."

On the outside, I try to remain calm and composed, but on the inside, I'm freaking out.

 _Where is this coming from? This is nothing like where I saw this conversation going._

Edward apparently didn't notice my zoning out, so I quickly tuned back into what he was saying. "We never used one after that time either. I was young and stupid and every time I looked at you, I got hard. My dick had a mind of its own. By the time I started touching you, thoughts of putting a condom on weren't even on my radar. I never used a condom when we made love. I always wanted to just feel you and only you. I didn't want some stupid rubber –"

As cute as it was to see him all flustered over this, I am curious to see what the point of bringing _this,_ of all things, up is. "Edward," I interrupt him with my giggles, "you're rambling. Just get to the point."

He takes another deep breath. "Did you ever, I don't know, get worried about being pregnant or something? It seems silly now, but I just want to know."

I sigh and take a deep breath. This isn't the first time he asked me this, but this time I'm prepared to give him an answer, the truth. "Edward, I couldn't have kids back then," I saw slowly, hoping that he would understand what I was saying.

"Yeah, I mean it seems impossible because we were both so young, but it was always possible," he insists.

"No it wasn't," I push. His confused expression says it all, so I chuckle lightly and continue. "Edward, I didn't have a menstrual period until I was living with Charlie."

"What? Why?" I smile sadly. "The whole point of having a period is your body's way of telling you that you're ready to bear a child. Physically, I couldn't have a child back then. To have a period, you have to be healthy. You had to have a steady source of nutrition and nourishment, not to mention the fact that I was so small back then. My body wasn't ready physically to have periods. So, no. I never had any thoughts or worries about being pregnant, Edward. It never crossed my mind that we never used protection when we…" I couldn't help the blush that crept on my face.

"It wasn't exactly at the top of my list when we were, uh, in the moment either. Nice to know that I wasn't the only one a little distracted back then," he says, a knowing smirk comes across his face.

I chuckle at his attempt to lighten the mood. "No, you definitely weren't the only one distracted back then."

A strange expression crosses his face at my words. "You know what, Bella?"

I tilt my head to the side, unsure of where he was going. "What?"

"We've talked a lot these past few weeks about just random stuff, Bella. I want to hear about you. I want to know more about you. I want to know who you were exactly back in high school, the girl that you kept hidden from the world, from me. I want to know the new you. I want to know everything."

With a smile on our faces and a new goal to really get to know who each other is and was, we spend the next four hours sitting at the little corner booth in that diner. I tell him everything that he wanted and it felt good. He now knows everything there is to know about me and he has yet to run. Instead, he wants to know more. Additionally, Edward filled me in on what I had missed in his life.

The entire time we are together, I can feel something happening. Something changed between us tonight. We clicked again. Everything fell in place somehow and I find myself falling for this man all over again.

That night, Edward walks me back to my dorm. Before I walk in, he grabs my hand. "Bella?"

I turn around and face him, not realizing how close our bodies are to each other. Our faces are mere inches apart and the electricity between us is palpable.

"Do you think we could ever be… together again? Like we were in high school?" Edward whispers.

Taking a step back from him so I can think straight, I give him the answer I know he doesn't want to hear. "No, we can't."

The look on Edward's face says it all. I just broke his heart. Before he has a chance to be completely disheartened, I continue. "We can't be like we were in high school because we aren't the same people we were in high school. We've both grown so much since then. We've both gotten stronger in our own ways," I pause for a moment as I watch Edward process my words. "So no, we couldn't be together like we were in high school. It wouldn't be like that." I take a step towards him and stand on my tippy toes. I bring my lips close to his, but divert them at the last second. I bring them to his ear and whisper, "It would be better." I quickly peck his cheek and turn around and open the door to my dorm. I turn around when I'm half way inside and whisper, "Goodnight, Edward. I'll see you in the morning."

He grins from ear to ear and nods his head.

 _Man, I've missed that smile._

 **December 2011**

"Will you come to my game tomorrow? It's at 12."

"I don't know if I can, Edward. I have a lot of studying to do."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry," I say, truly remorseful.

"No, it's okay." I can see the disappointment in his features.

"I have to go to class now."

"I'll see you Monday then?"

I give him a small smile. "Yeah."

He smiles back at me, but it doesn't quite reach his face.

I hate leaving like this. Things have been so wonderful between us these past few weeks. It's like we started over completely. I can feel old feelings resurfacing and making themselves present in my heart, but I don't know how prominent they are.

The entire day goes by quickly and before I know it, I'm getting ready for bed.

When I go to sleep, all I can think about is the look of disappointment Edward had when I told him I couldn't go to his game. Something in the back of my mind keeps saying that I need to go to this game. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's persistent.

When I wake up, I make up my mind to go to the game. I'll surprise him and hopefully figure out what this feeling is inside of me in the process.

At precisely 11:45, I leave my dorm to head to the football stadium. It's very crowded when I get there, but I am still able to find a seat close to the front of the field for an easy exit.

There are so many memories, good ones, that come back as I watch Edward play. There's just something about seeing him down there, doing what he loves, that makes me realize something. It's the same feeling that haunted me in my sleep last night. As I think about everything that I've been through with Edward, I realize what it is.

I never stopped loving him and I never will.

He's it for me. My one true love.

This is the only thing I can think about throughout the entire game. I barely even notice when the final buzzer goes off. I take a quick glance at the scoreboard to confirm that we won.

With a smile on my face at my epiphany, I make my way down to the field to find Edward. It doesn't take me long. When our eyes meet, he takes off in a sprint towards me. He picks me up and spins me around when he reaches me, our gaze never breaking. "You came."

"I love you, Edward."

I watch as his expression changes as he processes my words. "I love you, Bella, so much. I never stopped." And with that, he softly presses his lips to mine and nothing has ever felt so right before in my entire life.

When we pull apart, he breathlessly asks me, "Will you go somewhere with me? Right now?"

Without a second thought, I agree.

He takes me by the hand and leads me out of the stadium and to his car. The entire drive to wherever he's taking me, he keeps my hand in his. Every once in a while, he brings my hand to his lips and plants small kisses om my knuckles. Other than that, no words are spoken between us, none are needed.

About two hours into the trip, I see a familiar road come into view.

 _We're back in Forks._

I give Edward a suspicious look, but he just smiles.

A few minutes, later he pulls into a small gravel parking lot and we get out. I know exactly where we're going. I can't help the smile that forms on my face as Edward takes my hand once more and leads me into the woods and up to our meadow.

When we get there, Edward is the first to speak. "I know you can never forgive me for what happened back in high school, but I want to make it up to you," Edward says, looking directly into my eyes.

I smile softly at his sincerity. "There's nothing to forgive."

"But –" He interrupts, but I continue.

"That's what you do for the people you love. You forgive them." I pause, preparing myself for everything I'm about to say. "I took a chance on you Edward, you know, back when we were in high school? I risked my entire world being turned upside down on the slight chance that you might be different. Now look at me, over three years later, I got out of that terrible foster house, I found someone who truly believed in me, not only as a student, but as a daughter. I found Charlie. I found that I am worth loving. I am capable of love…" I glance at him slowly. His eyes are soft and filled with emotion. I pause before saying what I have to say next. "I love you, Edward." I'm looking directly into his eyes now. "You came into my life when I needed you the most. You were the first person to even think I was worth anything. You showed me what if felt like to be wanted. You were my first everything – first friend, first kiss, first love, first time." I blush as I recall the feeling of him inside of me from all those years ago. "I can't tell you how much you meant to me back then. I can never repay you for all you have done for me, Edward."

I pause and wait for him to say something, anything, but he doesn't. He looks like he is processing my words and finally he gets it. His face breaks out into a giant Cheshire grin and I have only a split second before his lips crash against mine. This kiss is different than the ones I remember. This one is filled with mutual love, not just one sided love. It's filled with passion.

Finally, he breaks apart from me and whispers, "I love you so much, Bella. I always have and I always will." He crashes his lips against mine once more.

 **A/N: The end! Let me know what you guys thought of everything! Look for my other stories in the future also! I might post some outtakes for this story – certain chapters told in the other person's point of view (this one for example) if enough people would like it. Seeing as this could be the last time I hear from you guys on this story, make sure you review and tell me what you thought of everything! Also, I have a knew book that I am going to start posting on Wattpad next Monday. Username basketballchick32 and the name of the story is One Step at a Time. Hope to see some of you there!**


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